by Dawn Klehr
His hands moved down to her shoulders, lighting a flame to her skin—not a good idea when her arms were the only things holding her up and preventing her from falling back into the sand. Light-headed didn’t begin to describe her state of balance. Justice seemed to sense it and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer.
That slow and gentle touch soon turned more desperate as he swept the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips, parting them, so he could go deeper. He tasted like he smelled, of sunshine and summer, and she swore he was making the ground shake beneath them.
Rebel tried not to think about that. She just wanted to feel. The sparks and zings. The tingles and warmth. Yeah, kissing Justice Brody should definitely move up on her priority list.
His kisses were warm and sweet, and…over too soon. And when he finally pulled away, he smiled so bright she almost had to shield her eyes.
It was all so confusing.
How was it that one little kiss with Justice felt more important than what she had with Ryan? Not just hot—which it was, ohmygod it was—but important. How was that possible?
“Why did you do that?” she whispered.
“So you’d stop yelling at me.” He flashed his toothpaste grin at her once more, and her chest ached.
That smile was going to mess up everything.
Chapter Eleven
Justice
“You really thought I was drowning?” she asked, blinking at him. Their moment was over, and they’d finally settled down. Or at least Rebel had. He was still reeling from the kiss.
He nodded his response, grateful she was starting conversation, because there was no way he could clear his head enough to say anything that made sense.
He’d wanted to do that—kiss her—since that time in her bedroom. The time he stole a page from Ryan’s playbook and acted like an ass.
“Is something wrong, Rebel?” he asked her that day. He knocked on the door to her room, after she excused herself from dinner early. Their dads had been dating for several months, but had only recently shared the news with them. His dad was so excited for Justice and April to meet Trevor and Rebel, and for all of them to spend time together, so he agreed. It was weird as hell at first. Seeing his dad with another man, after he’d been with his mom his entire life, was so…awkward, clumsy, uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure he’d make it through the night.
In his head, he understood, and he was cool with people loving whoever they loved. Yet with his dad it felt like a betrayal. He didn’t want this for him. For them. But he also didn’t want a life without a father, so he went to the Harts’ place anytime his dad asked.
Eventually, it got easier. It wasn’t so weird once the shock started to wear off and he got to know Trevor. He wasn’t going to lie. Rebel was a huge part of all that—making it all seem so normal. He’d actually come to enjoy hanging out at their house, even though things with his dad remained a little strained. No matter how hard Justice tried, the bitterness he felt after the divorce never fully left him, and that created a new layer of guilt to his list of unresolved emotions—a term the family therapist loved to use.
But once word got out to the team, his life became unbearable, which was completely ridiculous. They lived in Atlanta for shit’s sake. Gay people were hardly rare. Though you wouldn’t know that by the guys’ reaction on the team. See, in football, you take the progression of society and knock it back about thirty years. Really, look how long it took to allow female reporters in the pro locker rooms.
High school teams were even worse.
The guys were relentless with the jokes and comments. And he was the butt of them. Every. Single. Time. It brought all of his painful childhood memories of being the weird, dorky kid to the surface. A time he thought he’d put behind him. It also made it harder and harder to be around his dad and Trevor.
So even though he didn’t want to be at the Harts’ house that last day, he couldn’t help but notice how distant Rebel had been at dinner or that she went to her room immediately after they ate. For the first time in a while, he wasn’t the most miserable person in the house, and he almost appreciated the distraction.
Rebel didn’t answer him when he went to check on her.
He remembered the relief he felt at first. He wouldn’t have to confront any difficult situations after all. He’d just keep his distance, which was a good thing considering how his own feelings for Rebel were beginning to morph into something other than friendship.
Then he heard her cry.
He didn’t hesitate at that point. He went in.
“Tell me,” he said when she looked up at him, an overprotective wave hitting him in the gut. But this was not at all the same protectiveness he had for his sister. This was something entirely different.
Rebel went on to tell him about Ryan. He was her first. First real date, first boyfriend, her first time. As in first, first. And after? He pretended it didn’t happen, like it was no big deal.
“I gave him everything, you know?” She wiped her eyes. “And it didn’t matter. I didn’t matter.” Justice didn’t really know the douchebag. He knew of him because they were each popular in their own circles. But he didn’t know the guy was dating Rebel…and he definitely didn’t know about the other stuff.
The next day in school, he hunted Ryan down and knocked him around a little. But when Rebel came up to him in the hallway, he ducked and went the other way. It was such an asshole thing to do, but it was easier than facing her. Yep, he was a fucking coward—about dealing with the guys on the team and admitting his feelings about Rebel. For the guys, it was easier to beat the piss out of them to shut them up than to defend his dad. For Rebel, it was easier to stay away from her and lie to himself about his feelings than to complicate his life.
He knew if he went to her then, he wouldn’t be able to leave her. And that scared him shitless. So he stayed away. She’d been ignoring him ever since. Or he’d been ignoring her. Either way, it all changed once he stepped off the bus at camp. He deserved what he got. He’d treated her the same way Ryan had, and Rebel deserved so much better. At the time, he couldn’t tell her why he had to stay away, because it would’ve complicated things. He had no idea how she’d feel about it, anyway.
