by Dawn Klehr
Now? It was Rebel who made the rest of the world fade away.
“Number one,” she said as he listened in. “No Sideline Suzys. I don’t want to see any of you standing around waiting to be asked to dance. If you want to dance with a boy, ask him. If you’d rather dance with a girl, ask her. If you want to say screw the couples scene? Awesome. Hang out with your friends.”
The girls looked up at Rebel as she gave them what appeared to be rules of conduct at the dance. They were in awe. He knew the feeling—she had that effect on people.
“Number two: Don’t leave your wingwoman hanging, people. That is super douchey. I’ll leave it at that.”
Yep, he agreed with that one.
“Number three,” she continued. “Lay off the makeup. You are beautiful, and you don’t need it. Plus, that crap causes pimples.”
No comment.
“Number four.” Rebel ticked off the rules on her fingers to her captive audience. “No twerking, gyrating, or anything else you wouldn’t do in front of your parents. Let’s keep it classy.”
Well, that did it. His imagination ran wild with images of Rebel dirty dancing. She had more rules to share with the girls, but he tuned them out, focused only on his dirty fantasies.
She finally clapped her hands, waking him up. “Okay, ladies, time to go. Remember, make good choices. And don’t forget your survival tips.” She tapped her book.
Once the girls, including Aubrey, all filed out of the cabin, he snuck in, coming up to Rebel from behind.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and breathed her in. It had been too long since he’d done that. Far too long.
“Were you out there spying on us?” she asked, sinking into his arms.
“Maybe.”
“That’s top secret stuff, you know.” She turned and linked her arms around his neck.
“Really?” He kissed her forehead. Her nose. The side of her jaw. “So you think they need protection from all the horrible boys out there?”
“Not at all,” she said, her words coming out slow. He loved that he could do that to her. “This is just about basic adolescence survival.”
“Right.” He brought her in closer. “The book. Well, you don’t need that anymore.”
“Easy for you to say.” Her eyes were soft, but he could see they were edged with worry. “How am I going to survive you? You’re the enemy, remember?”
“I was never the enemy, Rebel,” he promised. “Never.”
…
Rebel
They skipped the dance and opted for a quiet ride in the canoe instead. Parent’s Day was a few days away, and she wanted all the alone time with Justice that should could get, before the commotion. Before they were forced to face their real-life situation.
Justice seemed to be relieved when she suggested it.
She slipped into the canoe first, ducking down so nobody would see her, then Justice pushed them out onto the water. Everyone was at the dance now, but they didn’t want to take the chance of being caught together. Luckily, the sun had set, and it would be dark soon.
When they were far enough away from camp, she finally sat up. Justice wouldn’t let her paddle. So she pretended to be an old-timey gal, holding a parasol—something she had to explain to Justice because he had no idea what a parasol was. It was just like that scene in The Notebook, but instead of all the pretty white swans, they had ducks.
So sue me. I watched a chick flick or two on occasion—to cleanse the palate from my horror movies.
It was cheesy. Ridiculous. But there she was. There they were.
And it was sexy and romantic and sweet all at the same time.
It shouldn’t have been. It was nothing like she imagined on those rare moments where she let herself play make believe. When she thought maybe—just maybe—she could fall in love. Though she always thought she’d fall for a writer or poet or a guy who could draw manga. Not the freaking captain of the football team. And not the son of the guy who broke her dad’s heart.
But before any guilt or unease could settle on her heart, she caught Justice’s smile and everything else faded away.
“Are you going to put down that fake parasol thingy, so I can kiss you?” he asked after he’d rowed them out to the middle of the lake.
She looked over to him, locking in on those baby blues that had taken on a stormy shade of gray, and all the tiny nerve endings in her body short-circuited. Then she not only put her fake little prop down, she threw it off the boat, and let him kiss her like it was the end of the world.
Justice Brody tasted like popsicles.
She’d forgotten how much she loved popsicles.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Survival Tip #8
“Be fearless, but not stupid.”
Rebel
The morning after the dance, Rebel and Justice were back at their spot near the lake. Normally, she could smell the sweet scent of the thimbleberry blooms, one of her favorites, in the air. Wolf Wilks had chapters and chapters about foliage in his book, and Rebel studied up so she knew the right plants to use for food and healing properties and also the few that could cause a slow, painful death. Thankfully, thimbleberry was the former.
Rebel began to associate the calming fragrance with their place. Today, however, she couldn’t smell the blooms because the air was thick with uncertainty and dread. Tomorrow their parents and Justice’s coach would arrive at camp, bringing all the problems of their lives from home with them.
But she wasn’t going there. Not when they had so little time left. They lay down in the grass in silence. She fingered the mala beads that Justice wore on his wrist—most were made out of a light-colored wood, warm and smooth to the touch, with a few clear stone beads mixed in. He’d been wearing them around his neck that first day at camp, and they bugged the crap out of her. Maybe because she thought he was wearing them for show, but as she’d come to realize, there was so much more to Justice Brody than the football star who was always on display. He was smart and caring, protective and loyal. He could make her laugh with a simple expression—and make her warm in unexpected places with the tiniest of touches. There was no pretending what he’d become to her. She only hoped they had could survive when they left this place.
