by Lisa Kleypas
"That's the part when we sing 'Roll on little doggies, roll on.'"
"Couldn't you have bothered to make up your own song instead of stealing one?"
"It wasn't stolen, just improved. Texas-style." He was so unrepentant that Addie giggled.
"You're shameless. And you need reforming." She smoothed her palm over his shoulder and glanced in the direction of the main house. "But I guess it'll have to wait. I have to leave, slicker."
The mischief left his eyes, and he put the guitar aside. His hand came to rest at her waist, staying her attempt to get up. She almost jumped at the unexpected tightness of his grip. "Why did you call me that?''
"Slicker? Why, it's just an expression." It had been a casual endearment she'd used for Bernie and some of the veterans at the hospital. "I've said it to you before and you never-"
"Where the hell did you get it from?" There were things about her, odd expressions included, that struck him wrong. He didn't like the inner awareness that she guarded part of herself from him, even now when she was in his arms. Sometimes he could sense the edge of fear in her, but it was impossible to know who or what she was afraid of. Was it him?
"I h-heard it in Virginia," she stuttered, damning herself for being a clumsy liar. "I won't call you that anymore if you don't like it."
"I don't."
She looked at him, confused by the faint sneer that had touched his lips. "I'm sorry," she muttered and made a move to leave. He jerked her back down on the step, his arm hooked around her waist. Their eyes met in an electrically charged glance. Addie was aware of his tension but couldn't understand it. "What's the matter?"
He looked exasperated enough to shake her. Wrapping his hand behind her neck, he forced her head back with a hard kiss. Addie wriggled in protest at his roughness, bracing her arms against him and trying to push him away. His chest was as hard as a brick wall, defeating her efforts to dislodge him. The strong hand gripping the back of her neck rendered her helpless, and Ben tightened his hold on her until she submitted with a small, angry sound. The kiss amounted to nothing more than a contest of physical strength. There was no use in fighting him.
His tongue demanded access to the inside of her mouth, and Addie clenched her hands into fists, her body rigid in his arms. Brutal, arrogant creatures-men thought force was the way to solve every thing and how dare he do this to her after all they had talked about earlier! Long after the hurtful kiss should have ended, he raised his head and glared at her, angry and aroused, and unsatisfied.
"What are you trying to do?" Addie asked coldly, touching her tongue to her puffy lips in cautious exploration. "You… you… " She tried to think of a word Russell would have. used. "… son-of-a-bitch! You hurt me."
He showed not one bit of regret for the pain he'd caused her. "Then we're even."
"The hell we are! What have I said or done to hurt you?"
"It's what you haven't said, Addie. It's what you haven't done." And before she had any time to mull that over, he kissed her again. Bristling, she reached up and tangled her fingers in the hair at the back of his head, pulling hard until he stopped. "Damn you," he muttered, his eyes blazing. "I didn't want to love you. I knew you'd drive me crazy. Try to keep me at a distance. I'll be damned if I'll let you. I'll hammer away until I get inside you, and hang on no matter how hard you try to shake me off."
Heedless of her clutch on his hair, he slammed his mouth on hers, and this time Addie couldn't fight off the heat that raced through her body. She released her grip on his hair, her hands fluttering down to his shoulders. It was impossible to ignore the warmth of his steel-muscled body, the unsteady pounding of his heart. Her arms slid around his neck, and her breasts thrust against his chest. She matched her softness to his roughness, offered freely what he sought to take, met his violence with surrender. Silently her body communicated what she hadn't been able to say out loud.
Yes, I need you… love… yes, I'm yours… As he felt her response, Ben groaned and released the nape of her neck. His arms wrapped tightly around her.
Their bodies burned underneath their clothes, hungry to be free of all that separated them. Ben's violence disappeared, and in its stead grew the sweet ache of desire. Intoxicated with a potent mixture of lust and love, he tried to fill himself with the taste and feel of her. His tongue plunged deep in a frenzy of hunger, and she moaned as she writhed against him.
