by London Casey
Not yet, sweetheart.
I moved my hand back over her breast. I cupped her tight. She let out a breathless whimper.
That’s when I kissed her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
(Sleep Lingering With Your Taste)
NOW
(Adena)
I wasted no time. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and ripped it up over my head. I had to break our kiss, which I hated. That was a second wasted I’d never get back. Our lips collided again, his tongue touching mine, my body melted as though the floor beneath our feet was made of lava.
His hands against my bare skin made me shiver. I broke out in goosebumps as he went for the clasp on my bra. The kiss grew hotter, faster, implications that I had only ever dreamed about.
Evan knew how to kiss. Forcefully but not drowning me. He pulled away at the right time, letting me gasp for a breath. Our eyes would lock for a split second, flirting, and then we went right back to kissing. The kisses echoed in the small bathroom.
He unhooked my bra and his fingertips glided up my back behind my shoulders. He gently pulled at the straps of my bra, guiding it down my arms as I lowered them, letting him expose me.
When his hands touched my waist again, I shivered and jumped.
I broke the kiss so I could groan.
My head was spinning so fast. I tried so hard not to sway.
Why the fuck did I drink that wine?
I felt drunk, sloppy, and stupid.
But I felt good. Really good.
I had Evan all over me.
He pressed his body to mine, kissing me even harder, walking back until I hit the shelf behind me. I jumped and knocked stuff off the shelf.
Evan backed up a little bit, giving us just enough space to allow his hands to slide up my body and cup my breasts.
His hands were rough, strong, everything man. Everything protective. Everything I had ever fantasized about. And he was touching me. He was cupping me. Holding me. His thumbs easing over my nipples, making me sigh.
“Evan… yes…”
I finally got the nerve to reach for him.
He kissed me as I grabbed his hair. Curling tight, pulling, wanting him to go down…
I purposely broke the kiss and thrust my chest at him.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Fucking yes…”
I heard the way the word fucking came out of my mouth. I missed the u and most of the ing as my tongue felt four times its size.
Evan then slid his hands down to my waist again and straightened his arms.
“Fuck,” he said. “Dena… we can’t…”
“What?” I asked.
I stood there, topless, exposed, vulnerable.
“You’re drunk.”
“So what?”
“You’re emotional. You’re…”
“What?” I asked.
“Getting back at her. You don’t need to do that.”
I gasped. “What did you say?”
“Dena, not like that.”
I made two fists and pressed them against his chest as hard as I could.
“Get out,” I said. “Get out now.”
Evan ran a hand over his face and jaw. “Dena, listen to me.”
I grabbed for a towel behind me and opened it, covering my chest. “You’re an asshole. Why’d you even come here?”
“You think I don’t want this?”
“Then what are you doing?”
Evan closed in on me again. He put his hands against the shelf behind me. Almost smothering me. He was so sexy even though he looked so mad.
“I didn’t know about the dress,” he said. “If I did, I would have never let it happen to you. And I didn’t come here just for this… but this… you have no idea where it could go.”
“And what if I said I’m ready to go there?” I asked.
“You’re drunk,” he said. “You tell me this when you’re sober, Dena.”
“Then what?”
“Then I’ll take your broken heart, piece by piece, and put it back together. Even if it takes the rest of my life.”
I gripped his shirt with my free hand. I felt the tears fill my eyes again.
He moved closer to me and kissed me. A soft kiss. A gentle kiss. A kiss like he loved me.
But he stopped the kiss too early.
Tears fell from my eyes.
Evan crouched and picked up my shirt.
“Come here, sweetheart,” he whispered.
He put his hands to my hips and turned me around. With a quick pull, he tore the towel from my hands. It fell to the floor. He couldn’t see my breasts, even though a minute ago he was touching them.
Evan helped me put my shirt on. He pulled my hair out from under the shirt. I turned around and touched his chest.
“You know, I’ve been in love with you from the day I met you,” I whispered. “You were the forever thing in my heart, Evan. I wanted you that night, Evan. I bought that dress for you. I thought if you saw me in that dress you’d forget about Anna and want me.”
Evan swallowed hard. “Fuck, Dena…”
“But she took the dress. She looked better in it. And you went with her.”
“I didn’t know any of that,” Evan said. He reached behind him and pulled the picture out of his pocket. He unfolded it so I could see it. Then he ripped it in half. “This is what I think of it. Fuck that night. Fuck everything that happened.”
He ripped the picture two more times and threw it out.
“Evan…”
He shook his head. He took my hand and led the way from the bathroom to my bedroom. He pulled the covers back for me.
And before putting me into bed, he grabbed my hips one more time and held me.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” he said with a grin.
“I’m sorry, Evan. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“You are. Give it time.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“Right now, you need to sleep.”
“Are you leaving?”
“No, sweetheart. I’m not leaving.”
He guided me down to the bed. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled, demanding another kiss. And not that sappy tear filled kiss. I wanted a real kiss.
