“It’s my memory,” Aunt Tillie said. “What good is it taking a trip down memory lane if I can’t control the destination?”
“I don’t believe you,” I shot back. “You wouldn’t have picked Uncle Calvin’s funeral again. If you could really control all of this, you would never have gone back to that memory. You were putting on a show. Don’t lie to me.”
“Don’t call me a liar!”
“All right, everyone needs to calm down,” Landon said, holding up his hands. “Sweetie, you’re about to draw blood. Let me go.” He pried my fingers from his arm. “That hurt, Bay.”
“She’s stronger than she looks,” Aunt Tillie said.
“I guess so,” Landon said, ruefully rubbing his arm. “Is she really being born in this house right now?”
“Take a listen,” Aunt Tillie said, lifting her finger so it pointed at the second floor.
As if on cue, the unmistakable sound of someone screaming assailed our ears.
“Well, that doesn’t sound good,” Landon muttered, jerking his head up. “Is that normal, or is Winnie about to die in childbirth?”
“Winnie isn’t going to die,” Aunt Tillie scoffed. “She feels like she is, but that pain will fade as soon as Bay gets here.”
“When will that be?” I asked.
“Soon.”
“Can we see?” Landon asked, shifting his eyes to Aunt Tillie. “Can we see baby Bay without anyone else knowing we’re there?”
“This is a watch-and-see memory, too,” Aunt Tillie said. “I don’t think anyone needs to question what the strange man and woman are doing in the bedroom while Winnie is giving birth. You can see baby Bay. If you want to, that is.”
“I definitely want to,” Landon said, dropping the knife on the counter. “Let’s go.”
Aunt Tillie smiled and led him toward the back stairwell that wound to the second floor. “You have to promise not to look too hard at Winnie’s lady parts,” she said. “I know you’re a pervert, but it’s still gross.”
“I don’t want to see that,” Landon said, horrified. “Wait … maybe I shouldn’t go up there.”
“That’s a great idea,” I interjected. “You go witness the miracle of birth, Aunt Tillie. We’ll wait here.”
“We’re not here for me,” Aunt Tillie responded. “This memory isn’t for my benefit. I’ve sat through six births – and each was louder and grosser than the next. Trust me. I don’t want to see you.”
“Well, I don’t want to see me either,” I said. “This is … too much.”
“It’s not too much,” Aunt Tillie argued. “It’s not as if I’m asking you to cut the cord. Stop being a baby, and come on. Oh, wait. Stop being a baby. That’s funny because you’re about to be a baby. I crack myself up.”
“Wait,” I said, striding forward and grabbing her arm. “Couldn’t this disrupt the space-time continuum if I see myself?”
“Oh, holy crud,” Landon said. “I don’t ever want to hear you call me a Trekkie again. Do you understand? Only a Trekkie would say something like that.”
“Of course she’s a Trekkie,” Aunt Tillie said. “She watched reruns with me all the time when she was little. She loved Captain Picard.”
“Well, I’m Captain Kirk,” Landon sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “He’s a better captain.”
“That’s a load of bull,” I said. “What kind of captain goes on every away mission with the first mate? Who is supposed to run the ship if they’re both killed? That’s just … stupid.”
“You’re stupid,” Landon shot back.
“You’re both stupid,” Aunt Tillie muttered. “Come on. Baby Bay is almost here. You don’t want to miss this. I promise.”
Aunt Tillie hurried up the stairs, leaving Landon and me to glare daggers at one another. He finally broke the uncomfortable silence first. “I guess Picard is an okay captain.”
“Kirk is fun, too,” I offered.
Landon’s face split into a wry grin. “Well, we were due for an argument,” he said. “The stress was bound to get to us.”
“Can we be done with it now?”
“Of course,” Landon said, tugging on my arm. “We can’t argue when we’re about to see your birth.”
“You know I come out of my mother’s lady parts, right?”
“Don’t ruin this for me, Bay,” Landon chided. “Why do you have to ruin everything?”
“Oh, whatever.”
