by Suzanne Hart
When we were finally alone, I turned to Jared and sucked in my stomach.
“Mona wasn’t supposed to tell you,” I blurted.
Jared removed his jacket and hung it off the back of my couch. He nodded his head.
“Yes, I know. She predicted that you might hate her for it,” he replied.
“I do hate her for it!”
“Don’t — this isn’t her fault. She wanted me to know because she didn’t want any more secrets between us,” he said.
Jared was standing some distance from me, with his hands in his pockets. He looked devastatingly handsome, his gray eyes deep and glittering with anticipation.
“You’re the one who’s been keeping secrets from me, Jared. For ten years! You could have just told me what my parents said!” My voice was shrill, like a cry. I was so afraid that it was too late for us. Too much had happened to change anything now.
“I couldn’t Elsie, because they were right,” he replied, in a low, deep voice.
“Right about what? They didn’t know anything! They had no clue how I felt!” I screamed.
My lips were quivering; I was barely able to speak. I just didn’t want to break down into tears again. I was so tired of crying.
“They knew how you felt, Elsie. They knew how I felt too. If either of us confessed our feelings to each other, we would have done something stupid,” Jared said. He was taking slow, measured steps towards me. My body was shaking. I felt faint. If he came any closer to me, I thought I would fall.
“What do you mean, stupid?” I mumbled.
“I was crazy about you, Elsie. I would have been stupid enough to ask you to marry me. Would you have said yes?” Jared asked.
He came to a stop right in front of me. I could breathe in his scent…a luxurious, woody cologne.
I nodded my head. Of course, I would have said yes. There was nothing I wanted more than to spend the rest of my life with Jared.
“Then you’d have been a married woman at eighteen. I would have been a husband to someone who deserved way more than me. More than a loser who worked at a garage. Not even a certified mechanic yet. What would we live on? How would we survive? Your life would have turned into another failed teenage tragedy. Your parents saved you from that,” Jared explained.
I shook my head. My tears were threatening to erupt again. I didn’t want to hear any of that. He was wrong! We would have made it. We would have found a way out!
“Listen to me, Elsie…” Jared reached for my cheeks and pressed his hands to them tightly. He was forcing me to look up at him, to meet his eyes.
“I left town so that we didn’t do anything stupid. I left and went to LA to make something of myself, so that I finally did something to deserve you. I wanted to prove it to your parents, that I wasn’t worthless,” Jared said.
“So, why didn’t you just tell me? Why didn’t you call me or write to me when you got a decent job? Or when you formed your company? Why!” I cried.
Jared stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. I was melting to a puddle in my shoes. When he looked at me, I felt naked. Like he could see right through me.
“Because I was never going to be good enough for you, Elsie. You are smart and intelligent and successful. You have a huge heart…I mean, look at the kind of work you do,” he replied. I tried to shake my head, but he kept holding my cheeks, keeping it straight.
“Compared to you, I’m a shrewd and heartless businessman. I made my money from building houses for rich people. I have no time for a personal life. I have no interest in anything but making money. If I was any other way, I wouldn’t be where I am today,” Jared continued.
My heart sank to my stomach. What was he trying to tell me? That he didn’t want to be a part of my life? That he didn’t have an interest in building a family with me?
I’d known that all along. That was exactly why I didn’t want Mona telling him anything!
I tried to wriggle away from him, but now his hands travelled to my shoulders. It was like he was holding me by my neck, suffocating me with his presence.
“Everything changed when I came to Chicago, Elsie. I thought I could just meet up with you again and keep it casual. Hire you and maybe we could work together, be friends like before…but that was never going to be possible. Seeing you again made me realize that nothing else is worth the effort. Not if I can’t have you,” Jared said.
I stared at him longingly. Those were the words I was desperate to hear. He was saying them now and it didn’t even sound real.
“Elsie, this baby is proof that we were always meant to be together. We’re just ten years late,” he added. A soft smile was stretching his lips…could it be? Jared Morin was actually about to smile?
“I love you, Elsie.”
When Jared kissed me, I melted in his arms. Our kiss was soft and slow, and our lips glided over each other’s. He held me tightly to himself, his arms wrapped around my waist. I was pressed close enough to him to be able to feel his heart beating. I could also feel his cock throbbing between his legs.
I was wet for him too.
All he had to do was look at me to turn me on.
Jared pulled his mouth away from mine and I gasped.
“I love you, Jared,” I said quickly, without wasting another breath.
He smiled, softly stroking my hair and tucking some of it behind my ears.
“You are beautiful. Do you have any idea how long I’ve thought that?” he asked, and I laughed.
“Enlighten me!”
“Since I was like twelve. I’d watch you from my bedroom window, going to school with Mona. I always thought, I’m going to marry that girl someday. Even back then, I knew how stupid that was. Elsie Carr would never want to marry me,” Jared said.
We were smiling at each other. I was blushing. I couldn’t believe that finally, after all these years…we were talking openly about our feelings.
“I didn’t know you had a crush on me since then. I always thought it was one-sided. You were so cool…such a bad boy! All the girls in town wanted you,” I confessed, blushing even redder.
