by Ward, Alice
My mind was reeling as it clattered against the empty burners I dispensed it onto, but I barely heard it. The heat radiating from the food and appliance was nothing to the heat in my face, and my hands were trembling.
I felt violated. I felt like my privacy had been utterly compromised, but worse, I felt like the integrity of my relationship with Cash — as strange a relationship as it was — had been completely invalidated.
Whatever the hell we were, it clearly wasn’t what I thought. Apparently, we as a couple were little more than fodder for gossip with his corporate robot buddies.
He would do anything? Did that also mean do anyone?
I was aching. I was searing. And, yet again, I was betrayed.
Grabbing the phone, I jammed it against my ear. Harlan was mid-sentence, spewing the same jazz Cash tended to spew about the advantages selling offered and the wisdom behind agreeing to Pennington’s wishes. I had no patience for that crap anymore, but I didn’t have the motivation to silence him. The only thing I could think was that this man knew what was between Cash and me, and it made me sick to my stomach.
“…I’m sure you’re a reasonable woman, Ms. Laughlin, but you’re wasting your time as much as ours while you’re waffling.”
With the swoop of a hawk descending upon helpless prey, my nerve returned to me. “I am a reasonable woman, Mr. Dade, and as a reasonable woman, I have no intention of doing a deal with an unreasonable company or an unreasonable man like you.” My snarl came hot and fast, and my syllables blended together. “I’ve made myself clear. I don’t want to sell at all, and I sure as hell won’t sell to you people!”
The shout exploded through my apartment. Though it was a small space and quite cluttered, the echoes of my ire reverberated back at me in layers of aggression. No amount of healing crystals, calming lavender incense, white sage cleansing, or yoga poses could soothe the vitriol coursing through my veins. It occurred to me that I might have been overreacting, but I’d had enough.
Months and months of harassment…
Witnessing the town I loved bending to breaking…
Fighting feelings for the man who headed the bane of my existence, accepting those feelings, regretting the acceptance, relenting to them again…
It was too. Damn. Much.
He was in the middle of retorting to my vicious verbal assault, but I didn’t care. I cut him off. “My relationship with Cash is none of your business, do you understand me? None. And, as far as Auras goes, I am not letting you bully me into making a decision that only serves your company and leaves the rest of my town with nothing.”
To my surprise, he stopped talking completely. I was fairly quaking with the intensity of my anger, but I was nevertheless taken aback by his unexpected silence. I wondered if I’d finally said what I needed to say to shut him up, or if I’d offended him just enough to get him off my back.
“You’re right, ma’am. Your relationship with Cash is none of my business.” His whole tone had changed from insistent sandpaper to sly chocolate. My suspicions were raised. “I apologize for disturbing you during your suppertime.”
I let a beat pass, then slowly said, “Okay…”
“Have a good evening, Ms. Laughlin. Thank you for your time.”
With that, he abruptly disconnected. I kept the phone to my ear for a second longer, then lowered it to the counter. My knuckles were still white from clutching it so tightly, and my heart was thumping manically.
What the hell just happened?
“I’m going insane.” I looked up at the popcorn ceiling and hoped Gram was listening. “Do you realize that, Gram? I’m going bat-shit crazy. I don’t know what to do.”
No pressure eased on my chest. I felt no ghostly caress across my cheek, and the temperature in the room remained the same. If she was there, she didn’t feel a need to let me know.
I closed my eyes, took several calming breaths, then turned my attention back to my cooking while I decided what to do next.
The part that disturbed me more than anything about the phone call was the last part when Harlan’s whole attitude changed. It was after I blew up at him, but I wasn’t sure which part caused the alteration. The insult about him or Pennington’s as a whole? That didn’t seem likely. He was hardly unaware of my unwillingness to work with them. The mention of my relationship with Cash? He’d indicated he already knew about that, so it couldn’t have been a surprise.
Then again, he hadn’t expressly said he knew Cash and I were seeing each other. He’d only said he knew what was going on between us. It sounded like he was referencing the relationship, but perhaps he’d meant only what business discussions had been taking place.
“You’re trying to make excuses for Cash again.” I stabbed the wooden spoon into the pot of sauce too voraciously and accidentally splattered my front. “There are no such things as coincidences, Gretchen. One bad thing after another keeps happening, and Cash seems to always be involved. There’s a reason.”
I didn’t want to believe he was capable of betraying me again, though he continued to insist he hadn’t betrayed me the first time, but I refused to be naïve. Determined to get to the bottom of it, I neglected my food for a minute more to send a very pointed text.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Cash
I need you to come over right now.
My dick hardened as I read the text. I grinned. The flirtations Gretchen and I were sending back and forth had me throbbing for her, and I couldn’t help feeling pleased with myself because she felt the same way.
What’s in it for me?
I sent the teasing text and chuckled, getting up from the desk where I’d been working on my laptop to throw on a fresh t-shirt. It might have behooved me to change my jeans too since the ones I was wearing had what must have been a permanent stretch from where I’d had an erection for so long. My phone buzzed next to my computer with Gretchen’s reply as I checked my hair in the life preserver-themed mirror above the bureau.
