by Sujit Das
During this period, the child struggles hard with an important developmental task – the formation of a healthy, autonomous self. The caregivers and parents are required to be tolerant, sympathetic and clear on boundaries of what is good and bad, for which they first need to have a realistic sense both of themselves and of the child. They should also be able to control their own aggressive impulses; otherwise, a healthy mental development of the child is threatened.
If Amina was a Narcissist, she created a fertile ground for the creation of a future Narcissist. Muhammad remained trapped in the narcissistic position like an extension of his mother just as she was of him. His sense of self became grandiose and unrealistic, and at the same time he remained dependent on approval from others for self-esteem. Though Muhammad gave the impression of a well-balanced man in his adulthood, it is certain that he had a conflict-ridden psychological dependence on other people.
3.6.4: Why Allah did not allow Muhammad to pray for his mother?
The simple logic is, Muhammad could not forgive his mother even long after her death. God cannot be unjust, and God’s unwillingness in this case is just absurd. Allah was a “finger-puppet” of Muhammad. Thus Allah said whatever Muhammad wanted Him to say. Underneath this dramatic divine rejection there remains the fact that it is impossible for a Narcissist to forgive someone particularly his mother. He has overly complicated relationship with his parents, mainly with his mother. As Zayn & Dibble (2007, p. 5) wrote, “ Sometimes the Narcissist shares stories about his childhood or reveals specific details about his mother, which demonstrate a possible strained mother/son relationship .”
For a Narcissist his parents never die; they live on to torment him, to persecute and prosecute him, and to put him on constant trial (Vaknin, 1999, p. 172). Their criticism, mental torture, apathy, other forms of abuse and berating him – all these things live long after their physical death. This is the internal chaos that haunts the Narcissist. Even after several decades of his mother’s death, Muhammad was still tormented because he had a bitter and complicated relationship with his mother. Therefore, it was not Allah who prevented Muhammad from praying for his mother, but it was Muhammad’s own preference which he skillfully put on Allah. If Allah was really so angry with Muhammad’s mother, why He allowed Muhammad to visit her grave? How disgusting it is to think that the God is still angry with a woman who is dead for over half a century.
The display of outburst of fake emotions had specific purpose to obtain certain result. By shedding few drops of crocodile tears, Muhammad sent a deceitful emotional message to mislead the people around him. Narcissist’s parents are narcissistic supply sources. By ignoring his mother in front of others, though long after her death, Muhammad’s false self just “reinvested” itself through the look of others. Once he devalued his mother, his own value was increased, but at the same time he proved that he was not cruel. By mimicking real emotions artfully, Muhammad made other people believe that he was more human than common. It was his “mask of sanity”.
3.6.5: The Narcissistic Supply Sources of Muhammad
The narcissistic supply means quite specifically the activities and relationships that reinforced Muhammad’s grandiosity. Muhammad demanded total obedience and required excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation from his followers. He reinvested himself through the look of his followers.
He (Muhammad) cannot be questioned concerning what He does and they shall be questioned (for theirs) . (Q: 21.23)
In order that ye may believe in Allah and His Messenger, that ye may assist and honour Him, and celebrate His praise morning and evening. (Q: 48.9).
The Prophet said, ‘None of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father, his children and all mankind’ . (Bukhari: 1.2.14)
In the above quotes, Muslims are being exhorted to not only help and obey Muhammad without question but also to love, revere and glorify him day and night! Muhammad wrote the verse 48.9 and put it in Allah’s mouth to make himself a cult-figure – an object of praise, worship and glorification! More precisely, the malignant Narcissist was hunting for narcissistic supply sources.
A Narcissist is forced to use other people in order to feel that he exists. This is called “reinforcing feedback” (Masterson, 1990, p. 92). His sense of self-worth and self-esteem derive entirely from audience feedback because he has no self-esteem or self-worth (no such ego functions). In the absence of observers he shrivels to nonexistence and feels dead. Hence the Narcissist’s preying habit in his constant pursuit of narcissistic supply. It is an addictive behavior. Since at any cost the Narcissists have to protect their false images, they are often restless (Masterson, 1990, p. 92). Muhammad was continuously under pressure to maintain his status of a Prophet. During the last ten years of his prophetic career he had launched not less than eighty-six raids to plunder his enemies and had taken part personally in twenty-seven (Guillaume, 1955, p. 659). Under his order, the Muslim army fought many major battles to establish Islam.
