‘Ah...sweetheart, you did not mishear me. You are my love and I adore you. Could it be that we both fell in love that day at Sandrock? I thought it was only me.’
‘You didn’t, Jon. You were horrid and arrogant.’
‘I adored you the moment I saw you, little scold. Even when you berated me for my duties. I told your father I wanted you at the time.’
‘But he said you’d think about it.’
‘Oh, beloved, what a dreadful tangle. Were you so very angry with me?’
‘You broke my heart, Jon. But I could hardly blame you for choosing a lovelier, wealthier wife. Well, I did blame you. I think I hated you for it.’
‘And I never stopped loving you. Wanting you. I’ve loved you every moment since then.’
‘Then why...?’
‘Listen, sweetheart. You have to know what happened then. I’ve kept things to myself for far too long. Will you let me tell you, so that you might understand?’
‘If you wish, Jon. But you see, I know Etta is not your child. I can see who fathered her. That must have hurt you so much, but then I was in exactly the same position, wasn’t I? You knew it.’
‘I knew it, yes, but there’s more to it than that, my darling.’
‘You told me once that things are rarely as clear-cut as they appear to be. This is going to be one of those times, isn’t it?’
‘Never more so, Ginny, darling. Come here into my arms.’
Nestling into him on the bed, it seemed to Ginny that the dream she had chased for so long was within reach at last. Jon loved her. Her head rose and fell on his deep sigh while she used the linen sheet to mop her damp cheeks. ‘What are these things you could not share with me, Jon? I’m listening,’ she whispered.
‘Things that happened since my father died that I am not proud of, which I didn’t intend you to know because I thought that, once you did, you’d hate me for forcing you into a marriage without giving you a chance to back out. I had reasons that I told myself were excuses, but they’re not. I treated you shamefully, but I could not take the risk of losing you again, not after what had happened. I knew your pride had been hurt. I could see it when you came to court. You’d not have accepted me then, so I intended to wait and perhaps to court you a little. But then I had not known of Henry’s interest, that he’d invited you there for a purpose that had nothing to do with his new queen’s needs, but his. He offered me the chance to have you and I took it, even though you were unwilling. Since then, Ginny, darling, I’ve never been quite sure of you.’
Ginny spoke to the soft warm side of his chest where she could feel the vibrant rumble of his voice telling her things she had never thought to hear. She sensed he was skirting round the edge of some explanation, something deeply hurtful that he’d kept hidden until now. ‘If I tell you,’ she said, ‘how I’ve loved you since that first time we met when you were so superior, would you begin to feel sure of me? Would you believe me if I said you were in all my dreams and that I’d built my entire future on being your wife, even at sixteen? Can you begin to imagine how I felt when Father said you were to marry a wealthy heiress instead of me? She must have occupied your thoughts, surely?’
‘She did, but not in the way you think.’
‘What are you saying? Did you not love her?’
‘Love? Hah!’ His voice was hoarse, indignant with loathing. ‘No, sweetheart, love was never one of the ingredients of our sham marriage, I’m afraid. But I’ll begin with my father, when he was imprisoned in France. He died just days after his ransom was paid in the autumn of ’36, and it left his estate completely without funds. Henry felt partly responsible for that situation because he’d said he would contribute to the ransom and then he kept on delaying until I paid it myself in the end. So when I inherited, which was soon after you and I met, I found myself in debt to the tune of over fifty thousand pounds. The estate had been allowed to run down during Father’s absence while I was at court, and our steward and bailiff had not been doing their jobs, and I was left with the option of selling Lea Magna and all its land. I told the king and he then offered to help me out.’
‘Oh, dear,’ Ginny said softly. ‘That usually comes at a price.’
‘It did. He offered me a bride, an heiress in his wardship wealthy enough to cover all my debts and much more. Magdalen Osborn, newly come to court and looking for a titled husband from an ancient family. I was not in a position to refuse if I wanted to keep the estate intact. I was torn, Ginny. I’d just been offered your hand and I was smitten by you.’
