I then quickly realized it was Everywhere You Look, the theme song to the show Full House.
No. no. no. no.
I looked down at the screen: Jake Calling.
I immediately silenced the phone, and the noise from the song was replaced with the sounds of my classmates laughing and whispering.
He didn’t.
He did. Damn it, Jake.
Apparently, when he took my phone away the other day, he must have programmed it as a “special” ringtone for his incoming calls.
I looked up at Professor Hernandez’s stern expression. “Ms. Kennedy, I suggest you silence your phone during my class.”
I swallowed and said, “I am very sorry.”
As the professor continued with the lecture, the guy next to me said, “That was classic.”
I turned to him and noticed that he had a really nice smile. He was actually very good looking, not in the darkly gorgeous way Jake was, but in a preppy with fine features sort of way. His short, light brown hair was neat, and he had big blue eyes and a small perfect nose with a dusting of freckles.
“I’m Alistair,” he whispered, holding out his hand.
I took it and smiled. “Nina.”
Professor Hernandez glared in my direction again. Alistair took notice, so we stopped talking, turning our attention back to the front of the room.
After a few minutes, I looked down at my phone to find a text from Jake.
Jake: How did the test go?
Nina: Still in class. We haven’t taken it yet. He is going over the assignments and called me out for the whore example. Thanks a lot for that ringtone. That was the icing on the cake.
Jake: The shit cake? LOL. My pleasure. Let me know how the exam goes. I need to know if I have to start planning. (Insert evil laugh here.)
I laughed even though the text made me very uneasy and reminded me what I was up against.
My phone vibrated again.
Jake: Stop freaking out, Nina.
How did he know I was freaking out? I smiled to myself, put my phone back in my purse and glanced over at Alistair who grinned at me.
Professor Hernandez instructed the class to put all mobile devices away and began handing out the exams.
The problems presented were very similar to the homework assignment, and I began to make some tables and break down all of the information like Jake had showed me.
By the time I had finished, I knew I had gotten at least two out of the five problems correct but was unsure about the rest.
I could feel the doubt and anxiety building, and then the professor indicated our time was up. He walked around to collect the exams and let us know that he would correct them after class and post the results online tonight. He had setup a page on his website where we could log in for exam results.
The class was dismissed, and as I was walking out of the classroom, I heard Alistair behind me out of breath. “Nina, wait up.”
“Hey.” I smiled. “How did you do?”
“Pretty good. I think I got them all right, actually,” he said.
“I wish I could say the same. I know I got at least two correct, but not sure about the other three.”
“Well, if you’re having trouble, I’d be happy to help you after class sometime.”
“That’s really sweet, but believe it or not, I actually have a really great tutor and still can’t manage to do well…so…”
Alistair nodded and flashed me another big smile. “Well, maybe we could just hang out sometime?”
I hesitated. “Sure. That would be nice.”
“Great. Um, let me get your number. I’ll put it in my phone.”
As I watched him enter the information, I suddenly felt uneasy and deep down, I knew it had something to do with my growing attraction to Jake. I was pretty sure I wasn’t even Jake’s type but still couldn’t help the crush I had on him. I guess in a strange way, in agreeing to a date with Alistair, I felt disloyal to my own feelings. I was never the type that could focus on more than one guy at a time, even if the guy in focus had no clue how I felt. But I needed to move past that. I was pretty sure that it was unhealthy to think something would happen with Jake, especially after the little sexcapade I had overheard when I first moved in. Clearly, my roomie has his own “stuff” going on. That, coupled with the fact that he disappears to Boston every weekend…well, even if I was his type, which I’m not, it just wouldn’t—
Alistair interrupted my thoughts. “Hey…are you still with me?”
I didn’t realize I had zoned out. “Sorry, I was thinking about the exam.” I lied.
He handed me back my phone as we walked toward the exit. “So, what was the deal with the Full House song?”
“Ugh. My friend changed my ringtone without my knowing. It’s a running joke that I resemble the Olsen twins.”
Was Jake my friend? I guess he was.
Stop. Thinking. About. Jake.
Alistair grinned. “Really? I wouldn’t have picked up on that. I mean, they’re cute and all, but you’re much cuter.”
“Why, thank you. You would be the first person to hold that sentiment.”
“Well, it’s true,” he said. There was that thousand-watt smile of his again.
“Thanks.”
“So…I better run. I have a Psych class that starts in a few minutes next door,” he said.
“Okay. Enjoy that.”
“Bye, Nina. I’ll call you soon.”
***
That afternoon, on the walk home, I came up with a plan to butter Jake up so that he would go easy on me with the whole fear-facing punishment. Maybe I could make a deal with him where I could at least have some say in what he chooses to have me do. For example, even though riding the subway was something I avoided, it gave me nowhere near the terror that elevators did. I was sure he didn’t realize just how incapacitated I had become over the years and how hard it was going to be for me to face my fears.
