by Michael Todd
Katie stuck the other half of the donut in her mouth, pushing it all the way in with her thumb. And that is?
How exactly do you expect to get these giant bombs to hell? Neither of us can open a portal to hell anymore; I am currently of very little use when it comes to any of that. I’m stuck in, like, this angel-demon limbo. I swear, it’s almost worse than hell.
Katie frowned. Yeah, I guess that is a problem.
Pandora waited for her to swallow a swig of milk. All of these little incursions are happening all over the place. We can get there lickity-split, but the portals are closing almost immediately. They are letting out a few demons and then poof.
Katie tapped her fingers on the table, picking out the next donut. I wish our technology was just a tiny bit faster. If we could get there before those tiny rifts open, we could just hop right in. Unfortunately, the only time we get a heads-up is when it’s a large incursion, and those are few and far between these days.
Pandora groaned. Not to mention that we are rarely with Timothy, and the government is off the table after our little stint with the World Council.
Katie shook her head. I don’t regret that. They wanted to tell me when, where, and how to kill demons. They acted like I was the villain here. After all the lives I’ve saved, and continue to save, they painted me as the bad guy. Fuck them.
Pandora sighed. I know, I know. You want the freedom to work on your own, and I don’t blame you or disagree. You have to admit, though, some of that technology and backup was nice to have, even if we barely used it. Now it’s not available.
Katie shrugged, taking another bite of donut. Okay, so we do the next best thing.
Pandora clicked her tongue. We create our own government, amass the people, and use the World Council as our slaves as we accomplish world domination?
Katie blinked. Not even close to what I was thinking.
Pandora grumped. You are seriously terrible with the whole concept of whoever has the power is the most...you know...powerful.
Katie chuckled. Yes, that’s usually how it goes. No, what I was going to say is that we’ll just have to wait for a big incursion, and that’s when we will go through to hell.
That’ll work too. I still like my idea better.
Beelzebub was sitting in his recliner inside his cave’s living room. In his hands, he had a book written by Lucifer, entitled How to Make Friends When You Rule the Underworld, and Other Practical Tips on Being an Overlord.
He read through a page and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “I swear, the devil seems to get bigger-headed by the day.”
A knock on his door drew his attention to the dark hallway. He groaned and closed the book, setting it on the side table. He slipped his large clawed feet into a pair of furry dachshund slippers and shuffled along, spilling his whiskey on the floor as it sloshed. He grabbed the handle and yanked the door open. “Yes? What do you want?”
Baal stood before him with his eyebrow raised. Beelzebub looked at him, surprised. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you. I thought you hated coming here.”
Baal nodded. “I do. Which is why you are coming outside. I have created a more...appropriate place to discuss our plans.”
Beelzebub looked around the corner, finding a small canopy with a table beneath it. He looked back at Baal. “You lugged a canopy all the way here just so you wouldn’t have to come inside?”
Baal pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, the corner embroidered with his name. “I think I developed a cold from your cave dwelling. It might be the first cold ever caught in hell.”
Beelzebub rolled his eyes and stepped outside, shutting the door behind him. “Well, show me what you got. No use in standing in the doorway while you wipe your demon nose with a fucking hankie. I swear, Baal—sometimes I think you still live with your mother.”
Baal walked toward the canopy, Beelzebub following. “My mother was one hell of a demon. If she hadn’t been slain by an angel, she would be my partner in this. No use in focusing on that, though. Here I am, stuck with you.”
Beelzebub chuckled, walking up to the table. “We’re doing pretty good, though. What do we have?”
Baal rolled out a map of the world and took a few tiny heads on sticks, grinding them into the map. “Those are the places we have attacked. I believe that it would be good for us to continue planning these incursions. I don’t like doing things at the last second.”
Beelzebub nodded. “I agree. What did you have in mind?”
Baal rubbed his chin. “I’m not too sure. I was thinking Italy, and then someplace in the States.”
Beelzebub took a gulp of his whiskey. “Remember, infect humans whenever you can. We want to make the humans fight against themselves, you know? It’s like psychological warfare. We know it’s easy for them to slash a demon, but to slash their neighbor? Their mother? Their child, even? It will create chaos.”
Baal nodded, opening his mouth to say something. Suddenly, a rift appeared behind them and out stepped a medium-sized demon with a large horn in the center of his head, walking upright. He let the rift shut behind him and put out his hand. “There you are, Baal. Your house demons told me where I could find you.”
Baal growled. “Those idiots.”
The demon chuckled. “Don’t be too hard on them. I threatened to have their dicks for a new belt if they didn’t tell me.”
Baal sighed. “I suppose that would do it. Dartmus, this is Beelzebub. Beelzebub, this is one of my informants, Dartmus.”
Dartmus nodded. “Yes, I recognize you from the treatise on the war you did many years ago. In my opinion, brilliant work.”
Beelzebub stood up a bit taller. “Why, thank you. It’s nice to speak to a demon with intelligence. The little ones seem to only know a few words, and the rest is gibberish.”
