by Scott Meyer
A distant voice shouted, “Hey! Hey Martin!”
Martin turned, and back at the railing that marked the edge of the public square where all the action had occurred, amongst the throng of Atlanteans, he saw Ampyx waving his arms. Martin covered the space between them in one long, gliding step, standing on one of the rooftops beneath the railing.
“Ampyx! Are you okay?”
Ampyx said, “Yeah, my knee hurts, but it could have been much worse. I see you caught him.”
Martin said, “Yeah. Always knew we would in the end.” He lifted Nilo up for the crowd to see, like a child showing off his favorite toy. “Look everyone, it’s Nilo! Say hello to Nilo.”
A surprising number of people actually did yell, “Hi, Nilo.”
“So, what do we do now?” Ampyx asked.
“Go find Gwen, I guess.”
“Can I come?”
Martin said, “Sure,” then looked at his hands. One was holding his staff, the other was holding Nilo. He couldn’t really let go of either. He looked perplexed for a moment, then jammed Nilo into one of his armpits and stretched out his now free hand to carry Ampyx.
34.
The sorceresses watched the distant lights and listened to the horrific noises coming from the upper ring as if it were some bizarre fireworks show. Most of it had been just a little too distant to make out from their vantage point, near the lowest part of the city. It was mainly distant shrieking noises and weird, faint glows, but the Chinese dragon was large enough to get everyone’s attention, then the wall of fire held their attention. The tiny-looking, normal-sized man bursting through the wall, pursued by a giant silver wizard, made for a pretty satisfying finale for everyone except Ida.
Gwen knew who the giant silver wizard was, and when he started standing around casually, with what appeared to be a human being clamped helplessly in his hand, she knew what that meant.
Gwen asked Louiza, “Mind if I send them a signal to come down here?”
Louiza said, “Knock yourself out. It should be interesting to hear what they have to say.”
Gwen poked and swiped at the air in front of her, then traced an arrow shape, and in the sky directly above her position, a huge blinking-blue arrow appeared directly overhead. The sorceresses had a chuckle when they saw the silver giant notice, then point at the arrow.
Martin placed Ampyx on the back of the Chinese dragon along with John, the dragon’s rider. Martin retrieved Nilo from his underarm, and slowly flew down to the center of the city. All of the wizards who had assisted him followed. As they flew, Martin heard Vikram shout, “I put out a call to all the delegates I know to meet us at the arrow and pass the message along. Whatever happens, I think it would be good to have plenty of witnesses.”
Soon, Giant Martin touched down in the park, just beyond the railing of Brit the Elder’s patio. He looked down to the sorceresses, said, “Ladies,” and touched the squirming and protesting Nilo to the brim of his hat as a sign of greeting.
It took only a moment for Martin to lose the undivided attention of his audience. He looked over his shoulder and was a bit disgusted by what he saw. He knew the Chinese wizard was riding his dragon down, giving Ampyx a lift in the process, but he hadn’t expected the Incan to bring the ghost-conquistador along, and he’d assumed that Gilbert and Sid would go ahead and ditch their Cthulhu and Fek’lhr disguises. He certainly hadn’t expected to see winged Chihuahuas flying in behind him. They had Nilo in custody. There was no need for all of this shock and awe, but then Martin remembered that they’d been able to see that many of the sorceresses had gathered at their destination, and Martin realized that these guys would not choose to turn off their most impressive spells before the ladies got a chance to see them.
I guess I’m lucky that Vikram didn’t bring the snakes, Martin thought bitterly. There’s nothing a showoff hates more than a competing showoff.
Vikram’s call had been more successful than expected. Most of the city had become aware of the chaos Martin and Nilo had started, and when the call to the delegates went out saying that the danger was probably over, but the interesting bit was not, they all came running—or rather, flying. Less than a minute after Gwen had sent up her arrow, every magic user in Atlantis was gathered together—the sorceresses on Brit’s raised patio, and the delegates in the park below.
