by Dawn Klehr
Me, too! She resisted the urge to tell him.
But she wanted to know more. If she could, she’d dig into his head and fish out those thoughts and examine them in explicit detail. Were they the same things she’d been thinking?
Probably not.
“Wait,” she said because despite this revelation, something was off. “That makes no sense. If that’s what you thought, then why were you so mean? Was it because of Ryan?”
“I didn’t like you with him, that’s for sure. But no, that’s not why I ignored you. That day, after you guys broke up, I wanted something to happen between us. I’d thought about it so many times.”
“I did, too.” She said it so softly, maybe he didn’t hear. Hopefully. She’d been hurt by what he did, but she couldn’t deny the way he’d worked his way into her life. The afternoons talking, the pizza and movies with the family, their private jokes and little looks they’d give each other when nobody was watching. And then in an instant, it was gone. He was gone. “So what happened?”
“It wasn’t as if I had a choice in the matter.” Justice’s voice took on a defensive edge, as if he could feel her mood shift. “The guys on the team were giving me a hard time about Dad. It was bad—the jokes and trash talking. I was in a fight with someone almost every day at practice.”
“And what does that have to do with the way you treated me?” There, she’d just come out and ask. After she let Ryan slink away after treating her like trash, she wasn’t going to stand for it again. Justice wanted to talk about this? Fine. Then she was going to get to the bottom of it.
“It has everything to do with it. The last thing I needed was to add my dad’s boyfriend’s daughter to the shit storm. Are you kidding me? Imagine how that would’ve played out.”
“So your answer was to drop me, as a friend, as possibly something more, and then pretend I didn’t exist?”
“Hey,” his voice softened, as he grabbed her arm to stop her. “I knew if I came to you that day in the hall, I wouldn’t be able to stay away. So…I cut and ran.”
There it was, the disappointment she’d been preparing for. She’d like to say it was surprising, but it wasn’t. “You chose your reputation over my feelings,” she said. It wasn’t a question. It was about survival for him, too. She understood, she did, which was why it only reconfirmed her first thoughts about getting involved in the first place. Relationships were not safe. She’d learned that the hard way. Love = Heartbreak. Relationships = Disappointment. It’s just the way it was, and even someone like Justice couldn’t change that.
“I wouldn’t say that I chose anything over your feelings. I wouldn’t use those words at all.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his head down, as he kicked at the gravel road.
“Really? I would,” she said, not daring to look at him.
There, that was that. She said her peace. Now it was time to put the past few days behind them and move on. She turned and left without a single glance back at him. It took every ounce of willpower she had.
…
After her run-in with Justice, she was more homesick than ever. So instead of going to breakfast the next day, she decided to use the time to write her dad a letter while she had the privacy.
Trevor,
That was perfect. He hated when she called him by his name, but it would make him laugh. Had he been laughing at all since she left? She couldn’t think about it, so she kept writing.
Dear Trevor,
I’m writing to inform you that the neighborhood watch has you in their sights, and if you so much as leave the house without hair product or proper urban-dad-type clothing, they will alert the authorities (aka ME) immediately, so you best be up to par.
Miss me yet?
Camp Pine Ridge is just as crazy as ever. So far there’s been some involuntary swimming (long story); a scavenger hunt winning; a few underwear-related pranks (really, are there any other kind?); and a secret mission for a veggie burger. It didn’t come close to yours, but it was better than nothing, so I consider myself lucky.
Other than that, Fozzie is still hairy, Crystal is still hot, Dane is still after me (kidding!), and Aubrey is keeping track of it all. So far, so good.
Remember to put the trash out on Friday. I don’t want the place smelling all rank when I get back—which, incidentally, I can’t wait to do. Get back, that is. I miss home—and not just because of the scrumptious food. You’re not so bad to be around, either.
Well, time to get on with my jam-packed day. I’m making you a macramé vest in crafts. Thought you’d like to wear it for the holidays!
#PeaceLoveandRainbows #iheartmacrame #hairproductisyourfriend #soistoothpaste #noplacelikehome
Rebel
She left out any mention of Justice—and Dad would be dying to know what was going on. Heh, served him right. More importantly, leaving Justice out of the letter also meant leaving out the part about the kissing and about Justice getting bullied on the football team because of Stephen. That part would break Dad’s heart.
It was a strange reaction that Justice had to deal with from the team, though. Maybe she’d been doing this longer, navigating the waters of gay parentdom, but nobody bothered her about it anymore. And the parents who had issues with her dad pulled their kids away from her long ago. There weren’t many, but a few. One good friend, to be honest. But she would never sell out her dad or anyone else because of backlash. Trevor Hart was the best, bar none, and if someone had an issue with him, she didn’t want to know them. She didn’t always understand that when she was little, like when people stared at her dads when they were out shopping at the farmer’s market, or at conferences at school. It’d been so long since she had both of them in her life, there were only a few faded memories left. That’s why it really pissed her off that the scenes with ignorant assholes took up any space in those recollections at all. She wanted to save every last one just for him.
Not helping the homesickness.
