“Yes you are, sweetie.” I repeatedly shook my head before a few tears traveled down my cheeks. “Cassandra, what’s wrong?”
“Miles and I are gonna be together, but like legally this time.”
“What?” she sat up, frowning.
“Ma, he said if I don’t marry him he’s gonna take Melody and I know he can. He’s got way more going for him than I do, and any judge in their right mind would give him full custody over me,” I sobbed.
“Cassandra, no, baby.” She laid my head on her chest.
“I have to, Mama. I can’t let him have her. I don’t mind sacrificing so she can live well. If I leave her with him, I don’t know what he would do to her. And I just can’t be away from her.”
“Honey, you’re her mother, and courts usually always want to keep the child with the mother. You cannot be with that man, Cassandra. He’s abusive and he may not be hitting Melody now, but what about when she gets older? Or what if he kills you? Then he’ll be alone with her anyway. Go ahead and fight him, baby, I promise you will not lose. You’re a great mother, and everyone that knows you knows that.”
“I would need a phenomenal lawyer though,” I whined softly, feeling a little hopeful. “One better than Miles and his own lawyer.”
I would be basically up against two lawyers, and the thought was scary.
“I know one, a very good one.”
“How do you know lawyers in California, Ma?”
“I’ve been dating one this whole time.”
Picking my head up off her chest to look up into her eyes, I asked, “Ned? Ned’s a lawyer?”
Ned was this guy that my mom had been dating for a while. I’d only met him once when he came to pick her up, and that was because they were traveling together. Before that, I thought she was lying because I’d never seen him and she hadn’t let me meet him yet.
“Yes, he’s a lawyer, and I’d bet he’d be willing to help you.”
“Could you ask him for me? I really need somebody that is gonna make sure I win. I can’t lose Melody, Ma. And I just can’t be with Miles either.”
“Of course I will ask him, but you will need to sit and talk with him on your own.”
I just nodded.
“Should I tell Kordell what’s happening?”
“Didn’t you say he’d make things worse?”
“Yeah, he’d beat Miles up.”
“Then wait a little bit honey. He will understand.”
“Ready!” Melody came running in. “Mommy cry, why?” she pouted.
“Because I’m happy, Mel. And we can play nail shop tonight, okay?”
“Yay!!!”
After leaving my mother’s, I took Melody to see her father before he left town tonight. Like always, he threatened me a few times, letting me know if I tried to leave town or pull another stunt, he was gonna take her and have someone do me in. I wasn’t too sure if Ned could actually help me get the results I wanted, so instead of going at it with Miles, I just let him talk his shit.
By the time I left there it was around 6pm, since he wouldn’t let us leave until he had to go to the airport. Melody and I stopped to have a late lunch, and then headed home since it was getting dark.
When I opened the door to the apartment, I was met with a room full of people. It was like a kickback, intimate, but still a nice amount of folks. I’d totally forgotten that Kady wanted to have a party, even though she’d told me two days ago. I guess because I was on my way out the door at the time, the information didn’t stick.
“Delly!” Melody shouted and rushed off to him. I watched him set his red cup down on the counter, and scoop her up with the biggest smile on his face. She hugged his neck tightly as I closed the front door and bobbed my head to the music playing.
I spoke to Laine, Mischief, Kady, Ishmael, Chaz, Erynne, a couple of The Models that I still liked, except Farrah’s shady ass, and then said hello to the people I didn’t know.
Seeing Farrah watch Kordell talk to another girl with an angry face like he was hers, I made my way over to her.
“So you can go,” I said.
“Why?” She looked to me, knotting her face up even more.
“Because this is my place, and I don’t want you here. And obviously neither does Kordell. When he feels the urge to nut on something, I’m sure he’ll give you a holler.”
She just sucked her teeth, and walked towards the door and mumbled, “Weak ass party anyway.”
After making Farrah’s hoe ass leave, I finally made my way over to Kordell. He was holding Melody and conversing with her, while some bitch waited by for his attention again.