And I got it…
I led with my tongue and Evan took control a second later.
We started to breathe really hard and fast through our noses.
Yes, yes, yes… right now…
I grabbed for his right hand and forced it to my chest. It was just my shirt stopping him from touching bare skin. His hand grasped tight, leaving my heels pulling at the bed, shaking with need.
Evan broke the kiss again and jumped back. “Christ, Dena…”
My right hand touched my bottom lip. The trembling sensation going through the deepest parts of my core was nothing like I’d ever felt before.
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said.
“Evan,” I called out when he got to the door.
My body was in this terrible battle. The wine wanted me to sleep. My eyes were heavy. But my heart was racing. My body aching for him.
“Dena,” he said.
I opened my mouth and knew what I wanted to say. But I didn’t say it.
I turned my head and shut my eyes.
I heard the door click shut.
That’s when I found the words.
“I’m still in love with you, Evan…”
Chapter Twenty-Four
(The Garbage of Love)
NOW
(Evan)
When I shut the bedroom door, I put my head back. I gritted my teeth. I was angry. But it was a strange anger. An anger at myself. Knowing what would happen if I came around Adena again. She needed more out of life than some burned out town, old house, and even older feelings for me. My body was mad at me for not finishing what we had started.
I pushed from the door and walked toward Anna’s room.
Inside, I looked right to the window. There was a litt
le roof out there that was pretty pitched but gave way to a trellis that I had climbed too many times in my life. Sneaking into Anna’s room in the middle of the night because she needed me. And so many times I would open her door and stand there, looking up and down the hall, wondering where Adena was sleeping.
“Fuck,” I said and I kicked the trash bag on the floor.
It tipped over and the top of it spilled. Garbage. That’s what it all was. Just fucking garbage.
I crouched and picked through some of the stuff. Random papers. Speeding tickets that were never paid. Overdue bills with warnings. Credit card statements with the balances maxed out and no payment made in months.
This was her legacy, huh? I had no idea how any of the financial stuff worked or if Adena was going to be on the hook for this shit.
I sat down on the floor and put my back to the nightstand. I made a fist and put it to my mouth. I had sat in this same spot a few times before.
I looked to the bed.
It was empty.
I looked to the window.
It was closed.
That’s when all the shit hit me. And it hit me hard. I growled and pinched the bridge of my nose as I lowered my head.
Anna was gone. Adena was hurt. They had both loved me once. And I had fucked it all up.
The really messed up part… Adena had confessed something to me I didn’t know. The truth about Anna’s dress.
And if I confessed something to Adena about her sister… well, I would just end up fucking everything up again.
Chapter Twenty-Five
(Angels and Bullshit)
YEARS AGO
(Evan)
“Hey, you still awake?” I whispered.
“Yeah,” Anna whispered back.
“What am I doing here?”
I sat against her nightstand. Which was fine. I didn’t need to be in bed with her. That would just end up turning into something more than it really was.
She had called me in a panic, crying, so I had to bail on Andy, Mike, and a case of cheap beer as we drank around a fire. I shouldn’t have been driving, but when I heard Anna’s voice, I knew something was really wrong. And when she went off the rails, it was bad. I didn’t want her to do something to hurt Adena. Or, you know, hurt herself.
When I got to the house and snuck up to her bedroom, she was on the bed, under the covers, lights off. She had these glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. They were lit up, but by now, they were almost completely dark.
“You never asked about my parents,” Anna said.
“Was I supposed to?”
“You could have.”
“Okay. Tell me about your parents.”
“They’re dead.”
“I know that already,” I said. “Anna, what are you…”
“Today’s the day, Evan. When it happened. Nobody thinks I know that though. Everyone thinks I was too young to know what happened. Too young to really grasp it. But I remember everything. I used to try to bring my mother back to life. I hated my father. He hated me. And Adena. My mother really hated Adena too. But she loved me.”
“What… why did they hate Adena?”
“She was too smart. She would correct them. Mom used to slap Adena a lot. Adena would fix my seat in the car when Mom had it wrong. She would hold my hand when Mom would drink and drive really fast. One time, Mom went off the side of the road and hit a guard rail. I remember seeing sparks. Adena made me look at her. Then she reached for the wheel up front and Mom got mad and backhanded Adena so hard, her mouth bled for hours.”
“Jesus,” I whispered. “I didn’t know that.”
“My father used to bring his friends around. I remember one of them used to point to me and say I would be prime in a few years. I never knew what that meant. He would point to Adena and say she was too chubby. Adena would hold me and cover my ears.”
I felt a rage start to burn inside me.
“And then they were suddenly gone,” Anna said. “Romantic, drug fueled fate.” Anna rolled to her side and looked down at me. I could see her eyes in the darkness. “But they were still my parents. Right?”
I nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry you lost them the way you did. I’m sorry today is that day.”
“I’m really messed up right now, Evan,” Anna said. “I’m glad you answered when I called. I thought about jumping off the roof tonight.”