Rather than try to get everyone up to speed herself, Gwen simply asked Ampyx to tell everyone what had happened when they confronted Ida. He stood, surrounded by his audience, and explained the whole thing. Gwen was betting that he, as a naïve non-magical type, would be believed more readily than she or Martin, and by the time he finished, she could see that she’d been right.
Louiza thanked Ampyx, then turned to Ida and asked, “Would you like to say anything in your defense?”
Ida started to say something, but she saw the looks on the faces of the sorceresses, her former friends, and realized that more talking was not the solution to her problems. The jig was up, all the way up. Any attempt at a defense would just be perceived as a new crime, like a child who steals a cookie, then lies to his parents about it. She simply shook her head no.
“And how about you—Nilo, is it? Anything to say for yourself?” Louiza shouted.
Nilo shouted, “How dare you question her? How dare you question either of us? She is your president! She is your rightful ruler! You should defer to her as she defers to me, her man.”
Louiza said, “Interesting.”
“Silence, woman! You’ve forgotten your place. You’ve all forgotten your place! This whole city you’ve built is a perversion, and I’ve tolerated it for about as long as I can. You have forgotten your place. You are women. Women! You are here to serve the needs of men.”
With commendable calm, Louiza said, “Women built this city and invited you to live here. We rule the city and make sure everything works. We bend the laws of time and space. We do that. We women.”
“Yes,” Nilo said triumphantly, as if she had made his point for him. “That is how you serve us. That is your place, to make a peaceful and pleasant place for your men while we do the important work.”
Louiza said, “You do what we want you to.”
Nilo sneered derisively, “And that’s what is wrong. We should do what we want.”
“While we do everything else?” Louiza asked.
Nilo said, “If that’s what your man wants. Always remember, you are here to serve men. It is not natural for men to do women’s bidding!”
Louiza said, “Then you’re not gonna like this. Martin, please shut him up.”
Martin said, “Yes, ma’am,” then flicked Nilo’s head again, and sent him back to the giant armpit for a time out. Nilo’s legs kicked furiously, but he was effectively silenced.
Louiza stepped forward, and in a loud, confident voice said, “I am not in charge here. Nobody has elected me. I have no official rank. I only stepped forward to organize things because I saw that someone had to. While we are on Atlantean ground, the crimes committed here have affected one of our guests as well, so for this matter, I personally think the delegates should have an equal say in how we proceed. Does anyone object?”
The silence was long and pronounced enough to be a clear answer.
“Okay,” Louiza continued. “Good. Delegates, rest assured that Ida and Nilo will be punished, and we can certainly discuss who will determine what that punishment will be. But before that, I think we need to find out definitively what happened to the wizard Phillip, and the sorceresses Brit the Elder and Brit the Younger. Does anyone object to that?”
Brit the Elder raised her hand and said, “I object to you referring to me as if I were two separate people, but I’m willing to let that go for now.”
Louiza said, “Fair enough. Thanks, Brit.” Then she, along with almost everybody else, spent the next few moments silently freaking out, and listening to Ida cur
se.
Brit the Elder smiled and said, “Ida, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you weren’t happy to see me.”
Ida’s unbecoming anger faded, and was quickly replaced with an equally unbecoming expression of hope. “No! Brit, on the contrary, I’m very happy to see you. All these people thought Nilo had killed you and that I’d helped, but the fact that you’re here proves that he didn’t do it.”
“Ida, dear, the fact that I still live only really proves that Nilo didn’t succeed in killing me. I am living proof that he failed. Usually I say a miss is as good as a mile, but in this case I’m willing to give him full credit for having tried his hardest. As for you, you tried to help him, and you succeeded.”
Ida cried, “But I didn’t—”
“Yes, you did,” Brit the Elder said, interrupting.
“I didn’t think—”
“No, you didn’t,” Brit agreed.