“Hey, umm, I will take her. I have to get her ready for bed.” We’d have to play nail shop tomorrow night.
“Nooooo!” Melody cried.
“I’ll read you a story if you listen to your mommy, Mel,” Kordell smiled.
He looked so sexy in his black baseball jersey shirt, dark jeans, and all black Chucks. His golden-brown dreads were pulled back, and his facial hair had grown out some more, giving him a rough, sexy look. His watch blinded me when he reached up to smooth Melody’s hair back with his big hand, as she played with his chain.
“Okay,” Melody pouted.
“Kordell, you don’t have to read—” I took her from him.
“I already said I would. If I didn’t want to I wouldn’t have offered.” His voice was cold, callous, and dry. He didn’t even look at me when he spoke, he just stared down at the girl in his face, while drinking.
“Right, okay, thanks.”
I went to my bedroom to get Melody’s pajamas and other things, before leading her to the bathroom. I would usually dress her in my room, but I didn’t want to bring her out of the bathroom in a towel with all these people here. Once Melody was clean, dressed, and had brushed her teeth, I took her to the bedroom, waving to Kordell on the way. He came in a few short seconds after us, closed the door, and then grabbed a book from Melody’s small pink bookshelf. Like always, she was asleep before he even finished.
“Thanks, Kordell.”
“No problem.” He put the book up. “Have a good rest of the night.” He left the bedroom.
I sighed heavily, wishing we could go back to old times, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. Once he found out my reasoning for breaking up with him, he’d be done with me anyway.
“Aye, I—” he walked into the room as I was changing, so I quickly covered myself with my t-shirt. His face was balled up as he came in and locked the door. Moving towards me, he pulled the shirt from my hands, and then turned me to the side to inspect the bruise around my ribcage. “Fuck happened to you?”
“I bumped into something.” Really, Miles had gripped me too roughly. I was gonna get pictures of it though for my case.
“Into what?”
“I forgot, but yeah, it’s fine.”
Folding his strong tatted arms across his chest, he stared down at me angrily.
“A nigga really wanted to be with yo’ ass. Got me attached to your baby and shit, just for you to bounce on me for a nigga who don’t even respect you enough to keep his hands to himself.”
How did he know there was another man involved?
“You know about—”
“All I know is you got another nigga. I can tell by the way you came at me that night. But check this out, you can let that nigga fuck you up all you want, but he better not touch her over there, or it’s gonna be a fucking problem.”
“Kordell—”
His angry chuckle cut me off. He stroked his beard and licked his lips as he stared down at me, before crossing his arms again.
“For some fucking reason, knowing that nigga hit you got me hot, even though I shouldn’t give a fuck about what happens to yo’ ass.”
He left the room before I could say anything. I just locked the door behind him, and sat down on my bed. I hoped like hell Ned could help me, because I wanted my old life with Kordell back. Whatever I had to do, I was gonna do it.
L
aine
My phone jolted me from my thoughts, so I snatched it up and hit stop on the alarm. Sitting up, I stared across my bedroom for a little bit, wondering if I was ready to find out something I’d been wondering about for the past week.
Taking a deep breath, I got off the bed and went into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I used my teeth to remove the hair tie from my wrist so I could pin my hair up. I’d had a photo shoot earlier this morning, so my weave was in big loose curls all over my head.
“Here we go,” I mumbled and then slowly looked down at the pregnancy test sitting on the sink.
It was positive just like I knew it would be, but I guess I was hoping I’d been wrong. For the past few days I’d been searching my symptoms on the Internet, hoping it could be something else, but deep down I already knew.
Thankfully, all the girls were out tonight, so I felt comfortable enough to leave the test on the sink while I got a Ziploc bag from the kitchen to put it in. As I grabbed the box from the cabinet, I heard the bathroom door close so I jumped. I guess everyone wasn’t gone.
Before I could do anything, Cassie yelled, “Laine!”