They sought to be closer, but he encountered the hard ridges of corset stays as he searched for the shape of her. Her skirts were a mass of petticoats and protective layers of cloth. The only thing accessible to him was her mouth, and he devoured her wildly, kissing, kissing. Panting as if he had run for miles, Ben ran a shaking hand over her hair, remembering how it had trailed over his body last night. He was starving for the feel of her naked and unbound beneath him.
The impulse to take down the tight braids pinned to her head was too powerful to resist. Although he knew it would anger her, he found the end of a hairpin with his thumb and forefinger and pulled it out. Immediately Addie gasped and wrenched away from him as a lock of hair fell to her shoulder.
"Give that back to me," she snapped, flustered as she held her hand out for the pin. "What are they going to think if I walk in the front door with my hair falling… Give it back!"
He was tempted to refuse. Let her walk in like this. Let them see her all flushed and disheveled, and everyone would know for certain how things stood between the two of them. But Addie's imperious little hand was shoved further into his face, demanding the return of what he'd stolen, and despite the urgings of the demon riding on his shoulder, he placed the hairpin in her palm. She accepted it without a word of thanks, winding up her hair and fastening it securely in back of her head. Her breath came gustily between her lips, proof of the turmoil he'd caused within her.
"I didn't do anything to provoke that… that display. If you're going to behave like that, then stay away from me until you can find some self-control!" She shot up and went down the two steps to the ground. This time he didn't prevent her, merely watched her with brooding eyes. "You're perfectly capable of being a gentleman when it suits you, and from now on I demand-"
"You want me to be a gentleman? That's a far cry from what you wanted last night. Or is your demand only good up until bedtime?"
"Ohhh!" She was too incensed to answer. Turning on her heel, she left to go back to the house, muttering curses against him and men in general.
Addie groaned softly in her sleep, twisting against the clinging sheet, floating in a netherworld of dreams… or was it memories?… watching herself in familiar scenes. She saw her own face, the same and yet so terribly different. The voice, the body, even the hair…it was all hers, but the shading, the resonation, the texture of the picture was different… twisted…off-key. Why were her eyes so cold? Why was her face so empty?
She and Jeff sat on the porch swing, talking in conspiratorial whispers, touching discreetly, absorbed in each other. The evening sky threw concealing shadows over them, and they sat close to each other, comfortable in the darkness. They had been there for a long time, drawn deeper and deeper into a secretive communion, until they broke past the barrier of forbidden subjects. And they discussed what should never have been planned.
"It's got to be done soon," Adeline whispered. She curled up closer to him, her eyes dark and feline as she concentrated on him. "He's waiting for his lawyer to get here from the East."
"You won't have to do anything. I'll take care of it. I just need a name from you. "
"I'll have to think about it," she said, silently calculating. She would have to pick the right man, someone smart, someone without a conscience.
"Adeline, if you're worried about the rest of your family-"
"We'll all be better off this way." A hard smile curved her lips.
"But about how you're gonna feel after it's done-"
"I won't care. Why should I? If he cared about me, he wouldn't want to change his will. After it's changed, it'll be
in trust for years, and I won't get anything till I'm an old woman." Adeline noticed the amazement in his expression, perhaps even a touch of fear at her callousness. She sought to soothe him. "He only cares about Ben Hunter. He doesn't want me to be happy. I never have been. But it'll be different with you, won't it, Jeff?" She stroked her finger down the front of his shirt, hooking it into the waist of his pants. Slowly she rubbed the back of her knuckle against his tightening abdomen. "We'll be happy together," she said, and Jeff sighed hungrily.
"Oh, yes. Yes. Just help me with the name. Someone from here. It's the best way. I'll do the rest."
She looked up at him narrow-eyed, considering, and then she leaned over to him. And whispered in his ear.
Oh, God, what was the name?
What had she told him?
Addie's eyes flew open, and she passed a hand over her damp forehead. She had broken out in a cold sweat. She lay there stiffly, trying not to think, closing her eyes, and feeling her eyelids trembling. For a long time she was still, covered with a chilling film of perspiration.
