I tap the button but it won’t come on. I never turned my phone off, so what the hell? I look at Blaine but all he does is grab my bag and ask if I’m ready to go. I walk briskly out the room towards the exit. I’m ready to be home, more than ready.
My phone powers on and messages start popping up left and right. All of them from Cory and each one more frantic than the other. My heart rate speeds up as I begin to read them one after another.
Cory: I’m trying to call you where are you?
Cory: Dammit Sybil, call me it’s important!!
Cory: Leave the hotel NOW, get out of there. Blaine isn’t who you think he is. He works for those people. You’re scaring me, call me.
Panic takes over and I try to stay as calm as I can. My heart is pounding in my chest and I’m terrified. Blaine is one of the bad guys, and oh my god I slept with him. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I can’t cry. Blaine will know something is up. Why is this happening to me? There’s a few messages from Cory that I haven’t read yet so I try my best to act normal as he starts the truck and begins driving home. He’s making conversation with me like nothing is wrong, it’s like I was never supposed to figure this out. I’ve slept with the enemy and I’m nothing more than a pawn in his game.
I begin to read the rest of the messages to see what else Cory had to say.
Cory: Answer your fucking phone, Sybil. Megan is dead.
My whole world comes to a screeching halt. Megan is dead? I want to scream. I want to punch the windshield. Instead, I start ugly crying right there in the cab of the truck.
“What’s wrong?” Blaine asks. I want to tell him how much I hate him and I know everything but this isn’t the time for that. Not until I’m home and around other people.
“I need to get home. Now. Megan is dead.” I whisper continuing to cry.
His eyes grow wide and he suddenly steps on the gas. With shaky hands, I fumble to call Cory. I’m not there for him and it’s killing me. He tried to contact me and my phone was off.
“Where the hell are you Sybil?” Cory answers. He sounds like hell and I know more than anyone what he’s going through.
“On my way home now. What the fuck happened Cory?” I ask.
“Now you care? Where were you when I called you last night? Did he fucking hurt you Sybil?”
“Quit it, Cory! No, I just got all your messages. I’m freaking out, ok? I’m a few minutes from home, I’m coming.”
“Yeah I bet you did that all last night too and that’s why you ignored us and now Megan is dead, so I hope you’re happy.” End of call.
Tears stream down my face. I keep telling myself he’s just hurt and that’s why he’s acting this way. I mean just a few months ago, he lost his best friend and now his girlfriend is dead.
Blaine gets us home in record time and I grab my bag and jump out of the truck. I walk up to him and slap him across his face. “What the fuck is that for?” he says with a raised voice.
“I fucking hate you. I know who you are and I can’t believe I fell for your shit.” I hiss. “Get the fuck away from me, I never want to see you again.”
“I fucking saved you Sybil. I could have taken care of this weeks ago but I tried to save you.” He spits out.
“I told you from the beginning, I didn’t need your fucking help. You fucking knew about Caleb and you played me for a fool! You had something to do with Megan’s death didn’t you? I suggest you leave now.”
“Let me explain, does that sound familiar? No, I had nothing to do with her death. Did Caleb ever make you moan like I made you moan last night? Answer that for me.” he says smugly.
I rear my hand back again and before I can slap him he catches my hand. I struggle to pull my hand away but he holds it tighter.
“I hate you, let me go.”
“Get your fucking hands off her, asshole.” Cory says as he runs up to me and pushes Blaine. Blaine pushes back before Cory connects his fist with his jaw. He never gets a hit on Cory and I’m silently cheering on the inside. “Your boss got his fucking money now get the fuck out of here. If I see you again, I’ll fucking kill you.”
“Fuck you, I tried to help her.”
“You fucking ruined her!” Cory yells pushing him again. Blaine looks like he’s about to retaliate but instead he climbs in his truck and peels out leaving Cory and I standing alone in front of his apartment.
