“You didn’t come.” I couldn’t keep the edge of hurt out of my voice. He turned and sadness crossed his features for a split second.
“I told you it could not always be so.” His voice was soft as fur, eyes flaring, the light growing then dimming from some unknown emotion. I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged myself to him. There was no hugging him to me, he wouldn’t be moved unless he wanted to be moved, but that was okay. That was just Alaric. His arms went around me after a moment and he enfolded me against his chest with an unidentifiable sigh.
“I was worried about you.” My voice was muffled by his large chest but he’d heard me. He drew back and looked down at me a solemn expression on his face.
“Truly?” he asked.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, then went on with, “You come to me most nights wearing armor, with a weapons strapped to you. I know you fight something, somewhere. I’m not stupid. When you didn’t come I was scared something had happened to you.” I was surprised to feel the prick of tears at the backs of my eyes.
“I would never think you a stupid woman, small one.” He said, long fingers tipping up my chin. His thumbs smoothed across my cheeks, wiping my tears away.
“I was well, no harm befell me on the battle field, I was…” he stopped, thought better of whatever it was he was going to say and then finished with, “…there was another matter that needed my attention.”
“Okay.” I knew better than to pry, his expression had closed down enough to tell me that it would get me nowhere. He let go of my chin and hugged me to him, lips resting on the crown of my head.
“I bought ice cream.” I said, voice once again muffled in his chest. He smelled good, masculine, warm and spicy with that edge of burning metal. His laugh was rich and rumbled through his chest, it was like being drenched in a fall of dark chocolate and it made me smile. The candles flared to life in my bedroom. I’d replaced them all and added more in anticipation of his arrival yesterday, in fact I had candles in every room of my small dwelling, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, dining area and living room. I gave a gentle but excited tug on his hand in the direction of my kitchenette but he was unmovable.
I’d done quite a bit of shopping after I’d showered and changed from my run the day before. After paying my bills on my trusty laptop which rested at my dining table I’d gone out and bought candles, some more candle holders as well as ice cream and one other surprise…
“Turn out the light.” He said first, shying back from the doorway.
“Oh! Right.” I went out into my kitchen and turned out the electric light I’d been cleaning up by. He came out of my bedroom and looked around, noting the candles. His lips twitched with a barely suppressed smile and they winked to life. I smiled and took the ice cream out of the freezer. A pint of Hagan Das Dark Cherry Amaretto Gelato. I peeled the plastic cellophane holding the small carton closed and pulled off the cardboard top. He looked down at me, a frown wrinkling his brow as I dished it into two bowls.
Grinning I handed him one and a spoon, which looked very, very small in his large hand. I took a bite of my ice cream, the rich flavor dissolving over my tongue and he followed my example. I laughed out loud at the expressions that played over his face. First there was sort of this what the…? look at the cold, then his eyes widened and flared a bit brighter in surprise, then my favorite one of all, his eyes became hooded in pleasure as the flavors played out.
“That was seriously the most fun I have had watching you so far.” I said. He swallowed and he cocked his head to the side considering me.
“Oh! Wait! I have one more thing.” I went to the fridge and opened it, retrieving the bottle I shut the door on the tail end of his sharp intake of breath. I turned around to see his hand raised in front of his face. Oh, crap, the light.
“Sorry.” I mumbled. Excitement had gotten the better of me, I had to remember next time. I wasn’t sure what it was about electrical lights that got to him but I was distracted pretty quickly by my new mission.
“What is that?” he asked around another mouthful of ice cream.
“You’ll see.” I used a corkscrew to open the bottle and brought down two wine glasses.
“I’m not sure how it’s going to taste with cherry amaretto ice cream, or how it compares with how it was back then, but I figured if I was going to make you taste something that was a favorite of mine… turnabout is fair play.” I turned and held out one of the glasses. Alaric’s look was one of pure suspicion. He set down his mostly empty bowl and I picked up my glass. He smelled the liquid in his and his expression was one of awe.
“Is this…?” he trailed off and I nodded grinning. He closed his eyes and breathed deep.
“It was surprisingly easier to find than I thought it would be.” I said. He opened his eyes and his face was very serious as he regarded me.
“Drink.” He commanded, spearing me with his gaze, and I didn’t even hesitate, I took a mouthful. He moved lightning fast, closing the gap between us, fingers curling around the back of my head his mouth crashed down over mine and he invaded my mouth before I even had the chance to swallow.
My wine glass crashed to the floor and I knotted my fists in the front of his shirt but not to push him away, oh no, I pulled myself flush against him and kissed him back.
The mead was sweeter than I expected it to be and complimented the burn of alcohol that came with it. Rich and complex and full bodied, that was how Alaric tasted and a moan escaped my throat, one that he swallowed greedily as he kissed me like he was going to devour me from the mouth down. He pulled back abruptly and I staggered in place.
“Holy cow!” I blurted, he growled and turned away from me.
“I should not have done that.” He grated.
