by Lori Wilde
Two minutes.
One.
Thirty seconds.
A breath.
A heartbeat.
And then he was there. Her front porch boards creaked underneath his weight. The lights were out. Windows dark and shuttered. They stared at him like vacant eyes, dull and challenging. Filling him with an impending sense of dread.
All the hope that had gotten him this far vanished and doubt set in.
Did she still want him? What if she turned him down? Had he let it go too long? Had she fallen out of love with him? What would he say? How did he start to mend things?
He should go. Come back in the morning. Things would look brighter in daylight.
Why the hesitation?
Only a brief while ago he was running to get here. Breathless and anxious and excited and ready, oh so damned ready to have her in his arms again.
But doubt, that sneaky villain, crept in, whispered poisonous words. Telling him she was better off without him.
No. He was not going to let fear of intimacy chase him away again. Not now. Not when he’d come so far. He couldn’t live one more minute without her in his life.
The woman inside that house was important. The most important thing in the world. Without Kaia, he had no world. She was his sun and his moon and his stars. She was the air he breathed. The water he drank. The soil beneath his feet. The burning fire in his heart.
One word from her lips would save his life. One sweet word.
Yes.
But what if she said no?
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, balled them into hard knots to keep them from trembling. His blood rushed through his veins and his heart throbbed. A hard, steady ka-pow, ka-pow.
It was quiet. Too quiet. No dogs raising the alarm.
Then he thought of something truly horrible. What if she had moved on? What if she’d cleared out the pets because she had overnight company? What if she had a man in there with her?
Ah damn. Ah shit. He’d not even thought about that.
Go! Just go. Leave. Call first.
But he did not. Ridge took that last step. Onto the welcome mat with a puppy’s face on it. Raised his hand to the door. Rapped.
Quick.
Staccato.
Let me in. Let me in.
He waited. Held his breath.
Listened. Heard nothing.
Knocked again. Cocked his head, listened harder.
Was that the sound of socked feet padding toward the door? The porch light came on, bathing him in a halo of yellow.
Air leaked slowly from his lungs.
The door opened and there she stood in her oversized Minnie Mouse sleep shirt. Even in the dim light, she looked beautiful, the fall of dark hair framing her dear face.
A face he’d seen in his dreams every night since he’d left. Her deep ebony eyes looked surprised, but lurking beneath the surprise, was that joy? Her gaze latched onto his and she flicked out her tongue to touch it to her full lush lips. Lips he’d desperately missed kissing. Moisture clung to her mouth, glistened with warmth and invitation.
As if he’d just seen her that very morning, Ridge said casually, “Hey.”
For an eternal second she just stood there, not smiling, not talking, not moving, simply taking him in. Waking up to the moment, shrugging off sleep.
Then, with a voice as heavenly as harp music, she whispered on a sigh, “Ridge?”
He wasn’t even aware he’d opened his arms wide until she rushed into them and flung her arms around his neck and buried her face against his shoulder. Her whispers turned to whimpers as she kept repeating, “Ridge, Ridge, Ridge.”
Chest aching with emotion, he wrapped his arms around her waist, squeezing her against his chest. Held her. Just held and squeezed her as hard as he could without cutting off her breath.
She pushed against him, made hungry noises.
“Kaia.”
In a frenzy, their mouths found each other, met, sealed, thrust, burned. He tasted her passion, her beauty, her kind sweet heart. His hand kneaded the soft skin at the nape of her neck, slipped down to her shoulders, and then to her back. Savoring each and every touch as if feeling her for the very first time.
She trembled in his arms. Her familiar scent encompassed him, wrapping him up in the cozy, homey aroma that was his Kaia.
He eased her back into the house. Automatically, he put out his foot to block the exit, but no orange ball of fur shot out. “Dart hasn’t come home?”
Solemnly, she shook her head. “No.”
Damn if he didn’t feel a sting of regret that the kitten hadn’t made it back.
“But you’re here,” she whispered, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He closed the door behind him with the heel of his boot. Reached for the switch plate to simultaneously turn off the porch light and turn on the living room lamp.
The illumination was sudden and startling in the throes of their embrace, and it moved them apart for a moment to catch their breaths.
Lamplight chased the shadows away and highlighted her cheekbones, the jut of her chin, and the provocative thrust of her nipples beneath the white cotton sleep shirt.
She seemed leaner, as if she’d been skipping meals. He understood. He’d had no appetite without her either. He couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t do damn much of anything.
“Sweetheart, I’ve missed you so much,” he murmured, and watched a brilliant smile bloom across her face.
There was much to say. So many words. He didn’t know where to start.
She studied him closely, her eyes saying what her lips did not. I missed you too, you big lug. Please tell me you’ve come home for good.
Her expression softened and her mouth formed a gentle circle. She reached out her fingertips, trailed them over his face. Touched his cheek, his jaw, his lips. “Is it really you?”
“It’s me.”
“And you’re really here? I’m not dreaming?”
“It’s no dream.” God, his legs were so shaky, it was a wonder he didn’t topple over.