I turn to look at Cory but he won’t look at me. He stalks back to the front door. I half expect him to slam it and keep me out but he keeps it open. He’s pacing inside as I walk in. I walk up to him and try to put my arms around him but he jerks away. When he looks at me, his eyes are red from crying. He fights me off but I don’t stop until my arms are wrapped around him and I hug him as tightly as I can.
“I’m so sorry, Cor.” I whisper knowing my words won’t really help.
“Where were you?” he cried. “I called and called, I needed you and you weren’t there.”
Guilt and anger surge through my veins as I rethink the events of last night. I feel dirty for having Blaine touch me in the most intimate places and then have to find out he was the enemy all along. It hits me like a ton of bricks, Blaine turned my fucking phone off. It’s his fault I didn’t get any of my messages.
“He turned my phone off. I didn’t know Cor, I swear. I would have left in a heartbeat. I’d have taken his truck while he was sleeping and come straight here. Please tell me what happened.”
He stares off at nothing before finally speaking. “I was with Caleb’s dad. We were making plans to meet with these people and that’s when the PI called and gave him names. I knew that motherfuckers name the minute I heard it and that’s when I tried to contact you first. You were never safe with him and I knew it. I’ll never forgive myself if something would have happened. Megan texted me saying she needed to go to the store so she was taking your truck. About an hour later, we get a call from the cops that the truck was run off the road. She flipped a few times before stopping. She didn’t die right away. She fucking suffered and no one was there for her. Someone happened to catch the plate number of the vehicle and traced him back to the people Blaine works for. It was supposed to be you.”
My face turns white as he tells me that. I clasp my hand over my mouth as sobs escape. They tried to kill me but Megan just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m so angry right now, at Blaine, but at Caleb most of all. If it weren’t for his stupidity and idiotic decisions then we wouldn’t be in this situation. Lives wouldn’t be taken for no reason.
“I hate Caleb for doing this to us.” I sob. “None of this is fair. Why do we have to suffer for his mistakes? I feel like I didn’t even know him at all.”
As much as I loved Caleb, I don’t know that I feel the same way now because if someone loved you they wouldn’t subject you to half of what we’ve been subjected to. It just shows how selfish he was. He didn’t care about us at all. Because of Caleb, I was tricked and manipulated by a guy that I had no idea was bad. Blaine used me, he fucked me and got what he wanted all along. I’ve never know so much hurt in my life and I wish it would just go away.
“Me neither. And Megan’s family is poor, they don’t have the money to do anything for her. I don’t know what’s going to happen. They didn’t even know about me.”
I look at him incredulously. I realize now that I also knew nothing about Megan. She was the best friend I’ve ever had and now she’s gone. No more girl to girl talks where she helps me through all of life’s problems, no more 80’s night. No more anything, because of Caleb.
“I’m not leaving you alone Cory.” I say quietly.
“What’s it matter, Sybil? Does it really fucking matter? I made Caleb a damn promise because he was my best damn friend and he fucking played us. We’ve lost everything and you weren’t there when I needed you.”
“I’m here now, Cory!” I yell out of frustration.
“It’s not the same and you know it! You were off fucking Blaine, th
e worst one of all and I was here sucking air!”
“I said I’m sorry, Cory! You’re the one who sent me away!”
“So it’s my fault? Unbelievable. I never want to hear Caleb’s name again.” He cries.
“Neither do I.” I whisper. “I’m really not leaving you alone. You didn’t let me stay alone, and yes, I fucked up last night but I’m making it up to you.”
“I don’t want you here Sybil. I don’t want anyone here. I want to be alone.” He spits out harshly.
I take a step back and try to dry my tears. “Let me be there for you, Cory.”
“Whatever. I’m going out, I’ll be back later.”
I take his keys and stuff them down my shirt. Cory won’t dare touch me so it’s safe. He glares at me before grabbing my hand. “Give me my keys.”
“No, you’re staying here Cory. You’re in no condition to be going anywhere.”
“What are you my mother?” he mocks stepping a little closer to me.