“I’m glad you did.” The small kitchen was filled with the sound of our mutual heavy breathing. We stared at each other for long moments and the small space between us suddenly felt as if it were a yawning chasm.
“That will not happen again.” He said and looked stricken.
“I’m okay of it does…” I started.
“No!” he barked, then said in a gentler tone, “It cannot. My being here, it is forbidden.” He pursed his lips.
“What? Why!?” I asked, suddenly fearful for him… Could he get in trouble? If he did, what would happen?
“I have been careful,” he said, “avoided suspicion to this point, but understand me Gracelyn, I should not be here, it goes against every code but I…” he looked pained, “I could not resist being near you… When I thought you may have been lost, when the demon entered the physical realm to coerce you into doing those things, to drive you mad. You fought so well! So stubborn…A warrior’s will, unbreakable, I could not resist. I destroyed him and I came to you.” He set his glass on the counter and looked… ashamed.
“I was weak.” He finished.
I stood there for a long time trying to process. Finally I stooped and began cleaning up the shards of glass from my floor. He knelt beside me, and took my hands between his own, the glass I had collected fell back to the floor with a few sad musical chimes.
“Say something.” His brow was creased in worry.
“You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me.” My eyes welled with tears, if what he was saying was true, our time together could end at any moment, I didn’t even spare a thought to what could or would happen to me, I was more scared for him and I said as much.
“If they, whoever they are, find out what’s going to happen to you?” I asked, tears collecting in my lower lashes, causing his image to blur. He pulled me into his arms against his chest and sat down. Long legs out in front of him, down the narrow length of my kitchen tile, leather pants shielding his leg from the spilled mead and broken glass he pulled me into his lap, against his chest.
“Don’t cry, please, I am not worth your tears small one.” He rocked me gently and I gasped in outrage and pounded a fist rather ineffectually against his chest, it was
more to make a point than anything.
“How can you say that!?” I cried.
“It is ever the truth.” He murmured and tucked me back against him. I huddled there miserable and frustrated with his evasive lack of answers.
“So how long have you been watching me, or been my guardian or whatever?” I asked.
“When did your sadness come?” he asked,
“A little over a year ago.” I answered.
“That long.” His voice held no humor and he didn’t joke about these things. I let him rock me while I stewed on this bit of information.
“You said I was assigned to you…”
“Yes,” he huffed a sigh as if this were hard for him. I felt a tad guilty. Alaric had been there for me for over a year, keeping whatever influence that had been drowning me in sorrow for the last year or so from swallowing me completely. Been my silent savior and I didn’t even know it. Then when the bad guys had upped their game he’d broken the rules for me to keep me safe.
“Yes, all of this is about right.” He nodded and I realized belatedly I’d been speaking aloud like I sometimes did while processing through information.
“Now, if you’re caught, you’ll be in trouble.” He chuckled but it was dispassionate.
“Yes.”
“What. Will. They. Do?” I asked again.
“I do not know. Likely I will be denied my final test.” He said.
“Final test? For what?” I asked.
“Redemption,” and the way he said it, made it sound absolutely huge. My heart sank. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I wanted to know so much more.
“Alaric…” I said finally.
“Yes Gracelyn?”
“Don’t get caught.” I said.
“I have no intentions,” he said drawing me tighter against his body, “However, what I did, it cannot happen again, nor can it ever go any further.” His lips moved against my forehead and his voice just sounded so… pained.
“Okay.” I said. “Deal.”
Our ice cream had somewhat melted by the time I’d cleaned up the mead and broken glass, but it was still good. We finished it and the honey wine at my little dining table. I’d gone to wash the sticky off my ankles and feet in the bathroom while he turned down the bed. I’d changed into a nightgown too. When I went into the bedroom he averted his eyes until I’d crawled into bed. He was still dressed, though he’d taken off his boots. He tucked me beneath the blankets and then settled himself on top. I frowned but didn’t question it. After our kiss, and especially after our talk in the kitchen, I didn’t want to push our luck either.
I was still unclear on who exactly the Host was, recalling our earlier conversation about his origins, but with his redemption on the line I had to assume he meant the holy Host. I cuddled against his side as best I could.
“Rest.” He said.
“Alaric?” I said after a while of silence.
“Yes?” He asked.
“Why’d you kiss me?” I asked.
“After over a thousand of your years without the taste of it, I could not resist tasting my long lost mead from your sweet lips.” He murmured and I about melted from the sentiment. It was the most romantic thing any man had ever said to me. Ever. I felt things low in my body give a throb and silently told them to shut up… If Alaric had any idea how his words affected me he gave no indication.
“Oh,” was the only thing I could say for a minute or more then softly, “I’m still glad you did.” He chuckled and it was that rich dark sound that was so just, him that I loved to hear it. The candles in the apartment extinguished plunging us in to darkness absolute, the faint glow of his eyes the only illumination.
“Sleep.” He repeated, and I did.
