“Well, they actually are in a different line of business.” I looked to April, wondering if I should be telling this much detail about my life. It made it more realistic, but I wasn’t ready to have my book opened. I got over that quick. I was here on work. I had to do my job. “They have significant interest in a casino in Vegas. That’s where we are from.”
“And what about your mother?”
I didn’t want to say they were divorced. That would ruin the magic of my allure. I decided it was for the best to talk about my parents in the most positive light, even if it was lying. “My mom helps him.”
In reality she wanted nothing to do with my dad. After he was having another kid, she would refuse to be in the same room with him. She thought it was gross. She shamed him every time they had to meet. I couldn’t say any of that. I had to paint a dazzling picket fence life.
“Which casino is it?” Her dad asked.
“Are you a card player?” I asked, trying to detour their questions. I didn’t want to give too much info away.
“Not at all. I dabble with friends, but I wouldn’t dare try professionally.”
“Enough.” Her mom said. She lightly slapped his thigh. “Which casino was it, Grant?”
“It’s called Oasis. It has an Egyptian theme. It’s sort of corny. My dad was inspired by Indiana Jones. It was fun to run around there when I was a kid.”
“I’m sure.” She finished her drink. “I have actually heard of this casino. Isn’t it a hotel as well?”
“Yes actually.”
“Did you have any siblings to run around with you?”
This whole while April was paying attention to me. I could tell she liked having them off her back. I was fine with the questions, but I could see how she was exhausted by them. “I have a few older brothers.”
“Are they in the casino business too?”
“Not quite. Actually my oldest brother just opened up a new hotel.”
“That’s exciting. Do you get to go for free?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask.” I assumed that I would. I don’t think my brother would care too much for me visiting, though. Not when he was up to his ears with paperwork for the new building.
“Maybe you can take April on a little trip.” April flushed. Her mom kept talking. “Where is it at?”
“It’s in Seattle.”
“Wouldn’t you like that, honey? That would be fun.” Her mom finally addressed April. She was spacing off a bit, but turned her head quickly towards her mother.
“Yeah, that would be nice. I don’t want to barge, though.” She said. I could tell she was treating it as a real proposition. I wondered if I could actually convince her to go somewhere with me.
“It wouldn’t be barging at all. I’d love to have your company.” We made eye contact, locking our eyes for a while. I meant it. I genuinely did. I wanted to tour the world, holding her on a pedestal. She was gorgeous and smart. I couldn’t stop thinking about her when she left the room. When she was getting ready for tonight, I sat outside the bathroom, waiting to surprise her.
Her mom chimed back in, asking me more and more questions about my life. She was like a detective, trying to pin down every second of my life. April went back to spacing off as I answered the questions. I wondered what she was thinking about. Was she remembering earlier, holding onto the moment as much as I was?
Not much more time had passed before April’s mom began to talk to her dad. They talked about Vegas and the last time they went there. I started to tune them out, paying more attention to April. I could tell something was distracting her, and she looked a little bothered. I didn’t know what by. I squeezed her hand in mine, hoping it would let her know that it was going to be okay.
The room was beginning to fill with more people. It was getting harder and harder to hear April’s parents. I didn’t mind it. I liked having some time to think. I wondered if April wanted to go on the trip. Her hesitation could have been genuine too. It was hard to tell what she really wanted from me. I knew we had something, but I didn’t know how long she would let the fling last.
She seemed totally uninterested in Tom now. She didn’t look at him once this whole time. I kept my eye on them, though. I waited for him to swoop in like a hawk, trying to take her as his prey. He seemed so conflicted about his relationship. I wasn’t about to let him make mine more complicated than it already was.
I wanted April to be happy, but I knew he was no good for her. I think she knew that, too. She had been cold to him this morning, and you could tell there was still some resentment to him. It wasn’t her fault. He shouldn’t have been a dick to her. If I weren’t here to wow everyone, I probably would have given him a piece of my mind. The closest I could come now is bragging about April and I’s pretend happy life. It was enough for me.
It started to give me actual thoughts about our future, too. I wanted to keep her around. I wanted to help her through her tough time. I wanted to show her that she was more important than she felt, that she could achieve much more. April needed to feel valuable, and even though she was becoming more confident, you could tell she was still embarrassed and disappointed in herself. I didn’t know if she got that from her parent’s high expectations, or from Tom’s good fortune but it didn’t matter to me. And it shouldn’t matter to her. This was her life, and they didn’t have to be involved if they were just bringing her down.
Her mom began to talk to me again about Vegas. She talked about how she missed the city. She asked me for all kinds of stories, wanting to know the craziest things that had happened. I kept my eye on April as I spoke, and April seemed invested. She laughed when the stories were funny and looked at me to show interest.
The music started up. I tried talking over it, but it proved to be difficult. As more and more people filtered in the room, the louder the music became and the more isolated I felt. Even just sitting here was making me feel antsy. Normally I was good with weddings and wedding parties, but I was becoming restless. I wanted to talk to April more. I wanted to figure out what was wrong, and I wanted to take her upstairs and escape all these people.