She knew now. I've betrayed them all. I helped set it up. She had once wanted Russell dead… she had conspired with the Johnsons to have him killed. After he died, she would have her money, and the Johnsons would take over the ranch, take down the fences, break up the family, and tear Russell Warner's legacy to pieces. She had to find a way to undo it. But how? Thoughts plucked at her brain with hot pincers until her head ached. She wanted a drink, a good stiff shot of something that would take the edge off her torment. But did she want it enough to sneak downstairs and get it? Addie couldn't make a decision one way or another, and just lay there waiting for some impulse to take hold of her.
Much later she heard the door open and close softly, but the sound was vaguely unreal. She kept her eyes closed, afraid to find out if it was another dream or not. Quiet footsteps. A movement in the darkness. The rustle of cotton. The slither of jeans. Then all was still except for the abraded sound of her breath. The mattress gave way beneath the weight of a man's body, the sliding of muscled legs along hers, the heat of his flesh as he lowered himself to her. A sob caught in her throat, and Addie lifted her arms, pulling him down to her. Welcoming the plundering of his mouth, she responded frantically to his kiss, needing him, craving him.
The warm fragrance of him surrounded her, and she breathed it in voraciously, tangling her hands in his hair, urging him to kiss her harder. His hands moved over her breasts, teasing her nipples, squeezing until she moaned. Biting her lip, she molded against him, her breasts flattening into his chest.
Ben shuddered and rolled over, taking her with him. Everywhere, everywhere her hair trailed and streamed in long strands of silk, lashing his neck and face and shoulders. Their lips blended in endless kisses, tenderly aggressive. As Ben gently hunted for the deepest taste of her, Addie thought she would die of pleasure.
Drawing her palms down his body, she marveled at the flexing breadth of his shoulders, the lean sides of his waist, the powerful muscles of his thighs. Her fingertips crossed the soft, taut skin of his hips, and she heard the quality of his breathing change, becoming raspy, stopping in that instant when she filled her palm and fingers with the throbbing hardness of him. She stroked him in the ways she remembered from the night before, her touch gentle but firm, and he gasped. His hands plowed into her hair as he held her head to his, capturing her mouth with a fervent kiss.
Clasping her buttocks in his hands, he urged her upward, dragging her along the length of his body. His lips found the peak of her breast and claimed it, drawing her into the recess of his mouth. Each tiny nerve was probed by the fine-grained surface of his tongue. Sliding her arms underneath his neck, she ducked her head and rubbed her cheek against his hair.
His whisper scalded her ears as he took hold of her hips and pulled her up until she was straddling him. "Take me inside you.”
Unfamiliar with taking the lead, she hesitated before helping to guide him home, closing her eyes as he slid into her. The merging of their bodies was a slow drawing-together, a blending of softness and strength, sensitive and precise. Addie braced her hands on his chest, her hair hanging in a silken curtain as she bent her head. His fingers dug into her hips as he moved her back and forth, and his pelvis arched rhythmically up to hers. It was some wild, improbable fantasy, the pleasure so sweet it was almost like pain. Oh, she had heard about the things men and women sometimes dared to do together, but she had never imagined herself loving a man so wantonly.
She was caught in a fire too hot to bear, a storm that beat within and without, until she crumpled from the intensity and held on to Ben with a desperate grip. Her legs were trembling and tired. Sensitive to her every movement and rhythm, he understood immediately. Without a word he turned her over, smothering her whimper with his lips, driving into her again and again, and her body thrilled with an agonizing chord of ecstasy that pierced through every nerve. When it was over she continued to cling to him, aware of his eruption of pleasure.
The descent from such dizzying heights was slow. They relaxed together degree by degree, washed in the scent and taste of each other. Addie lay still as he massaged her back, his fingers pressing the base of her spine and working upward. He whispered as he caressed her, words of intimate praise that made her blush, and the moment was so blissful that she stretched like a contented cat. The darkness was no longer cold, but warm and alive, vibrant with sensations that rippled outward from their sated flesh. There were no nightmares hovering in this darkness, nothing but peace.
