by Poppy Flynn
Ellie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get her thoughts - and her raging hormones - under control. It was one thing for them to fill up her subconscious at night, but to daydream about them too? And not just one of them either. Oh no, all her thoughts and fantasies featured each and every one of them equally. And more often than not, all at the same time. What kind of floozy did that make her, that she fantasized about three brothers together? She’d obviously been reading too many saucy books. Ellie was surprised she didn’t hear Gran's voice lecturing her on propriety. She usually had an opinion on everything else.
As her thoughts heated and became decidedly X-rated, she realized there was no way she was going to be able to face them at lunch after the way she’d been objectifying and fantasizing over the three of them. Better to wait until the coast was clear, so she didn’t embarrass herself again.
Damn it all, how did she get into these messes? Sometimes it seemed like life had just decided to bite her ass, and she sincerely felt like she was paying for someone else’s sins. Someone who had had all the fun, enjoyed all those sinful pleasures and then left her holding the bag.
‘Good things come to those who wait.’
Yeah, she should have figured Gran would have something to say about that kind of thinking. But how much did she have to go through to get her own happily ever after? She’d rebuilt her life when her parents died, in the way that only a child can do, by grasping and holding tight to the only home and family she had left in the world. And she had been beyond grateful for that. Knew it could have been so much worse.
But then Gran had been taken too, and with her the only home Ellie had known her entire adult life, leaving her with nothing but a few hundred dollars and a car that had seen better days. No family, no home, no financial security, no job, no work experience, no references.
No place in the world.
Ellie sighed and flopped back onto her bed. Was it really too much to ask for just a little bit of security? Not necessarily money, though god knew that would at least give her a leg up on the ladder that, right now, she wasn’t even on the bottom rung of. Just a home. That’s what she wanted more than anything else in her life. Somewhere she could call her own. Somewhere she might be appreciated. Somewhere she could at least try to build a life for herself. She had hoped it might be here.
She didn’t expect to be handed anything on a silver platter, or to wave a magic wand, not by any means. She was more than willing to work for it and work hard. But it would be a nice change if fate would just give hera break and stop knocking everything she picked up, right out of her hands repeatedly. That was getting old now, and she felt like she was losing the resilience to keep picking herself up and putting herself back together after another setback; another blow. In a lot of ways, she felt old before her time, but despite everything that had happened, she’d never been prone to feeling sorry for herself.
But as the thought of having to move on from here loomed large in her mind, a wave of melancholy swept through her.
She really didn’t have anywhere else to go. Not only that, but there was a pang right close to where she imagined her heart was at the thought of leaving behind Cody, Syrus and Ezra. It may have only been a few days, but she had been content looking after them, and her blood had surely run a little hotter… okay, a lot hotter, when she thought of them.
‘Then the world is your oyster, my girl, there are no ties to hold you back or hold you down. You can do anything you want to do.’
Ellie closed her eyes and smiled, even if it was a little sadly. She could always count on Gran to look at the bright side of things.
Now she just needed to believe it for herself.
Picking herself up and metaphorically dusting herself down one more time, Ellie collected up the mending and took it all downstairs.
She was surprised to find Carly in the sitting room for a change. She was sitting with a bandage around her ankle and had it raised up on a cushion while she read a gossip magazine.
“What have you got there?” she asked curiously.
Ellie looked down at the pile in her hand. “Oh, I just finished the mending, that’s all.”
“Well, you might as well give it here, now that it’s done.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you give it to me, and I’ll give it to the men when they get back.”
Ellie frowned and narrowed her eyes at the other girl. “Why would I want to do that? I’m just going to put it back in the laundry room. They’ll find it there.”
Carly looked like she was about to say more, but Sheri walked in at that moment.
“Lovely muffins you made for breakfast this morning, Ellie.”
“Umm… thanks,” she replied cautiously, slightly thrown by the change in subject.
“Here, let me take those for you.” Sheri grabbed for the pile of mending, and short of ending up in a tug-of-war tussle, there was little she could do but let go. But when Sheri promptly dumped the pile on Carly’s knee and handed her a small sewing kit, she was done with being polite.
“What the heck are you doing? I just told you I’d finished up all the mending.”
“So you did,” Carly replied with a smirk.
“But it’s hardly her fault if the men come back and see Carly with a sewing kit and assume that she did it herself, while she’s been laid up with her poor twisted ankle.”
“But, you…” Ellie blustered for a moment in pure shock at having her suspicions laid out in front of her.
“Just like it’s not Sheri’s fault that they all thanked her for breakfast this morning, just because she served them your muffins.”
Ellie bristled, her hands fisting. “You won’t get away with this,” she said between clenched teeth as indignation washed through and spiked her temper. “I’ll tell them the truth.”
“Oh, but it’s not as if we’ve told any lies for you to need to correct, Ellie.”
“But it’ll be your word against ours, won’t it… all three of ours against one of yours.”
Ellie pursed her lips together and bit her tongue. She sucked in a deep breath and turned on her heel. She was not going to get into any kind of slanging match with the two of them, and she suspected that was what they were angling for. Something else to make her look bad, as if them taking credit for her own hard work wasn’t enough.