“Ridge …” Her voice caught, light and joyful. “Oh Ridge.”
“I’m here, I’m here.” He pulled her into his arms again. Pressed her against his chest, hand to her back, rested his face against the top of her head, smelled the honest clean scent of her hair, watermelon and daisies.
Smelled daisies and heat and Kaia’s hot little body. Savoring this moment. Knowing he would never have another exactly like it. Basking in the glow. Loving every sigh, every caress, every taste, every glance, every scent.
Grateful. He was so grateful to be here. So grateful she’d texted. So grateful she’d given him a loving, welcoming reception.
Honestly, he didn’t deserve it, but he was deeply appreciative that she was so willing to give him a second chance without a moment of hesitation.
“Are you …” She stopped, pulled back a bit so she could see his face but did not break the circle of his embrace. “How long will you be here?”
“This is it. I’m back for good. I’ve come home.”
Tears blurred her eyes. “Oh Ridge, don’t tease. If it’s not true—”
“It’s true. I’m selling the drilling company to Lui Yan and, get this, Duke just offered me the Silver Feather.”
“What?” Her eyes widened.
He told her about his conversation with his father. About the old man’s change of heart and attitude.
“I don’t believe it.”
“I didn’t either at first, but he seems sincere.”
“There will be challenges working for him.”
“That’s just it. I won’t be working for him. He and Vivi would stay living in the mansion, but the ranch will be mine.”
“What about your brothers?”
“Like you said, there will be challenges, but I’m up for them.”
“This is what you really want? You’re not just doing it for me?”
“This is what I really want,�
� he said, his heart filled to overflowing.
What a blessing to love the very place that called to his soul, the place where he had belonged all along, but never knew it. The place he’d missed for ten long years.
She shook her head, her hair swirling in a dark arc around her shoulders. “I still can’t believe it.”
“It’s true. I’m here and I’m home and I’m with you. There’s nothing I want more.”
Her bottom lip trembled as if she wasn’t sure she could trust the changes in him. “Oh Ridge …”
As small as she was, it took no effort to pick her up off her feet, kiss her again, and carry her to the cushy sofa nestled in the bay window.
She quivered in his arms, her skin flushed, her eyes bright. She smiled when he laid her down, put her mouth against his and devoured him with desperation, letting him know she was as full of loneliness and longing as he was.
“I want you,” she whispered.
“Not any more than I want you.” He pulled back a moment to stare down at her, marveling at the blessed gift before him.
Looking at her clogged his throat and clutched his gut. She was everything he had not known he wanted. Everything his heart and soul needed. She was his. A sweet, feisty, gorgeous woman. Who loved him and was whimpering for him to take her, “now, now, now.”
Touching her was so poignant, so filled with nuance and emotion. The fire he’d tried so hard to bank flickered, flared, flamed. No tamping down his desires. No going back. He never wanted to go back to the life he’d led before.
Through knowing her, he’d learned so much. She’d held a mirror to his face, showed him what he’d become, schooled him on what really mattered in life.
Family. Home. Love.
By teaching him how to slow down and observe the world around him, she led him from vain pride in his accomplishments to humble hope that he was enough just as he was.
It came as such a relief. The knowledge that there was nothing to get, nowhere to go, nothing to be but himself. A radical concept for a man who’d based his self-worth on the trappings of success.
She’d taken away his “to do” list and replaced it with experiences and memories that would last a lifetime. She’d created more space in his life, more room to feel and to express those feelings. Her love had trained him to tap into the rhythm of his body. And to listen, to listen to the song of his heart.
Through loving her, he’d learned how he used rationalizations to keep from delving deep into his emotions and his relationships. And in those lessons, he’d found the security and connections with others that had always seemed to be slipping through his fingers.
People were what made a life rich. People. Connections. Relationships. That’s how you grew. Not through stubborn self-reliance and chronic hard work.
And the most lightning bolt lesson of all? He’d learned that he did not have to be responsible for everything and everyone. When he allowed others to share the burdens, mutual trust developed and he didn’t have to go it alone.
This dear woman was his guiding star, and he loved her more than words could ever express. He’d gone from self-imposed prison to the most exquisite kind of freedom.
“Ridge,” she called, and he realized he’d gotten lost in thought. “Are you all right?”
“Never been righter.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?”
“I was thinking maybe we should wait just a little bit longer.”
“What?” Alarm and disappointment sent her eyebrows shooting up on her forehead. “Why?”
“To do this right.”
“Meaning?”
“Let’s get married. It doesn’t have to be a big showy deal. We can keep the wedding small. Just immediate family. Your call. Whatever you want.”
She blinked at him, a rapt smile overtaking her face. “Wait. Let me absorb this. You’re asking me to marry you?”
He slid off the sofa, went to one knee on the floor, took her hand. “I’m sorry I don’t have a ring yet. I wanted you to pick out your own, but yes, Kaia Marie Alzate. I am asking you to marry me. Become my bride. Make my life. Take me as your husband from now until eternity.”