Even though Aunt Tillie said we were observers instead of partakers in this memory, we padded lightly as we moved toward Mom’s bedroom. I could hear her grunting and screaming from twenty feet away, and let me tell you something, it wasn’t making me yearn for a baby.
“I think we should take kids off the menu,” I muttered, searching for Landon’s hand in the dark. “That sounds absolutely horrible.”
“Why is Winnie having Bay at the house?” Landon asked, shifting his eyes to Aunt Tillie. “Shouldn’t she be in a hospital?”
“All of the Winchester babies are born at home, boy,” Aunt Tillie said. “We can’t risk hospitals.”
“And why is that?”
“You’ll see,” Aunt Tillie said.
Landon and I stopped our forward momentum outside of the cracked door. I caught a glimpse of Mom through the thin opening. She was on the bed, Dad sitting behind her and acting as a prop, while Marnie stood at the end of the bed and waited for my arrival.
“It should only be one more good push,” Winnie,” Marnie said.
“I’m done pushing,” Mom said. “You push her out.”
“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Twila said, pacing nervously next to the bed. “Will that work, Marnie?”
“Go back to your panic attack, Twila,” Marnie snapped. “I’ll tell you when the baby is here and you can stop fussing.”
“We should’ve gone to the hospital,” Dad said. “She’s in too much pain.”
“I told you we can’t go to the hospital,” alternate Aunt Tillie said, appearing in front of the door. “If the baby is magical … .”
“Yeah, yeah.” Dad shook his head. “What are the odds the baby will do something magical at birth?”
“Aunt Tillie did,” Marnie replied. “Supposedly she was born in a big flash of light.”
“Yes, well, I’m sure that’s completely true,” Dad deadpanned, causing me to smirk. “I’m sure it’s not exaggerated at all. I still think we should’ve taken her to the hospital. What if there’s something wrong with the baby?”
“The baby will be fine, Jack,” the other Aunt Tillie said. “Just shut up and sit there. We don’t want the first thing the baby hears to be you complaining.”
“That’s rich coming from you,” Dad shot back.
“Don’t make me put you on my list,” alternate Aunt Tillie warned. “The only reason you’re not on it yet is because I know you’re worried.”
“Oh, Goddess!” Mom screeched, grabbing her knees. “Here it is.”
“Push hard, Winnie,” Marnie ordered.
“What do you think I’m doing? Oh!”
Mom screamed so loud the house started shaking. Wait … is that even possible? “Aunt Tillie?”
“Here you come, Bay,” Aunt Tillie said.
I shielded my eyes as the light in the bedroom flashed bright blue. It was brief, but it pulsed three times and died. Then I heard it … er, me. Marnie lifted me up and smacked little me’s bare bottom – and boy were we going to have a talk about that later. Who hits a baby? With baby me’s first breath, a screech filled the air.
“Oh, Goddess. She’s here,” Mom said, reaching for me. “Is she okay?”
“She’s loud,” alternative Aunt Tillie said.
“Of course she’s loud,” Dad said, a tear streaming down his cheek. “She’s related to all of you. Oh … look at her.”
“Look at that,” Landon marveled, his eyes fixed on the squawking infant Mom cradled against her chest. “That’s you.”
“What was with the ligh
t?” I asked.
“You were the strongest magically from birth, Bay,” Aunt Tillie said. “Even then I knew you would grow up to be special.”
“But … what was with the light? What did it mean?”
“It meant the Goddess marked you from the moment you joined our family,” Aunt Tillie replied. “She has big plans for you.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’ll figure it out eventually,” Aunt Tillie said, grinning as she glanced at Landon. He couldn’t drag his eyes from the baby. “He’s already figured it out.”
“What has he figured out?” I asked, frustrated.
“It’s time to go,” Aunt Tillie said, her eyes lifting. “You have more to see.”
“Wait!”
She was already gone, and the hallway around us swirled. Landon tightened his grip on my hand and his voice was barely a whisper, but I still managed to hear him over the deafening roar of our travel.
“That was amazing!”