“Yeah, they wanted to make out with me to rebel against their mothers. You were my friend because you saw me,” Jared said, and he kissed the tip of my nose again.
“Do you know that your nose gets really red when you’re about to cry?” he asked, and I laughed, trying to cover my nose with my hand.
“What else do you know about me that nobody else does?” I asked him, and Jared lifted me up. He was carrying me to the couch and I threw my arms around him.
“I know you like to eat sunflower seeds, and you’ve always disliked the color of your hair. I think it’s gorgeous, but that’s beside the point. I also know Maggie Brown stole your nail polishes from your school locker. But you never said anything because you’re too nice,” Jared continued.
He’d dropped me down on the couch and tumbled down beside me. I leaned on him, placing my head on his chest.
“Maggie Brown! Oh my God! I haven’t thought about her in years!” I exclaimed, laughing.
Jared was stroking my hair now and I knew I could sit there in his arms forever.
“I also know you miss your parents, and no matter how angry you are with them now, you’ll forgive them,” he said, in a softer voice. I looked up at him and tried not to get angry again. I knew he was right. I did miss my parents. They’d messed up my life majorly, but they thought they were keeping me safe. And now they would never know that Jared and I were going to be together.
“I think they would be happy now, if they were still here and saw us together,” I said.
Jared leaned down to kiss my cheek.
“I hope that too. I’ve basically spent my whole life trying to live up to their expectations!” he declared. When I looked at him, I saw that he was smiling. I smiled too.
“Ten years! I can’t believe it took us ten years!” I exclaimed.
“And ultimately, we have Mona to thank for it. I always thought she hated my gut
s!” Jared said with a laugh.
“She did. But she loves me more,” I replied and threw my arm around him to pull him down. We were kissing again. He pushed his tongue between my lips to taste me. His hands were all over me, cupping my breasts, caressing my belly…
When we parted, he was staring at me lovingly and I knew what was on his mind.
“We’re going to be parents…” My voice was as good as a whisper. I was stroking his stubble with my fingers. He caught my hand and brought it to his lips.
“Elsie, I’m scared. I don’t know how to be a dad. I didn’t even know what to say to Emma when I met her!” Jared claimed. I smiled.
“You shouldn’t worry about that. When you see our baby for the first time, you’ll know exactly what to do. You feel this way now because of your own parents…but that feeling will pass,” I told him.
Jared kissed a trail along my arm and then he was nuzzling my neck. I giggled like a silly teenage girl. But that was how he made me feel. He made me feel like a kid again. Like I had nothing in the world to worry about.
“I can’t wait eight months! I can’t wait that long to meet this human being we’ve created!” He was laughing as he spoke. All I could do was stare at his handsome face.
Then the realization struck me.
“Jared, how are we going to manage this? You live in LA!”
He shrugged his shoulders, hooking a finger under my chin.
“I’ll move to Chicago. I’m going wherever you are. If you want to move to North Africa, I’ll move there too. I told you, Elsie…I’m never leaving you again,” he said and pulled me up to his chest.
As I hugged him, I felt happy tears fill my eyes. I was in his arms, I was joined to him now. This was how it was always meant to be. My dreams and fantasies were all coming true…
I kissed his cheeks and his neck and his lips. I couldn’t kiss him enough. I felt like if I stopped kissing him, I would run out of breath. Jared Morin was all mine and I was never letting him go.
Jared
Eight months and twelve days later
Our baby was arriving late and it had all of us worried. Elsie had been in labor for over two days now and we were all camped out at the hospital.
I’d arranged for the best. Elsie was admitted to the best hospital in Chicago and I had the best gynecologists looking after her. Nonetheless, there was still a chance that things could go wrong.
Mona and her husband, David, were at the hospital. Emma was there too, but she had fallen asleep now. I was pacing up and down the corridor, worried out of my mind.
It had been several hours, and we hadn’t heard anything from the doctors. They’d informed us that our baby was too big and Elsie couldn’t deliver naturally. She’d been taken into surgery.
I couldn’t remember the last time I was this nervous about anything in my life. No business deal, no violent fight between my parents—nothing had instilled this much fear in me. I just wanted to see Elsie again, I wanted to hold our baby in my arms.
“Jared…” It was Mona’s voice behind me. She’d startled me and now I whipped around to face her. She was smiling softly, and she reached for my shoulder and squeezed.
“It’s going to be okay. Elsie will be fine,” Mona said, and I nodded. I wanted to believe that. But I had grown so accustomed to things going wrong in my life that I was expecting the worst.
“These things happen sometimes. If there was anything to worry about, the doctors would have told us by now. You should sit down, rest a little.” Mona was leading me back to the waiting area again.
I saw that David was asleep too now, with Emma on his lap. They looked like the perfect picture of a happy father-daughter scene. I wanted that with our kid. I was anxious to have that!
Mona sat down beside me. She placed a hand on my knee and squeezed.
