by Harper West
Eva nods slowly. “We all have to make tough choices,” she says. “But I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors.”
And just like, I’m jobless.
And in another few months, I’ll have a baby.
Welcome to the rest of your life, I think to myself as I ride the elevator down to the busy NYC ground. You have no one to thank but yourself.
As soon as I get home, I start throwing things in a suitcase. It’s funny, I’ve always prided myself on being a really good packer: someone who rolls clothes to save space instead of folding them. Someone who has a little plastic case for her toothbrush head, so it doesn’t get the rest of my stuff wet. Someone who puts toiletries in plastic bags, coded by color depending on the type of personal need.
Not today, though. I’m throwing things in my bag in a random, haphazard fashion that would likely make Martha Stewart cry. I don’t even pay attention to what I’m choosing from my bureau and the closet – I just grab handfuls of things and toss them in.
By the time I’m done packing, my room looks like a hurricane. I feel a brief pang of guilt – I’m leaving, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.
I don’t even know that I’ll have the money for my share of the rent, and it’s due in less than two weeks.
What a mess.
I’m still surveying the damage when Penny arrives. She comes up behind me, startling me with her footsteps. Whirling around, I take a deep breath and face her.
“I have to go away for a while,” I say breathlessly. “I ... I just can’t be here right now. I’m sorry.”
It’s a weak excuse – only slightly stronger than the lies I fed to Eva, back at SMX, but Penny nods.
“It’s a big city, Jilly,” she says gently. “You don’t have to go all the way to Jersey to hide, you know.”
I swallow hard. “It could be the biggest city in the world and I’d still need some space,” I say.
“What are you going to do?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Go to my mom and cry on her shoulder until I feel strong enough to face the world again?”
“There are worse ideas,” Penny admits. She leans in and hugs me and the gesture brings tears to my eyes.
I should tell her that I quit my job.
Hell, I should tell her a lot of things.
But I can’t, so I don’t. I pull away, grab my bag, and walk to the front door.
“I’m going to rent a car,” I say. “I’ll be in touch, okay?”
Penny nods.
Just for a second before my hand reaches the doorknob, I hesitate.
What if this isn’t the right decision?
What if I go back to SMX, right now, and track down my lovers to tell them the truth?
I have to admit, the crazy idea is strangely tempting. I have a feeling that once everything is out in the open, I won’t feel like such shit anymore. I probably won’t be nauseous and anxious nearly every moment of the day.
But I can’t. I’m not strong like Mason and Jay.
And I have to protect my baby, because God only knows what they’ll wanna do about her.
Taking one last look around my apartment, I flee for the safety of my parents.
Chapter 18
Jay
“I don’t fucking get it,” Mason growls. He’s standing behind his desk with his palms planted flat, staring down at the wood as if he’s looking at a map.
“I know,” I agree. “How the fuck could she just disappear like that?”
It’s been a week since either of us have seen Jilly. I thought the worst – that she was sick, or just sick of us, and that was why she hadn’t been coming into work. I couldn’t stand being ignored by her.
Neither could Mason.
But when we went down to her desk just now, to plead forgiveness for whatever thing we’d done, her boss told us that she’d up and quit on the spot last week.
“Did you talk to that woman in HR? What’s her name?”
“Eva,” I say. “And no.”
“Let’s go,” Mason says in a low voice. “We have to find her, Jay.”
The two of us stride out of my office, take the elevator down several floors, and barge into Human Resources. Eva is sitting behind her desk, typing rapidly. At the sound of our footsteps, her head snaps up.
“Yes?” Eva asks. She immediately looks concerned – it has to be because both Mason and I are glaring at her. I’ve never seen Mason look so angry before, and I have to imagine that my face is a mirror of his.
Something happened to our girl, our perfect girl, and we’re not gonna stand for this shit.
“Where’s Jilly Harmon?” Mason demands. “Where is she?”
The blood leaves Eva’s face. “Sir, I’m afraid that’s confiden—”
“I’m the motherfucking CEO of this company,” Mason thunders. “And if you don’t tell me, I’ll fire you on the spot.”
Eva gasps.
“She quit,” she says after a long pause. “I was surprised. She came in last week and said that she has some kind of ... personal matter to take care of.”
“She didn’t give notice?” I ask incredulously. Knowing Jilly as I do, it seems incredibly unlike her.
What the hell happened?
“No,” Eva says. She shakes her head. “I tried to tell her that at least two weeks is customary, but you know. Those young girls. She probably got a better offer. For what it’s worth, she seemed very upset about the whole thing. She was crying.”
Mason turns to me, a deep frown etched on his features.
“That doesn’t sound like her at all,” he says. “She didn’t say shit to me about it.”
Eva looks confused, and I wonder how much she really knows about the three of us.
“Well, I know it’s a blow, but she was an administrative assistant. I can assure both of you that we’re already in the process of replacing her.”
“There’s no one who can replace her,” I growl under my breath, and Eva gives me a startled look.
“I meant her position, Mr. Harper, of course,” she says quickly.
“What’s her home address?” Mason asks.