But that wasn’t going to happen. The party hadn’t even started yet. I sat back and talked more and more about Vegas. I hoped that it made April interested. I would love to have her over. I could take her all over the town. She was the only female who I was close to that didn’t have grey roots. I was smitten. She was very different. She had the potential to grow. She just needed someone to show her that. I would happily be that person.
21
April
I was pretty nervous. Lucky for me, Grant was doing all the talking. If I spoke, I knew that I would have a panic attack. I didn’t think I could handle this. It was a lot to go through, and adrenaline coursed through my veins. I could use a drink. Maybe five. Grant kept talking to my mom, keeping her tamed and away from asking me about life and work and death. The way Grant spoke was reassuring. I didn’t want him to be gone after this weekend. I knew we had so much more than we were accepting.
The chatter rose and I kept spacing out. I was still flustered from before. I had never had a guy that was so good at making me climax. I tried not to think about it too much. When I did, it just reminded me of his line of work. I didn’t want to think about how many women he had been with. I didn’t want to think about why he did what he did. I just wanted to think about him as a person, the hedge fund owner that was wowing my parents.
Tom began approaching our table. My pulse rose, my hands became clammy. I removed them from Grant’s intertwined fingers for the first time since we left the room. “Oh no.” I whispered. Grant looked at him approaching and let out a deep breath. He went back to speaking to my parents, making my mom laugh, and telling her about all the great adventures he had had in Vegas.
I wanted to put on an invisibility shield. I wanted Tom to just leave me alone. He didn’t seem to care or think so. He jogged over to our table and greeted everyone. “April, could I pull you asid
e for a second?”
“Fine.” I got up and pushed my chair back in. I leaned over to Grant. “I’ll only be a moment. Save me if I am gone for too long.”
“You’ll be fine. Take your time.” I wanted Grant to come with. He could be a body guard for my heart. Tom was just going to toy with me and disappoint me. He seemed to love doing that. I began picking at my fingers, walking behind Tom to a secluded part of the room where it was a bit quieter.
“What?”
“I just wanted to talk to you. I didn’t get to say that much this morning.” He flushed. I knew he knew that I didn’t want to be there, trapped with him in the corner of the room. I had no choice. It was his party. “So, you two seem pretty happy.”
“We are. You seem happy as well.”
“Do I?” This sounded like an actual question, not like the snide remarks that I expected from him.
“Yes. Congratulations. She is gorgeous.”
“Thank you.” There was a lull in the speaking. I kept my arms crossed. It grew awkward, but I had nothing to respond with. I wasn’t the one that asked for the conversation. I didn’t want to be here to begin with. This wasn’t on me. “To be honest, I’m not really sure I want to go through with this.”
I was surprised to hear it. It hurt me. I couldn’t believe him. Did marriage mean nothing? First me, and now that hottie? I didn’t know her, but she seemed like a very nice girl. “Oh? Calling off weddings is too much fun for you?”
“What was that?” He genuinely didn’t hear me.
“I said why do you want to call it off?”
He paused and looked at his bride to be for a bit. “I don’t know if I do want to call it off. I just don’t know if I am ready yet.” This was typical Tom. He could never commit to anything. I saw how confused he was. I felt bad, but I didn’t know how to help him. This was some much deeper issue that I didn’t have enough experience to help with.
“Then you shouldn’t have proposed.”
“Yeah. Well. It was complicated.”
I saw the crack in his perfect life. The foundation to his hard exterior was faltering and I was here to see it crumble. His eyes grew wet. He stopped talking. “What’s going on?” I became more concerned the more his brows furrowed. He was really having a difficult time.
After a second he took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I was pressured into this sort of. Or, at least I feel pressured. I don’t know.”
“Oh. That’s not good. You two seem so happy, though. What’s the problem?” he seemed so in love and ready to marry her when he spammed my timeline with photos and posts about her all the time. It was as if nothing else went on in his life. Just the thrill and excitement of expensive vacations with one of the prettiest girls in California.
“When I asked her to marry me, I did it out of necessity.” He was still hesitant to tell me. What did that mean? Did he feel the same way when he proposed to me? Like I needed it for reassurance? I had actually loved him. When I said yes it was because I had thought about spending the rest of my life with him years before he showed me a ring. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to have to coach him through his wedding after he shattered me before mine.
“What do you mean?”
“She said that she was pregnant.” He dropped the bomb. I didn’t want to hear that. He had always been so careful. I couldn’t imagine him not using protection. Even when I was on the pill he would use it, just in case. He was never ready to be responsible for another person. That was an even bigger commitment than marriage. “I couldn’t have that happen. I loved her enough that I thought it could work, but now she isn’t pregnant anymore. I don’t know if she ever was. But I can’t go back on it, because then our parents will ask. My mom and dad were already furious at me when we….”
“Yeah.” He didn’t have to say anything. I knew. I had loved his parents like they were my own. They treated me like family. I was certain that I was going to become family. They must have felt the same way. I wondered if they liked her as much as they liked me. I wondered if they were just being nice to me. They were such sweet people, Tom could have brought in a homeless person and they would be head over heels for them.