After thirteen years of preaching, Muhammad could not gather more than a handful converts. Since the early Muslims were mostly slaves who had hardly any social standing, he was desperate to convert some influential people. During the pilgrimage season, Muhammad used to irritate the chiefs of tribes visiting the Ka’ba and invited them to embrace Islam. This way, he became a menace to the pilgrims. The keepers of Ka’ba knew that if Muhammad started babbling his nonsense to the pilgrims, it would detrimentally impact the revenue streams. So his influential uncle Abu Lahab used to follow him and warn the visiting the chiefs in advance.
Abu Lahab said: ‘Muhammad is trying to bewitch you’. With that the Quraysh got up and left before the Messenger could speak. (Ishaq: 118).
It clearly shows that Muhammad’s eagerness to gain some influential converts to his faith was so intense that it appeared he had gone crazy. As Zayn & Dibble (2007, p. 7) commented, “ Usually, the ‘objects’, with which the Narcissist chooses to merge, have traits or characteristics that the Narcissist wishes himself to obtain. That is why he is drawn to people with strengths in certain areas. We are supposed to feel flattered when we realize that even though it seemed like chance that we are brought together, that the Narcissist actually ‘hand-picked’ us due to particular positive characteristics and strengths that we possessed” . Influential converts, i.e., “objects” with special strengths mean more narcissistic supply.
At Medina, Muhammad showed his real face. When he came to Medina, he was penniless. He was given asylum but what Muhammad gave them in return? He assassinated his critics, subdued them by dividing the population and established his rein of terror in that city to gain control. A Narcissist does everything with one goal in mind: attracting more narcissistic supplies (Vaknin, 1999, p. 98). In this respect, the Narcissists behave like alcoholics. They do not know when to stop but ask for more, more and yet more. They are always hungry and look for new victims. Muhammad wanted converts not because he was interested in humans. He never loved a human in his life; he only wanted to be surrounded with the “right” people who would appreciate and advertise him as the chosen Prophet of Allah. It does not matter for a Narcissist, if these attributes are superficial and not accurate indicators of a person’s real worth; he takes them seriously and continues believing in his supremacy. Muhammad wrote in the Qur’an,
Do not fear people, but fear Me. And, do not take a small price for My verses. Those who do not judge with what Allah has sent down are the unbelievers . (Q: 5.44).
This Path of Mine is straight. Follow it and do not follow other paths, for they will scatter you away from His Path. With such Allah charges you, in order that you be cautious . (Q: 6.153).
Narcissists always rate people around them. First they ask a simple question to themselves – can this or that person provide him with narcissistic supply? If the answer is yes, he is interested, and if the answer is no, the person simply does not exist. The Narcissist changes his color like a lizard. He may flatter, adore, adm
ire and applaud the “target” in an embarrassingly exaggerated and profuse manner in one moment; but at the very next moment he may abuse, and humiliate the same target in every possible way by violent displays of abuse, rage attacks, or cold detachment if the target fails to comply with his narcissistic requirements.
