by Kiki Leach
Christmastime above any other was always Vanessa's favorite time of year. Though she wasn't much a fan of the cold weather and snow, she loved the feeling of being around her family during a time in which they all managed to actually get along. And this year would be even more special.
In addition to her sister Felicia deciding to stick around with her children, it was only going to be a matter of time before everyone within their circle (and eventually the outside world) learned about her engagement to Maurice, and would soon welcome him into the family as an official member of it.
For years, he had been more like a son to Vanessa's mother, Alexis, as opposed to just one of her daughter's best friends since childhood. He was a man they could all count on for most things, mainly keeping Vanessa in line and in check when she was so prone to stepping out or over it. And he was the one and only person both Alexis and Alexander knew loved their daughter more than life itself, and would continue to love until his dying day no matter what was to ever come of their relationship. It took Vanessa far, far too long to realize that truth for herself, but once she finally did, she vowed to never let him or the unearthly feeling that built up inside her chest every time he came around go.
After finishing off her cocoa and rum and feeling somewhat lightheaded from the affects of alcohol on a stomach with very little food to soak it up, she placed the mug on the sill of the window and looked back at the clock in the living room. The long hand was seconds from hitting twelve, which meant that another hour was about to pass. She reached into the pocket of her robe for her phone, pushed a few buttons and found no missed calls or text messages.
Mo had told her not to worry and she promised that she wouldn't, which meant no contacting him to see if and when he found the perfect tree. She knew that he would find it and pictured exatly where it would go inside their home. She just wasn't sure at the rate of the snow falling if it or he would manage to get back in enough time to actually set it up and help decorate as he had promised.
When her phone began vibrating inside her hand, she jumped. Looking down at the number, she slightly rolled her eyes and debated on whether or not to actually answer. But she knew that if she didn't, her house phone would start ringing next, and she was already irritated as it was. The last thing she needed was both phones ringing off the hook at the exact same time.
She clicked the green button to answer and pressed the phone to her ear. And after taking a deep breath and turning her eyes up toward the ceiling, she opened her mouth and said, "Mother."
"My, my." Alexis sat back in her cozy leather recliner inside her Upper East Side living room and wrapped a wool blanket around herself. She tilted her head and pulled her lips back from the phone in a smirk. "I can't believe you actually managed to answer on the first ring, girl. You must've had that thing in your hand for once instead of laying face down in some other place around your house. I'm surprised the floors never managed to zap it up."
Vanessa sighed agitatedly and gripped the phone even tighter to keep from saying something off course. Now sure as hell wasn't a time to piss off her mother or get herself all worked up over what was essentially nothing. Not only was Christmas just a few weeks away, but she had promised herself that for the upcoming new year, she would learn to have more patience with those around her. No matter how often many of them were prone to driving her absolutely batty day in and day out for one reason or another.
"I have the phone on hand because I'm waiting for Mo to call me back to tell me that he's on his way," she finally said. "He and Alexander have been gone a hell of a lot longer than I expected they'd be just to get a damn tree." She rested her other hand against her forehead. Her skin had become hot and it wasn't because she had suddenly fallen ill. "Are you not worried about your husband? I can't imagine why else you would've called me tonight."
"I know for a fact that Alexander can take care of himself out there, even in weather like this. And Maurice will be fine with him, so no, I didn't call you for that reason."
Vanessa immediately grew suspicious and turned her eyes to the corner, glaring at the phone. "So... what do you want, then?"
"I want to hear more about this apparent 'dinner' that everyone seemed to know about but me. Alexander said it had been planned weeks ago, but you only told me about it on the fly this evening before racing out of the office like your fast behind was on fire."
"I would've told you about it when Mo and I originally planned it, but you were in Milan and weren't taking my calls unless they were magazine related."
