by Jenika Snow
“I know we need to talk, and I want you to know…” She swallowed, feeling so nervous. “I just want you to know that I won’t run from this, not like I did when I left you all those years ago.” She’d spit it all out, admitted to leaving him even though they both obviously knew she had. But saying those words out loud, and standing right in front of him as she did say them, somehow made it all very real.
He didn’t say anything for long seconds, but she saw the way he glanced down at her inner forearm. But this was Brendan, and that humiliation of what he was looking at didn’t slam into her like it did when others saw the scars. No, he’d seen her at her very worst, and she trusted him with her life, even now.
As the time ticked by, and his silence grew, she became even more nervous. She hated feeling this way, despite the fact they were in this awkward situation because of her and the past. Not even talking about the threat at hand, Bunny and Brendan had a history together, and she’d screwed it all up because she’d been too fucked in the head to understand a good thing when it was right in front of her.
But maybe this was her second chance? Maybe the danger she might be in, the situation that had her back in Tank’s life, was fate telling her she’d given up too easily? The past was the past, her father was dead, and she didn’t need to hold on to it anymore, right?
****
Fucking hell.
Tank leaned back on the bedroom door and closed his eyes. His hands were in tight fists at his side, his heart was beating hard and fast, and he knew what he felt for Bunny wasn’t just going to go away, wasn’t going to dim. He knew it wouldn’t have, though, and not just because she’d been all he thought about since she left. Seeing her just made what he felt for her even stronger, but he also knew she needed time. Shit wasn’t good right now, and not just because of Spike. When he looked in her eyes he still saw that vulnerable woman that he’d fallen in love with, that he’d kill for. He still saw the pain in her expression, and he hated that, was pissed that he couldn’t take it away from her.
With his eyes still shut the image of those cigarette burns on her inner forearms came through like someone ripping his heart out. Her fucking father had done that to her when she was younger, and Tank knew every time she looked at those circular scars she saw that motherfucker, lived through that pain again. But when they’d been together back in the day he’d seen that pain fade from her face, had seen the calmness move over her. It had been beautiful and wondrous. She’d made him feel alive, and he knew he’d given her a semblance of peace.
Pushing away from the door he walked down the hallway and stopped at one of the spare rooms. It used to be for one of the brothers to crash when they got too drunk, but Lila was using it as she and Faye stayed at the club. He knocked a few times, and when she opened the door he could see Faye on the bed, awake, her little arms above her head as she stretched out.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course,” Lila said and smiled, and although it was a genuine act, he could see the nervousness was still surrounding her. Tank hadn’t told his sister he’d gone after Bunny, and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe he didn’t want to get her hopes up that he’d find her, just in case something bad had gone down, but it had been easier than he’d thought, and now that both the women he loved more than anything were safe with the MC, he needed to let Lila know exactly what was going on and how things would work out.
He stepped inside and couldn’t help but smile as he looked at Faye.
“You want to hold her now?” Lila said with a laugh in her voice.
Looking at her, Tank found himself nodding despite the fact he was scared as hell. He walked over to the baby and sat on the edge of the bed, his hand starting to shake at the very thought of holding something so tiny and innocent in his hands. Lila picked up Faye and held her out to him. He took the baby, feeling tense, worried he’d drop her, that he’d fuck this up.
“You won’t drop her, Tank,” Lila said, smiling.
Had he said that shit out loud? Once he had the baby tucked in close to his chest, the sweet scent of powder rose up, having this relaxing effect on him. Faye had her eyes open, and her little mouth was in an O shape as she stared up at him. She had a little bit of dark hair, and he lifted the hand not cradling her head, and ran it over the silky soft strands. The hair felt like feathers beneath his fingers, and he smiled, knowing he’d protect this little girl until he drew his last breath.
No one better think of fucking with her.
“You look good holding her, Tank.”
He glanced up at Lila, and saw she had her hands clasped together in front of her chest. “I feel like I might break her.”
Lila shook her head. “No, you’re doing really good, big brother.”
He looked down at the baby again, and in a deep, but low voice he said, “I found Bunny.” It felt like the room stilled, like the pressure intensified. He set Faye in the center of the bed, and gently ran his fingers over her arm and down to her hand. She curled her fingers around one of his.
“Is she okay?”
He nodded and looked back at Lila. “I found her at her old man’s house.”
Lila knitted her brows. “I didn’t know she was staying there. The few times we spoke she never told me.”
“Well, she was there, and I brought her back here. She’s staying in my room down the hall.” Yeah, he’d set Bunny up in his room at the MC, because the truth was he wanted her around his things, and liked the fact she’d be sleeping in his bed, smelling like him, being safe.
“She’s here?” Lila asked, sounding stunned.
He nodded once. “She didn’t put up a fight, not really. I think she’s even more distant than she was all those years ago, Lila. I think the time that’s passed has fucked with her, isolated her.”
Lila nodded, the sorrow on her face, coming from her, intense. “I have to see her, Tank.”
“Yeah, I figured as much.”
“I’ll bring Faye. I think seeing the baby might make her feel better, too.”