Baal narrowed his eyes with annoyance. “Right, then. If you two are done making out, can we get to business? Dartmus, I’m assuming you have information for me?”
Dartmus cleared his throat and turned to Baal. “I do. I didn’t come to the outer rings on a field trip. No offense, Beelzebub.”
Beelzebub shrugged, sipping his drink. “Understandable.”
Dartmus turned to Baal. “The humans are setting up forts in major cities all over the world. They include massive artillery, and an ability to talk back and forth with each other. Ultimately, it looks as if they will turn these locations into safe havens.”
Baal slammed his fist on the table. “Fuck that. We cannot allow this to slide. We need to immediately attack their fortifications.”
Beelzebub nodded. “I agree. They are trying to reduce our opportunities for incursions, no matter how big or small. We will not be thwarted at our own game. Where are they building one currently?”
Dartmus glanced at Baal to make sure it was okay to give the information to Beelzebub. Baal nodded. “Right. They are currently building the new one in Taipei. It’s only partially completed at this point.”
Baal turned to the map and slammed his finger on Taipei. “Fine. Let’s put the brakes on that. For this one, no infected humans. We need badass ball-busting demons.”
Beelzebub chuckled and rubbed his hands together maniacally. “Oh, that is one thing I am very good at finding.”
Both Baal and Dartmus were silent, glancing at each other. Baal finally took a deep breath and started rolling up the map. “You know it’s creepy when you do that, right?”
Beelzebub frowned. “Really? Too much?”
Baal nodded. “Just a tad. It’s more, ‘I drive a conversion van,’ than evil or maniacal.”
Beelzebub nodded. “I’ll work on that. In the meantime, let’s kick some sense into those assholes.”
Colonel Jehovivich stood in front of the general’s secretary, waiting to be called into his office. She tugged down on the front of her jacket and took a deep breath. It had been quite a long time since she had seen him, and although she was excited, she was also nervous. He had been her mentor for years, and when she left,
she thought it would be better for her mind and her career. Things didn’t always go as planned, but either way, she wasn’t there for that.
The secretary hung up the phone and nodded at the colonel. “Go ahead in. He is expecting you.”
Jehovivich smiled and nodded. “Perfect, thank you.”
She opened the door and stepped inside, immediately remembering how many times a day she used to do just that. General Brushwood stood up and put out his arms, welcoming her in. “Colonel, it’s so good to see you, even under these conditions. Please come in and have a seat.”
Jehovivich smiled, walking over and sitting down in the seat across from his desk. “It’s good to see you too, General. I have to admit, you look a bit tired.”
The general grumped. “I haven’t been home in days. I took a nap in my quarters here, but I got woken up for another incursion. How is your new duty station?”
The colonel chuckled. “Well, I thought I would be put to work on the rest of the world’s happenings, but it seems I’m right back in the thick of things with the demons. I will serve my country any way they see fit, though.”
The general smiled. “I never doubted it. So, what brings you to my office today?”
The colonel took a deep breath and put her hands in her lap. “I wish this were just a friendly visit. God knows I haven’t done that enough, and I’m sorry about that. It’s been crazy busy. The law department is up as much as you are.”
The general nodded. “I knew with your legal background and education, you were wasting your resources here with me. I hate to hear you are here for dire reasons, though.”
The colonel pulled out a piece of paper and slid it across his desk. “I really shouldn’t even be here, but I felt it necessary when I got a call about the DDF.”
The general cringed, pulling his reading glasses from his pocket. “I just heard they existed from the French representative over the phone. It’s like I’m not even part of the Council anymore. It’s fucking frustrating, is what it is.”
Jehovivich took a deep breath. “When you called me yesterday asking about them, I knew something was going on. I figured you were on top of all that. I didn’t realize everything had gone down like it had with Katie, and you were left holding the bag like a villain. And I know you aren’t. I know everything you do is for a good reason.”
The general scanned the paper and leaned back. “At least I try to make it that way. So, tell me a little bit more about this DDF.”
Jehovivich put the paper back in her bag. “They are the Demonic Defense Force. They are, as you have probably figured out, a new part of the World Council. I have dug and dug, but I haven’t been able to figure out who is behind their creation. None of the leaders want to take responsibility for them, and there have been mentions of a lawyer who doesn’t work for us or for any of the other countries.”
The general’s lip twitched. “Yes, I hit that roadblock as well when I first heard about him snooping around and talking to leaders.”
Jehovivich pursed her lips. “Yeah, I can’t get a straight answer out of anyone. And what is strange to me is even after them finding out this so-called lawyer wasn’t with any governmental entity or linked to any of the Council members, they still backed the DDF. They were very shady about it, too.”
The general took off his glasses and tossed them on his desk. “Well, I figure we will just have to see how this plays out. With so many incursions, we are bound to run into them at some point, and I’m in the process of figuring out how to get their battles documented. Black ops or not, there is always a paper trail. Even if it is burned in the end, it exists for a reason.”
Jehovivich shrugged. “You would think, but so far they’ve been like ghosts. But here’s the thing…I didn’t really come all the way down here today for just that information.”