Chapter 21
My mood gradually lightened over the next few weeks, and I felt as if I was thriving. When Volund had called I had rejected going to dinner with him before his departure back to Denmark. His voice had held a thrill of anger when I cited that my calendar was just simply too full that week. I’d apologized profusely, not meaning a single word of it, promised that I would call with any developments regarding the project’s progress and had gotten off the call.
The only call I’d made since was to let him know that we’d done what we could with the sword when it came to brushing the surface dirt away but now it needed further work to remove some of the corrosions to see if we could get any further with the runes. That had been a week after my refusal. The sword had gone into an olive oil bath and I’d been working diligently on it but sometimes the best thing you could do was give an object time to reveal itself. After as long as it had been in the dirt, it wasn’t in a real big hurry to give up all of its secrets.
Today it had been photographed using alternative light sources on varying different wave lengths. Right then, my favorite nerd in the whole wide world, Germaine, was using computer software to pile those images one on top of the other in some form of fancy technowidgetry that was out of my pay grade to see if there was enough there to send it out for translation. Whew, that was a thought and a half. It was Friday and I was wrapping up for the night when Jared came by. I wouldn’t know if Germaine’s work would bear fruit until the middle of next week.
“Gracie,” Jared said, he’d taken to calling me Gracie since our dinner where the terms of our relationship had been firmly established. He had adhered to them with grace and we had been becoming cautious friends.
“Yeah?” I asked winding my scarf around my neck.
“A bunch of us were going out for a drink, you want to join us?” he asked. I looked outside, the days were beginning to get longer, which saddened me as my time with Alaric would be cut shorter, the sun was just most of the way through setting now as opposed it being completely dark.
“I think I’ll pass tonight. I’m beat.” I smiled. Jared smiled back and turned to go but at the last second stopped and turned back to me.
“Hey Gracie,” he said.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Whoever he is, I’m really glad for you. He makes you happy. It looks good on you. Someday I hope you’ll let me meet him.”
I stood mute for several heartbeats… Finally a sad smile curled my lips and Jared looked stricken.
“I didn’t mean to upset you!” he held up a hand as if to ward something off.
“I wish you could meet him.” I said and this was the biggest obstacle to my joy. I wanted Alaric to experience all of me, not just physically, but everything. My friends, my family, which really was just my gran now and my work. I wanted to share so much more with him than I was able to, I yearned to, but I couldn’t and so we did our best to steal what moments of time we could with one another and cherished them for what they were.
“What is it Gracelyn?” Jared asked, gripping my elbow lightly. All I could see on his face now was concern, and it warmed me down to my toes. He really was a good friend.
“It is complicated.” I blew out a breath. We stood for a long pause and I finally smiled and said, “I’ve got to go,” then did something I had never ever done before. I hugged my boss.
“Thank for being such a good friend.” I said.
“No problem.” He patted my back and let me go, and with a final smile I went out the door.
The air was bone chilling when I stepped out into it. I hustled up the sidewalk and stopped at the corner waiting for the light to change so that I could cross the street. I leapt lightly off the curb and strode across the cracked asphalt buoyed by thoughts of Alaric. I quickly walked toward my building and punched in the code to my lobby door. I grew impatient waiting on the elevator and took the stairs two at a time instead, gasping for breath as I unlocked my apartment door.
The faint smell of burning metal wafted out as I opened the door and I smiled. I stepped inside and shut and locked the door turning to face him. He stood, eyes glowing softly, lips curved in a smile a single red rose hanging loose in his fingers.
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” I said and he
smiled. I took off my coat and scarf and hung them and my purse on the back of the door, tossing my keys into the dish on the hall table.
“I still do not fully understand the tradition,” he said with a frown that was ruined by his smile, “This is for you.” He held out the rose and I took it with a smile. I wanted so much to kiss him but refrained. We hadn’t kissed since that one time, though he had gone back to sleeping beside me as before. Not going to lie, having that delicious hard body nude in my bed, it took a phenomenal amount of restraint on my part not to give in to the temptation to touch in wildly inappropriate ways. He stepped forward and pulled me to him. I went willingly.
“Is it just me or is it getting harder and harder?” I asked.
“It is not just you. I wish I could taste you once more.” His voice was husky and low and did horrible things to my hormones, what he said next pretty much sent me to my knees emotionally rather than physically.
“Please accept the rose I give you as a token of my love and devotion on this day. It is not nearly what you deserve, would that I could tear my beating heart from my own breast and lay it in your hands I would Gracelyn. I would.” I rested my ear against his chest and listened to the slow, steady throb of his heart.
“I like your heart right where it is.” I murmured then surprised myself by saying, “Alaric I will never love anyone the way I love you. Not ever. Why do things have to be this way?” I shivered as my throat grew thick with unshed tears.
“I was an evil man when I lived, I was the foulest and most depraved soul in death and a warrior of Hell for a little over five centuries of your time. I could not tell you what it was, my beloved small one, but one day the killing held no more joy for me, I grew tired, could not stand it anymore. I realized how wrong I had been for so very long.” He sighed and it was a sound of utter exhaustion.
Heaven, Hell & the Love In Between Page 9