“But you seem to be having such a great time with Grant that I wanted your advice. What keeps you two going? I know it’s probably early in your relationship, but I have to wonder. Are you two doing well?” The way he said it made me feel like he had other motives. He looked at me with hope. It made me even sicker.
I thought about his question. I wanted to help Tom, but at the same time I didn’t want him to feel like he could stomp me until I was a pulp of a person. He had already caused enough emotional damage. I didn’t need to become his relationship therapist for this one. And I didn’t want to become his rebound. I didn’t want him anymore.
“Love.” I said. I stopped picking my fingers.
“Genuine, unfaltering love. He and I may have difficult times, sure. But even when we fight, we keep what’s important in our thoughts. We just want to be happy with each other, no matter what it takes. I have never felt such a powerful amount of emotion for one person. I am in love like never before.” I could see the daggers I threw at him cut him.
“When we make decisions, we know that it is because we want to, and not because we feel like we have to. We love each other.”
I looked over to Grant. He was still chatting with my mom, making her and my father laugh. I wasn’t in love, not yet. But I could see myself falling for him. I looked back at Tom, the person I used to love. I knew all his strengths and weaknesses. I had been with him through thick and thin. When I looked at him now I didn’t feel anything. When I looked at Grant, I could feel sparks.
“I don’t know if she and I have that.”
“You better find out soon. It’s about to become legally recognized.” I did have some pity on him. It would be hard to be stuck in a relationship without love. It would be hard to be stuck in a relationship period. Without love, he would become bitter and either have to get a divorce or stay unhappily married if he waited too long.
“You guys do so many fun things, though. I wouldn’t have guessed you weren’t happy. Your Instagram streams are flooded with smiles and what seems like exotic vacations. How do you know it isn’t just cold feet?”
“I don’t know that. But there are a lot of issues, too. Those have been there for a while.”
“Well, I’m not a therapist. But if you want help, there are people out there that can help you.” The party began, and people at the front started giving speeches for the two of them. Tom listened intently. I looked for his fiancée. She was sitting at the front, looking for Tom. “You should go stand by her at least.” I said.
“I’m fine back here.” He still listened. A lot of her friends spoke, saying that they couldn’t have asked for a better guy for the bride. He would clap and laugh when appropriate, but I could see the pain in his eyes. This was one battle that I didn’t have to help him through.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Grant get up. He came over to us and said hi to Tom. Tom said hi back and went back to listening to the speeches, but he watched us out of his peripherals. Grant smiled at me.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close to him. I looked into his eyes. I saw a man. More man than Tom. I saw someone who wanted to make others happy. I saw someone who did things for other people not because he had to, but because he wanted to. I saw someone that I wanted to keep seeing over and over again.
He was being very understanding about Tom. I appreciated that so much. He no longer actually needed to be here with me, but he chose to. It was nice to have someone with me to fight this battle. I was lucky that it was Grant. He noticed me staring and smiled back.
“Hey.” He said, again.
“Hi.” I repeated. I was falling for him. How could I not fall for him? He was kind, dashing, and he had already won over my parents. This was the easiest relationsh
ip I had ever been in. I wanted it to last. I wanted to rub my happiness in Tom’s face.
Grant excused us and we went back to the table. He ordered a couple drinks, sensing that me talking to Tom wasn’t what I had wanted to do. He asked me multiple times to make sure I was okay. I was. I felt better for sticking it to Tom. I felt better that his life wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. It made me feel less awful about mine. It gave me hope. Maybe everyone was going through pretty shitty times. It didn’t just have to be me.
All of the bride’s family and friends were beautiful too. They were the majority of the people who spoke that night. I recognized a few of Tom’s friends, but most of these people were strangers to me. It seemed like he had started a new life with her, and had a clean slate after me.
I grabbed Grant’s hand and then excused us again from the table. The party wasn’t over, but I was done with it. I pulled him back to the room.
22
Grant
After talking to Tom, April was more and more interested in me. I was so relieved. I was worried that he would try to win her back. I’m glad he didn’t. When we got back to the room she immediately kicked off her shoes and led me to the bed. My pulse was racing again. I was so thrown back by her abrasiveness that it gave me butterflies. I felt cheery and I also kicked off my shoes.
She pulled me in by my neck, kissing me. She tasted like cherries. She was lovely. I began to pull at my belt, but she took my hands and gently rested them on her waist. She was so soft. I wanted to shock her. I was going to. I was going to drive her wild.
I grabbed at her waist and leaned over her again. I kissed and kissed, my heart racing more and more. As it went on, I began to kiss her faster and harder. She gasped under the kisses. I moved my hands to her back and let my tongue into her mouth, twirling it over and over around hers. She sighed.
I wanted her so bad. I wanted her now. I was going to have to make it last, though. I was going to milk every minute of this, enjoying all of her body. She was so curvy. She was hot. I pulled at my belt again, this time getting it out of my pants.
Auctioned to Him Book 8 Page 87