‘But everyone I’ve asked tells me how beautiful and clever and witty she was.’
‘She was, but, as you say, Henry’s gifts are costly. He was quite open with me about his motives. He wanted her for himself.’
‘But hadn’t he just married Jane Seymour?’
‘He had, but he expected to get her pregnant almost immediately, and then he would take a mistress. And you know from experience that he prefers them to be married. She was to be his mistress-in-waiting.’
‘Did she know that?’
‘Oh, yes. And, being the kind of woman she was, she found the idea very appealing. Mistresses have power. But she was also the most promiscuous woman I’ve ever known, and if I’d told Henry what I had discovered about her, he would have been less keen. She looked virginal, but she was a whore. Henry offered me more lands and to pay for my father’s funeral, and he set me up with a wealthy wife so that he could use me as insurance. I was to be the passive husband. Oh, he made no secret of it. That was the price of his aid, take it or leave it. So I took it. I couldn’t afford not to. We were married in January, 1537.
‘She knew the situation, and so as soon as Queen Jane’s pregnancy was announced that May, my eager wife took up her duties. It was a wonder she’d not become pregnant herself before then, because she was never faithful to me in the short time we were married. I thought I wouldn’t care, Ginny, but she was boastful, taunting me with her lovers and what they did to pleasure her. Culpeper was one of them. That first night you came to me here, I was stricken by memories of what I might have had with you, Ginny. And I couldn’t tell you.’
‘Oh, my love. I’m so sorry. I knew you were lonely. I wanted to comfort you. What a way to live.’
‘I ought never to have agreed. But it was not long before she became pregnant. After only eight months, she gave birth to Henrietta the following January. She died a week later, just as Queen Jane had done the year before when she gave birth to Prince Edward. But then I was free of her, master of my own estate, wealthy and in debt to the king.’
‘And a father.’
‘Little innocent Etta. The image of Henry.’
‘But I thought your wife must have been caught in the same net as I was, in love with you and you with her, but part of Henry’s scheme. And I assumed you couldn’t bear to see Etta because she reminded you of how you lost a beloved wife.’
‘On the contrary, I couldn’t bear to be reminded of an evil woman who took lovers with such willingness. I felt demeaned and worthless. Cheated of a wife and marriage. I felt that half the court was laughing at me and the other half sympathising. It’s you who reminded me just how innocent little Etta is and how she needs us both. You have been an angel, showing me the way to go, and I love you.’
‘But, Jon, you did it all again with me.’
‘Can you forgive me? I still longed for the beautiful pure young woman I’d fallen in love with, and when Henry suggested—again—that I might take another wife...’
‘For him to borrow whenever he felt like it...’
‘Yes, and then there was young Mistress Virginia D’Arvall, whose father was greedy and eager to agree to it. Henry had seen you at home, and he knew your father would cooperate.’
‘So you agreed. Just like that.’
‘Ginny, darling, I knew tha
t if I didn’t agree, he’d marry you off to somebody else. It’s as simple as that. So I agreed, having not the slightest intention of letting him anywhere near you. I never intended to honour the bargain.’
‘What bargain?’
‘I owed him, remember? For lands. His generosity. For rescuing me. What I had not bargained for was the conflict it caused when I tried my hardest to push Kat Howard under his nose instead of you, when I knew that would result in putting the Howard family in a position of power and my friend and master in danger.’
‘Thomas Cromwell, Earl of Essex.’
‘Yes. You know how Thomas Howard, the third Duke of Norfolk, and Cromwell were sworn enemies, even though they had to work together for Henry? Well, although I was successful in one respect, Cromwell had to pay for it when, as soon as Henry announced that his marriage to Anna of Cleves was over and his marriage to Kat Howard was on, the Howards rose to the top perch and found a way of committing my master to the Tower. And that was the end of him, as he and I both knew it would be. I had to watch them kill him. These past few weeks have not been easy for me, Ginny. Forgive me for neglecting you. I’ve been hard on you, sweetheart.’