She needed to get her head together and work out what to do with a clear mind.
She let the kitchen door slam shut behind her. It was a petty thing, but it took the edge off her rage. Heading for the stables, without so much as a glance at the black, boiling clouds in the sky, she looked in on Blaze like she’d promised Tono she would. The horse had a calming effect on her. Probably because the animal was so skittish that it forced Ellie into being calm in order to deal with her.
She slipped into the stall and waited for Blaze to get used to her presence, before she rubbed the horse’s nose.
“There, beautiful girl,” Ellie crooned, stroking down her flanks. She’d been making idle small talk with the horse for maybe five minutes before a loud clank sounded behind them and Blaze reared her head away and backed up a pace.
“Shh girl, it’s okay. Nothing to be scared of.”
Except right at that moment, a massive clap of thunder rent the air and Blaze reared up in terror.
Ellie duckedmanaged to duck out of the way a second before the startled horse’s hooves clattered down right where Ellie had been standing.
Heart thumping wildly, Ellie pressed into the corner and thanked god that the foaling stall was a generous size. Still, she wasn’t going to push her luck. She could still try to keep Blaze calm, but she’d do it with the safety of the stable door between them.
Looking around for the first time since she’d come in here, Ellie realized just how dark it had become. The main doors to the stable were still wide open and one of them clanged and banged as the wind battered it backwards and forwards and howled fiercely through the
opening.
The keening whistle of the wind through the rafters set Blaze off again, and Ellie inched slowly towards the entrance, not wanting to agitate the pregnant mare any further.
She pushed on the top bars of the split door, which had swung closed. Had the wind done that? Ellie frowned when the bars wouldn’t budge. What the heck?
She pushed again, then pulled and rattled them a little bit as an instant of panic set in.
Blaze took offence to both the noise and the frantic motion and butted her none too gently between the shoulder blades.
Ellie stood to the side for a moment to allow them both to calm. She tried to think things through rationally. The latch couldn’t have fallen closed on its own, because it was far too stiff. She must be pulling it the wrong way… except she’d done both, hadn’t she? And besides, the door opened outwards. The doors always opened outwards. Feeling panic start to build in a bubble in her chest, Ellie took a deep breath and, waiting for a lull in the blustery weather, went back to the bars to try again.
Nothing. She pushed with all her might, but nothing gave even slightly. The door was well and truly latched in place, except that wasn’t possible, unless…
Ellie didn’t want her mind to go there. Didn’t want to imagine that someone might have deliberately locked her in with a potentially dangerous animal, just when a storm was brewing.
Peering through the bars, she tried to see the latch, but couldn’t get a clear visual. She squeezed her hand through the bars to see if she could grasp it, but she simply couldn’t reach.
The stables brightened up just for a moment as flashes of lightening lit the sky outside the door. Blaze’s ears were almost flattened against her head in terror, and she pawed the ground in obvious agitation.
Knowing that it was about to thunder again, Ellie pressed her back against the wall and made minute, shuffling movements to the side, trying to steer clear of all the horse’s hooves. She might rear or she might kick, and either could be fatal for a person in the wrong place at the wrong time. And this most definitely qualified as both.
Suddenly Ellie thought she heard voices shouting above the noise of the wind and the rain that had just started a hammering downpour against the corrugated tin roof. She strained to hear, scared to get too close to the door in case Blaze reared again. Did she dare to shout, knowing that the horse would freak out, especially with Ellie being stood right next to her.
She’d just built up the courage - because it was a better option than being trapped with a skittish horse all night - but when she opened her mouth nothing came out but a broken rasp.
Tears build up in her eyes, and she blinked them away in annoyance. She cleared her throat and swallowed to try and lubricate it a little before she tried again, but before she could it was like the horse spoke for her.
Blaze let out a noisy, snorting whinny and kicked her hoofs against the wooden door, making it rattle.
Ellie could hear the voices coming closer. Were they coming to check on the horses? She hoped and prayed that they were.
A moment later, the stiff latch gave way and Ellie shot out of the stall like a bullet and bounded straight into the solid wall of Cody’s chest. She might have bounced off if he hadn’t caught and steadied her.
“What in hell’s name? Ezra, get the horse…”
Ellie was barely aware of the other Carson brother gently leading the mare into a smaller, quieter stall after harnessing her with a lead rope; she was too busy trembling like a leaf and burrowing her head into Cody’s neck.
His strong arms tightened around her and made her feel blessedly safe, but it didn’t stop the tears.
They were tears of relief, she told herself as she sucked in great big lungful’s of air and tried to get her erratic breathing under control.
“What the heck were you doing in there, Ellie?” he asked, shock stilting the usual velvet drawl of his voice.
“I… I…” She hiccupped. “S-Someone shut… someoneshutmein!” The words all ran together into unintelligible nonsense, but the feel of Cody’s warm hands rubbing and stroking her back, soothed her soul. In the circle of his arms, she felt like nothing could ever hurt her.
