by Blue Saffire
I force those thoughts aside and go to sit next to him. I peck him on the lips, but Ty has other plans. He pulls me into his lap and devours my mouth. I’m reminded once again how Ty gets me every time. His touch may not have the same instant burning fire that Nico’s simple touches have, but Ty has always known how to touch me just right.
I moan into his mouth, unintentionally encouraging him. Ty pulls my polo over my head and cups my heavy breasts. I arch into him as my body cries for the release it has been denied for far too long. I refuse to use toys. They make me feel like I’m cheating. Ty was my first and I have always planned for him to be my last.
He breaks the kiss and starts to hungrily kiss his way down to my breasts. “I’ve missed you,” he groans. “Damn, you feel so good.”
His words are like ice water. If he missed me so much, where has he been. I go to pull away, but he moves his hands to cup my ass cheeks, feeling the tension in my body he looks up at me with his pale green eyes. His brows dip low. I have never denied Ty, ever, but lately I am just fed up.
“Baby, what is it,” he asks as he kneads my cheeks. “I love you, Reese. Things have been so crazy and hectic. I have so much to make up for. I need you. Please Reese, don’t pull away, Baby.”
And just like that, my Ty shows up. For the first time, in I don’t know how long, the man I thought I married shows up. I love this Ty. The sincerity in his eyes, the light blush on his cheeks as if he is too shy to reveal his feelings to me. This is the Ty I have been looking for.
“I love you,” I say before cupping his stubbled jaw and bring his face to mine. “I missed you so much.”
The words are true. I miss the Ty he is being right now. I miss getting lost in him for hours. I want my husband and I plan to have him. I reach for the hem of his shirt as he reaches to unclasp my bra. We both toss the garments aside and attack each other’s mouths again.
“Yes, Reese, damn, I want you so much,” Ty growls and stands from the couch. His muscled arms wrapping around me and caging me in.
“Ty,” I moan when he starts to suck on my neck. His hand finds its way to the front of my pants and releases the button as he carries me to our room.
“Have you been keeping my pussy tight for me,” Ty rasps in my ear and my head jerks back.
Okay, so I am all for dirty talk. I actually love it. I have always wished Ty did it more. Heck, I have wished that he would do it at all. So I am really thrown to hear those words slip from his lips. I don’t know whether to be turned on or suspicious. Where did this change come from?
Ty is unfazed as he does yet something else that throws me. He pulls my lip between his teeth and bites down, slipping his hand in the back of my pants. Ty is not a nibbler. I squeeze my eyes shut telling myself I am searching for things to find wrong.
For months, I have been wanting to feel this way with my husband and he is giving me what I want. I push my unsettling feelings aside, and allow my body to awaken for him. Ty pulls my shoes from my feet, his were already off when I arrived.
He climbs onto our bed we rarely share. I sigh as I feel his weight on top of me. Ty is no small man; his big body engulfs me within his heat. Ty doesn’t let up his assault. He makes his way down my body and with each wet kiss, I remember a time when everything was perfect.
“Reese,” he groans my name as he pulls my pants and panties down my legs.
I lift my hips to help him. Within seconds, Ty has his face buried between my legs. Oh God, it has been too long. My belly quivers and my legs become weak. I need this so much. I run my hands over his low cut smooth hair.
“Ty,” I cry out.
I am faintly aware of his phone buzzing, but I am so happy he is ignoring it for once. He reaches up to pinch my nipple and I explode. Ty continues to lap up my essence as he moves around to free himself from his jeans.
He climbs my body and kisses me with a sense of desperation that wasn’t there before. He pulls back and looks me in my eyes. Something passes through his green gaze that scares me. I’m not sure what it is, but it makes me uneasy. Ty cups my face.
“You were the first girl to look at me like I was worth shit. You didn’t see a chance to be with a guy that could go pro, you didn’t look at me like shit on the bottom of your shoe like my family,” he says in a distant tone. “I should have treated you better. I need to treat you better.”