I roll my eyes and pull the keys from my shirt. I dangle them in front of his face. “Here, I’m not arguing with you. Go be stupid and maybe when you get to the afterlife you can tell Caleb how much we hate him.”
“I said I didn’t want to hear his name. You win Sybil. Stay, I don’t care but please just let me be.”
“Fine.” I say. I remember all too well what it means to grieve someone I love, so I watch him stalk off to his room and shut the door. I hear him cry and it breaks my heart but I told him I’d let him be, so that’s what I do. If it weren’t for the fact that Caleb’s unsuspecting mother handed me this pearl necklace, I would rip it from my skin. I don’t want it touching me, it suddenly feels tainted. I carefully remove it and place it on the bookshelf. So I don’t have to see it, I set it behind a book. I put my head in my hands and cry. I never want to go back inside that apartment again, not with his stuff in there. I don’t want to look at any of his pictures, I don’t want to look at anything. I won’t throw it away. Maybe I can bring it to his parent’s or to a storage building. I don’t care where it goes, as long as it’s not around me.
You think you know someone, but in the end you know nothing and it’s you who gets burned. I played with fire and it didn’t just burn me, it scorched me. I’ll probably never be repaired. I’ll be forever broken because of the love of one boy.
Chapter 23
Cory
I’m sad. More than anything, I’m fucking angry. I loved Caleb like a brother my entire life and he screwed me over. When he killed himself, I had no clue what was going on. Now I know more than I ever wanted to know and I hate him. What the fuck was he thinking doing this to us? Most importantly, to Sybil. I watched her cry many nights. I held her through some of the toughest moments after he died. Not only did I lose him, but I lost Megan. We’d only been dating a year, out of that year we’d lived together for about seven months. Now Sybil and I are alone. I’m ashamed of the things I told her tonight, but what the hell was I supposed to say? I needed her more than anything and I couldn’t get ahold of her. Do I believe that asshole turned her phone off? I do. He fucking knew I was onto him and he knew it was coming. I blame Blaine but I can’t help but point all the blame to the guy who claimed to be my best friend.
I’m sitting alone in my room when I should be out there talking to Sybil. Megan wasn’t just my girlfriend, she was Sybil’s friend. An hour has passed and if I sit in here any longer, I’ll lose my mind. I stand up wiping my eyes of any tears that remain and walk towards the door. I let my hand linger on the doorknob for several seconds before finally opening it. The quietness is deafening, my ears are ringing and I almost retreat back to my room but I see Sybil standing in the kitchen making a sandwich. She wipes a tear from her cheek as she turns to put the knife in the sink. Her eyes lock with mine for a minute and they quickly look away. I don’t blame her, I was an asshole earlier.
She walks past me not even acknowledging me, I deserve that. I get it, I’m getting the silent treatment. I did ask her to let me be but I figured she would at least try to talk. I walk over to the fridge and grab two beers. She’s sitting on the couch slowly nibbling on her sandwich. I sit beside her and hold the beer out to her. She looks at the beer then at me. She stares at me for a moment before accepting the beer. Her hand holds mine for a minute and she gives it a small squeeze.
“I’ll never forgive myself, Cor.” She whispers.
“I don’t want to talk about that, Sybil. I’m sorry for everything I said.”
“You had every right to say what you did.” She returns to her sandwich and takes a sip of the beer. We sit there in absolute silence. She doesn’t look at me and I officially feel like shit.
What are two broken people supposed to do? Last night after I got the news about Megan, I took all her pictures and stuffed them in a box. I couldn’t look at her face without losing my mind. The last conversation we held played over and over again in my head,. She was onto how I felt about Sybil and there was nothing I could do to make that go away. I don’t know how Sybil did it when Caleb died. I attempt to make conversation a few more times with her but she’s doing just what I asked. I’m frustrated and wondering why the hell I walked out of the room. I thought she’d at least talk to me and we could make up since we’re all each other has to lean on.