* * *
I’m not trying to evade the question. I’m happy to answer the question. What was the question again? Hey! Is that a T-Rex? Run, girls!
– Aunt Tillie when questioned by the Michigan State Police about breaking and entering
Eleven
We’d barely landed – on grass again this time – when I made a bold announcement.
“We’re never having kids.”
Landon was still marveling at my birth, which was just … weird … to wrap my head around. “You were literally born in a ball of light.”
“Not literally,” I corrected. “The lights flashed a little. It’s not the same thing.”
“Did you see that?”
“Me coming out of my mother’s lady parts? Yeah, I saw it. It totally freaked me out.” I brushed off the back of my jeans and stared toward the house. It looked exactly as I remembered from my childhood. “Oh, crap. I wonder what horrors we’re going to see now.”
“Bay, that was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen,” Landon said, accepting my outstretched hand and allowing me to pull him to a standing position.
“You don’t have to tell me. I saw it, too.”
“It was also … beautiful.” Landon had a far-off expression on his face. “How many guys can say they saw their girlfriend being born?”
“Only the really perverted ones,” I replied.
Landon finally snapped his eyes to mine and flicked my nose. “Don’t ruin this. That was … .”
“Amazing,” I finished for him. “You’ve told me. It wasn’t so amazing for me. Did you hear the part where we’re never having kids? I can’t go through that. I’m a baby when I have a headache.”
“I’ve noticed,” Landon said, his sardonic side taking over. “You know you want kids. That was enough to freak anyone out, though, so I’m going to let it slide.”
“Maybe one kid,” I hedged. “And only if they knock me out for the labor.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Landon said, wrinkling his nose as he leaned over and dropped a kiss on the tip of mine. “I don’t think I’ll ever look at you the same way again.”
“Well, I happen to be fond of the way you’ve looked at me, so I don’t like the sound of that,” I said. “I hope this wide-eyed awe thing you’re going through is temporary, because if you keep staring at me that way we’re never going to have sex again.”
“Don’t talk like that,” Landon chided. “We just watched your birth. You’re like … two minutes old.”
“No, I’m in my twenties,” I corrected. “But I am thinking about sticking at twenty-nine forever when I get there. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”
Landon snorted. “I’m fine with you whatever age you are,” he said. “You have to admit, though, that was truly … beautiful.”
“Oh, you have a goofy look on your face,” I muttered. “We need to get out of Aunt Tillie’s mind. This is going to kill your sex drive if we keep going.”
“Hey! Don’t ever say that. Nothing will kill my sex drive. I’m a god, and should be treated as such.”
“And you’re back,” I said, giggling when he pulled my body against his and planted a scorching kiss on me. “Whew,” I said, exhaling heavily when we parted. “I guess I was wrong about your sex drive.”
“And don’t you forget it,” Landon said, finally turning his attention to the house. “So, do you have any idea when we are now?”
“No,” I said. “I … .”
The sound of approaching footsteps caused me to snap my mouth shut. When I turned around and found three small girls staring at me, I could do nothing but let it fall open again.
I would’ve recognized the faces anywhere. Of course, one of them belonged to me. I looked to be about seven years old, and I was dressed in cotton shorts and a T-shirt. Younger versions of Clove and Thistle flanked me, and the look Thistle shot us promised mayhem.
“Who are you?” Clove asked, her eyes wide.
“Oh, my,” Landon said, smirking when he saw us. “Wow!”
“I’m … .” I broke off and glanced at my younger self. I didn’t want to frighten her, even though I knew she wasn’t technically real. “I’m Barb.”
“Barb, huh?” Thistle’s eyes flashed as she looked me up and down. “You don’t look like a Barb.”
“And how do you know that?” I challenged.
“Because you had to stop and think about your name, which means you’re making it up,” Thistle replied, not missing a beat. “You’re not Barb.”
“I see she came out fully cooked,” Landon said, grinning at little Thistle. “Is that her natural hair color? For some reason I always thought she was a brunette.”