Everything had changed since then. Rebel was no longer in a messy relationship, and they were no longer “almost family.” Their situation wasn’t nearly as complicated. Maybe it was time to fill her in after all.
Chapter Twelve
Survival Tip #3
“Don’t ever let your fire burn out.”
Rebel
“I didn’t think you were paying attention to me,” she told Justice once the heat of their kiss simmered down from red-hot blazing to a comfortable warmth.
The two of them sat there on the shore, soaked through all the way to their socks and shoes, but neither of them made a move to leave.
“I’m always paying attention,” he said, staring at her mouth like he might kiss it again.
Despite her lips’ protest, she was determined not to let that happen. Her survival instincts were beginning to kick in. A point she made by sliding away from him a foot…then two. He was the enemy. She had to remember that, no matter how he began to work his way in or how excellent he was at kissing.
Not to mention the way he tried to confuse her by playing the hero—first from Gray and then in the lake? Ludicrous.
This was his M.O. Attention and then desertion. She was just a convenient distraction for him, a way to pass the time. And she couldn’t forget the way he was checking out Crystal.
There, she’d done it—extinguished the last of the burning coals between them.
“You could’ve fooled me.” She laughed, trying to mask her irritation. The thing with Crystal shouldn’t have bothered her, but it did, and she didn’t need to let Justice know that.
“You don’t understand,” he said, and she thought she saw a wave of hurt wash over his face. “It is literally my job to pay attention, to know wher
e everyone is and what they’re doing.”
“Like Crystal?” Well, that came out like a whiny girl. So not what she was going for. Yes, she knew he was making a reference to football, but she couldn’t resist throwing the hot counselor in his face.
“What?” His eyebrows pulled together, and she pretended not to notice how cute he looked when he was confused.
“You seemed rather interested in her, that’s all,” she said, trying to bait him. She should let it go; she wanted to let it go. But she also wanted to know about his proclivities for older women even more. Rebel knew she didn’t hold some kind of claim on him after one kiss. No matter how earth-shattering the kiss was. And yet…
“Oh?” he asked, seemingly amused.
“Word at school is you only date college girls,” she explained.
“That’s right,” he said, laughing, though it was forced this time. “I do remember hearing something about that.”
“What’s so funny then? It’s not true?” Now she was confused.
“It is the opposite of true.” The words sounded bitter as they rolled off his tongue.
“What do you mean?”
He turned away from her for a few seconds, looking out on the lake and sighed. “I don’t date college girls.”
“At another high school then?” She tried making sense of his vague words. “The girls at Eastview aren’t good enough?”
“It’s not that. I tried dating someone at Eastview last year, but let’s just say it didn’t go well.”
“And before?” She wasn’t sure why she kept pressing him, but she couldn’t seem to stop.
“Not really,” he answered. “I think I missed the boat on the whole dating thing.”
“I’m not following.”
He chewed on his lip, and for once, looked completely out of his element. The silence was thick, and she couldn’t tell if he wanted to say more or not. She certainly wanted him to and found herself leaning in, as if to say, please continue.
This topic of conversation totally piqued her interest, not just because she wanted to learn about his love life—which she desperately did—but even more she wanted to get into the psyche of a guy like Justice. What captured his interest? What made him lose interest? If she could get to the bottom or that, then maybe then she’d discover why Ryan did what he did. What happened between points A and Z that suddenly made her disposable? She hated that she still thought about it, that it still mattered to her. But it did.
She craved this information, so she waited him out. And like magic, he started to talk again.
“You know how in sports, there’s this window of time when you can try something new?” He finally offered. “And if you miss that window, it’s too late to go back and work through all the steps and learn the fundamentals? Because everyone is already ahead of you and they’ve moved onto new skills.”
“I’m sorry, but the sports analogy does not compute.”
He ran his hand through his hair and chewed on his lip some more.
“Just tell me what you mean,” she said.
“That’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Then use your own words,” she encouraged. “Try—”
“I’m a virgin, Rebel.”
What?
She opened her mouth and froze for a second. Surely, she hadn’t heard him correctly.
“Ah—
“A virgin,” he said again. “There are no other girls. There’s never been other girls. Not like that, anyway.”
How could that be? It made no sense. In that moment, someone could’ve told her that Aubrey and Fozzie Bear had just been caught hooking up in the mailroom, and it would have been more believable than what Justice had said.
He was the ultimate teen god: sports star, popular, beautiful, and…a virgin. Virgin?
There was a long, quiet stillness between them as she tried to wrap her head around this new development. Unfortunately, they were interrupted before she had the chance.
She saw their shadow first, and when she looked up, Aubrey and Elijah stood over them, staring.
“What are you guys doing down here?” her friend asked, plopping down next to her. “And why are you all wet?”