I go to reply, but Ty slams into me, causing me to cry out his name instead. His love making is as desperate as his kiss. I reach my climax again, but Ty keeps pounding into me like a man lost and it throws me back in time.
It was three months after I lost our son. We hadn’t had sex in so long. I thought Ty didn’t want me anymore. He came home drunk that night, with tears in his eyes. I thought he was finally letting his grief out for our loss.
“I need you, Reese,” he sobbed into my belly as he crawled his big body into the bed.
My heart broke to see my big man curled into a ball, hovering over me. I cooed soothing words to him as he worked his clothes off and then started on mine. He cradled my body with his, reaching between my legs to get me ready for him. I was so turned on as he sucked on my breast. When he thrust into me, it was with such desperation and force. Like he was trying to claim me all over again.
“I’m sorry, Reese, I’m so sorry,” he moaned and murmured over and over. “I should have treated you better. I should have done better.”
That night was the first time I didn’t feel safe when making love to Ty. It was the first time I felt like he took something from me. It haunted me for a very long time. Something wasn’t right then and something isn’t right now.
“I can’t lose this, I can’t lose you,” Ty grunts when he finds his release.
For the first time in a year, Ty didn’t just roll off of me and fall asleep beside me. He rolls over, carrying me with him and onto his chest. I place my small hands on his chest and let the tears well as he kisses the top of my head.
“I love you, Reese. I swear I do,” Ty whispers.
As my throat tightens, I pretend to have fallen asleep, allowing my breathing to even out. I bite my lip to hold in the sob that wants to run through me. I won’t be made the fool.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Mrs. Grumpy
Reese
Two Months later…
I’m so pissed at myself. It’s me, I let Ty get away with murder. I actually told myself that things were getting better. After the night he finally came home to actually spend time with me, I thought he was changing. I thought things were changing. I pushed away my premonitions and tried to focus on us and rebuilding our marriage. For two whole months, Ty was up my ass like he lost something in there.
Even when he had team obligations, he flew out and right back to be with me. He surprised me with a brand new Maserati, one day out of the blue, just because. On the weekends, we’ve gone on all types of dates; dinner and a movie, sailing, skating, and even bike riding.
So you can imagine my surprise, when I get home last night, to find his travel bag gone, once again without a word, just like before. No note, no call, nothing. I had to call him. I don’t know how I am so surprised.
I think what pisses me off the most, is that I started my period this morning. Ty has fucked me every which way from Sunday and yet I am still not pregnant. I feel like such a failure as a woman. Four years and not one pregnancy since.
I should never have come into work. I am in such a shitty mood and Nico hasn’t been any better. Valentina and Vita haven’t shown up today. I think Valentina had an appointment with her OB, she is seven months along now and getting huge.
I should be excited for my friend, and I am, but it still stings a bit right now. I’m just so frustrated. This is not supposed to be my life. I’m just tired of it all.
“Damn it, Nico, don’t give up on me now,” I growl as Nico does a half ass job of lifting weights.
The weights touch down with a clink beside him and Nico sits up, snapping in my direction. We hav
e been on the mat with me at his side, while he works on his shoulder. With the energy rolling off of him and his eyes narrowed at me, I feel small and lean away from him.
“I don’t know what your problem is today, Bella. But you will not yell at me like some child,” Nico hisses out. “Furthermore, I will not put my body at risk. Your head is not here, Reese. You have been somewhere else since you arrived. You are not focused on me or my body.”
He is right, and I instantly feel like garbage. Tears well in my eyes from all the emotions I have been bottling up. I don’t know where my life is going anymore. I don’t know what has happened to the fairytale I was promised, but this is not it.
I can’t fight back the tears any longer as I look away from Nico in shame. I should never have come here today. Finding Ty gone last night and starting my period this morning, were the last straws. I don’t think I can do this anymore. Everything I am feeling just spills over and I have no way of controlling it.