For a moment, I can tell that Eva wants to push back. But the look on Mason’s face – and the veins bulging at the side of his temples – are enough to convince her, and she quickly types something into the computer.
“She lives in Brooklyn,” Eva says, before giving us a street name and a building number. When we don’t say anything, she clears her throat. “Is there ... anything else I can do for you gentlemen?”
“No,” Mason snaps. “You’ve done enough.”
He storms out of Eva’s office and I follow, right on his heels.
“Why didn’t you have her address?” I ask Mason. “You sent her all those dresses.”
“I had Allison do it,” Mason says. He groans. “And I have a feeling that bitch was part of the problem. She’s jealous. She probably put her nose right in our fucking business and said something to Jilly. Why else would she have left?”
I frown. “Why didn’t she come to us? Why didn’t she say something?”
“I don’t fucking know,” Mason says. “But we’re going to find out.”
I text Rafe, my driver, and he picks us up outside of the SMX building five minutes later. There’s already afternoon traffic, and the ride into Brooklyn takes an excruciatingly long time. By the time we get to Jilly’s building, I’m starting to think that would have actually been quicker to take the subway, something I haven’t done in years.
Her building doesn’t look like much from the outside – and why would it? She’s not privileged, like Mason and me.
That’s one of the reasons why I fell so hard for her.
We race up the stairs, to the third story, and pound on the door.
“Jilly, answer the goddamned door,” Mason calls, rapping again with his knuckles.
“Jilly, come on,” I groan. “It’s us – we just want to talk to you.”
There’s s
till no answer.
“If you don’t open the door, I’ll kick it in,” Mason yells loudly.
Finally, there’s the thunder of footsteps and I hear the sound of multiple locks being opened, followed by a chain.
But when the door opens, it’s not Jilly. A tall, slender girl with blonde hair in a high bun is staring at us with wide eyes. She looks terrified and she gasps when Mason elbows past her and walks into the apartment.
“Who the fuck are you?” I ask. “And where’s Jilly?”
“Uhm, uh, Penny,” she says quickly. “And she’s not here right now,” Penny says in a high, frightened voice.
“I didn’t ask if she was here, I asked where she was,” I demand loudly.
“I ... I don’t know that she’d want me to tell you,” Penny says. She’s shaking.
Hot anger bubbles up inside of me. “We love her,” I growl. “And she fucking vanished without a trace. We have no fucking clue where she is, and all we want is to know if she’s okay.”
“She ...” Penny trails off nervously and looks down at the floor. “Um, I don’t really know that it’s my place to tell you.”
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll fucking find out anyway,” Mason threatens. “You think we’re not powerful enough to hire the best investigators in the city? You really want someone coming here, ripping up your shit and demanding to know where she is?”
Penny’s eyes are as big as saucers and she gives a brief shake of her head.
“I didn’t think so,” I add. “You can stop this right now. Just tell us where she is.”
Penny gulps nervously. “She’s pregnant,” she says quickly. “And she thought you’d be mad, so she ran to her parents. They live in Jersey. That’s why she quit the job. She didn’t want you to find out. I don’t really know what she thought, she was in such a rush to get out of here. She was really upset. As soon as she found out, she cried all the time.”
“What?” Mason and I speak in unison, growling the word so loudly that Penny jumps.
“She’s pregnant,” Penny says softly.
We’re stunned.
We’re shocked.
But most of all, we’re incredibly angry.
“How the fuck could she keep something like that from us?” Mason snarls at me. “We’re the ones responsible!”
“She’s going to have a baby – our baby! – and she fucking thought she could keep it a secret?” I demand incredulously. “That makes no fucking sense to me.”
“We have to get her back,” Mason says, raking a hand through his dark hair and pacing intensely in the living room.
“As soon as possible,” I echo. “She’s our woman, and we have to take care of her.”
“And she’s going to have a baby,” Mason says, shaking his head. “A baby. Can you imagine that? You ever thought you’d be a father?”
“No,” I say loudly.
Penny watches us, growing steadily more freaked out by the minute.
“You guys aren’t mad at her, though, right?”
We turn to her in silence.
“Of course not,” I say icily. “We love her. We want to take care of her. We’re only angry that she felt that she had to hide this from us.”
Penny swallows. “God, she’s gonna kill me,” she says softly, covering her face with her hands. “Her parents live in Chester. You know how to get there?”
“We’ll figure it out,” Mason says darkly. “You have the address?”
Penny nods.
As soon as Mason’s finished writing it down, he turns to me.
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s go get our girl.”
Chapter 19
Jilly
I haven’t been at my parents’ house for very long, but I’ve already established a routine: sleep in late, then have coffee with my mom on the back porch while she smokes a cigarette and has her third cup of tea. We plan dinner together and go to the grocery store, then come home. She takes a nap while I usually lie in my high school bedroom and read. After she wakes up, we cook dinner together. My father comes home and we eat together, as a family.
I know I should be looking for jobs or doing anything other than acting like a college kid on leave for the summer, but I can’t. Being stuck in my head and thinking about the baby, and about Mason and Jay is wearing me out.
