by Lauren Dane
“I like this too.”
“I’m really glad. It likes you as well.” His voice was strangled. “We can get to the making love stage soon, right? Because I really need to be inside you.”
“In due time, Sheriff.” With that, she bent down and took him into her mouth, bringing him off the bed with a hiss of pleasure.
She explored him slowly with her mouth, with lips and tongue. Around the head, tasting him, and then slowly taking him as far as she could before nearly pulling off him.
His hands gripped the sheets so tight she was surprised he didn’t rip them. But his control, all for her, to make sure he didn’t spook her, touched her. And she yearned for a time when he’d take her wild and hot, when she could be taken without fear. A time she felt would come someday.
Shane looked down his body at Cassie. Her dark hair, slowly drying, played peek-a-boo with her face so he got carnal glimpses of her sucking his cock. What he didn’t see was just as hot as what he did see. One of her hands wrapped around the base of his cock and the other did something naughty and really good with his balls.
The hot wet of her mouth surrounded him and he was awash in pleasure. He knew he had to stop her soon or he’d come and he’d already discovered just how much he liked being inside her when that happened.
“Baby? Cassie, honey? Stop now, I’m getting close.”
She pulled off him with a slight pop and looked up. She looked so wicked and sexy at that moment his cock jumped in response. Her lips were wet and swollen, eyes half lidded, hair tousled.
“That’s the point, Shane.”
He laughed. “Ride me, Cassie. I’ll come, but I want to be deep inside you when I do.”
Pouting, she took the condom from him and rolled it on. He was fairly sure he’d never want to put his own condom on again, the way she did it, slow and precise, was damned sexy.
Crawling forward, she reached around her body to open herself and guide him to her gate. He took it all in as she slowly sank back onto his cock.
Hot. Fuck, she was hot and tight as her pussy took him in. Welcomed him. Each time she pulled her body up, he watched the flex of her thighs and her breasts swayed forward.
“You’re amazing, Cassie. So pretty up there I don’t have words. I could look at you for days.”
A crooked smile slid over her mouth and she rolled her eyes. “I love that you’re so full of shit.”
“You know, you’re snarky when you get warmed up.”
“Ha! You should see me when I’ve known you a while.”
And that little comeback settled around his heart. “Yeah.” He smiled a moment, drawing a fingertip around her nipple, delighting in her pause and the way her lip caught between her teeth. “I can’t wait.”
She took a deep breath and added a swivel when she came back down on him. “That was very nice,” he said, voice strained.
“I got the mad skills. I haven’t used them in a few years, but I got ’em.” She tapped her temple and he laughed.
It was important to her that he realize she was more than the sum of those years with Terry. There was a time when she’d loved sex and she was quickly back there. Something about the way he looked at her, touched her, made her whole, enabled her to think about a future.
“You got ’em all right.” He continued to circle her nipple with one finger and drew another down her stomach, finding her clit. Gasping, she rolled her hips forward. At first it was a slow stroke, building the fire of her pleasure.
“Cassie, give it to me. Let me feel you come around my cock.”
She shivered at his words and arched, putting her hands on his thighs.
“Oh that’s a sight. I love the way that looks. Almost as good as how it feels.”
His voice was strained as the new angle of entry dragged the head of his cock over her sweet spot. That, along with his finger slowly sliding back and forth over her clit, brought orgasm over her with a sharp shock.
Shane looked up at her, watched the arch of her beautiful body. As her pussy clutched and clasped around his cock, he pulled her down on him and came, her name a hoarse whisper on his lips.
Boneless, she fell to a sated heap on the bed. He murmured that he’d be right back, checked the house to be sure it was locked up and lay beside her, his arms around her body, until she was deeply asleep.
Tucking blankets around her body, he set the air conditioner to keep the room nice and cool and grabbed some shorts before heading downstairs.
In his weight room, he worked out for well over an hour, hitting the bag, imagining it was Cassie’s ex. He pushed every last bit of his anger and grief for her through his fists until he was so exhausted he trembled.
He heard a tapping on the door and got rid of the gloves before going out to see who it was.
Matt stood there and held up a six pack and a bag of pretzels. Kyle held up a dish of chicken and Marc held a cobbler. Shane let them in and put his finger to his lips.
“Cassie is sleeping. Come on through.”
They followed him into the television room and flopped down on the couch. No one said a word until beers were cracked open and the pretzels passed around and chicken tasted. Shane put the cobbler aside for Cassie.
“How is she?” Matt asked.
“She’s exhausted but sleeping. I thought the nightmares were just about the abuse. Shit, he broke in while she was sleeping. It’s a wonder she slept at all.” Shane ran a hand through his hair.
“You’ll find him, Shane. Tell us what we can do to help.” Kyle sighed and sat back.
“I will. Now that I’ve got a name that’s a start. I’ll call the officer in charge of her case tomorrow and see what he’ll tell me.”
“How are you?” Marc asked. “I can’t imagine it’s easy for you to know the woman you love has gone through something so awful.”