The general closed his eyes. “Here it comes. Hit me with it. Whatever it is can’t be that bad compared to what is going on out in the streets.”
The colonel cleared her throat nervously. “I received word this morning that I have been assigned to a case by the World Council.”
The general opened his eyes and leaned forward. “What case?”
The colonel took out another paper and slid it across to him. There was a picture of Katie on the front of it. “I’ve been assigned to Katie. They have told me that if Katie travels outside the US for any reason without their consent, she may be brought up on charges. And with the vibe I’m getting about their hatred toward her for whatever reason, I know they won’t hesitate. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re counting on it, and monitoring her as best they can. This isn’t a slap on the wrist, General. She would be charged with violating international treaties. That is prison time, all the way up to the death penalty. They have also considered waiving the rules and allowing whatever country she goes to to have the right to dole out the punishment and the sentencing. This is serious.”
14
Juntto walked into the last day of the E-Sports convention less jubilant than the days before. Angie noticed, but she figured it was only that his concentration was flagging. When they entered the playing arena, his team was standing to the side, and they perked up when they entered. They were a mixture of scared and excited, and Angie wasn’t sure if those emotions were focused on the game or Juntto. Either way, they were there and ready.
Without much conversation, the team took their places, putting on their headsets and giving each other thumbs-ups. Angie looked at Juntto, but he was staring at his screen. She could feel a twinge in her chest, and she wondered if bringing him there hadn’t been right to begin with. She shook it off, forcing herself to focus on the game at hand. They were playing the final round of DOTA 2 since they had made it all the way to the end.
The other team, comprised of five tweens, had matching shirts, top-of-the-line headsets, and even seemed to move in unison, both in the game and in real life. Angie knew that if she was any younger, she might be intimidated by that, which made her concerned for the team. Luckily, they were prepared, and each of the other three put on sunglasses to block out the glare on the screens and went into focus mode.
They battled their way through level after level, advancing just in the nick of time. The other team was definitely giving them a run for their money. They seemed to realize that about the same time Angie did, and suddenly they were playing much more aggressively.
All they needed to do was get one player to the end, so their team began sacrificing themselves to push Juntto forward. One after another they died, leaving Juntto alone on the controls. The team gathered around Angie and watched on the big screen as Juntto smashed through the other players. His focus was impeccable, and the other team was struggling to keep it together when only one of them was left.
This was the defining moment of the entire competition. Would Juntto be able to keep his focus long enough to beat a kid who had obviously had DOTA on the brain in the womb?
Angie leaned forward nervously, watching Juntto smashing keys on the computer. As he reached the end of the last level, he violently battled the boss. The other team’s last player died and Juntto stood up, pressing the keys with one hand and throwing a fist up with the other. As the boss died on the screen, the entire team threw up their arms and ran toward Juntto.
Bells sounded, and their team was crowned the victors. Juntto pumped his fist and walked toward the other team, his guys behind him. “You must practice more to compete with the likes of us. We are warriors.”
The rest of his team, minus Angie, chimed in.
“Yeah, go back to preschool.”
“Cry to your mommy.”
“We are Warriors, bitcheeesss.”
Angie walked up to Juntto and nodded at the other team, who sat there with their heads low. “They are really sad.”
Juntto looked at them and frowned, seeing their dejection. He waved his hands at his team. “All right, that’s enough. We should be true warriors and thank them for the great battle. Let’
s all line up and shake hands.”
The guys fell into line with Juntto up front and Angie bringing up the rear. They went to the kids and congratulated them on making it that far. Although they all seemed incredibly intimidated by Juntto’s rhetoric, their faces changed, and they looked thankful for the praise. When the team was done, they went over to a corner and waited for the awards ceremony.
Coming through the arena were hundreds of convention-goers, all dressed up as different characters from their favorite games. One of Juntto’s teammates pointed to the crowd, jumping up and down. “It’s Ezio Auditore da Firenze from Assassin’s Creed!”
Everyone gasped at the meticulous costume and went running over, leaving Juntto and Angie by themselves in the corner. Juntto elbowed Angie. “You know, it’s the last day of the tournament, and our team is pretty awesome. I think I could get away with shapeshifting, at least a little bit in front of them. Give them a show. What do you think?”
Angie bit the inside of her cheek. “I mean, it’s definitely against our rules, but I don’t see how it could hurt. But just for those three, and take them into that side room to do it.”
Juntto clapped his hands excitedly and called the guys over. He took them into the small room, and Angie shut the door. “I want to show you something, but you have to swear never to tell a soul.”
The guys looked at each other, and the one in the front shrugged. “Who would we tell? All our friends are online.”
Juntto smiled. “Okay, watch this. Ultimate Cosplay.”
Juntto flexed his arms and began to grow, turning into his frost giant form. He was so tall that he had to bend not to hit his head on the ceiling. His skin was bright blue, and his hair flowed around his shoulders. It sparkled silver under the overhead fluorescents. All three of the guys stood silently for a moment with wide eyes, but finally, they all excitedly raced toward him.
“You’re that alien everyone has been saying died,” one of the guys suggested excitedly.