Justice now wore the beads wrapped around his wrist instead of his neck, and every once in awhile, she’d catch him toying with them.
“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you”—Rebel turned on her side to face him—“what’s with the beads?”
He lifted his arm to look at them, turning his wrist to the right and then to the left. “My mom,” he said with a grin. “After the divorce, she got into all this new-age crap. The mala beads apparently help with anger and have calming properties or something, so she begged me to try them.”
“Did it work?” Rebel asked, actually curious. It was not the answer she was expecting, and also so typically Justice.
“You know, maybe.” His eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t feel as pissed off as I used to, and I definitely don’t need them to talk to you anymore.”
“Come on.” She nudged him. “Like that was ever an issue.”
“You’d be surprised. I was scared shitless to talk to you.” He unwound the beads from his wrist.
“Why?” She was dumbfounded. How could she have made him nervous?
“Because you’re smart, and beautiful, and you hated my guts at first.” He raised a brow, reminding her of her evil ways.
“Well, maybe a little.” She laughed on the outside but blushed on the inside. She hadn’t gotten used to being called beautiful yet, despite the number of times he’d told her.
“What about you?” he asked. “What are you afraid of?”
“Spiders and snakes,” she said lightly, because she couldn’t tell him the truth. She couldn’t tell him that she was terrified of him. Of them.
“That’s all?” he asked.
“Yep,” she lied.
“Don’t be afraid of your feelings, Rebby,�
�� Justice encouraged, stealing her dad’s favorite phrase.
Her belly warmed. Why did she like the way her nickname rolled off Justice’s lips so much? Hmm, there you go. Another reason to be afraid.
“Fine.” He took her wrist and wrapped the beads around them. “You don’t have to tell me, but maybe these will help you deal with the things you’re not ready to face.”
She wanted to tell him that she could face anything as long as he was by her side, but she didn’t get a chance, because in the very next moment Justice took off, scurrying behind a tree, doing some sort of soldier belly crawl.
“Someone’s coming,” he mouthed, and she tried to make herself small in the tall grass as the voices grew near.
They hid like that for a few minutes, holding their breath until the voices quieted. It reminded her that there was one more thing to add to her list. She was afraid of getting caught and ruining everything for Justice.
…
Parent’s Day arrived too soon, and Rebel found herself toying with the beads Justice gave her, summoning up all the energy she’d need to get through the day. If she could just pretend, evade, hide, and not show signs of anything real on her face, she’d be fine.
“I wish we didn’t have to stay away from each other today.” Rebel dipped her toes in the water. “It doesn’t feel right keeping things from my dad, especially this.”
“Since he blames me for the breakup?” Justice asked, as he looked out on the water.
“No, he didn’t blame you; that was all me.”
“I remember,” Justice teased. “Just wanted to hear you say it.”
“I just don’t like secrets,” she clarified.
“I know, but let’s just get through today, then we can figure out what to do when we get home.”
He brought them to the ground and leaned over her, trapping her in his gaze. She could seriously stare into his blue eyes for hours. Justice was so much more than she ever expected, and he made her feel more than she ever thought was possible. She wasn’t afraid or worried when they were together. She was…happy. And for so long she didn’t think she deserved to be.
“I really hate this.” He toyed with the ends of her hair. It was such a natural move for him. Whenever they were alone, it was like that. And not because he was trying to make a move—there hadn’t been many opportunities to steal much more than a kiss or two. Yet when they talked, or walked, or waded in the water, he always touched her.
“Really? I kind of love it.”
“Not this, this,” he gathered a lock of her hair and tugged. “Our situation. Between Coach, Gray, and our parents, I’m so over all of the hiding. I want you, Rebel. All of you.” He hovered over her, and if she weren’t already on the ground, she would’ve toppled over. The guy made her bones weak. “Do you think that will ever happen?”
“I hope so,” she said honestly.
His eyes didn’t look as dreamy as they did the moment before. They turned darker, penetrating. She knew the true meaning behind those words. And she felt some regret hearing them. She wished that Justice had been her first. Her only.
Because, let’s face it, her first time had been a shitshow. The after part, anyway. And that’s really the only part that stuck with her. It’d be different with Justice. How did she knew that? Who knows? She just did, and she’d give pretty much anything to replace the memory.
And that’s exactly what he was asking…if there’d ever be a chance. She really did hope so, but she couldn’t promise that right now any more than he could.
Justice began to close the distance between them, moving in, slowly letting the weight of his body rest on hers. They were safe from peering eyes. This spot was practically invisible from the cabins. It didn’t stop her insides from fluttering, knowing there was always a chance they could get caught.
Mr. Perfect Football Star wanted her. Just the thought had her skin warming. She ran her fingertips along his face, temple to mouth, and traced his lower lip with her thumb. Justice took a playful bite of it, and she jumped.
