He was smiling at me serenely as he took off one shoe then the other. Eyes wide I blurted out,
“What are you doing!?” but he simply gave me a rakish grin and pressed the pad of his thumb deep into the arch of one foot and rubbed. I groaned, eyes slipping shut in pleasure.
“How long have you lived in New York?” he asked me.
“A little over five years, I was brought on to oversee parts of this project by Jared, so really I went straight from Connecticut where I was staying post-graduation to the site in Scotland.” I sighed as his long fingers danced over my instep, thumbs kneading the tortured flesh of the ridge beneath my toes.
“You went to school here.” It was a statement not a question and I looked up at him.
“Yes. How did you know?” I didn’t bother keeping the suspicion out of my voice. He chuckled, low and deep and I could feel the vibration of it through the seat.
“It was in the short biographic paragraph beside your photograph.” I stared at him blankly.
“On the tableau beside the Viking sword.” He said patiently.
“Oh!” I shook my head as if to clear it, “Forgive me, it’s been a long day and an even longer night.” We were pulling up to my building and never could my words have been more honest. I was exhausted and just didn’t feel like all my synapses were firing like they were supposed to. I sighed when he slipped my heels back on my feet, first one then the other.
“Thank you.” I murmured, reclaiming my legs.
“I would like to see you again.” His voice was soft and made me bite my lip between my teeth, tears stung the backs of my eyes. A short war was waged between my heart and my head. My heart cried yes, if only because he reminded me so much of Alaric, but my head, which was much quieter said that was an uncool thing to do to him. It really was. I couldn’t help it though. I agreed.
“Sure, I think I’d like that.” I said cautiously. The answering smile I received was worth it.
He slipped out of the car and held out his hand, I took it, wobbling a bit on the heels and found my footing. I straightened and took a gentle step back giving myself a bit of distance.
“I will be in touch.” He said, voice rough around the edges. I looked up at him and it was like he was drinking in my face, like he would never see me again. I went to slip off his jacket but he was already back in the car.
“Your jacket.” I said and he gave me that beautiful smile, that slow curvature of his mouth that damn near had me a puddle on the side walk.
“Keep it. I will get it from you later.” He shut the door and with a purr of the engine the town car slipped into traffic and away from the curb. I frowned, I hadn’t given him my number. With a sigh I punched the code into the front door and let myself into the lobby of my building.
When I entered my apartment it was dark and though not uncomfortable in temperature, it felt cold. I shut and locked the door behind me and set my clutch and keys on the entry way table. My breath escaped me in a shuddering sigh and I slipped the tuxedo coat from my shoulders. I gripped the material in both hands and hesitantly brought it to my nose. I closed my eyes and breathed in Alec’s smell.
Crisp, and clean, the jacket smelled of just a hint of cologne. A rich smell that reminded me of the open ocean air on an icy winter day. I hung the jacket on the back of my door and felt foolish at my disappointment. I don’t know why I let myself expect the acrid tang of burning metal to come from the jacket, but I had. I stepped into my bathroom leaving the heels by the door and flicked on the light, blinking in the harsh glare. I had to hand it to the makeup artist, I only looked slightly wilted around the edges after a good, what, nine hours in her handiwork?
As I began to pull pins out of my hair, I hoped that Gunnar had paid her well. I turned on the shower and carefully hung the dress, clutch and shoes in my closet before stripping out of the strapless bra, garter and hose. Stepping under the hot shower spray was a lesson in pure bliss. I soaped and rinsed my hair and watched the last vestiges of my night circle down the drain even as thoughts of Alec and Alaric circled in my head.
“God, are you testing me?” I asked. The steady fall of water was my only reply.
Chapter 49
Sunday I spent off my feet, for which they were grateful. Gunnar called me that evening to see how I was. I told him fine and that I had made it home just fine too. He didn’t ask how and I didn’t tell him. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t ready to share about Alec, I just wasn’t and I wasn’t up for analyzing it either. I diverted the conversation to the brunette he’d taken back to his hotel.