"That's because I was there on business--"
"And that's why you didn't find out about the dinner until you got back today." Vanessa took in a breath as a way to help calm her growing nerves and let it out as slowly as she could. "It's just something that we wanted to do since it's our first official Christmas together as a couple inside this home. Besides, Alexander cooks every year and seemed exhausted over Thanksgiving, so I thought it might be a good idea to give him a break."
"Hm." Alexis sat back in disbelief and knit her brows. "If you're not planning for Alexander to cook the meal, are you having it catered?"
"No, everything's going to be homemade."
"Inside whose home?"
Vanessa frowned. "Mine, mother."
"And who'll be making this food?"
"Mo."
Alexis dipped her head back and sighed in relief. "Thank God for that. The last thing I need is to wind up with some kind of food poisoning from something you've decided to make yourself."
Vanessa pinched her mouth and puckered her brows. She knew she wasn't the best cook around, but she was a hell of a lot better in the kitchen than her mother had ever been when she was growing up and even now. Alexander being a chef is in part why she's certain their marriage has kept from spinning too far off its axis for the last ten years.
"Now that we have that all settled..." Alexis leaned forward in her chair and grabbed a chilled glass of red wine from her coffee table. She took a long sip and sank even further into her chair. "Is this a family only gathering or are you planning to invite the entire Upper West Side?"
"Alexander never mentioned who all was on the guest list?"
Alexis pulled the glass away from her lips and frowned. "No," she drawled. "When I asked, he avoided the question like the damn plague and now you're answering a question with a question which clearly means I'm not going to like who the hell shows up." She slammed the glass back on the table and tucked a hand beneath her arm. "Who all is coming for this dinner, girl?"
Vanessa peeked out the window again. This would've been the perfect time for Maurice to come back home and save her from the eventual wrath of her mother. "I'm not even sure why who shows up matters to you, really. It's my house, my guests--"
"Who's. Invited?" she snapped back.
Vanessa headed off into the living room and grabbed a tiny bottle of vodka, downing it as quickly as she could before taking a seat on her couch. Telling her mother who was on that list was going to take a hell of a lot more than a single cup of rum, because from the first name to the last, she knew that the response was going to be just as ugly as the weather was getting outside.
She pulled her legs up and tucked them beneath herself while waiting as the harsh sounds of Alexis' intensified breathing began to lessen.
"I don't want you to start flipping out," she said.
"Heavenly Father." Alexis exhaled and shut her eyes tight to keep from rolling them around inside her head. "What?"
"Well, Sheila is going to be here, but I didn't outright invite her. She sort of invited herself."
"Good God, girl!" she screeched. Vanessa pulled the phone back from her ear, pushed the speaker button and sat it down on the table. The last thing she needed was Alexis' piercing voice bursting an ear drumb. "I knew once that girl managed to get her claws back into you, she'd never leave you alone again. How in the hell did you let this happen?"
"I didn't let anything happen. Not intentionally...
not at first. She came by my office a few days ago trying to shove lunch at me when I was busy talking to Mo on the phone about the tree. She overheard what we were doing and threw a bunch of crap at me about Veronica spending the holiday in the Bahamas while the former senator was spending it with his secretary in Belize. And something about Adrian having to go out of town since he spent Thanksgiving here, but not necessarily with her. I felt bad when she started crying and looking at me like a wounded dog and... You know, tis the season and all that crap."
"Well, how very throughtful of you, Vanessa, my God. You've always been more of a friend to that nasty, trashy, thirsty girl than she's ever been to you. And for some reason, this time of year always seems to bring out your best side for those who least deserve it."
She looked aside and arched a brow. "Thanks, I think."
"What the hell is exactly going on with her and Adrian? She went out of her way to snatch up yet another one of your former beau's and couldn't manage to keep this one locked down either? Must be something rotten she's been serving up--"
"Mother." Vanessa cringed and sank down in her couch. "I don't know what's going on with them. Quite frankly, I don't really care all that much, but the whole thing is just strange as hell."
"She's strange as hell, always has been."