“I’m going to be an aunty! Elsie’s going to be a great mom,” Mona said. I smiled at her. “And you’re going to be just the dad this baby deserves. You’re going to be fine, Jared.”
I gulped. These past eight months had been a hell of a rollercoaster for me. I was finally happy. I had Elsie in my life again. I had something to look forward to every morning when I woke up.
Despite that, I couldn’t shake off that nagging feeling that I would fail as a parent. That my own parents had been a horrible example to me. Traits I would never be able to be rid of.
“Thank you, Mona. For giving me a chance,” I told her.
We hadn’t really had a heart-to-heart since that day she showed up at my office. Mona smiled at me now and patted her hand on my knee.
“I always wondered what Elsie saw in you. Now that I’ve gotten to know you, I see it too. She has always been a perceptive girl. I wish our parents had had a little faith in her too,” Mona said.
“I really didn’t want to go against your parents’ wishes. I know they would be dead-against this. Us having a baby together, building a future together,” I told her and Mona shook her head.
“They didn’t see the guy Elsie saw. They were wrong. Just because they wanted the best for her doesn’t mean that they were right,” Mona replied.
“I promise you, I’m going to do everything to make Elsie happy. And our baby,” I said.
“I know you will,” Mona replied, just when a doctor interrupted us.
“Mr. Morin, you have a son!”
I jumped up from my chair. In the heat of the moment, I hugged the doctor.
“I have a son!” I was shouting with joy. Mona hugged me and then she rushed over to wake up David and Emma.
“How is she? How is Elsie?” I asked the doctor.
“She’s doing great! They came out of surgery just some time ago. She’ll be regaining consciousness soon,” the doctor replied.
“Can I see her now? Can I see my son?”
“Of course, Mr. Morin. Follow me”
I did just that. Me, Mona, David and Emma followed the doctor down the hall to the room where Elsie was. Emma was skipping with glee. She reached for me and I lifted her up in my arms.
We entered the room together, to see Elsie on the bed. There was a baby’s crib beside her and a nurse was hunched over it.
I rushed to Elsie’s bed side. She was just regaining consciousness. Her eyes were droopy, and she was still groggy from the surgery. I looked into the crib and saw our little bundle of joy for the first time.
Elsie was right. It was like a lightning bolt struck me. The moment I looked at his face, I knew what I had to do. I knew I was going to be okay.
“Hey, little guy…” I whispered. The nurse was lifting him up and placing him in my arms. I could hear Mona crying behind us. Emma was jumping up and down, trying to get a look at her new cousin.
I was holding our son in my arms when Elsie finally opened her eyes wide.
“Jared…” she whispered, and I leaned our baby towards her.
“Look at him, Elsie…look at how beautiful he is!” I exclaimed, still in disbelief. Elsie laughed. Mona was by her side, stroking her hair now.
“Come here!” Elsie called out to me and I dragged my gaze away from our son to kiss her.
“Thank you, Elsie. Everything I have is because of you. Thank you for making me a father,” I told her and kissed her again.
“I love you, Jared. This baby is lucky to have you,” Elsie said, and I handed our son over to her.
Looking down at them, I knew that I felt content. I didn’t need anything else in my life now to fulfill me. As long as I had them.
Epilogue
Elsie
Two years later
I was in Madison Green again and I stared up at our old house.
It hadn’t been looked after in years. Neither Mona nor I had come back here since our parents passed.
From that spot in our little driveway, I got a good view of both my old home and Jared’s too.
His house looked completely different now. It belonged to a new family who looked after it. The front yard was well looked after
, there were toys scattered on it, and sounds of a new young family emerged from inside.
I stood there a while. I didn’t want to go into our old home. I knew that if I did, I would miss my parents. I still hadn’t forgiven them yet, but I also couldn’t forget the old good memories. I would always cherish those in my heart.
I knew that wherever they were, they were happy for me.
Jared hadn’t come with me to see his old house. He still carried a lot of resentment and anger in his heart. I couldn’t blame him for it. I hadn’t lived his childhood. I was aware that if he saw the house, it would bring back old, horrid memories of growing up in it.
He didn’t want to spoil the progress he’d made. The difference having Scout had made to his life.
Instead of joining me to look at our old homes, Jared had taken Scout to the lake. I made my way towards it now.
I walked the old streets, saw the old neighborhood. Most of the shops were gone now; our little town looked different. To me, it looked the same, though. I still recognized every street corner and every spot where Jared and I had spent time together.
All those years ago, I pined for him. I fantasized about having a future and a family with Jared. And now I did.
I arrived at the lake some time later. Our lake…the place where our love for each other had unknowingly bloomed.
Jared was sitting on a boulder by the bank, with Scout in his arms. He was showing our son the art of making pebbles skip on the calm surface of the water.
“Having fun without me?” I said. Jared and Scout looked up to see me there. Our son threw his arms open and I lifted him up. He was a true mamma’s boy, even though he knew he could get away with murder as far as his daddy was concerned.
“How was it?” Jared asked and leaned towards me for a kiss when I sat beside him. He threw an arm around me. We were sitting at the same spot by the lake, where we used to spend hours as kids.