He chuckled, but the humor in his eyes didn’t last. He tipped his head, ready to kiss her.
Soon, there was nobody and nothing else between them. He was all she could see. And he was knocking down every wall she worked so hard to build. The no falling in love rule and all of her survival tactics were becoming more of a memory than a way of life.
“I want you,” he said against her cheek, pulling her out of her racing thoughts like he had so many times before.
And all at once she was pulling him to her, and his lips were crashing into hers.
“Well, you have me now,” she whispered.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Justice
Kissing Rebel was like that moment during a high-stakes game when his perfect throw landed into his teammates hands in the end zone. It was excitement and release all mashed together. It was a freaking accomplishment, a dream—one you want to live and relive forever.
He opened one eye, just to be sure she was still there and that this wasn’t a dream. He cupped her chin as he kissed her, deeper this time. The way she responded to him said he was doing something right. And that rocked him like nothing else. Football had squat on his girl.
His.
He really liked the sound of that.
The sun was in full view now, and the pink sky had turned to a bright golden glow. The counselors would be up soon to prepare for Parent’s Day, and everyone else would follow. Ever so slightly, he began to pull away. When he did, Rebel made this little noise.
What was that?
He didn’t have time to find out. It was past time to stop, and they’d better soon before someone caught them. But when he shifted, she did it again. Yep, definitely time to stop. His brain understood this. He was no dummy. Trouble was, his body clearly didn’t get it. Or care. And the ticking clock only made him bolder.
Bracing his weight on one arm he kissed her once more, trying to coax that sound from her lips again. This time, he let his other hand wander. Under her shirt. He had to touch her, but not with all the pesky clothes in the way. If it were up to him, he’d rip all of their clothes clear off. He craved the feel of her skin, something he hadn’t been able to enjoy nearly enough, which really sucked, because Rebel’s skin was soft and warm and…addicting. It made him lose his damn mind.
She’d been careful when she touched him in the past. Her fear, hurt, and anger about Ryan was there just under the surface. Despite what she said about being over it and ready to move on, he could feel it sometimes—especially when they were close.
Today, however, her fingers mirrored his every move. They weren’t careful or timid. They slipped under his shirt and explored his stomach from hip to hip, causing his heart rate to reach levels he’d never experienced during any game.
Being with Rebel was in a class all its own.
It was a small thing if you thought about it, for her to graze her fingers along that small patch of skin. It was nothing compared to, say, other areas. So why did it feel so monumental?
More concerning, how were they ever going to stop?
His eyes rolled back in his head when Rebel’s pinkie finger decided to go rogue, dipping into the waistband of his shorts. Not into them or anything, just under the elastic, hovering on the edge. The sensation was indescribable.
He couldn’t tell her how her touch turned him inside out, or how it made him feel about her. About them. No, he’d never find the right words, but maybe he could show her.
And in a tangle of limbs and lips, they showed each other…until the sun sent off a warning glare. The camp was up now and so was their time, but he didn’t want to stop, maybe because he was afraid of what would happen when he did.
His head dropped, and he buried his face in her hair, breathing her in.
“I’m not going to survive this, you know,” she whispered. Justice knew the feeling, because he only wanted one thing from Rebel—everything.
…
Rebel
It should have been embarrassing, the way she had to peel herself off of Justice. And God, don’t remind her of the little needy whimpers she made when they were kissing.
But she wasn’t ashamed. Not really.
She knew he didn’t want to leave, either. He was into it just as much as she was. Um, yeah, this time there was no mistaking his…enthusiasm. But no matter how great that part was—and it was seriously great—that’s not why it was so heart-wrenching to leave. It was more. Those moments, just the two of them without the outside world watching, had an expiration date. One that weighed on her chest.
“Hey,” she whispered when she was finally able to pull away from his mouth. “Is your mom coming today, too?”
Justice shot straight up. “Dude, don’t ever do that again.”
“What?” She pulled her brows together.
“Mention my mom!” He shuddered. “That’s the last thing a guy needs to think about after getting all worked up.”
“Mmmm.” She kissed his neck. “I get you all worked up?”
“More than you know.” Oh, she knew.
“But…back to my mother,” he said. “No, she can’t make it. She had to go to a soccer tournament for April. She sent me a letter to explain. It had all these watermarks on it. I think they were tears.”
“Jesus.”
“I know.”
And just like that, they were transported back to the weirdness of their lives. Rebel didn’t mind all that much. She really had nothing to hide from Justice anymore. Plus, she was used to weird. She couldn’t say the same for him.
Rather than look her in the eyes, he looked over her shoulder at the cabins. He’d already pulled away, and that scared her more than anything. She’d promised not to do this again, not to give someone her heart. But Justice came in and stole it. She didn’t stand a chance.
“Try to have fun today,” she offered.
It seemed to bring him back to her. He looked down and smiled. “Meet me here when they leave?”
“I’ll be here.”
Chapter Twenty-Five