Not kidding. Now.
“Demanding,” I muttered to myself. But I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my mouth as I retrieved my cowboy boots from underneath the bed. Once I’d shoved my feet into them, I grabbed my phone and keys, and I booked it out the door without bothering to send her a response.
It was around seven o’clock, which was evidently dinner hour for the entire town of Fawn because there wasn’t a single car bumbling along in my way as I drove the short distance from Bullfrog Bay to Auras. The sun was halfway done with its nightly bedtime ritual, coloring the sky in candied hues of pink, purple, and orange. If I hadn’t been in such a hurry to get to Gretchen and make her body mine, it would’ve been a vision to stop and admire.
The store was closed and had been for a couple hours, so I parked my rental at the curb out front and trotted around to the door at the rear of the small building. I rang the doorbell, listening to the cheerful chiming inside. Amazingly, I was still aroused, though my erection had thankfully diminished in the travel time.
Since the door was solid and blank without windows, I couldn’t peek in to see if Gretchen heard the bell, but I heard shuffling on the other side after a few seconds. I straightened up and prepared to swoop down on her with a passionate kiss the second I saw her. A lock clicked, and the door opened.
The sexy nymph of a woman for whom I lusted so powerfully looked up at me with daggers in her eyes.
“Hi.” I lamely fumbled over my tongue, thrown off by the unwelcoming sight. “You wanted to see me?”
She nodded, stepped back to allow me entrance, and didn’t say a word. The creepy-crawly feeling of uncertainty prickled the back of my neck, and I cast her a glance with a raised eyebrow as I sidled past her into the claustrophobic foyer with stairs leading up into the living area. She closed the door behind me. “Come up.”
I followed her up the stairs. Gretchen was behaving strangely, and it had me on edge, but I didn’t fail to watch her pert ass sway with each step. When we reached
the landing, she showed me to the couch and motioned for me to sit. I did, leaving enough room for her to have a seat beside me, but she chose an adjacent compact dorm-style chair instead.
“So, what’s on your mind, darlin’?” This was far from the romantic encounter I’d expected, and I was already regretting coming over.
Her hands fidgeted in her lap, fingers hooking and unhooking with nervous energy. She might as well have been wearing a suit of armor for all the layered defenses I felt shutting away her usual spicy softness. “Is this all a joke to you?”
I stared at her unresponsively, so unsure how to answer the vague question that I waited for further explanation.
“That came out wrong.” Her hasty correction was accompanied by averted eyes and a steely jaw. “I think the better question is, what is this to you?”
Nope, that wasn’t any clearer. “Not to come across like a complete idiot, but I don’t know what this means.”
“Us.”
The word hung in midair like smoke on a windless day. I wanted to wave it aside, to clear the smog and bring back the Gretchen I knew, but she was watching me with razor-edged question marks in her gaze, and I knew I had to address it.
“You want to know what I think about us?”
“Yes.”
I smiled. “I like us. A lot.”
Her lips remained downturned. “You like us because you’re invested in the relationship and its future, or you like us because it gives you something to laugh about with your buddies?”
“What?” The smile dropped off my face in a hot second. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about us.” There it was, that us again, but it was starting to sound like a dirty word with the way she punched it every time she said it. “What do we mean to you?”
“Look, I don’t want to come across as the insensitive guy who skates around deep conversations, but you need to stop with the wishy-washy questions and come right out with what’s bothering you if you want me to give you any real answers here.”
She skimmed her fingers through her hair, pulling berry-blonde locks away from her face and revealing the muscle pulsing in her temple. I knew she was distressed, though I hadn’t a clue why, but I realized she was angrier than I’d thought. “I don’t know how I could be any clearer, Cash. I want to know what you consider us to be.”
Us, us, us.
I was starting to loathe the word, and the tingle of irritation was manifesting behind my ears. “You keep saying that, but I don’t know what that means. Are you asking for a title? A boyfriend-girlfriend kind of thing?”
She gritted her teeth. “I don’t give a damn about a title.”
“Then, I’m lost. I don’t know how to answer you.”
A tsunami crashed over her in the blink of an eye, washing away whatever patience she had left for this conversation, and a beast emerged behind her sweet, sensual features. “You’re so full of shit!”
The outburst was so unexpected that I drew back against the couch in surprise. “Gretchen, I don’t—”
“No, stop talking!” She seared me with wild eyes. “You always talk! You always say something to smooth it all over and pull the blindfold down, but not this time! I’m sick of being a fool, and I’m sick of you making me one, and I hate that you’re doing this to me again!”
“What? What am I doing to you?”
“Oh, yeah, you’re so innocent.” My irritation was growing with each venomous shot she took. “I got a call from your board member friend, Harlan Whatever-His-Name-Is. Apparently, he knows all about us. Did you know that? Because I know I didn’t tell him about us, but somehow, he knew, and unless he’s got drones following you, I’m pretty sure you’re the only source left.”
Ignoring the sarcasm and the comment about the drones, I furled my brows together in concentration, trying to connect the dots. “Harlan called you?”