I stand up and walk over to the counter where my keys are. I grab them and she finally looks up at me. “I’ll be back.”
I walk out before she can protest and I climb into the truck not stopping until I reach the nearest bar.
***
Sybil
Cory walked out before I could try to stop him again. He’s so up and down right now, I don’t know if he wanted to be stopped. He needs time alone, I understand that. I’ve been there, I lived it. I’m disgusted with myself as the events of last night flash through my mind. I stand up immediately and run to the shower. I stand in the shower letting the hot water purge my skin. Once I’m satisfied that every trace of Blaine is gone, I step out and dry off. Hours pass and Cory isn’t back yet. I’m not sure if I should worry, but I already am. He’s in no shape to drive or go anywhere but at the same time he’s a grown man and I can’t stop him.
I decide to lie on the couch until he comes in, but the hours continue to pass and I eventually fall asleep. I’m tormented in my dreams as Caleb’s face haunts them. There’s too much in them that I can’t deal with right now, things I don’t want to ever think about again. I wake up sweating in a panic when I hear my phone ringing. I don’t recognize the number, but I answer it anyway.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Is this Sybil?” the man on the other end asks.
“Y-Yes,” I answer cautiously.
“This is Greg from Frank’s Bar. We have Cory here, he’s in pretty bad shape and he’s asking for you.”
Fuck. I have no way to get to him because I don’t have a vehicle anymore. Luckily for me, Frank’s is just about a block away so I put my shoes on and start walking.
Relief washes over me when I realize I can walk without fear of being followed. I feel safe again and I am happy about that. A few other people are walking and that makes me feel even safer. I walk a few more minutes before I’m standing in front of the doors of Frank’s. I take a deep breath as I pull the door open. The music fills my ears, it’s happy music, but I know Cory is anything but happy. I look around for him and when I don’t see him I approach the bar.
The bartender smiles at me and I try my best to smile back. “My name is Sybil, Greg called me about Cory. Do you know where he is?”
“Follow me.” she says.
She leads me back towards the restrooms. I watch all the people having fun without a care in the world. I miss those days. She passes the restrooms and approaches a door a few feet away. She turns the knob and there is Cory sitting beside a box with his head in his lap.
“Oh, here’s his keys when you can get him moving. Greg handed them to me.”
I thank her and she walks off leaving me
alone with Cory. I’m not sure if he even realizes anyone is standing in the room with him. He looks like a zombie. I kneel down beside him and place my hand on his back.
“Cory, come on let’s go home.”
“I don’t have a home. I don’t have anything.” He slurs.
“You have me. Now come on, please.”
“Just leave me here Sybil, I want to be alone. Her parents called me. They are cremating her and aren’t doing a service at all. It’s done. There’s nothing I can do.”
I sigh as I rub his back. I want to cry but I have to be strong for him. “Cory, I’m so sorry. Come on, you can’t stay here in this bar. They will eventually kick you out. You’re drunk.”
“How did you find me?”
“They called me and I walked here.”
“You’re like my beautiful angel aren’t you?” he says as he slowly picks his head up.
I look at him funny knowing it’s just the alcohol talking. I stand up and reach for his hand. Slowly, he places his hand in mine and I help him up. He offers me a drunken smile and I help him slowly walk through the bar and out the doors. He stopped and dry heaved the minute the air hit him. I stood beside him rubbing his back, offering him any kind of help I could. When he was ok, I helped him into his truck and drove home.
He lays his head against the window and whispers, “What are we supposed to do?”
I park the truck and look at him. “I don’t know.”
I climb out and help him get into the apartment. He stumbles inside accidentally knocking a vase over. It shatters all over the floor and I look at him sympathetically. I instruct him to sit in one of the kitchen chairs so I can sweep up the mess. He watches me as I empty the dustpan into the trashcan.
“You’re too good to me Sybil.” He murmurs.
“That’s what friends do.” I reply as I help him out of the chair.
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