Rebel fought the tears and put her sad thoughts away. Then she sealed the letter and skipped down the steps to make her way to the office. She wanted it to go out in the mail as soon as possible, anything to make sure Dad was okay. She couldn’t deny it’d make her feel better, too.
Chapter Seventeen
Justice
Today, they got moving later than usual. Justice had trouble sleeping after Rebel left him last night, which led to trouble getting up this morning.
“Where are you going?” Eli asked Justice after he dashed into the cabin to grab his bag and towel.
“The showers,” he said. “Because, you know, we smell from working out.” And if his stench was any indication of the quality of the workout, it was a damn good one. He channeled all of his frustrations with Rebel into every exercise. It actually did some good. He was feeling stronger every day, and not just physically. Mentally, too. He was becoming a master over his temper—Gray made sure he was put to the test almost every day. From his comments about Rebel, to picking on Eli, to even a bunch of lame “yo’ mama” jokes, Justice had learned to blow him off, or even better…fight with his words and not his fists.
Coach would be proud, and Justice was sure his new Zen attitude would be an asset on the field. He was so ready to get out there and play, even if the rest of his life wasn’t quite falling into place.
“No, bro.” Eli said, before snatching his bag and throwing it at the door. “Cook Betsy is back today, and I’m telling you, her flapjacks are worth killing for. We can’t miss them.”
“But, dude, really. We reek.”
“Throw on a sweatshirt, and nobody will notice.” Eli retrieved a hoodie that was hanging on the railing of the deck and tossed it to him. “Otherwise, the good stuff might be gone by the time we get there, and I’d hate to see you cry so early in the morning.”
“Right.” He shook his head, like that would ever happen. Still, he couldn’t deny how good breakfast sounded at the moment. With the workouts, his appetite was growing, and so far the food h
ad been disappointing.
“Come on, let’s go.” Eli pushed him along.
He didn’t fight it; his growling gut wouldn’t let him, but for the first time since he arrived at camp, he really hoped he wouldn’t run into Rebel. Not looking—and smelling—like this.
But, man, he missed her—which was insane. She’d spent more time hiding from him, or whatever, than actually hanging out. But those few brief moments were enough to remind him how much he enjoyed their family get-togethers, as strange as they were, and how much he liked spending time with her. And all of that was before the kiss. Now those little feelings were on steroids.
She was right, though. He blew it with her when she told him about Ryan, and he definitely didn’t make things easier on their dads’ relationship. She had every reason to be pissed off at him. But was it something she could get over?
There had to be a way he could make it up to her.
He began to develop a plan as they booked it to breakfast. Eli didn’t notice, too focused on the dang flapjacks. He wasn’t the only one. As they rounded the corner, campers were flocking to the cafeteria in droves.
When they walked in, it all made sense. Before he could even get a look at the food, he could smell it: the intoxicating mix of buttermilk, maple syrup, and bacon. He took back what he said about crying earlier. This meal might actually make him bawl.
Eli pushed his way to the counter to pick up the food for the table, while Justice claimed their seats. What happened next was a blur of sticky, sweet, savory goodness being shoveled into his mouth. He and Eli dominated the plates. The little kids didn’t stand a chance until they began to slow down about ten minutes into the feast.
The stars must’ve been in complete alignment, as his mom would say, because Rebel was nowhere to be seen. Thank God she didn’t just witness that display. They were animals.
Once it sank in that she missed another meal, he had that pulling feeling in his gut again. Was she avoiding him? If so, that shit had to stop. But in the meantime, he’d be sure she had some sustenance. Maybe she’d be more interested now that Betsy was back cooking.
“That was amazing,” he told the cook once he snuck into the kitchen.
“Thank you, baby,” Betsy said as she kneaded a wad of dough on the counter. “But you’re not supposed to be back here, you know.”
“I know, but I’m hoping you’d have something I could bring to one of the campers who couldn’t make it to breakfast.”
“Couldn’t make it to my breakfast my first day back?” She sounded completely insulted. “Who is it?”
“Rebel Hart,” he admitted, wondering if that was a good idea or not.
“Oh that sweetie?” She took her hands off the dough and wiped them off on her apron. “I know just the thing. You stay put for a second.”
She grabbed a box and filled it with some pastries from the other table. Strange, none of those were put out for the campers. Looked like she had her own little stash back here. For the staff, maybe? Totally uncool, but he was glad he’d be able to pass it on to Rebel.
Betsy added some fruit and a thermos full of juice.
“Here you are,” she handed him the box and thermos. “You tell her I want to see her beautiful face tomorrow morning.”
“I will,” he said. “Thank you so much.”
He told Eli that he’d catch up with him later and headed toward Rebel’s cabin. But first, he wrote her a note.
She didn’t answer her door, but it was open, so he brought the meal inside and placed it on the desk, propping the note on top.
Then he hit the showers.
He didn’t know what she’d think when she read it, but at least he was taking action. Doing something. He wasn’t running away from his feelings. Plus, Rebel needed to know what she was missing. And not in a gross way. God, he’d been a dick about the whole going commando bit. It wasn’t like him to be crude, but hey, she started it.
He hoped the food and note would help.
That had to be worth something.