I’m out back, sitting at the little table and chairs that Dad got Mom for Mother’s Day one year, wearing a bikini that I found in my old dresser. It doesn’t really fit anymore – my boobs are practically pushing out of the cups and the tiny panty bottom doesn’t cover my round ass – but it’s hot outside, and I’m sunning my little baby bump. I can really see it now, and I smile as I reach down and put my hand there.
We’ve been through a lot, you and I, I think to my baby. But you’re going to have a great life. You’re very much wanted, so don’t you ever worry about that.
Just as I’m about to go inside for a glass of iced tea, I hear the sound of heavy footsteps. Immediately, my heart lurches to the side. Dad is at work and Mom is at book club – who the heck is here?
I get to my feet, suddenly feeling more exposed in my obscene bikini than I do when I’m actually naked. When the back door opens, I gasp.
Mason and Jay are standing not ten feet in front of me. Their faces are twin, unreadable masks and I can’t help but shriek.
“What are you doing here?” I sputter and gasp. “Why did you come?”
Mason strides towards me. “How the fuck could you leave us like that?”
“You’re carrying our child,” Jay thunders, just as loudly as Mason. “How could you do that, Jilly?”
“Have you been taking care of yourself?” Mason demands. “Sleeping enough? Not drinking, I hope,” he adds icily, glancing down at my empty cup.
“... It was iced tea,” I say faintly. It’s all I can say in this moment.
“Have you been to the doctor?” Jay growls.
“We’ll find you a good one,” Mason adds.
The two of them stare at me for a long moment, holding my gaze until my cheeks burn and I have to look down at my feet.
“I’m sorry,” I say faintly. “I ... I thought you’d be mad. I didn’t know what I thought. I thought maybe you’d want me to get rid of the baby, and I couldn’t do that, and—”
Before I can keep speaking, Mason and Jay have swept me up into their arms. I’m kissing their lips, turning from one man to the other.
“You stupid, silly little girl,” Mason croons, stroking my hair. “How could you think that?”
“We love you,” Jay says. “Very much.”
“You love me?” I gasp as tears come to my eyes. I can’t stop myself from crying as they begin to drip down my cheeks. “Really?”
“We do,” Mason says. He swallows hard and I realize that he’s no longer angry.
They were only mad because they love me – and the baby – and they want us to be safe, I realize.
“I love you, too,” I say. “Both, I mean.”
“Good,” Jay says in a husky voice. He kisses me deeply, slipping his tongue into my mouth as Mason strokes my body in a way that makes me shiver and shake with desire.
When I break the kiss with Jay, I turn to Mason.
“None of this would be possible if it wasn’t for you,” I say softly.
“You’d better get used to it,” Mason says quietly.
“Because we’re never letting you out of our sight, not ever again,” Jay adds.
I smile so widely that my cheeks ache.
“Good,” I say. “Because I never want to be apart from either of you again.”
Mason and Jay embrace me. Despite the heat outside, I suddenly feel cold and the warmth from their muscular, large bodies is just the perfect thing to keep me warm.
That’s when I feel it.
“Oh my gosh!” I shriek, jumping into the air.
Mason and Jay both look alarmed, stepping back as if they’ve hurt me.
I burst into laughter
. “She kicked,” I say, crying for real now. “She kicked for the first time.”
“Oh my god,” Mason says.
I’m still grinning as I reach for one of his hands and one of Jay’s. Taking them to my exposed belly, I press both of their hands against my skin.
“She might do it again,” I say. “Now that she knows her daddies are here.”
“Daddies,” Jay says, marveling at the word.
“I ... I realize that I don’t know whose baby this is,” I say in a small voice. “That’s one of the reasons why I was so afraid to tell you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Mason says firmly.
“Really?” I ask.
“Really,” Jay says. “We’ve been partners for so long, it doesn’t even matter at this point. The only thing that matters is your safety, Jilly.”
“As long as I’m with both of you, I’ll be safe,” I say.
“Life has been hell without you, sweet girl,” Mason says. He strokes my hair and I gaze adoringly up at him.
“For me, too,” I admit.
As the three of us embrace, I close my eyes and rest my head against Jay’s chest. Mason is holding me by the hips, and I realize that I’ve never felt so secure in my life. Now that I’m reunited with my lovers, life can begin again.
Epilogue
Jilly – One Year Later
“Mmmn,” I moan softly, closing my eyes and arching my back. “That feels so good, baby.”
“Good,” Mason growls. He’s kneeling at my side, gently rubbing lotion onto my swollen belly. “That’s the idea.”
On the other side of me, Jay is crouched down by my feet, rubbing them with the same, sandalwood-scented lotion. The room is dark and dimly lit with a few well-placed candles, and we’re all together in the king-size bed that we share every night.
“This is my happy place,” I say, unable to stop myself from moaning again as Jay starts rubbing the arch of my foot.
“You’re my happy place, sweet girl,” Mason growls.
Being pregnant for the second time has been a much more enjoyable experience than my first pregnancy. I’ve barely had any morning sickness, and I feel the way that pregnant women are truly supposed to feel: glowing and fertile and sexual. My lips are swollen, and my hair has body for seemingly the first time in my life. I feel so sensual all the time – sometimes I even catch myself staring into the mirror at my own reflection.