“Laine!” Melody yelled right after her. I chuckled because she was the cutest thing. I found it adorable how much she wanted to be like her mother, and how she felt like she was one of us girls.
I rushed over to the bathroom to see Cassie standing by the sink, and Melody looking through Kady’s make-up bag that she’d left on the hamper.
“Hey,” I smiled, leaning in the doorway. “Need something?”
“You’re gonna have a baby?”
“I don’t know. I mean after losing the other one, I kind of want to keep this one, but now doesn’t seem like a good time. Shai and I are both coming up right now, and a baby may… I don’t know… ruin that. Don’t you think? I mean you have experience with this stuff.”
“Laine— Melody, put that down. Go pull out your Play-Doh and I will be in there in a minute, okay?” Cassie removed the lipstick from Melody’s little hands. Melody rushed off to Cassie’s bedroom. “I understand what you mean, Laine, but honestly, I don’t think a baby will ruin anything for your career. It may put it on hold for a little bit, but it won’t end it. Plus, I don’t think Mischief will agree to an abortion.”
“It’s my body, not his.”
“That’s what you think,” she smiled, making us both laugh together.
“Well, I’m about to go over to his place. I may be back tonight. I’m not sure. I may have to kill his ass.” I put the test in the Ziploc bag.
“Oh my gosh, Laine,” Cassie chuckled before backing me out of the bathroom and closing the door.
I went to grab my purse and jacket, then peeked my head in Cassie’s room to say bye to Melody. When I got out to my new used car, I saw Rico was calling my phone so I hit the ignore button.
I hadn’t gotten far when I saw what looked like Tara, walking down the street, texting on her phone. She had on a short, slinky black dress with black pumps. Her curly blond hair was hanging down her back, sweeping her tailbone. Tara was one of The Models, but the only work she really got was when someone would hire all of us to attend an event.
Pulling over to the side, I hit the button on my window to roll it down and yelled her name. She stopped to see who I was, and then made this weird face like she’d been caught.
“Do you need a ride?”
“Ummm,” she looked around for a little bit. “I was gonna get an Uber home—”
“Tara, no. Get in the car.”
She stepped down to pull the door open, and slid into the passenger seat. Once she had the seatbelt on, I pulled off, heading towards the mansion instead of Mischief’s place.
“Thank you, Laine.”
“No problem. What are you doing out here so late?”
Laughing she said, “Don’t act like you don’t know. Trust me, I won’t get offended.” I glanced at her, to see her sparkly blue eyes.
“I’m sorry, Tara, but I don’t know.”
“I was working. Just got finished and I was about to catch an Uber home.”
“Working? It’s after 8:30. Was there a party that I didn’t know about? I thought parties required us all, even if only one of us was asked to host.” I was slightly annoyed, thinking Jude was penalizing Cassie, Kady, and me for not living in the house anymore. I needed all the money I could get, especially since I’d just bought this used car, and now had rent to pay.
“No, no party, just a client.”
“Client?” I came to a stop at the red light so I looked her way.
“Wow, you’re really playing the fool,” she chuckled. “Look, when you get a lot of jobs and bookings like I used to, and like you, Cassie, Rita, and Kady do now, life is good. But when or if your bookings slow up or stop coming in at all, you have to earn your keep in other ways.”
“Other ways?”
“Yeah, other ways. Whether you’re booking jobs or not, Jude still has to get ten percent of something, so he’ll find work for you. Sometimes it’s a modeling job, and sometimes it’s a night with a very rich male celebrity. But the upside is, a lot of times you and that male celebrity end up dating for a little bit,” she chuckled then sighed. “I was with a boxer tonight.” She looked at the side of my face and said, “Matt Domlin.”
I couldn’t believe what the fuck I was hearing. All those rumors about Jude and The Models had been true. For a moment I didn’t have anything to say in response because I was baffled.
“Why do you do it, Tara? You can just tell him no or go to the police.” I pulled into the driveway of The Model mansion.