He nodded and stood. “I’ll take you to see her.” He went to move past his sister, but she reached out and grabbed his arm. Tank looked over at her, seeing the sincerity in her face.
“I want to say thank you again for helping us, for going and getting Bunny. I know things were hard for you guys back in the day, but you’ve always been the most incredible person to us.”
He pulled Lila in for a hug, rested his chin on top of her head, and just stood there for several moments. “You don’t ever have to thank me for looking after you. I’ll always be there for you, Faye, and Bunny. There isn’t anyone that I’d let come between us, no matter what has happened or how much time has passed.”
“I know, but—”
“There isn’t anything else that needs to be said, especially since I know you’re going to try and blame yourself for this.” He pulled back and looked down at his sister. “You’re my family, my blood, Lila, and no matter what I will take care of you.”
She smiled, and he leaned down and kissed her on top of the head. “Let’s go see Bunny.”
She went and picked up Faye, wrapped her in a blanket, and when they left the room he kept her and the baby close to him. He trusted all of the men in the club, but they were drunk and partied hard, and he wanted to make sure his sister and niece were protected, even if it was from him. Once at his bedroom he knocked on the door, and a second later it was pulled open. Bunny stood on the other side, looking like she’d been crying. Everything in him wanted to pull her in for a hug, but he refrained, knowing she needed time. He couldn’t go declaring what he wanted with her when she’d just come back into his life, and especially because of this fucked up situation.
“Bunny,” Lila said, her voice choked up, her tears already falling. The two women embraced, and she saw Bunny was looking at Faye.
“Lila, you have a baby,” Bunny said, smiling and crying. Both women laughed softly, and Bunny moved to the side to let them in. But Tank stayed b
ack, leaning against the doorframe and watching the women he cared about so fucking much reconnect with each other. He knew they needed this, that with everything going on they were being pulled to the very last thread. But they were also strong, and he knew that they could get through anything.
Chapter Eight
They’d left the shitty house of Bunny—one of Lila’s friends, her only friend, as it were. But the house had been empty, the bitch gone, which was a shame seeing as he’d wanted a little fun with her. But they’d trashed the house, burned that fucker to the ground, sending a message that he knew would get back to whoever was holding Lila up. She couldn’t have gone too far, and when he found her he’d make sure she paid with blood and flesh. He’d make sure the bitch got what was coming to her.
“You seen this girl?” Spike held up the picture of Lila, trying to rein in his anger as the man looked at the image of his girl, the bitch that fucking ran off with his kid. Granted, he hadn’t wanted the screaming brat to begin with, but Lila shouldn’t have fucking left. Running did nothing but have the need to track and hunt her down rise up in him like an evil motherfucker. He’d make her see, in any way he saw fit, that she was his. He’d beat the shit out of her for doing this to him, for making him look like a motherfucker in front of his crew.
“Yeah, I saw her a few days ago.” The man nodded. “She had a baby with her.”
“Where was she headed?”
The man shook his head. “I can’t bring up records for another customer, sir.”
Spike had no patience. He grabbed his gun, cocked it, and placed the barrel right between the fucker’s eyes in a matter of seconds. “Last chance before I make your brains the new wallpaper.” The man started shaking, but nodded. It was late enough at the bus station that there weren’t many people around, but the few that were here made sure to look elsewhere.
The man started working on the computer, his hands shaking, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. Spike never removed the gun from between his eyes.
“She went to River Run.”
Spike pulled the gun back and grinned something grisly, a nonverbal threat to whoever was holding her up.
She went to see her fucking brother.
Spike bared his teeth, trying not to crush the photo in his grasp. It was the one and only picture he had of her, one that was taken when he’d first claimed her as his. Bitches didn’t leave him. Once he had them, claimed them, they were his. If they wanted out, it wasn’t going through the front door, but being put down like the fucking cunts they were.
Lila was his, and no fucking way she was going to walk away with his kid. If he couldn’t have her no one would.
“We’ll get her back.”
Spike looked at his brother, bared his teeth again, and turned and headed back to his bike. Yeah he’d find her, and when he did he’d show her that no one fucked with him.
****
“How are we going to do this?” Rook asked, looking at Tank. All the Brothers were sitting around the meeting table, Lucien at the head, looking focused, concentrated, and ready to do battle.
“What did the boys find out?” Malice and Pierce had stayed in Thorne for a day, scoping out Spike and his gang, seeing their movements, and if they were coming for Lila.
“They packed up shit and headed out. From where we were we couldn’t hear much, but they were carrying a shitload of guns, and half the gang rode out.”
Tank leaned back, not sure what the fuckers were up to, but having a good idea they were coming for Lila.
“They stopped at Bunny’s old man’s house before heading to the train station,” Malice said.
“I put a call into the other charters in the surrounding areas. They’re agreeable in coming to help us if we need them, but are tied up until Saturday. Let’s just hope nothing goes down before then.”
Tank might have thought he could have handled this all, but the truth was he was strongest with his club, with having them close, fighting right beside him. “We need to get this taken care of now. We won’t have time to wait for other charters, not if this Spike motherfucker is serious about hurting Lila and Bunny.” Tank curled his hands into fists.