“Yep, to see if I was prepared to change my mind yet. I told him I wasn’t. And wouldn’t you know it, right when I was ready to hang up on his badgering ass, he decided to tell me he knew about you and me! Crazy, right?”
I was surprised she was still sitting. The energy thrumming from her was dense and bladed, and her cheeks were verging on feverishly red. If it were me, I would’ve had to get up and pace around just to sieve some of that rage off.
“I didn’t tell him about our relationship, Gretchen. Disrespect and hurt aside, I wouldn’t jeopardize my role in the company for the sake of boasting.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “But you wouldn’t be jeopardizing your position if our relationship was part of the plan from the beginning, would you?”
My face grew hot, and I had to crack my knuckles to keep my temper in check. “What are you suggesting?”
She huffed, straightened up, and cocked her cheek against her palm with mock interest. “Why did you take me out to dinner, Cash? Why did you take me sailing? Why are we spending all this time together that never has anything to do with selling Auras to you?” Her lip snarled up. “Is it because you’ll do anything to close a deal?”
“You really think I’m using you?” I kept my jaw tight to stop myself from shouting, but I was losing the battle between my composure and my anger. Alarms were going off in my head, warning me to walk away before I lost my shit, but I was rooted to the couch. “After everything, you have the fucking nerve to accuse me of faking a relationship with you so I can score some land?”
She shrugged. “Why not, right? It’s just business.”
“You’re paranoid.”
“You’re disgusting.”
The last straw snapped, and my fury tumbled forth in an avalanche of bellows. “I’m disgusting for taking you out? For getting to know you? It’s disgusting to take an interest in the things you like? What about telling you about my dad, huh? That must’ve been downright repulsive!”
“You’re disgusting because this whole thing is nothing but a sick game to you!” She wasn’t too shy or mellow to shout back. “It’s all in the name of getting my signature on your stupid paperwork, and in your mind, that makes it okay! I should’ve seen your true colors the first time, when you went behind my back with those building permits, but I was the dunce who bought your line of crap! Yeah, you went back to Oklahoma to convince those bad, bad men to stop doing bad, bad things because you’re Superman and I’m Lois freakin’ Lane. It was a genius plan, really.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. More than that, I couldn’t stomach the fact that she actually believed the things she was saying. I felt like I’d stepped back in time to that awful fight about the building permit rumor, right before I learned the board had moved ahead without my knowledge or consent. The disdain in Gretchen’s voice cut me to the core, and I was deeply offended that she was taking everything we’d shared — all the meaningful moments, the laughter-filled hours, the volcanic sex — and discarding it as contrived.
“You’re so quick to demonize me, but you don’t know a damn thing about me, or us, for that matter, if you think any one of those things you just said are true.” I could hardly hear myself over the crashing of adrenaline and the ramming of my heart. “I don’t need to use you to get your property. You’re doing a fine job of losing it yourself.”
A shadow crossed her face, hurt marring the fury, and I realized I’d cut her where the flesh was softest. What I’d asserted was true since the board seemed more determined to pull the land out from under her the longer she kept them at bay, but my delivery was poor and tactless. Nevertheless, I had no intention of retracting it. My flames burned too high after the gasoline she’d poured ignited them, and any expression of regret was potential for an inadvertent confession.
The person I was angriest with was myself.
The truth was that she wasn’t as wrong as I wanted to lead her to believe. She also wasn’t as wrong as I wanted to lead myself to believe. While I’d never planned to sleep with her or shar
e my personal stories with her in the interest of Pennington’s, I had absolutely intended to charm her into bending to my will. The first dinner I took her to was part of a concocted plot, and I’d gone out of my way to ask her about her life to develop a friendship with an agenda.
I was furious with Harlan for going behind my back to reach out to her, and I had no idea how he could have found out about my relationship with her, but I was more furious with myself than anyone else.
Seeing the hurt scratch through the surface of her anger, however, quelled my outburst. Hurting her had never been part of my agenda, at least not consciously, and it scored me deeper than I could’ve imagined. I rose to my feet.
“Maybe I should go.” The brimstone in my belly was dulling to the ache of guilt, an emotion far more difficult for me to handle than anger. I wanted to get out of her apartment before the dam broke.
“That’s what you do, isn’t it?” She, too, sounded like she’d reached the end of her rope. Coarse bitterness laced her words. “You sidle in, wreak your sneaky havoc, then disappear into the night without any accountability.”
“If I’m as evil as you take me to be, Gretchen, I can’t imagine why you’d didn’t see all of it in my…” I waved my hands around my head, “aura.”
She looked up at me through glossy greens. The pulsing muscle in her temple had moved to her left cheekbone, and I thought I caught a sorrowful tremble in her lower lip. “Just tell me why. Why did you go through the whole charade? The dates and the talks… the sex? What was it all for?”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer her. I was afraid speaking was going to cause the pit in my stomach to rise as a lump in my throat, and I couldn’t let that happen. Tiny pieces of the world around me were tumbling down at my feet, but not in a great shatter that started and ended in the blink of an eye. They were slow, almost delicate, drawing out the trauma with painstaking steadiness to ensure I felt and continued feeling every last disconnect.