“She was a lovely distraction.” He’d said. I rolled my eyes and asked if that was it. He said that it was mutual and surprisingly I believed him.
I ordered take out for dinner, had it delivered and went to bed early. I had a long day ahead of me the next day. Now I kept glancing at the clock waiting for it to tick down. I had roughly half an hour to go. The tread of heavy work boots behind me made me turn. I fought down a surge of joy that welled in my chest and then wondered two things. One, why was I fighting down being happy and two, why was I so happy to see Alec? I barely knew the man but it was like my body, or maybe my subconscious recognized him or saw something in him that made sparks fizzle through me whenever I caught sight of him. Much like every time I would see Alaric. My poor heart, mind and body were at all sorts of odds with each other over this man I barely knew. I kept my smile in place even though I know it had wilted at the edges. That familiar fizzing radiated out to my limbs.
Alec came towards me, cool gray eyes appraising. He looked delicious in jeans and an olive drab form fitting Henley. His hair was pulled back into a tight braid giving him the appearance of short hair from the front. He stepped up to my work station and crossed his arms. Watching the play of muscle beneath his forearms where he’s rucked the sleeves of the shirt to his elbows was a treat. As was the way the soft looking material clung to the lean hard muscles in his biceps, shoulders and chest. I tried very hard not to blush.
“Hi.” I said softly.
“Hello,” his lips twisted into a wry grin and he said, “I told you I would be in touch.” I looked down to the visitor’s badge clipped to his brown leather belt and realized that everything he was wearing looked butter soft with age and use. He was in comfortable clothes that he was used to working in. It made me smile and like him a little bit more.
“I wish I’d known you were coming. I would have brought your jacket.” I murmured, I was staring at the floor and his well-used steel toed work boots. A touch of his finger beneath my chin made me raise my eyes to his. The appraising look in them was like a shock of ice water in the familiarity of the look.
“Don not go anywhere,” he said, accent a bit thicker than it had been a moment ago with some unidentified emotion. He turned and headed in the direction of Jared’s office, then turned at the last second to add,
“Please.” I nodded mutely and satisfied he rapped at the door frame and disappeared inside, closing the door behind him. My skin tingled where he’d grazed over my jawline lightly with his thumb. I turned back to my work and began wrapping it up for the day. Quietly putting away tools and turning off my computer and lights. The boom of laughter, muffled by Jared’s office door made me turn and look. The door opened and Alec stepped back out, the familiar sparkling sensation returned and I resisted the urge to push it away.
Happiness is coming just be patient, and when it finds you, don’t be afraid to let it in.
I watched Alec stalk up to me and found myself going very, very still. I didn’t feel threatened at all, in fact I felt calmer than I had in weeks. Still, like a pond, the surface as smooth as glass. We stared at one another for a few heartbeats before he spoke.
“Do you have any plans this evening?” he asked.
“Um, yeah, actually I do.” I said and picked up my little leather bound journal. I had started writing poetry on the nights I couldn’t sleep. A way to pass the time. I was actually going to brave a reading
tonight. I did it from time to time. I’d run into Roxy only once and I hadn’t read that night. I’d just opted to listen.
“Forgive me, but I would like to accompany you if that is okay.” He stumbled over ‘okay’ as if it were a new word for him. Come to think of it, I’d barely heard him use any slang type words, if any at all since I’d met him, which granted was all of two nights ago. I blinked. Had I said out loud what I was doing? I couldn’t remember and I didn’t want to ask. How embarrassing that I zoned out so bad while in his presence. I let out a shuddering breath.
“Sure.” I said, and immediately wished I could take it back. It was a poetry reading for God’s sakes! I looked him over and tried not to let my hormones take off without me. If you could take masculinity and bottle it, the packaging would look like him. There he was though, with Alaric’s charming smile and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t try and take it back. He plucked my spring jacket off the coat tree and held it for me to shrug in to.