“I was sure he couldn’t—”
“But you were happy to let him try.”
“But, then where are—”
“Younger me and Phillip are fine. We’ll get to that. Don’t jump ahead.”
Ida whined, “But I didn’t do—”
Finally, Brit the Elder had had enough. She snapped, “I know what you did. I know exactly what you both did. I saw the whole thing, twice, from two different angles. I lived through what your houseboy did to me, then I had over a century to think about it, then I got to spend the last week watching you do it all over again, so don’t talk to me about what you did and didn’t do, because at this point I know it all better than you do. I know what you did, I know what all these good people have done, and I know how we will all decide to punish you.”
Ida gave a sickly smile, and said, “Really, do you know about this?” She hastily traced a shape in the air with broad, slashing gestures, shouted, “Evac, evac, evac!” and she and Nilo both disappeared.
Brit said, “As a matter of fact, I did.”
She turned around to address the throng of magic users who surrounded her, both on her patio and on the turf below. “Don’t worry, everyone. I know exactly where they went. I’m going to let them have one more happy night together, thinking they got away with it, just to make it that much more painful for them when they’re caught. When they wake up tomorrow morning, they’ll find me, younger me, and Phillip waiting at the foot of their bed, and believe me, the look on their faces will be priceless.”
Louiza asked, “But what if they get away from you?”
“They won’t.”
“But, how can you be sure?” Louiza persisted.
“Like I said,” Brit explained, “when I was younger, I came along. Besides, you know full well that thanks to the file there’s nowhere they can possibly go where we wouldn’t easily find them.”
Gwen spoke up. “Um, there might be a problem there. The file’s been locked down. Martin and I both tried to access it from several different places, and it’s been password protected.”
Brit smiled. “First of all, thank you, Gwen, for trying.” She raised her voice so all could hear. “Thank you to everyone for having helped bring Nilo and Ida to justice, but particularly, I’d like to thank Ampyx, Gwen, and Martin, and to Gwen and Martin I also want to apologize. I’m the one who locked you out of the file. Think of it as a proof of concept for things we’ll be discussing later in the week. Besides, I couldn’t have you bringing Phillip and me back prematurely, could I? Speaking of which . . .”
Brit the Elder swiped her finger through the air, scrolling through options only she could see. Finally she jabbed at the air before her, and Brit the Younger and Phillip materialized. They were both wearing T-shirts, shorts, and sneakers. Brit had a pair of black mouse ears with “Brit” embroidered on the back in gold thread. Phillip had a similar set of ears that said “Phil.”
To the other sorceresses, Brit the Elder had always seemed a little aloof, a bit above them. They all adored and respected her, but from a distance. Brit the Younger had always been more approachable, so they approached her from all sides, making it clear that they were happy she was back and was all right.
Phillip looked out over the assembled wizards, nodded, and said, “Hey, guys.”
Some of the wizards waved. All of them muttered some variation on the phrase, “Hi, good to see you.”
While the sorceresses were greeting Brit the Younger to within an inch of her life, Gwen caught a glimpse of Brit the Elder watching them, and she could have sworn that Brit the Elder looked jealous, but then Brit the Elder made a few quick swipes at the air, raised her hand, and projected a force field over the sorceresses just in time to stop the hail of arrows Nilo had created during his battle with the wizards, arrows that had fallen uselessly to the ground before, but were drawn to Brit the Younger as soon as she reappeared. With that, Brit the Elder no longer looked jealous.
Martin reverted to his normal size and appearance and went to join Phillip. They shook hands and mumbled some bland greetings, expressing their feelings by making an obvious effort to ignore them, as was their way.
“So, what happened?” Martin asked.
Phillip said, “We went through the portal and immediately found ourselves underwater. We sank for a few seconds. I couldn’t do any magic without my staff. We should really do something about that, by the way.”
Martin said, “I’ve come to the same conclusion. Go on.”