“Yeah well, Marie tried that. I’m sure you have no idea who she is, and that’s exactly why I won’t be opening my mouth. Jude has a lot of power in the industry. How do you think we get on so fast? But hey, thanks for the ride, Laine. And don’t trip, just keep up the good work that you’re doing and you’ll never have the problem that me and a couple other girls have.”
She got out of the car and I waited until she got inside of the house. I wasn’t in the mood to see anybody, so I texted Mischief and told him I wasn’t feeling well. Rico called me three more times on my way back home, so I just powered my phone off.
As soon as I got inside the apartment, I went to Cassie’s room to let her know what I’d just found out. I’d have to talk to Mischief about the baby later.
Chaz
Two days later…
I woke up feeling terrible as hell. Yesterday morning, Kordell and I signed the contract with Static, so we all went out to celebrate. There was no arguing between my brothers and cousin; we just for real celebrated. I do wish there was some way I could get Kordell and Mischief to be how we used to be, because even when they didn’t bicker, the divide was still obvious. We were too close for that bullshit.
Anyway, now I was paying for getting fucked up, because my head was pounding like a muthafucka. I moved my body from being under Erynne’s, and climbed out of the bed. We decided to stay in a hotel, because I didn’t like fucking in a house full of people. Granted most nights the girls weren’t home, so Erynne and I were alone, but it was nothing for them to spring up late at night and hear us fucking.
I made my way to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Erynne and I damn near ransacked CVS since we were drunk, so I had the necessary tools here. I didn’t want to have to stop by my crib last night, so that’s why we went.
After flossing and rinsing, I hopped into the shower thinking about how today was gonna go. I had to pick up some papers from my lawyer and take them to Jade. Hopefully our divorce went smoothly, but I wasn’t too sure since she and I hadn’t talked much since I told her we needed space. I’d been staying with Kordell since he and Cassie had broken up and I wouldn’t have to listen to them smashing.
“Started without me?” Erynne smiled widely as I stepped out the shower, grabbing a towel from the wall.
“You looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you.” I pinched her ass and she jumped
as she brushed her teeth.
I went to open them cheap ass boxers I got from the pharmacy, and after putting them on, I threw on the jeans and shirt I wore yesterday. All the shit I had at Kordell’s needed to be washed, so I would have to go to my apartment to get something to wear before seeing my lawyer. Luckily Jade would be at work, so I wouldn’t have to see her until later.
“We should go have breakfast, I’m starving!” Erynne yelled from the bathroom.
“Baby, I can’t. I have to go home and change, and then I have to meet with my lawyer so I can pick up the paperwork for separation.”
She came out of the bathroom, and folded her arms across her chest.
“Why? Can’t you have someone deliver them? That’s what people always do.”
“Yeah, I could have a courier deliver them, Erynne, but that’s not how I want to do shit. I ain’t talked to or seen her since I asked for some space. I’m not about to just have somebody drop this shit off to her. And we need to talk about other things, like when would be a good time to meet with a mediator so it won’t be drawn out and messy.”
“Okay, but I’m still not understanding why you need to see her now? Don’t you think it’s a good thing that you haven’t seen or talked to her since you asked for space? Text her about the mediator, and then see her when you guys visit him or her.”
“No… Erynne. She wasn’t some girlfriend that I dated, baby; she’s my wife. She deserves a conversation from me and if you don’t understand that then I don’t know what the fuck to tell you.”
“You’re sure you want a divorce?”
I chuckled and shook my head before snatching my phone off the nightstand next to the bed. I wasn’t in the mood for her paranoid shit. I not only told Erynne I wanted a divorce, but I showed her with my actions. I wasn’t about to keep trying to prove some shit to her that she already knew. I looked around to make sure I had everything, and then started towards the door.
“Chaz! Answer me!”
“See you later, baby.” I closed the door behind myself and left the hotel in an Uber since she drove us here.
After stopping by Kordell’s to get my car, I headed towards the apartment I shared with Jade, which wasn’t too far.
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