“We’re not supposed to talk to strangers.” Clove hung back even as Thistle and little Bay risked moving closer. “You could be kidnappers.”
“We’re not kidnappers,” Landon replied, lowering himself to his knees so he didn’t appear so large. “I’m a … police officer, for all intents and purposes. I’m one of the good guys.”
“Oh, no,” Clove fretted, clasping her hands. “It’s ‘The Man.’ He’s finally here.”
“He’s not ‘The Man,’” Thistle shot back. “He’s something else.”
“I take it Aunt Tillie warned you about ‘The Man’ when you were kids, too,” Landon said, forcing his smile to remain in place even as irritation wafted off of him. “She and I are going to have a really long talk about her disdain for law enforcement when this is all over.”
I watched as young Bay sized us up, her blue eyes thoughtful. She settled on me first. “You’re pretty.”
“Thank you,” I said. “You are, too.”
“Oh, that’s just too cute for words,” Landon said, his grin wide as he took in young Bay. “Look how cute you are.”
“I know I’m cute,” young Bay said. “Everyone tells me how cute I am.”
“They have to tell you that so they won’t hurt your feelings,” Thistle said. “It’s not true.”
“You’re already a handful, aren’t you?” Landon said, shaking his head. “Wait … why are you girls out here alone? You’re too young to be running around the woods without anyone watching you.”
“I wouldn’t get worked up about that,” I said, instinctively reaching out to touch my mini doppelganger’s hair. “We did it all the time. Aunt Tillie magically tethered us.”
Thistle narrowed her eyes. “How do you know Aunt Tillie?”
“I … um … .”
“We’re friends of the family,” Landon answered, remaining as still as possible as young Bay touched his hair. He was infatuated with watching her. It made me uneasy, although I couldn’t quite identify why. “We came for a visit.”
“Why do you have such long hair?” young Bay asked. “Aunt Tillie says only girls should have long hair.”
“And hippie freaks,” Thistle added.
“I think we should call for help,” Clove said, refusing to move closer even though Thistle and Bay clearly feared no danger fr
om us. “They’re strangers, and Aunt Tillie says strangers could steal us and we’ll never be heard from again.”
“That’s a great thing to tell a kid,” Landon muttered.
“Are you a hippie freak?” young Bay asked, her eyes wide. “Do you hang out at the carnival like the other guys with long hair? We saw them at the festival the other day. Aunt Tillie said never to take candy from them no matter what.”
“That’s very wise,” Landon said. “I don’t work at the carnival, though. I already told you, I’m a police officer.”
“I’m going to like you anyway,” Bay said, smiling. “You’re pretty.”
“I’m handsome,” Landon automatically corrected.
“Is that different than pretty?”
“Well … .” Landon clearly didn’t know how to answer.
“Oh, let her call you pretty,” I said, hunkering down next to Thistle. I couldn’t remember her being this young. Well, I could, but only because I was young when I thought about it, too. Being so much older than her was throwing me for a loop. “It’s a compliment.”
Landon gave in. “Fine,” he said. “You can call me pretty.”
Bay tentatively reached out a finger and touched his cheek. Landon’s gaze bounced between her and me before settling back on her. He was trying to wrap his mind around things, too. “I like him,” Bay said after a moment. “I think we should see if we can keep him.”
“Oh, look at that,” I said, smirking. “You charmed me way back when, too.”
“I’m gifted,” Landon said, grinning. “What can I say?”
“We can’t keep him,” Thistle scoffed. “He’s not a dog … unless … will you wear a collar and fetch a ball if I toss it?”
Landon scowled. “No.”
“Then we’re definitely not keeping him,” Thistle said. “We’ll never be able to hide him under our beds … although I kind of want to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper and see what happens.”
“You are delightful,” Landon said, shaking his head. “You’re exactly the same. How is that even possible?”
“The same as what?” Thistle asked, confused.
“This must be the summer before we got Pepper,” I said, automatically fixing the buckles on Thistle’s overalls. “If they’re desperate for a dog, they work hard for it until Christmas to get what they want.”
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