Even though I hadn’t gotten my grade yet, I was certain it wasn’t an A, so I needed to put my plan into action. They say the way to get to a man is through his stomach. I knew just what I was going to make for him.
Tarah and Ryan arrived home together just as I was starting the fire on the stove.
“What are you doing, missy?” Tarah asked.
“Trying to save my ass.”
She laughed. “What are you making?”
“Did Jake say anything about our bet?”
Tarah shook her head. “No. Jake doesn’t really say anything to me about anything. Is this about the tutoring?”
“Yes. Basically, each time I don’t get an A on one of my exams, he is going to make me face one of my phobias. It’s a sick sort of punishment, really.”
Ryan laughed. “No shit? I think that’s brilliant!”
“I knew you would feel that way, Ryan.”
Tarah rubbed my back. “I am sorry, sweetie. I agree with Ryan. You can’t live like this, especially since you live in the city now. Imagine how much easier life would be if you could get past all of that shit.”
“I just don’t like to be forced into it.”
Ryan raised his voice. “No one is forcing you to do anything, and you know it, Nina. You agreed to Jake’s little bet because you know that you need to be pushed, or you’ll never change. These things only get worse the longer you let them fester.”
I knew he was right.
Ryan and Tarah left to have an early dinner downstairs at Eleni’s. About twenty minutes later, I was just about finished with my masterpiece when I heard the door open.
Jake slammed the door shut and started sniffing. “What do I smell?”
His immediate reaction to the aroma made me chuckle. “What do you think you smell?
His stride toward the kitchen area became faster with each step. “I smell heaven. What did you do? That’s not—”
I bit my bottom lip and nodded with a smile. “It is.”
“Bananas Foster? Bananas fucking Foster?”
Jake said nothing, just sat down, took a huge bite, dipping his head back in ecstasy and moaned.
I’ve heard that moan before. I shook my head to get the disturbing thought of Jake with another woman out of my mind.
His mouth was full. “Ugh. Mmmmmm. Oh my God. You know this is like my wet dream, right?”
There’s an analogy: What Bananas Foster is to Jake…Jake is to Nina.
“I figured you’d like it.”
“Like it…Nina…I fucking love it,” he said before taking another huge bite. He ate in silence for a few minutes with his eyes closed half of the time. “Where did you learn to make this?”
“I actually took a dessert-making class back home once. It’s actually not that hard to make. It’s just butter, sugar, rum, vanilla, cinnamon, ice cream and of course, bananas.”
He continued to devour the entire batch until the plate was bone dry. I sat across from the table with my chin in my hands just watching it happen like a spectator sport.
He ran his finger repeatedly across the plate licking the last remnants, which caused my insides to tingle.
I suddenly wished I were wearing the plate.
When there was nothing left, he closed his eyes one last time, slowly opened them wide, shook his head and said, “Mmm…mmm…mmm. Promise me you’ll make that again for me.”
I laughed at how serious he was actually being. “That can be arranged.”
“I don’t think you understand. That was the best thing I have ever tasted in my entire life. No one has ever made anything for me like that. My mother couldn’t cook for shit growing up. She worked hard and all, especially after my father died but never cooked, never baked. That’s why I started eating so many damn bananas in the first place.”
That was the first moment Jake ever shared anything important about himself with me.
“How old were you when your father died?”
He seemed caught off guard by the question but answered looking down at the plate. “I was five, almost six.”
My heart broke for him. “I’m sorry, Jake.”
“Yeah, me too.” He coughed and quickly changed the subject. “Anyway, you’re making this again, okay?
“Well, I did make it as a thank you, but I have to admit…there may have been an ulterior motive.”
He wiped his mouth with a napkin, crumpled it and threw it at me jokingly. “Oh?”
“Yes. I was actually hoping that maybe you would go easy on me if it turns out I didn’t get an A…maybe let me have some say in how far I’m willing to go with this punishment thing.”
He threw his head back in laughter, and I could see his tongue ring. He scratched his chin, pretending to think about it and then said, “Um…no.”
“Jake…” I whined.
He mocked me in the same tone. “Nina…”
“I am so screwed.”
“Oh, Ye of little faith. Did you even get your grade yet?”
“I am pretty sure they’re up. I just have to go online and check if they’re posted on Hernandez’s website.”
He walked down the hall and returned with his laptop, placing it on the counter. “Check it.”
I nervously keyed in the web address as he leaned in over me. I could smell the bananas and rum on his breath and could feel him breathing on my shoulder, which made me fidgety as I typed in the password.
The first thing I noticed was Alistair’s grade: Alistair York: 100.
Scrolling down, I looked for mine, and there it was: Nina Kennedy: 78.
My chest constricted with mixed emotions. I had gotten a C+, which was better than I could have ever hoped for but far from what I needed to avoid having to pass Jake’s test.
Jake and I turned to each other at the same time, and the gleam in his eyes told me I was in for it.
CHAPTER 7
Thursday afternoon, I was cleaning the kitchen when I received a text from Jake.