She turned round to look up into the eyes so full of anguish, eyes that searched hers for signs of understanding. ‘There’s nothing to forgive, my love,’ she said. ‘It was just unfortunate that she is one of the Howards and that they had it in for the man you admired. Had he been born an aristocrat instead of the son of a brewer, he might not have been so despised. But they don’t like men who work their way to the top, do they? They prefer them to be born there.’
‘Apart from that, Norfolk never forgave Cromwell for closing down Thetford Abbey in Norfolk where his parents were interred in a magnificent tomb. Of course, it was wrecked and that forced them to transfer their bones to Suffolk instead. It’s a sad story, my love, that has dragged innocent people into it.’
‘But, Jon, we don’t have to stay at court, do we?’
With surprising energy, he flipped her over to change positions and she saw how his face reflected the love and desire she had sometimes misread. He had loved her from the beginning and Fate had taken a hand against them, causing Jon to suffer conflicts of loyalty and love, and herself to suffer the ambiguous pangs of rejection and longing. He had coerced her into marriage with him against her pride, not knowing whether she could begin to love him, or whether he could trust in her after his first unhappy experience. If only she had known the full story, she could have helped him more, instead of reaching so many wrong conclusions. ‘Jon, my love. Let’s stay here at Lea Magna. Let’s start again, from the beginning. I have another, very small reason for wanting it.’ She felt Jon’s stillness as her words found a niche in his mind, his dark eyes probing hers to find the merest hint of laughter behind the tears remaining on her lashes.
Slowly, he turned her towards him and gently pulled at the drawstring round the neck of her chemise, baring first one beautiful full breast and then the other, showing him what he expected to see in the darkened skin around the nipples, usually a dainty pink. He stared, then tenderly fondled, stroking the blue-veined skin to soothe the sensitive heaviness. ‘Is this it, sweetheart?’ he whispered. ‘Is this what made you weep? And all this time you’ve been waiting on me hand and foot, riding all this way to nurse me at home and keeping it to yourself? Did you think...?’
‘You were unwell, Jon. I had to get you better first. I wasn’t even sure you’d want it, though I hoped you might like a brother for our Etta.’
‘Beloved...dearest, most wonderful wife. Ah...sweetness.’ Closing his arms around her, his kisses were in answer to all her uncertainties. ‘We’ll do whatever you wish. We’ll have sisters and brothers for Etta, wild, beautiful creatures like their mother and big lads like me. We’ll make the rafters ring with their laughter, shall we?’ His arms gathered her up as his kisses roamed over her tear-stained face, the question of leaving court hardly warranting a reply. ‘Damn Henry’ was all he said.
* * *
Freed from the duties of court life, Ginny and Jon spent every part of the day together with Etta, watching her progress, teaching her new words, playing ball games of every kind, even football with the help of their guest, Lady Agnes, and with Ben, Molly, and Father Spenney. Cheating was all part of the fun. At night, with all the windows open to catch any breeze, the adults lingered on the parched lawn to watch the moon rise into the indigo sky, finally yawning their goodnights and leaving Ginny and Jon alone, hand in hand, happier and more content than either of them had ever thought to be.
She lay her head on his shoulder. ‘I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this,’ she whispered. ‘You’ve been part of my dreams for so long, I think that one day I might wake up and find myself back in my own bed, crying myself to sleep and listening to the rain beat on the windows.’
‘Sweetheart,’ he said, gathering her up closer, ‘this is no dream. It’s real. This is me with you in my arms and that’s how it will stay until we’re old and toothless. We shared the same dream, but we were made to wait, perhaps to test our love, to see if it would last. Ours grew stronger.’
‘But I couldn’t tell love from hate, Jon.’
‘Ah, Fate nearly had you there, didn’t she? She plays that trick on lovers. But she brought us back together again and you were spitting fire. Little dragon.’