~B~
Nico
Way to go, Nico. I chide myself in my head.
I feel like complete shit. I didn’t mean to snap at Reese. I am just pissed off that she has that sad look in her eyes once again. It had faded a little over the past two months.
I like to think of her as a friend, she has grown to be a part of my life. Reese has opened up to me more than I think she would have wanted, and I take pride in that. Something tells me she doesn’t give her secrets away easily. So today has more than pissed me off, because for the first time since I first met her, she has spent our entire time together closed off from me.
“I’m sorry,” Reese sobs.
I blow out a heavy breath and wrap my arms around her small body, pulling her into my chest. “Shh, hush, Bella,” I whisper into her hair, but she only cries harder. “Tell me, what is it? How can I make it better?”
“You can’t make it better,” she chokes out. “I’m so tired, Nico. I always find a way to fix everyone else, but I have ignored this for so long. I haven’t tried to fix anything in my own life. I’m a healer, Nico, nevertheless, I haven’t gotten pregnant in four years. I find solutions to problems, yet, I know in my heart that something is very wrong with my marriage. Still, I’ve once again done nothing.
“Honestly, I think I have allowed this to go on with my body because I know Ty is doing wrong. No Nico, you can’t fix this, the only person that can is me. And I have to want to,” she sobs.
I rub circles on her back and rock her from side to side like my mama used to do me. My heart hurts for her. My blood is boiling with rage for her piece of shit husband. He doesn’t deserve her and I had a feeling all along that the change in her today had something to do with him.
“I want you to remember that when you are ready, you are not alone in this. You don’t have to fix this alone. Yes, you have to want to, Bella, and I hope you find the desire to soon. Before this eats away at you, but when you are ready, I am here. You will not have to do this alone,” I reassure her.
“Thanks, Nico. I’m sorry,” Reese pulls out of my arms and wipes at her face. She refuses to look at me as she puts some distance between us.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I know I smell a bit, but you can cry on me a little longer if you like,” I tease to lighten the mood.
Reese cracks a genuine smile. She nudges my arm. “I think I have embarrassed myself enough for one day,” she murmurs with a sad smile.
“Why should you be embarrassed? You have shared worse with me. Remember the story you told me of walking to work with your dress tucked into your stockings. Now that, was embarrassing,” I tease and bark out a deep laugh as I remember the story she shared with me.
Reese groans and rolls her eyes. A small laugh bursts from her full lips as she wipes at her eyes with the tissue she pulls from her pocket. “I don’t know why I told you about that. I knew I was going to regret that one,” she snorts.
“I loved that one. It was almost as good as the one you told me about walking in on your dad going down on your mom,” I chuckle.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe how much I have told you. I never told anyone else of those stories,” this time she gives me a real laugh that brighten her whole face.
“Yes, and you know all of my dirty secrets as well,” I lift a pointed brow. “Are we forgetting about the toilet paper story?”
Reese’s face lights up as she doubles over with laughter. I knew that one would do the trick. I once told her how my teammates took all the paper from the washroom, in my hotel suite. We had gone out for Moroccan food and they all knew I had a shit stomach for the stuff.
You can imagine how that night ended. I brought Reese to tears the first time I told her that story. My heart swells to see it work once again. This time she is swiping away happy tears when she looks back up at me. Her face softens as she looks me in the eyes. I know she knows what I am doing.
Reese has come to know me as well as I know her. I clear my throat, when I realize that we are just staring at each other. I look down at my palms as if they can tell me how to turn back time. I would turn it back to before she met her husband, to a time when I could cup her sweet face and devour her plump lips. A time, when I could make her mine and cause her to smile all the time.