He ran his fingers over her hair and held her close, his breath warm against her skin as he hushed and settled her.
When she finally came back to herself, she thought she felt his lips feather against her forehead and down to her temple.
Then the moment was broken - story of her life - as Cora’s voice, shouting urgently for Cody, broke through the dimness of the stormy evening.
Chapter Eight
It was the following day when things really started to come into sharp focus for Ellie.
She had stumbled her way back into the house after Cody was called away for an important phone call. One that had been short-lived, since no one had been on the other end of the line when she walked in, drenched to the skin and shaking from a combination of cold and fright. Obviously the storm had knocked out the call.
Or had it?
“Someone shut me in,” she whispered hoarsely to the room as she dripped and puddled all over the floor.
There was dead silence for a moment, then Syrus broke the strained tension that had seeped into the room and had nothing to do with the storm.
“I’m sure you must be mistaken, Ellie,” he said earnestly. “No one would do such a dangerous thing.”
She looked from the items he was holding in his hands, recognized one of the shirts she had repaired and looked to Carly, who was sitting smugly at the table now, next to where he stood, sewing kit still in hand.
Her eyes hardened. “I’m sure you know just how stiff that latch is,” she retorted in a voice that still held a tremble, although this time there was a good dose of anger mixed in.
Syrus gave her a look that bordered on pity, and when she looked across at Cody, she found the same expression mirrored in his own eyes. They didn’t believe her… or at least; they didn’t believe that either Cora, Carly, or Sheri could be that duplicitous.
A gust of wind swept through the room as an equally sodden Ezra opened the door and then tackled it closed again.
“Did you get Blaze secured?”
And just like that, she was forgotten.
Turning away, Ellie had dripped her way across the hallway and up the stairs. She thought she might have heard her name called, but she’d switched off by now. She was too cold and wet and suffering from the aftereffects of being half scared to death. Her teeth chattered and her limbs were stiff, so she trudged straight into the bathroom, not sure she had the energy left for another set of stairs.
She got right into the shower, not caring that, once again, she didn’t have a change of clothes. She stayed right there under the spray, willing the water to warm her up and wash away the bitter tang of disappointment and disillusionment and the not inconsiderable ball of grief and anger that threatened to swamp her.
Except she’d been too exhausted to exercise any of the anger. When she was done in the shower she simply felt wrung out and she’d slunk up the stairs to her attic room, collapsed into bed and tried not to cry herself to sleep.
Why had Gran had to leave her like this? It wasn’t fair! She missed her so very much. More, almost, than her parents who she didn’t remember so clearly. She could hear Gran's voice bridging the gap between sorrow and sleep saying, ‘Come on now, girlie, a hug and a positive attitude will make everything better’, and she just wanted to pluck Gran out of her dreams and be hugged for real.
She missed having someone who cared. Someone who could make everything better just by holding her.
‘To appreciate true happiness, you must first have experienced true loss and sadness, otherwise, how would you know the difference and understand the value?’
Well, from now on, maybe a few other people were hopefully going to understand the value and appreciate the difference in the way things worked around here if she wasn’t doing them.
She didn’t bother ma
king breakfast the next morning. They could all just fend for themselves. She wasn’t going to make dinner either, although that decision brought with it a twinge of guilt since she knew the men were out herding the cattle today, after yesterday’s storm, so they’d be returning tired and hungry.
She determinedly reminded herself that there were three other women in the house. One of them could do the work for a change, instead of just taking the credit for the things that Ellie did herself.
Instead, after a quick breakfast of toast and honey, she gathered up her tiny tin of fish-hooks and line and walked down to the creek.
The ranch house stood close to where the East and West branches joined the South Fork Big Creek, and the ranch held fishing rights to all the waters that ran through their property. Ellie didn’t really know that much about fishing, but she knew that if you dangled a line with a worm on a hook, you could usually catch something worthwhile.
As she grubbed for worms and dumped her finds in the jam jar she’d brought with her, she couldn’t help the little snigger that escaped when she thought about the trifecta trying to take credit for what she was doing now. Nope! This was one thing that would never wash. The thought perked her up considerably.
She spent a contented couple of hours by the side of the creek, dangling her hook, soaking up the sun, enjoying the fresh washed scent that yesterday’s storm had left behind and luring in a decent catch. Enough to feed everybody, at least. She kept them contained in a drawstring mesh bag which doubled as a keep net and a carrier when she was finished.
Walking back through the yard, she eyed the stables with a wary gaze.
‘If you fall off a horse, you should jump back in the saddle straight away.’
She could hear Gran’s voice loud and clear as if she was standing right there next to her.
“Except I didn’t fall off the damn horse,” Ellie mumbled to herself, even though she knew it was just an idiom. Then she shook her head at the ridiculousness of it and took off towards the stable. Gran, or her conscience, or the devil on her shoulder, or whatever you wanted to call it, was right. It would only be more difficult if she allowed irrational fears to get the better of her. There had been many extraneous circumstances to yesterday’s ordeal, and they weren’t likely to converge a second time.