“So where are we going?” he asked and then I did smile. I hadn’t said it out loud. Maybe this could be fun.
“Um, we’re going to a coffee house around six blocks away.” I said. I turned around and flipped what hair lay trapped by my collar out of it. He frowned slightly.
“I know, it’s trashed.” I blushed. It looked almost as bad as when I had first chopped it in Hell.
“What happened to it?” he asked, and I could see he was thinking about the pictures of me with it in its long braid.
“I donated it to a good cause.” It had worked before. I figured I might as well go with the tried and true. He was mildly frowning and didn’t look like he was buying it for a second, but he didn’t say anything. Simply gestured for me to lead the way. I grabbed my little leather bound journal and left the workspace. We dropped off his visitor badge with security and I unclipped mine’s reel from the waistband of my gray slacks and stuffed it into my purse.
We walked up the street, made the necessary turns, crossed the necessary streets and before you knew it I was pulling the door open to Central Perk West. The rich smoky aroma of fresh roasted beans assaulted me and I instantly felt more awake. I wasn’t sure you could become caffeinated from just the smell of coffee but it felt like I was. I looked up at Alec who was looking down at me curiously.
“Like coffee?” I asked.
“Black.” He affirmed with a nod and I smiled. Simple. Why wasn’t I surprised?
We waited in line at the counter and I ordered a large black for him and a Black Forest for me. It was one of the coffee shop’s specialty drinks, which was to say it was coffee, chocolaty, cherry perfection. Sweet and rich, almost dessert like, it was an indulgence I had been severely addicted to since I discovered it back when I came to hear Roxy read every Thursday. When they had opened up a Monday night reading I had been writing about a week and had decided to come listen, my second time I had read something. This was my fourth time coming now.
“It’s upstairs.” I smiled and he asked me.
“What is?”
“It’s a poetry reading.” I blushed deeply and he broke out into a wide grin.
“You brought me to a poetry reading?” he asked.
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” I said hastily.
“I did not say that.” He gently chided as we took the bend in the stairs and took the last flight into the smaller attic like space the reading was held in. We found a vacant table and I set down my coffee.
“I’ll be right back.” I murmured and went and signed my name. I returned to my seat, Alec was sipping coffee from the rim of his cup.
“You are embarrassed, why?” he asked.
I looked everywhere but at him. Staring at the dark plum walls, interrupted by the garish paintings of whatever artist was on display this month. They leaned toward brightly colored graffiti type images done in neon orange, pink, yellow and green on canvases. I liked a few, but for the most part killer clowns weren’t my thing. The tables and chairs up here were a hodgepodge of antiques, water stained and scarred with time. I sighed, realizing I couldn’t escape his question forever even as he sat patiently waiting for my answer.
“You don’t look like a poetry type of guy.” I said effusively. The noise level up here was a bit loud, it was a good turnout and was about to start. A microphone stood in front of an old wooden box, I suppose it was supposed to harken back to the old soap box. I caught Alec staring at me.
“I am sure that if you love poetry, that I will love it too.” Surely he was just trying to be charming. He covered my hand with his where it rested on the table and again with that fizzing thrill through my veins. My eyes met his and there was something there, just beneath the surface, an intensity I…
“Ladies and gentleman I want to thank you for coming tonight.” Royce, the poetry group’s founder was at the microphone, giving his customary introductions. Whatever I had thought I’d seen in Alec’s eyes swirled away as he diverted his attention to Royce. I sipped my coffee and closed my eyes in pure flavor bliss. When I opened them he was watching me, not Royce. A naked heat in his eyes. I flicked my tongue against my lips to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind and the heat intensified. My heart gave a spastic beat and I lost my breath.
God help me, in the dim light, with that look on his face, I could almost pretend it was him… I turned my eyes away from Alec, a storm of emotions blowing through me and concentrated on the waif like girl taking Royce’s place on the soapbox. She was good, really good.