“I lost my son, when I was six months pregnant,” Reese starts causing me to lift my head and look at her. “Ty and I were so happy then. I found out I was pregnant right after the honeymoon. We had always planned to have a big family,” she pauses and releases a deep breath. Shaking her head, she continues. “They don’t know what happened. I just lost him. One day I was fine, the next I started spotting and it didn’t stop.
“I was devastated. The doctors made it sound so natural for this to happen. They told me I was young, I had time,” she laughs bitterly. “Right, well, I haven’t gotten pregnant since. That was four years ago. At first, I thought Ty was reacting to the loss of our son. I thought all of our problems stemmed from that.”
She stops talking for a few minutes and I just observe her. She is fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. Her long lashes are low, creating long shadows on her cheeks. She blinks and I can see the moisture collect on them. It takes everything in me not to reach for her and pull her into my lap. Her breath hitches as she goes to continue.
“Now that I think about it. I think I have been missing so much for so long. I swear Nico, I love Ty with everything I am, but something is not right. I can feel it. I’ve been trying to ignore it for so long, but it is starting to wear on me. I think I deserve better, you know,” she looks up into my eyes with her last words.
I can’t reply the way I want to, so I clench my jaw and give her a curt nod. She does deserve better and I want to give her better. As I look into her face, I see Reese the most vulnerable I have ever seen her. Her eyes are pleading for understanding and it is something else that guts me into a million pieces, because I can’t give it to her.
She laughs lightly. “Was that too heavy for our sharing time,” she whispers.
“No, you can tell me anything. I will always be here when you need me,” I reply sincerely.
“Why aren’t you taken, Nico?” she says with a sad smile.
“I am,” I say as I look deep into her eyes. “My heart belongs to someone. I just can’t have hers.”
Reese’s breath shutters through her lips and she once again looks away from me. “There’s this song, it’s about a woman that wants this guy, but she is in a relationship. So she tells him she’ll see him next lifetime,” Reese gives a soft laugh.
“Erykah Badu,” I say with a smile on my lips.
Reese snaps her head back in my direction. “Yeah, how’d….”
“I told you, I love music. You’d be surprised by the songs I know. You have a lot to learn about me, Reese,” I laugh.
“I guess I do. I appreciate you being a friend, Nico. My girls are there when I need them, but they have never liked Ty. If I go to them with this, I will get a bias response. Right now, I just nee
d someone to listen. Thank you,” she says.
“You’re welcome, but Reese,” I say making sure to catch her eyes.
“Yes?”
“If he fucks up, and you decide to leave him. Game on, Baby. I’m not waiting for a next lifetime. I’m claiming what should be mine,” I say with conviction.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Hidden Talents
Reese
I’m still stunned by Nico’s words from our earlier conversation. No matter what I suspect of Ty, I have no intentions of cheating on my husband. However, I would be lying if I said Nico’s words didn’t shake me to my core. I felt them as more of a promise than a statement and I believe that is what he meant for me to feel.
I once again, was grateful to him as he led us into a natural banter afterward. All heavy talk was forgotten as we ended his session. Our conversation left me feeling like a weight has been lifted.
I should have gone home right after his session, especially since Valentina and Vita still aren’t here as a buffer between us. Instead, I allowed Nico to talk me into having lunch with him. I really don’t want to be alone with my thoughts, so I conceded.
Nico had Tony go out to get us sandwiches as we discuss Nico’s progress. Nico has come such a long way. Nico hasn’t used his crutch in two weeks, much to his pleasure. He is getting stronger and stronger with each day. His slight limp will be a thing of the past all too soon.
“You know I’ll be ready to dance soon,” Nico teases with a smile. “I think we should get everyone together and go out to celebrate. You have done what I didn’t think anyone would be able to do. My mother and sister want to meet you and thank you.”
I give a small smile. “You have done the work. I just helped you set the stage for your healing. We still have a way to go, but I think you are doing amazing,” I reply.
“I had motivation. You promised me a dance,” Nico winks at me.
“No, I promised I would make it so you could dance again,” I laugh.