“Well, I realized that Brit couldn’t do any magic with me holding onto her hand. So I let go, and just as she started to work a spell, we teleported again. We found ourselves in a hotel room. We coughed and sputtered for a bit, then we realized that Brit the Elder was standing there watching us.”
“What did she say?” Martin asked.
“She offered us towels. Then Brit yelled at her until she got tired. Then she explained that you and Gwen would sort things out, and that everything would work out for the best, but for that to happen, the three of us had to disappear for a little while. How long have we been gone?”
Martin said, “Hours. You disappeared into the wall this morning. Why? How long have you been gone?”
“A week. Brit the Elder did two great things for us. She got us a week at Walt Disney World during EPCOT’s grand opening, and she left us alone to enjoy it. The only catch was that we couldn’t contact anyone. We had to let events here unfold the way she remembered.”
“Did you stay on-property?” Martin asked.
Phillip said, “The Polynesian Resort.”
“Nice,” Martin said.
“It was. It gave us something to do together that didn’t require us to just focus on our relationship problems the whole time. Real problems stick around, of course, but the nice thing about the unimportant, made-up problems is that if you ignore them long enough, they really will just go away.”
Martin smiled. “I’m glad you two had a good time. I’ve spent the afternoon arguing with Gwen, grieving my best friend, and being savagely beaten in front of a large audience.”
Phillip said, “I’m sorry I missed it.” Martin believed him.
Brit the Elder raised her hand to get everyone’s attention. When that didn’t work, she cleared her throat. When that didn’t work, she said, “Pardon me.” When that didn’t work, she summoned a lightning bolt that struck her, temporarily blinding, deafening, and terrifying the whole group.
“I apologize,” she said as the wizards and sorceresses tried to compose themselves. “All these dragons, monsters, and giants sort of got me in the mood. Anyway, I believe we’ve all had enough excitement for one night. I move that we adjourn for the evening, then reconvene the summit in the morning at the usual time. I suggest all sorceresses attend as well. I think all will agree that we have pressing business to deal with, and that we are now prepared to deal with it in a manner we were unable to before today. Together.”
“That’s not to say that there will not be difficulty,” she said. “While we are all smiles today, I know that tomorrow, many of you will not be happy with me, because, to be honest, I have manipulated you all. I know this because I remember it.” She gestured to Brit the Younger, who clearly still did not enjoy being used as a prop by her older self. “See?” Brit the Elder continued. “You can tell from the look on my face that even I am not happy with me. More so by the second, it would appear.”
Everyone looked to Brit the Younger, to see how angry she looked. Brit the Younger looked around angrily. Everyone quickly looked away.
Brit the Elder said, “Anyway, as I said, tomorrow we start the real work of this summit. Deciding on a punishment for Ida and Nilo, setting up a mechanism for all of us time travelers to govern ourselves fairly, and making the hard decisions necessary to ensure that nothing this stupid and pointless ever happens again.”
35.
The open-air café was busy, full of Atlanteans and more than a few delegates enjoying their last meal in town before going home, now that the summit had ended. Ampyx sat alone at a table for several minutes before Martin and Gwen arrived, both looking terrible. Ampyx stood as they approached. Martin smiled and winced simultaneously, a move that is almost impossible unless you are hung over, in which case it is difficult to avoid.
“Amp,” Martin said, “I see the knee is better.”
Ampyx shook Martin’s hand, hugged Gwen, and said, “Yes, it’s like nothing ever happened. That Louiza is a great doctor. It’s a shame you had to make her president.”
Gwen said, “Eh, don’t worry. She’ll still be spending most of her time as a doctor. Being president of Atlantis is a part-time job.”
“And besides,” Martin said, “she goes up for re-election in a year, just like the chancellor, and both jobs are limited to only two consecutive terms, so that should ensure lots of turnover in the council of three.”
Ampyx said, “There’s a lot I don’t understand about how you all do things, and one of them is why you still call it the council of three when there are four people in it.”