Muhammad fits perfectly into this profile. At the birth of Islam, Muhammad tried to formulate his religion in the style of Moses. He was much influenced by the rabbinic literature and borrowed extensively from the holy scriptures of Judaism. Wansbrough (cited Warraq, 2002, p. 24) argued that Islam emerged only when it came under the influence of rabbinic Judaism. Earlier scholars like Torrey also recognized that there were genuine borrowings from Jewish literature. Some present day critics of Islam have the same view, as Khan (2009, p. 42) mentioned that Muhammad was highly influenced by the learned Jews Rabbis, and some Jews used to tell him ancient history as recounted in the Torah. Even Muhammad agreed that the holy book of Jews can influence his Qur’an. Tabari wrote,
In this year, the Prophet commanded Zayd bin Thabit to study the Book of the Jews, saying, ‘I fear that they may change my Book. ’ (Tabari: VII.167)
When Muhammad relocated in Medina in 622, a large number of thriving, rich and influential Jews and Polytheistic tribes lived there. Economically these tribes were much stronger than the uncivilized Arabs. In the beginning, Muhammad continued praising the Jews and their faith. He intended to pass himself off as a Prophet of those wealthy Jews. For this; he flattered them, maintained good relations with them and adopted many Jewish customs; e.g., fasting of ashura (later changed to Ramadan), Zakat (contribution to charity), and prohibition on eating the pig meat. He also introduced ceremonial ablutions and purifications, established the Sabbath observance on Saturday (later changed to Friday), circumcision, etc (Khan, 2009, pp. 42-44). Also he called himself Nabi, the Jewish term for Prophet and even adopted Jerusalem as the Qibla for his prayers. Ibn Ishaq wrote,
In the pagan era the Jews were scripture folk and we were pagans. They used to say, ‘Soon a Prophet will be sent whom we shall follow.’ When Allah sent his Apostle from the Quraysh and we followed him they denied him . (Ishaq: 254)
Muhammad thought that by this way he would be able to convert those wealthy and influential people to his creed. Though some polytheistic tribes joined him in small numbers, the wealthy Jews paid little attention. Allah started revealing verses specially designed to lure them. Many verses confirmed the Jewish stories of Genesis (Q: 2.30-38), and Judaic stories of Moses and the children of Israel (Q: 2.240-61). Then Allah strongly urged the Jews and Christians (and the monotheistic Sabians) to believe in the Qur’an alongside following their own scriptures to gain Allah’s mercy (Q: 2.62; 22.17) and to accept Muhammad as their Prophet (Q: 5.19, 20). A logical minded reader will not fail to note that a Narcissist is desperately seeking attention from his potential victims.
Those who believe (in the Qur’an), those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Sabians and the Christians, - any who believe in Allah and the Last Day, and work righteousness, - on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve . (Q: 5.69)
People of the Book! After an interval during which there were no Messengers, Our Messenger (Muhammad) has come to clarify (your religion) to you, lest you should say: ‘No bearer of glad tidings or a warner has come to us. ‘Indeed, there has come to you a bearer of glad tidings and a warner. Allah has power over all things . (Q: 5.19).
(Remember) when Moses said to his people. ‘Remember, my people, the favors which Allah has bestowed upon you. He has raised up Prophets among you, made you kings, and given you that which He has not given to any one of the worlds . (Q: 5.20).
However, still the Jews did not pay him any attention. The malignant Narcissist was again in action and the following verses were revealed.
We gave to the Children of Israel the Book, judgment and prophethood. We provided them with good things and preferred them above the worlds (of their time). (Q: 45.16).
Then to Moses We gave the Book, complete for him who does good, and (to make) plain all things, and guidance, and mercy, so that they might believe in the ultimate meeting with their Lord . (Q: 6.154).
We have sent down the Torah in which there is guidance and light by which the submissive Prophets judged the Jews, as did the rabbis and those of their Lord, guarding what they were required to of the Book of Allah, and for which they were witness . (Q: 5.44).
Children of Israel, remember My favor which I bestowed upon you and that I preferred your (Prophets among you) above the worlds. (Q: 2.122).
Yet among the people of Moses there was a nation who preached the truth and acted justly . (Q: 7.159).
The problem with a Narcissist is that when he starts, he does not know where to stop. In the following ahadith Muhammad gave much superior status to Moses.
The Prophet said, ‘People will be struck unconscious on the Day of Resurrection and I will be the first to regain consciousness, and behold! There I will see Moses holding one of the pillars of Allah’s Throne. (Bukhari: 4.55.610)
The Prophet said, ‘Don’t give me superiority over Moses. On the day of Resurrection Moses will be standing and holding a side of Allah’s Throne’ . (Bukhari: 4.55.620).
All the nations were displayed in front of me [Muhammad], and I saw a large multitude of people covering the horizon. Somebody said, ‘This is Moses and his followers’. (Bukhari: 4.55.622).