“No, Anna, don’t say that stuff. You’re going to end up in trouble if you say stuff like that. Why don’t you just fall asleep. Okay?”
“Will you stay?”
I knew I shouldn’t have stayed but I agreed to anyway.
“You’re so sweet, Evan,” Anna whispered. “You keep all our dirty secrets. I think I want to marry you someday.”
I reached up and touched her hair. She really was a mess. She smelled pretty rough and looked the same.
“We’ll talk someday,” I whispered. “I’m sorry about your parents, Anna.”
“Me too,” she said. “I wish I was letting them down instead of you and Adena and Beth.”
I didn’t reply to that.
Anna fell asleep a short time later.
I told myself that once it got to be around one in the morning I would leave. Yeah, maybe it would piss Anna off, but I couldn’t get caught spending the night.
The clock glowed twelve-thirty-two.
I looked down, only for a second.
I took a deep breath.
Next thing I knew someone was shaking my shoulder.
It was four in the morning.
I looked to my left.
“Get your ass downstairs,” Beth said with her eyes wide.
“I didn’t do… you can’t think…”
“Now,” she growled in a whisper that I swore shook the room.
I climbed to my feet, my nerves jumping.
I followed Beth down the stairs, knowing I was caught red handed.
I ran my hand through my hair as I saw the front door. That would be the logical play here. I was faster than Beth. Stronger, too. I could bolt out of the house and make my getaway. Then deal with the aftermath at some other point in time.
Here’s the thing… I may have been faster than Beth. Stronger than Beth. But she was smart.
The first thing she did at the bottom of the stairs was slither right to the front door and block it. And she looked right at me. Her eyes said I dare you and I didn’t dare.
“Table,” she said.
“Yeah,” I said.
I walked to the table, now the one in the lead. I tried to walk with some swagger, needing to keep up appearances that I was a tough guy. Honestly, I was shaking from the inside out. I had nobody around that would punish me for this. Nobody gave a damn what I did and when I did it. I was afraid of what Beth would do to me. To Anna. And whatever happened to Anna always reflected on Adena.
Beth moved around me at the table. “Sit.”
I grabbed a chair and plopped down.
She didn’t sit. “Coffee? Tea?”
“How about a beer?” I asked.
Beth raised an eyebrow. She walked to the fridge and opened it. For a second I thought she was going to get me a beer. But then she came walking back with a juice box. A little square apple juice box.
“Here,” she said. “You want to act like a little child, I’ll treat you like one.”
“Funny,” I said.
“You know what’s not funny?” Beth pulled a chair out. “You in Anna’s room at four in the morning.”
“Hey, I wasn’t doing anything…”
“Do you think for one second I believe that?”
“Right. Figures.”
“What figures, Evan?”
“I came over here because she was having a panic attack,” I said. “Okay? That’s the truth. Yeah, have I snuck in here before? Sure. Has she snuck out to hang out with me? Yeah. But you know what? Compared to who she could go out with, I’m the safest bet. I would never let anything happen to her. Let anyone hurt
her. I protect her if we’re out together…”
I stopped talking. That felt good to say.
“Go on,” Beth said.
“With what? She called me and I came over.”
“What was she having a panic attack about?”
“No, no, no,” I said. I smiled. “I’m not doing that. No offense, but if you want to connect with her, you find your own way. I’m not some pawn.” I stood up. “I have nobody. She has you. Her sister. I’m walking the streets at four in the morning and nobody cares.”
I flicked the juice box so it fell over.
I turned.
“Her parents died on this date,” Beth said.
I froze. I glanced back over my shoulder. “Go on…” I said it in a cocky voice.
“Her father got out of jail and her mother picked him up and they decided to celebrate. They, uh, celebrated too hard. He didn’t even make it home to see his own daughters. I don’t know what she remembers about it all,” Beth said. “And I’m always afraid to bring it up because I don’t want her to get upset and lose herself.”
I slowly turned. I grabbed the top of the chair where I had been sitting. “She knows. She remembers. That’s what she was talking to me about. I heard stuff that I never thought I would hear.”
“Yeah,” Beth said. “I guess I know what it’s like to be Adena. You know, have a little sister that’s…”
I left Beth hanging to finish the sentence but she didn’t.
“So you’re really their aunt?”
“Yes. I was a teenager when my parents had a whoops. That whoops was Anna and Adena’s mother. They named her Elia. They blamed themselves for having a baby when they did but from the day she was born Elia was wild. I was obviously an adult, living my life, career and all that, when Elia got tied up with this dumb ass guy named Jon. He was the ultimate bad boy. And they had a baby. They named her Adena. Then they had another baby. They named her Anna.”
“I heard they didn’t like having those babies. Or at least Adena.”
“Yeah,” Beth said. “Well, Adena always had it in her blood to be older than she was.” Beth folded her hands on the table. “Can I ask what you’re doing with her, Evan?”