The next man was in his twenties, early I’d wager. He shouted a lot of nonsensical things into the microphone and stomped his foot on the floor and went on like that until the barista came up to let Royce know that the other patrons downstairs were complaining. Royce never stopped a performance, but as the young man became more agitated he stopped him and gently took him aside. He left screaming that we were all a bunch of fascists, golden curls coming free from his pony tail and falling into his eyes. I doubted the boy even knew what a fascist was. I smiled a bit bemused by the whole thing and he spit in my direction. Alec got to his feet and the young man quailed, shooting down the stairs as if he were running from a fire. There was some nervous laughter. I looked up at Alec and he sat down with a lazy grin on his face and shrugged.
“Well that was interesting.” Royce stated dryly, and looked around the room.
“Sorry about that folks, next up we have Vonfrost.” There was a low collective murmur as a man stepped up to the microphone. He wore faded jeans and Chuck Taylor sneakers, a white dress shirt, unbuttoned at the collar and turned back to the elbow at the cuff, rode on his thin shoulders. He pushed round wire rimmed spectacles up on his straight nose and glanced through a well-worn composition book, selecting a page and turning it back at its binding. He was very good, a crowd favorite and everyone settled in to listen. I adored his poetry, but at times found him to be almost too somber. He cleared his throat and pushed his light brown hair out of his eyes.
“I’ve had too much to drink again…” he wove an intricate poem about a man having had too much to drink, about his hopes and dreams of becoming better for his lover, so beautiful and asleep in their bed, then brought it crashing back to earth and into despair.
“…but I can’t. I’ve killed you, I’ve had too much to drink again.” There was silence, then one person began to clap as his words sank in for the rest of us, then another, then it was all out wild applause. I shuddered and Alec’s hand tightened over my own on the scarred wooden table top. I blinked and looked down at them. I hadn’t even realized he’d been holding it. I looked at him and he was looking at me very curiously as if he wanted to see what I would do. I thought about it a moment, then slowly relaxed, leaving it where it was. It earned me a smile, which I returned.
We listened to several more performers quietly finishing our coffees, and finally, with the last lingering taste of cherries on my tongue, my name was called. I breathed in deeply and let it out slowly.
“Grace
lyn? Are you here?” Royce asked. “Ah there she is folks.” I rose from our tiny table in the back near the wall and Alec let me go. I missed the reassuring warmth of his hand suddenly, this man I didn’t know, as I got up to read a poem that essentially mourned the loss of Alaric. I stepped up on the black soap box and cleared my throat, suddenly afraid. I’d just spoken to a room of over two hundred people two nights ago about the loss of my parents but suddenly a room of twenty or so, speaking about the loss of the love of my life seemed too personal, too raw.
“Um hi, I’m uh… I cleared my throat, “I’m Gracelyn and I’ve only been here a couple of times, only read once before.” I swallowed, mouth gone dry. I took a deep breath, centered myself and voice stronger I said,
“Heaven, Hell or somewhere in between, this is for Alaric. I… I love you.” A solid heavy silence fell over the room, I opened my little leather bound journal to the marked page, moving the little black ribbon aside, I began.
“Glister waters lap upon a serene shore.
She waits.
She hears a far off scream
And all the rest is silence.
Silvery shadows move vulpine through the trees.
They take the poison from her lips
And breathe her insecurities.
She weeps.
Tears dropping into deepest night.
Calling for her lost prince.”
My voice shook, my eyes brimmed with tears and spilled over. I sniffed.
“Um thank you.” I said and there were murmurs and a smattering of applause. Royce got up, passing me as I stiffly went back to my seat, but Alec barred my way. He reached out and captured my hand, pulling me against his chest and God help me I let him. One large hand pressed between my shoulder blades, holding me against his hard body, the other cupped the back of my head, fingers threading through my hair. I closed my eyes and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. So familiar. He was warm and I let my arms wrap around his lean hips as he held me there.
Heaven, Hell & the Love In Between Page 19