Muhammad knew that if he could gain the influential Jews as his followers, he would be more powerful. Power for a malignant Narcissist is an affirmation of his superiority. It is also a means of controlling others to ensure narcissistic supplies – anything that can feed his fragile false ego. The more power he has, the more freely he can diminish others to keep his false self inflated (Hotchkiss, 2003, p. 14). This was the actual cause of Muhammad’s urge to get the Jews as his followers. Neither he was interested in the Jews nor he ever loved them. He only wanted to see that the image of a Prophet is being hurled back at him by the Jews. He wanted the Jews to reflect him, to confirm him, to admire him and to applaud him – in a word Muhammad wanted an assurance from the Jews that he exists as a Prophet. He simply wanted to see his reflection in the eyes of the Jews.
Still unsuccessful; Muhammad desperately took one step further in his pursuit of gaining the Jews in his creed. Now he claimed that he is the Messiah whose coming was foretold in the Torah. Allah declared,
And to those who shall follow the Messenger the Unlettered Prophet (Muhammad) whom they shall find written with them in the Torah and the Gospel… (Q: 7.157).
The worst part of lying is that the liar keeps on forgetting what he had told before. Therefore, to cover-up one lie, the imposter needs to tell several lies. If Muhammad’s coming was foretold in the Torah, then it also contradicted another revelation. According to Allah, the prophethood is bestowed upon the children of Israel only (Q: 45.16), and more specifically upon the family of Issac and Jacob (Q: 29.27). But Muhammad was an Arab, not an Israelite and his family-line leading up to Ishmael is different from those of Issac and Jacob. The Jewish Rabbis caught the liar red-handed on this point. Jews also rejected Muhammad’s claim that Qur’an was divine revelation because it was not revealed in sacred language, Hebrew or Syriac. For Jews, Arabic was a language of poets and drunkards. They pointed out many contradictions in Qur’an, like Allah wrongly accused Jews of saying that Ezra (Ozayr) was the son of God (Q: 9.30) (Khan, 2009, p. 44). They also pointed out multiple errors in Muhammad’s versions of the events of the Torah and called him ignorant of Jewish scriptures which his revelation claimed to affirm.
Jewish rabbis used to annoy the Apostle with questions, introducing confusion . (Ishaq: 239)
Julas the Jew used to say, ‘If Muhammad is right we are worse than donkeys . (Ishaq: 242)
I have heard that Julas the Jew used to make false professions of Islam . (Ishaq: 245)
These Hypocrites used to assemble in the mosque and listen to the stories of the Mus
lims and laugh and scoff at their religion . (Ishaq: 246)
In sum; the Jews completely rejected Islam calling the revelations as garbled, fallacious and at times unintelligible. At this moment a Narcissist argues this way – “My feeling and needs are all that matter and whatever I want I should get. If you cannot make yourself useful in meeting my need, you are of no value. If you defy my will, prepare to feel my wrath.” (Hotchkiss, 2003, p. 20). For Muhammad; mutuality and reciprocity were entirely alien concepts. The very existence of the Jews is only meaningful if they are ready to agree, obey, flatter and submit to Muhammad – in short to anticipate and meet every narcissistic need of Muhammad, as Vaknin (1999, p. 183) wrote, “ The Narcissist simply discards people when he becomes convinced that they can no longer provide him with narcissistic supply. This is an evaluation, subjective and highly emotionally charged. It does not have to be grounded on reality ”.
A Narcissist first overvalues the “targets” in order to gain their trust and if his ambition is not fulfilled, then he starts devaluing them (Vaknin, 1999, p. 73). When Muhammad could not do it by means of flattery, he would do it by means of cruelty. Allah’s tone and Muhammad’s gesture towards the Jews started changing. In narcissistic frustration, Muhammad put the following words in the mouth of Allah. Allah was clearly dissatisfied because the Jews had rejected Islam and now the Jews are subjected to the wrath from Allah.
You will please neither the Jews nor the Nazarenes unless you follow their creed. Say: ‘The guidance of Allah is the guidance. ‘And if after all the knowledge you have been given you yield to their desires, you shall not have, other than Allah, either a guide or a helper . (Q: 2.120).