Try as she might to get used to it, the contrast between the nights and the days was startling to Addie. It was brought home to her each time she met Ben's eyes, for she couldn't exchange the most casual of greetings with him at breakfast without remembering what the two of them had been doing only a few hours before. As the family left the table and scattered, each one of them concentrating on his or her plans for the day, Addie accompanied Ben out of the house and managed to have a few private words with him.
"Ben, w-wait," she stammered, touching his arm, and he stopped at the bottom of the steps, looking up at her as she stood a step above him. "There's something I have to talk to you about."
"Now?" He'd been wearing a mask all during breakfast, of courtesy so perfect it was almost a mockery, an attitude of endless politeness. Now he was looking at her as he had last night, his smile full of masculine arrogance.
"No, not now," she said, glancing around to see if they were being observed. "And don't look at me like that "
"Like what?"
"As if… you… as if-"
" As if I'd spent the night in your bed?"
"Yes, and you don't have to act so smug about it."
"You do seem to have that effect on me," he said lazily. "It was all I could do to keep my… er.. smugness under control this morning."
"Be quiet," she commanded, wanting to clap her hand over his mouth. "Someone's going to hear you."
She looked anxious and rosy-cheeked this morning, and there were faint smudges under her eyes from lack of sleep. A button near the top of her dress wasn't fastened, as if she'd dressed too hastily. Ben had never seen anything as charming as Addie Warner standing there and trying to scold him discreetly. If there hadn't been so many people around, he would have stepped up to her and kissed her.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" he asked instead. She sighed shortly, picking up her skirts and retreating up the steps. Now was not the time to discuss Russell.
"It can wait."
Hearing the tense note in her voice, Ben followed and stopped her with a touch on her arm. "Addie. Are you all right?"
She lifted her shoulders in an uncertain shrug. Gently he stroked the hollow on the inside of her elbow with his thumb.
"Do you need something, honey?" No one but Ben could ask a simple question in a way that sent a shiver down her spine.
"I need to talk to you privately."
"Tonight after dinner soon enough?… Good. Then
give me a smile so I won't worry today. And fasten your top button, darlin'."
That night she would talk to him about Russell and the danger he was in. Knowing Ben's affection for Russell, it wouldn't be difficult to appeal to the more protective side of his nature. Surely she could convince Ben they needed to watch over him more, especially now that the conflicts between Sunrise and the Double Bar were growing in frequency and intensity.
Addie could hardly believe that someone would sneak in the house and kill Russell Warner in his own bed. But it had happened once, and succeeded because it was so unexpected. It couldn't happen again. Addie knew she'd already changed part of the Warner family history. She hadn't disappeared. She'd been here for weeks, a different woman than before, and she'd made choices the former Adeline Warner would never have made. She'd turned against Jeff and fallen in love with Ben. For the first time in her life she was part of a family. She'd found a place where she belonged. Addie would fight to keep all of that, and every last bit of strength she had would be devoted to saving Russell.
Russell was puffed up with pleasure when Ben casually left the table after dinner to accompany Addie on a walk outside. By now it was obvious to everyone that a full-fledged romance was in the making. Russell was even more gratified than Caroline. Of course May still had reservations about the match between her daughter and the ranch foreman, but strangely, she offered no objections when she saw them leaving together. Maybe she was beginning to see that opposing the relationship wouldn't do any good.
"My goodness," Addie breathed as soon as they were outside alone, "this is all going to be so much easier than I'd expected. Mama didn't say a thing. Oh, she looked very frosty, but she didn't say one word."
"Maybe the thought of me as a son-in-law isn't as hard on her as we anticipated," Ben mused, sliding an arm around her back, taking care to match his stride to her much shorter steps.
"Or maybe she thinks you're a temporary fling. You're just the kind I'd choose for that."