Chapter Thirteen
Justice
He started to panic. Suddenly, the sun was too bright, and his chest too bare without the shirt he’d shed. His skin was too hot. Too wet. Rebel now knew his deepest, darkest secret, and he was scared shitless that she’d tell someone. Namely Eli and Aubrey. She didn’t seem like the type to pull a dick move like that, but who knew just how pissed she was at him? And in cases like this, people always disappointed.
Worse than that, he wondered what she thought of his confession. Or had she already known? Shit. Could she tell by the way he kissed? Had she been comparing him to Ryan the whole time?
“We were dying of heat stroke out here, so we jumped in the lake,” Rebel finally said, answering Aubrey’s question and breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Needed to cool off after our record-breaking win.”
His chest began to loosen a little, just from her words. Is that why he was so drawn to her? She had this way of normalizing everything—he remembered that from their talks last year. Nothing seemed to bother her much. She was so accepting of everything and everyone, completely the opposite of what he was used to with his friends at school. Either way, it was freeing to be able to tell the truth and to show her how he really felt. Screw the consequences!
Maybe she’d be the first not to disappoint him. More importantly, maybe she wasn’t disappointed by the kiss.
“You jumped in?” Aubrey asked Rebel.
“Yep,” she said, leaving out the part where he followed to play hero.
He would never stop playing the role for her, even if she hated it. He honestly couldn’t if he tried. It was instinctual, and everyone knew what a hard time he had controlling his instincts.
“So it was still there, huh?” Aubrey asked. She obviously knew about the bag Rebel buried.
“It was. And now we have first dibs on daily activities.” She grinned, and he just shook his head. Why she was excited about that stupid perk was beyond him. He was hoping for more than getting to be first in line to select crafts or archery.
“Lame,” he muttered.
“No,” Rebel said. “Not lame. That means we choose our activities after dinner each night, allowing us to skip morning meeting and sleep in every day.”
“Duh,” Aubrey chimed in.
“Well that makes more sense.” His heart rate started to drop. This was a much safer topic of discussion. “I was worried you wanted first dibs on stitchery. But sleeping in? That is something I can get behind.”
Rebel rolled her eyes at him, and just like that, things were normal again. If there was such a thing as normal between them.
“Hey, what happened to your hand?” Eli asked. Justice had almost forgotten about it, and in all the excitement, he hadn’t made it over to the nurse’s station to have it properly bandaged. Now it was a wet mess, but it was nothing to worry about. He’d had far worse injuries after practice, and as soon as it was wrapped right, he’d be out tossing the ball with Eli, no problem.
“Scrawny, white ass,” he answered, quivering just thinking about it.
“Oh, you ran into Jessie giving it to Harper in the woods?” Aubrey asked.
“How could you possibly know that?” He’d heard that Aubrey was the camp’s news and gossip source, but what the hell?
“I’ve happened to see that white ass a few times myself.” Aubrey grinned. “Those two are like rabbits.”
“Told you,” Rebel sang.
“Yeah, I saw them all right.” He hissed feeling the throbbing in his hand again. “And then I wiped out as I tried to run from it.”
“What? Your poor virgin eyes couldn’t take it?” Eli laughed.
He tensed, but Rebel just smiled and said, “No, he was protecting mine.”
Then she winked.
Soon, peo
ple started filtering back into camp. Aubrey, Rebel, and Eli shot the shit while his mind wandered. Actually, it raced more than wandered. And when he couldn’t fake it anymore, he left to take care of his hand, thankful for the excuse. So much had happened today, it was hard to process, and his newly found bravery could only last so long. He had to get out of there.
On his way, Megan tried to wave him over. He declined, signaling to his hand. She pouted. See? Just another person who didn’t really care about him. So much for trying to work over the women this summer. It was more tiring than anything and actually not all that interesting anymore.
Shoot, he’d take a thousand kisses from Rebel before trading in his V-card for someone who didn’t matter. He knew that now.
The question was, did Rebel feel the same way?
Chapter Fourteen
Tip #12
“Sometimes you need to change the rules.”
Rebel
He didn’t look like a virgin. He certainly didn’t kiss like a virgin. Not that she was an expert.
What she did know was that nothing good could come from kissing Justice Brody. It triggered the alarm bells in her brain. Danger! Danger!
What was it that Wolf Wilks always said about taking unnecessary risks? Oh yeah. Don’t be a freaking moron! She would heed the warning and stay away from Justice, which meant she’d need some rules of her own.
Rules to Avoid the Enemy (If Wolf’s Tips are an Epic Failure):
#1- Don’t look at the enemy’s toothpaste smile.
#2- Don’t look at the enemy’s other…assets.
#3- Don’t breathe in the enemy’s summery scent.
#4- Don’t let the enemy touch you—in ANY way.
#5- Do NOT kiss the enemy!
#6- When you break all of these rules, go back and try again.
After a few days of diligently following her new rules and ignoring Justice, Rebel was out on her deck way too early. As in before-the-birds-are-chirping early. She pulled off the bikinis that were hanging over the railing and folded them into a neat pile before she sat in the one lonely chair.