“I’m better now. I punched the bag for a while, did some judo. I’ll get down to the range tomorrow and I want her to come too. She’s a strong woman, I’m betting she’ll feel even better with some basic proficiency with a weapon. She’ll feel in charge and I’ll be helping her. God knows how touchy she’d be if I just did it all for her.”
“You really love her, don’t you?” Kyle smiled. “I’m sorry she had to endure all of that. But she’s a damned strong woman and she’s good for you. Maggie wanted to come over but she’s with Momma, holding her back.”
Shane nodded, understanding. “Momma must be like a bumblebee in a jar right now.”
The brothers laughed, thinking about their mother in protective mode but being unable to leave to come and comfort Cassie and her son.
“Thank you.” Shane looked to each of his brothers, jerking his chin at the food on the table.
“You love her. She loves you. That makes her one of us now.” Matt shrugged his shoulders matter-of-factly.
Chapter Twelve
The next week went by in a blur. Shane spent every moment he could with Cassie, getting to know her better, falling in love with her a bit more every day.
Holding a bag of sandwiches and cream sodas, he headed up the stairs to her apartment and froze as he saw her on the landing, hugging another man. She clung to him tightly, her face buried in his neck.
Shane saw red and then his heart broke into a million pieces. It was Sandra all over again. He’d fallen in love after so many years and it happened to him again. He wanted to fall to his knees and howl at the unfairness of losing a woman he’d thought cared about him as much as he did her.
“Fuck all if you didn’t totally fool me with your act. I’m as damned as you’re faithless apparently. If you’re going to cheat on me, Cassie, you should do it out of the public eye.”
Cassie froze and looked around the man. And when the man turned Shane saw three things. The look of horror and pain on Cassie’s face; his brother Matt standing in the
doorway of her apartment behind them and that the man looked a lot like Cassie. Shit.
He moved quickly toward her but she pulled back into the apartment and shoved the man inside who looked about ready to punch Shane. Of course, judging from the look on Matt’s face, he’d have to stand in line.
“Cassie, I’m...”
“Let me guess, you’re sorry? Shane Chase, this is my brother, Brian. He’s here to meet the man I fell in love with and to tell me that Terry has been sighted.” She tried to slam the door but he put a hand out.
“Cassie, I’m sorry. I thought...when I saw you with another man...it just... I’m sorry. Please. Can’t we talk about it?”
“No, I don’t think we can.” She put a hand on his chest, shoving him back, and slammed the door in his face. He leaned his forehead against the frame and let out a ragged breath.
* * *
“Oh honey, I don’t know what to say.” Matt sat down and watched Cassie as she fought back tears. He was so angry at Shane he held his hands together between his knees to keep from shaking. The man found this woman who loved him so much, who’d never do anything so bad, and he might have just thrown it all away.
“I appreciate you coming over, Matt, but I think my sister needs to be alone right now.” Brian stood and went to the door.
Matt looked back at Cassie. “He loves you, Cassie. He tries to pretend like what Sandra did didn’t hurt him that bad, but it wrecked him. He couldn’t trust anyone for years. I’m not saying he was right, but I want you to try and understand why he jumped to conclusions the way he did.” He went to the door. “We’ll see you tomorrow night at dinner then.”
“Oh no you won’t.”
He sighed. “Cassie, don’t. Please don’t shut him out. You’re good for him and he’s good for you.”
“I can see how good he is for her. Accusing her of being a whore on her doorstep, making her cry. Fabulous.” Brian crossed his arms over his chest.
“It was wrong, I’m not saying it wasn’t. But my brother loves her. He’s a good man and he deserves a second chance. Everybody makes mistakes, Cassie.”
“Yes, and they always tell you they’re sorry after they hurt you. Until they do it again. There’s always an excuse. I’m not her anymore. I won’t go back to being her.”
Matt realized the depth of Shane’s mistake then but didn’t say anything further about it. “I’m next door if you need me. No matter what is going on between you two, I’m your friend. Okay?” He moved to hug her and she let him.
“Thank you, Matt.”
“Please don’t judge my brother too harshly, Brian.” Matt raised his hand in a wave and left, hearing the locks click into place behind him.
Shane sat on the bottom step.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Shane?”
Shane shook his head, Matt saw tears shining in his eyes. “Oh shit. I hurt her so badly. It’s just...when I saw her there it made me think of Sandra. I forgot who she was for a moment. I spoke before I thought and oh, her face.” Shane rested his forehead on his knees and Matt knelt there, touching his brother’s arm.
“I know why you overreacted, Shane. I understand.”
“I may have lost her forever.”
Matt took a deep breath. “I hope not. But. I’m sorry to say this, Shane, but you attacked her and falsely accused her and your shit with Sandra pushed her buttons. Both of your emotional shit hit in the same place at the same time. She’s really upset and her brother is pissed off.”
“And the ex has been seen?”
“She didn’t tell me much. She came home from work and saw me out front. Told me her brother was on the way and that she wanted us all to meet him and for him to meet us. Then she told me the brother had said the ex had been seen. She didn’t know more than that and I came over to her place to watch over her.”
“I need to go to her, work this out.” Shane stood.