Lucien nodded. “I know, and I agree, but we also need to be smart and safe.”
Tank breathed out and nodded. “I know, but this concerns my sister, my niece, and the woman I love.” There was a moment of silence after he spoke.
“She your old lady?” Tuck asked.
“I haven’t asked her, if that’s what you’re getting at, but she’s been mine for years.” He held the other man’s stare for a second. “I don’t need a title to know she’s mine.”
Damn, and it just went there with Bunny. She’s only just come back into your life.
Tuck nodded, accepting what Tank said. “We can hope it doesn’t come down to a full-on war.” Tuck was the one to speak, the man looking fierce. “But we’re ready if shit goes down that way.”
Bunny might not be his old lady, not claimed in that way to the club, at least, but she was still like family, and he fucking loved her. He always had. He’d known her for years, and he’d kill and die for her. Having them here, knowing they were safe within these walls, with these men watching over them, made Tank feel a hell of a lot better, no matter what they faced.
****
Bunny couldn’t sleep, not with her mind running a mile a minute. It had only been a few hours since Lila and Faye left the bedroom, and just thinking about that tiny little girl had her smiling, had this warmth filling her. Of course she hated the circumstance in which all this happened, but if anyone could keep Lila and the baby safe it was Brendan.
Tank. He’s not the same Brendan I knew all those years ago.
She still cared about him so much, and it made this so much harder, made fighting what she wanted hell.
But why are you fighting it?
They hadn’t spoken about anything concerning the past, and they needed to, because the truth was, she’d known how wrong it had been to leave all those years ago. She’d known Brendan had been what she needed in her life, but she’d been so damn afraid of it all. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, she stared into the darkness, the only light coming from underneath the door. Her belly was full, she’d taken a hot shower, and was in some oversized clothes Tank had given her—ones that smelled just like him—and she knew if she didn’t talk to him now it would eat her alive.
It was late, but she had a feeling he’d still be up, knowing without a doubt he was probably thinking about all the shit going on. Grabbing the thin blanket off the bed, she wrapped it around herself and opened the bedroom door. She could hear talking down the hall from the main room, even the semi-soft thumping from music. But she had no idea where to even find Tank in this place.
Just then a woman came stumbling out of a room, adjusting her top and skirt, and looking drunk as hell.
“Excuse me?” Bunny said softly.
The woman stopped and braced her hand on the wall. “What?”
“Can you tell me what room Bre—I mean Tank—is staying in?”
The woman didn’t speak for several seconds, but she finally straightened and moved closer. Eyeliner and mascara was smeared along one side of her face, and when she smiled she had a large gap between her teeth.
“You new club pussy or something?”
Bunny held in her disgust. “No, I’m just a friend of his.”
“Friend? Ain’t no pussy around here that’s ‘just friends’.” The door the woman had come out of opened, and a big, tatted up biker came out. He was zipping up his jeans and fixing his belt when he stopped and looked between them.
“Kat, get the fuck out of here. Go pass out or sober the hell up,” the man said, his voice deep. He stepped up to where Bunny stood, and she retreated.
“You looking for Tank?”
She nodded.
“I’m Ruin. I’ll take you to him.” He tipped his chin toward the main part of the club. They started walking, and he glanced
over his shoulder at her. “Don’t mind the club whores around here. Some are decent, but others are sluts and only here for some dick.”
His crude and gruff demeanor shouldn’t have been a surprise, not when she’d grown up around it with her father, and because Tank was on the hardened side. So, she just nodded and continued to follow him.
“But no one will fuck with you. You’re here for club protection, and anyone that tries to give you a hard time you just let one of the Brothers know.”
“I can take care of myself.”
He looked at her over his shoulder and eyed her up and down, but not in a sexual way. “I’m sure you can.” He grinned and then turned back around. He continued to lead her through the main room where everyone was still partying, and up a set of stairs. Once at the top she took a second to look down from the landing at the top of the stairs. A few people were looking at her, and one guy was even getting head while he watched her.
“He’s staying in this room since he gave you his.”
She faced Ruin. “He gave me his room?”
Ruin nodded and pointed to the door. It was the last one down the hallway. “I’ll leave you to it.” Ruin walked past her, and she watched him descend the stairs, feeling so nervous all of a sudden. Facing the door that Tank was behind, she smoothed her hands over her legs and breathed out of her mouth slowly.
Truth was she didn’t want to talk about all of this, about the past. She’d wanted to talk to him, explain it back then, but after she’d left she’d been humiliated, felt like a failure for running away from the only good thing in her life.
And it just took seeing him again for everything to come rushing back, for me to realize how much I missed him, how much I … love him. God, I am still so in love with him.
Whether he told her that he didn’t want her anymore, she needed to tell him how she felt, that even if she was scared she cared about him. It didn’t even matter if he’d moved on, which he had every right to. No, this was about her finding that closure, giving Tank the explanation he deserved.
He deserves more than a broken girl like you.