I am getting off of work early and should be home around 3:30. I’ll meet you at the house. Then we’ll leave together. Be ready.
A few minutes later, he texted again.
Stop freaking out, Nina.
And so, the ruminations began. I had no idea what he had in store for me, and he specifically gave me no hints, so that I wouldn’t “freak out.” Well, the not knowing made me freak out even more.
I took a shower to pass the time and could not for the life of me decide what to wear. What does one wear to a date with disaster? Regardless of where we ended up tonight, I was going to be one sweaty, panicky, white-knuckled mess.
I finally settled on a pair of jeans and a fitted black t-shirt. I might as well be comfortable and honestly, why would I need to dress up? It’s not like Jake is going to notice how cute my ass is when I am keeled over on the ground hyperventilating.
At 3:15, I decided to sit and wait in the living area, attempting to distract myself by watching the Katie show. The topic was about close encounters with death. I shut it off because it was a trigger for my anxiety.
The door opened, and Jake walked in with a couple of paper shopping bags, grinning from ear to ear.
“Hey, little miss sunshine! Are you excited about our date?”
That suddenly made me nauseous, and I couldn’t tell if it was because he called it a date or because I was about to make a fool of myself tonight. “I didn’t realize it was a date.”
“It’s a date with destiny. Freedom awaits you once you can get past all of this shit you are doing to yourself.”
Thanks for clarifying the date thing, jackass.
The fact that he looked scorching hot right now in a red plaid shirt that opened up to a fitted black t-shirt underneath wasn’t helping my confused state.
I raised my neck to peek into the bags. “What did you buy?”
He shooed me away. “Just some supplies we’ll need.”
“Great,” I said sarcastically.
Jake took the bags to his room while I waited on the couch. He reemerged with a large black backpack.
“Let’s go, Nina. You ready?”
I got up and swallowed. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Another wave of nausea came when we hit the pavement of the sidewalk, and I knew there was no turning back.
To make matters worse, Mrs. Ballsworthy was at the window watching us, and when I looked up at her, she gave me the dirtiest look before shutting it. That was all I needed right now. Jake hadn’t noticed, so I didn’t mention it.
I could feel him looking at me as I stared down at the ground while we walked together, our steps in synch. At one point, he stopped walking, and I turned around to face him.
“Why did you stop? I asked.
He approached me and put both of his hands on my shoulders. I shivered at the unexpected contact, and as we stood on the street corner, he looked into my eyes intently.
“Nina, I can tell you’re going through all these little scenarios in your head right now. It’s not helping. The only thing that is ever happening to you is what is happening in the moment, not all of the disastrous possibilities in your mind. So, cut the shit, okay? I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
While I didn’t like the tone of his voice, the last part gave me some comfort.
We continued walking until we came across what I believed was our destination: DeKalb Avenue subway station. I was honestly relieved that he had chosen the subway as my exercise, since it was the lesser of the evils. Nevertheless, I wanted to stall.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
He lifted his arms and smiled. “Manhattan, baby!”
“That’s it? How long is the ride?”
“Not long, but I didn’t calculate it.” Jake walked a few steps down into the station as I stood on the sidewalk above. He turned around and stared up at me.
My pulse quickened, and I close
d my eyes unsure of what to do next. My mind flashed images of being stuck like a sardine in that tin can. When I opened my eyes, he was still standing in the same spot. His large green eyes lit up from the darkness of the stairwell.
He was so beautiful. I just couldn’t move, though.
He stood there patiently on the steps waiting for me to come down. I was frozen. Finally, he lifted his hand toward me and silently urged me with his steady gaze to walk down and take it.
“Nina, come on. I’ve got you,” he finally said.
At that moment, something clicked, and I moved toward him. His warm hand enveloped mine, and our fingers intertwined. His thumb ring pressed against my skin as he held my hand tightly and led me down the stairwell, which smelled of urine.
If I weren’t so terrified of acting like a complete lunatic on the train, this moment would have been epic. It was a mixed bag of emotions with fear and lust shining above all. My body was trembling in confusion.
I felt a sudden coldness as Jake let go of my hand to pay for our subway cards.
He thanked the subway worker and surprised me when he grabbed my hand again. The butterflies in my stomach were now doing somersaults as he led me through the turnstiles.
We sat down on a bench as we waited for the train to arrive. Disappointingly, he let go of my hand.
Then, he patted my back. “You’re doing okay so far.”
“Yeah,” I managed to say as I continued to breathe heavily. I kept nodding for no reason and wished the train would just hurry up and get there.
The B train finally approached and grinded to a screeching halt. He took my hand again and led me onto the crowded train car, which was bustling with evening commuters.
There were no seats, which didn’t matter to me. I preferred to stand, since that made for an easier exit if I ever had to leap out at the next stop.
When the train doors closed, the panic really began to set in. I felt completely trapped and began to shake uncontrollably.
Jake Undone Page 5