“Don’t. Shane, not right now. Her brother is really angry and protective. She’s a mess. Call her, leave a message. Go to her stall tomorrow. Let her know you’re here but don’t rush up on her. Give her some space. She’s scared right now that you’re like her ex. Hurt her and say you’re sorry and hurt her again.”
“Fuck. I’m an idiot.”
Matt hugged his brother. “No you’re not. You’ve been one in the past but you got scared tonight and reacted before thinking. You love her and you hurt her. But you’re not her ex.”
Looking back over his shoulder at her door, Shane let Matt drag him over to his apartment where he called and left her a message.
* * *
“Carly, what is going on, honey?” Brian sat next to her on the couch, brushing a hand over her hair. “I thought this guy was the one.”
Cassie had successfully fought away her tears and now just felt numb. “I thought he was too, Brian.”
“Who’s Sandra?”
She told him the story of Shane’s ex-fiancée who he’d found cheating with his best friend.
“So he saw you with me and he must have flashed back on that. He’s already left you a phone message apologizing. He sounded sincere. What do you think?”
“I’m afraid, Brian. He’s probably the most sincere person I’ve ever met. But I don’t know if I can trust my own perceptions these days and I’m afraid if I take him back that it’ll be like with Terry.”
“I understand. Well, I don’t, but I trust your feelings here. I don’t know this guy well enough to say. Why don’t you give it some time to see how he acts in the coming days? Because I’d hate to see you write him off if he’s the one for you. But I’d hate to see you take him back and end up with another asshole.”
She put her head on his shoulder and sighed. “Tell me about Terry.”
Brian did. He told her about how her ex had been sighted in San Francisco three times before dropping out of sight again. All the more troubling was that one person claimed Terry tried to get her to use her state job access to search information about Cassie.
“We don’t have any reason to think he knows you’ve changed your name or that you’re here. But I think you should be aware at all times. I can’t see that you should move away from Petal. You’re building a life here and that’s important.”
Lying in bed that night, Cassie stared at the ceiling and felt the emptiness next to her in bed. She’d gotten used to Shane’s body there at night. Reaching out and touching him. Knowing she was safe and loved. And that was gone and her heart felt empty. Everything felt empty as she tried to figure out what the hell to do.
Chapter Thirteen
Brian stayed in Petal over the next several days to visit and keep in contact with the investigators on Terry’s trail. Still, Cassie tried to keep to a schedule.
Shane had come to her table at the Sunday Market but she asked him to go. It hurt just seeing him.
He left messages on her voice mail every morning to tell her he loved her and every night to say goodnight. Her feelings were all over the map. She loved him. No doubt about that. Every time she saw him walk by the front of the bookstore, every time she heard his voice or found a note he left for her on her car, she missed him more than she had before.
Loving Shane and being with him had filled up her life. Not in an onerous way like being with Terry had been. Being with Shane hadn’t weighed on her. It had been good, right. She felt like she’d belonged to something instead of to someone.
But it would hurt less to lose him now than to take him back and fall into the same traps she’d done before and lose herself in the process. She’d rather be alone than live in fear ever again.
* * *
Polly Chase parked her car on Main and got out for the short walk to Paperbacks and More. “Damn kids. I tell you, if you want something done...” she mumbled as she patted her hair into place and absentmindedly waved at someone who’d call
ed out a hello.
She walked into the store and zeroed in on Cassie. Her heart ached for the girl her son loved so much. Men!
“Hello, Polly.” Cassie smiled wanly.
Polly pulled Cassie into a hug and held her upper arms as she gave her a long up and down. “Honey, you look like hell. When you gonna forgive Shane so you can both get some sleep?”
“Polly, I appreciate you checking in on me, I really do. But this thing between your son and I is not only private but complicated.”
“Oh that’s a pretty way to tell an old woman to mind her business. I like you, honey.” Polly chuckled as she sat in the chair behind the counter. “But I’m a nosy old woman, it’s a perk of getting old. You can be annoying and people just call you eccentric.” Polly laughed at that. “Anyway, I know Shane messed up. I know what he did and how he reacted must have made you wonder if he’d be like your wretched sonofabitch ex. But you and I both know after a day or two, that’s not the case. My son is a good man and that bitch gave him, how do you kids say, issues or baggage. I’m not excusing his actions, you best believe I tore a strip off him a mile wide and his father has too. But no one is punishing him harder than he is himself.”
Polly leaned in, peering intently at Cassie. “You’ve made mistakes before in your life. I know part of that is what makes you hesitate now. But also, can’t you see your way to giving my boy another chance? Let’s face it, you two are going to fight. A lot. There’s enough chemistry between the two of you to make an old woman sweat.”
Cassie blushed crimson and looked at the paperback in her hands to keep from looking at Polly.
“You two have chemistry and heat but you’re both stubborn, headstrong people. Lord knows this won’t be your last fight. But you can fight with your man and know it’s going to be all right the next day. Edward is the kind of man that butter wouldn’t melt. I like that. It suits me. But Shane isn’t that man. He’s got my disposition. We’re a tad hot headed. We love fierce. Shane loves you and I know you love him.”