Her body shook with laughter in his arms. ‘Did ever lovers go through such trials? Do you remember the first night we spent together?’
‘Determined not to let me near you.’
‘And the masque, when...’
‘When you wore the wrong outfit.’
‘And you shoved Kat Howard at Henry?’
Laughter made them speechless for a while as they clung and kissed, and felt the fierce rise of passion lift their banter to a different level. Jon’s hands were still careful as Ginny took the lead. ‘I think, dear heart, we should continue this in bed. I don’t want to wait any longer. I want you,’ she said, ‘tonight.’
‘Let’s go up,’ he said. ‘I shall be the gentlest father-in-waiting ever.’
In the warm darkness of their room with only a large silver moon to see past the open bed curtains, they lingered over the loving while he drew from her cries of rapture as her body responded to his touch, as he used every artifice and caress to give her the joy they had perfected with a deeper understanding. At last, unfettered by any outside influence, they soared freely into oblivion where only they existed, in tune, with words of love as the perfect accompaniment. ‘You are my heart’s desire,’ Jon said, taking his hand slowly down the length of her body. ‘I loved you from that first moment I saw you standing in a pool of sunlight and I could think of no gallant words to say. All I wanted was to take you in my arms and kiss you and make you say you’d be mine. I thought I’d lost you for ever, my love.’
‘Oh, Jon, and I thought you couldn’t possibly care, even when you were free again. So much has happened to you. It was unfair.’
‘What matters now is that we have no more secrets, no more shameful admissions, nothing to hold us back. You are mine, woman. I won you and I shall hold you for ever. Shall I claim you now?’
‘Yes, take me, beloved. I have always been yours.’ She guided him into her, feeling his warm hardness push against her with a sweetness that made her gasp with excitement. She held her breath, as if to breathe would somehow cause her to miss that first deep, gentle, slow plunge that rippled across every nerve like wavelets before they break on the shore. Her breath finally emerged as a whimper.
‘Did I hurt you, sweetheart? Was that too rough?’
‘No...no, Jon. It’s just...too wonderful.’
He smiled and kissed her without breaking his rhythm, then talking stopped as they allowed the sensation to overwhelm them and to carry them on into a time-stopping place of sheer ecstasy where Jon’s p
assion urged him on still further to a conclusion more sublime than anything either of them had experienced before. Earth-shattering. The aftershock left them both reeling from the intensity, mindless and sated.
‘What happened?’ Ginny whispered as Jon withdrew from her.
He took her hand and held it between them, and she felt that he was on the verge of laughter. ‘I think,’ he said, ‘we might just have moved the earth between us. Lie still, my darling.’
She did not, of course, do what she was told, and soon the white-gold hair was spread across his arm as she slept in the crook of his shoulder with one hand trapped upon his chest.
* * *
Convinced that the terrible drought would soon have to end, they accompanied Lady Agnes, Ben, and Father Spenney back to D’Arvall Hall before going on to Richmond Palace to visit the Lady Anna. The ex-queen was in the garden playing a game of skittles with Master Holbein, the Princesses Mary and Elizabeth, and several of their ladies. They had never seen her looking so happy, so fresh-faced and contented after her disastrous start earlier that year, and the laughter that echoed across the pristine lawns made even the dour-faced gardener smile.
Entertaining them all to supper that evening, Anna gave them the chance to see how well her household was organised and to meet some of the many guests who flocked to her doors. Although she was reluctant to accept Ginny’s decision to spend more time at home, she could see how much it meant to her to make up for lost time and to raise a family. ‘But who shall I have to advise me now, Ginny?’ she said.
‘My lady, that was months ago. Now you have no need of advice. You have style and grace, and all the things Henry’s new queen does not.’
The compliment obviously pleased her and, when they left the next morning, she threw her arms around Ginny like a sister. ‘Visit me often,’ she said. ‘I shall want to know as soon as the baby is due. And write to me? Promise?’
Betrayed, Betrothed and Bedded Page 22