“Oh, oh.” She planted a palm to her mouth. “I wasn’t expecting this. I thought we were finished. You didn’t answer my texts and I just thought I’d ruined everything. And now here out of the blue, you show up on my doorstep asking me to marry you.”
Nervously, he licked his lips. “Did you … find someone else?”
She cocked her head and looked at him so tenderly it bruised his heart. “Silly man. There will never be anyone else for me but you. You are my soul mate. My one and only. Whether we are together or apart, that will not ever change.”
“Kaia, my beloved,” he said as his eyes stung. “I am not worthy of you.”
“Of course you are.” She smiled and reached up to touch his cheek. “But we’re better when we’re together. Both of us.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“We deserve each other.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him back down over her. “Now make love to me.”
“You didn’t answer my proposal.”
“There’s time for that later. Right now, I want you.”
“That’s my sexy kitten,” he murmured, and gave up the fight as her mouth captured his and pulled him under.
He pushed his palm up underneath her sleep shirt, his hand drifting over the velvety expanse of her skin, felt tiny tremors trigger throughout her body wherever his fingers trailed.
She squirmed beneath him, pressing their bodies closer, moaning softly, egging him on.
“You are so damn beautiful.” He exhaled heavily. “I’ve got something to confess.”
“Oh no,” she groaned. “Not more secrets.”
“It’s not a secret, just an admission.”
“Okay.” She pulled back to study his face. “Go on. I’m listening.”
He stared into her eyes, mesmerized, and gulped.
Kaia laughed. “You’re speechless. I didn’t know that was a possibility.”
“Are you kidding? I’m struck dumb every time I look at you.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, because I was afraid Archer would see the lust on my face and punch me out, but you’ve had this effect on me ever since you showed up at my college graduation.”
Surprised, Kaia raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“You wore this white lacy dress and the material was so thin I could see right through it, and you weren’t wearing a slip.”
“That’s right.” She smiled as if he were an apt pupil. “I purposely did not wear a slip, hoping you would notice. I had no idea you noticed. That evening you treated me the way you always did. As if I were nothing more than Archer’s annoying kid sister. Just so you know, I was crushed.”
“Unbeknownst to me, I’ve been carrying a torch for you ever since. I can be a bit thick sometimes.”
“Clearly.” Her grin forgave him for all sins.
He reached out to trace her chin with the pad of his thumb.
“You missed out on a big opportunity that night,” she said.
“You were too young. Only sixteen. Which is why I kept my distance.”
“I know that now, but I would have gone to bed with you in a heartbeat.”
“Which is precisely why I left. You scared the living hell out of me.”
“You broke my heart.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
“I’m not the girl I once was,” she said. “I no longer worship at the altar of Ridge Lockhart.”
“Good,” he said. “I do not want to be put on a pedestal.”
“I’m not even the woman I was when you sauntered back into Cupid with your golden boy smile.”
“I’ve never been a golden boy. It’s a myth.”
“A myth you’ve milked.”
He started to look a little panic
ky. “I’m trying to apologize here.”
“So it seems. But I’m no longer a pushover.”
“Why did you send me away that night Dart went missing?”
She paused, touched the tip of her tongue to her upper lip. “Remember that day at Balmorhea?”
“I’ll never forget it.”
“Do you recall what you said?”
“I said a lot of things. What specifically?”
“You said I was just like every other woman you’d ever met. That I wanted to change you. Mold you in a role of my own making.”
“I didn’t mean it. I was angry,” he said. “That day stirred up a lot of old painful memories. You know my past, what I was like as a kid, how things were with Duke …” He stopped, cleared his throat. “I was always the outsider. The one who didn’t belong. My whole life has been trying to prove myself worthy of the Lockhart name. It’s all I ever thought about.”
“I know that. And you were right.”
“I was?”
“Not about me wanting to change you because I love you just the way you are, but because you believed I was trying to change you.”
“I was running scared of my feelings.”
“So was I. I was terrified you’d see that as me trying to control you, mold you. But I had to send you away so you could figure out for yourself who you were and who you wanted to be. You needed to figure you out. No input from me.”
“So why did you text me?”
“Because.” She bit her bottom lip. “I couldn’t live one more minute without letting you know how much you meant to me. I love you, Ridge Lockhart. Always have, and always will. The Song of the Soul Mate just clinched what I already knew.”
“My soul mate,” he whispered, and nuzzled her neck.
“You’re not scared of that?”
“Not in the least.” He wrapped his arms around her, dragged her up against his solid chest.
“You could choose any woman you want.”
His gaze tangled up in hers. “And I choose you.”
“Why?”
“Fishing for compliments?” He laughed like she was the most amusing thing he’d ever seen.
“No. I’m serious. Why me?”
“Why? There are so many little things I love about you. Your adorable laugh or the happy face you make when you hug an animal. I love how you bite your lip when you’re uncertain and the way you bounce when you walk like you’re throwing yourself fully into life. I love learning a little more about you every day and I don’t ever want to stop.”