…
Rebel
“Oh my God,” Aubrey said from the deck, when Rebel returned from the office to drop off Dad’s letter. “Get over here now.” She didn’t mean to be gone so long, but Nancy was already working at the office and trapped her for some morning “girl talk.” She wasn’t sure she’d ever escape.
“I know.” She rubbed her head. “I missed breakfast again. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, it’s not that,” Aubrey said. “I didn’t make it to the caf yet, either. I was in the shower when someone dropped this off.” She pointed to a thermos and box that were sitting on the desk. “And there’s a note…from Justice.”
Justice?
“Aubrey.” Her face flushed once she noticed the piece of paper on top of the box. “Did you read it?”
“No, I swear. I just had to see who it was from. Then I closed it right up. Scout’s honor. But now that you’re here, can we open the box? It smells heavenly.”
“Fine,” she conceded, otherwise Aubrey wouldn’t leave her alone. Plus, Rebel was more interested in the note anyway. Or she was, until the waft of buttery goodness caught her attention. The box was full of Betsy’s scones and biscuits.
She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. She took a healthy bite of the currant scone and moaned. It was delicious. Okay, maybe no more missing meals, now that Betsy was back. She could find a way to avoid Justice without starving to death.
Her feelings were all over the map, and until she could figure it out, she’d stay out of his way. Plus, even if she could forget about the way he treated her last year, the issue of their dads’ breakup remained.
“You really like him, don’t you?” Aubrey asked, making no effort to conceal her mouth full of baked goods.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Are you serious?” Her friend stopped chewing, as her eyes grew wide. “It absolutely matters. You. Like. Him.”
And that was the hardest part. Despite all of that, she liked him. Like really liked him. She couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss, or the way he held her in his bed during that first prank, or the way he dove into the lake to save her. Every time they touched, it branded her, and made it harder and harder to stay away.
“It doesn’t matter what I feel or don’t feel,” she said slowly to make her point. “Because there are too many other things in the way.”
“Like what?”
“Like my dad, for one. How could I betray him like that?”
“First of all, your dad doesn’t have to know anything.” She raised her brows, and Rebel could almost hear the silent duh in Aubrey’s head. “This is camp. You’re supposed to like boys and steal kisses and, hell, maybe even fall in love. That’s not a betrayal to anyone.”
She knew Aubrey was right, at least deep down she knew it, but there were other things to consider. She’d been hurt earlier that year, and her dad was a mess—regardless of who’s fault it was—why would she even consider something so risky?
If Wolf were here, he would tell her to run!
“Plus, I’m not sure I could take it again, you know?” Rebel tried to keep her voice steady. She would not cry over her ex. He didn’t deserve even one of her tears.
“You mean if someone used you like Ryan did?” Aubrey asked gently.
“Exactly. Or what if it turns out I like Justice more than he likes me.”
“So what?”
“So what?” she repeated, clearly irritated now.
“I know you’re afraid. Everyone is. But your survival book can’t help you with this stuff, Rebel. And just because one guy was a complete asshole to you, doesn’t mean they all will be. I think you owe it to yourself to find out what kind of guy Justice is.”
The words made her eyes sting. Shoot, she was going to cry. Thankfully, Aubrey must’ve picked up on it, because she left Rebel alone for a while. Her friend was always good at reading people.
So it looked like now was as good a time as any to read
his note. She opened it just the way her dad used to unwrap gifts, carefully lifting each fold so the paper wouldn’t tear. At home, they used to make fun of him for that, because why did it matter if he ruined the wrapping. Was he really going to reuse it? She understood it a little more now. When you cared about someone and they gave you something, it was to be cherished.
Wow, she really did have feelings for Justice. It was strange that what started out as a game could turn into more.
She really did hope for more.
“Just read the damn note!” Aubrey said from outside. Looks like she didn’t go too far to give her privacy. It made Rebel smile. And with her friend on the other side of the wall, she took a deep breath and read.
R-
I hope you’re not avoiding meals because of me. If so, you go, I’ll stay behind. I can afford to lose the weight.
Betsy’s cooking reminded me of you. I thought she’d have something foodie-ish that you’d actually eat, so you didn’t have to meet up with that rando guy anymore.
And about everything else, I’m really sorry. Truly.
Is there any way that we could just start over?
J
Start over? Now there was a loaded question…
Chapter Eighteen
Justice
Later that afternoon, the girls were gone on a kayak voyage around the lake, so he gathered a bunch of guys together to play a little two-hand touch. They found a clearing past the courts and enough guys to make up two teams of five.
Justice had a hard time controlling his excitement. The workouts and tossing the ball around with Eli had been great and excellent for his mindset, but there was nothing like an actual game situation. He played QB for his team, while Gray led the other.
His team wasn’t too bad, and though he wasn’t able to call anything elaborate in terms of plays, the guys mostly knew what they were doing. They were up by nineteen, which was putting Gray in rage-mode. He never was a good sport, but it kind of made it more fun—especially when they had the ball.
Gray had been talking smack about Rebel all game. Justice answered him by throwing touchdown after touchdown, but it wasn’t easy to keep it clean.