Vanessa held back a laugh. "That's not what I mean. She made such a big deal about him being so great and what the hell ever else, and yet, I haven't seen them out together since the night William humiliated the hell out of Nikki at that bar following her Broadway debut. As a matter of fact, a few days after that mess is when she started coming around a lot more and asking me questions about him that I had no desire in answering."
"Questions like what?"
"Like the balance within our relationship and whatever other nonsense. I told her we had none which was part of the problem of why it didn't work and never would."
"Considering she's always been a doormat, that kind of relationship should've been fine with her."
"I think there's a hell of a lot more going on there than that. But I'm not really interested in finding out what it is and hope to hell she doesn't bring it up at the dinner--"
"Thank God for small favors and that he won't be showing up there with her. But who else is?"
"Nik will be here."
Alexis groaned heavily and momentarily shut her eyes. "I'm guessing after a few months, she's finally crawled out of her hole of humiliation at the Waldorf?"
"She's still staying there most of the time with Oscar, but for the most part, she's out of her funk. And has in fact gotten a few more job offers from some well known producers since that night--"
"I can only imagine what kind of jobs she'll be performing for them over time."
"Mother!"
"Girl, I've said it once and I'll say it again, you have the worst pool of friendship I think I have ever seen. One's desperate to be the 'around the way girl' to every man she comes across who happens to think she's pretty. And the other is a heartless thot who's bound to continue making coins while spending more time on her back than standing upright."
Vanessa picked up the phone and bent her face down toward the speaker. "Are you drunk?"
"I've only had a few sips of wine."
"Out of how many glasses and from how many different bottles?"
"Don't get sass with me, Miss Thing."
"I'm not," she snapped. "Look, I don't want this dinner to cause any problems. I know you don't like Sheila or Nik, but--"
"Is William coming?"
Vanessa scoffed and sat back. "Of course not. He's supposedly spending time in Connecticut with his daughter and even if he weren't, there's no way in hell I'd invite him here to begin with. Not after that bullshit stunt he pulled."
"Hm. Maybe she deserved a little somethin' of what she got," Alexis mumbled. Vanessa bit down hard on her tongue to keep from snapping back at her with something she knew she'd later regret. "What about her very married sidepiece, Oscar?"
"Sidepiece? You're drunk." Vanessa sighed and shook her head. "But I didn't invite him for obvious reasons, and I asked her not to invite him either. She said he was spending Christmas with Melanie and the girls anyway, so--"
"Her married lover is choosing to spend Christmas with his wife and children instead of her?" She smirked and reached for her glass. "How expected."
"Not necessarily," said Vanessa. "When you and Terrence split, he sure as hell didn't stick around for one last Christmas with me and Felicia. I can't stand Oscar, but at least he's trying for his kids which is more than I can say for the man who left us all high and dry over ten years ago."
Alexis gulped and tightened her fingers around the glass. "More than I can say too." She lowered her head and exhaled. "But we're beyond those times now, and beyond that sorry excuse for a man, thank God. One can only hope that his current holidays are as miserable in that Congo as he made me right before skipping out." She drank back the rest of her wine and reached for the bottle to pour herself another glass.
Vanessa sat back and thought for a moment. There was a question sitting on the tip of her tongue that she knew in asking would surely piss off her mother. But she also knew if she didn't, she would always be left to wonder the truth. And she had certainly done enough of that this year.
"Do you ever think about him?" she said. "I mean, before he made you so miserable?"
Alexis sat on Vanessa's question before attempting to answer as honestly as she could. "I try my best to keep from ever thinking about that man but it's not to say that memories of him and us don't pop into my mind from time to time." She swirled the wine around inside her glass and peered. "Why?"
"Nothing, it's just..." Vanessa paused and sucked in a shaky breath. "Ever since Adrian got back to town, the one question I've always wanted to ask him is if he ever happened to come across Terrence while he was doing that missionary work in the Congo. I mean, it's possible that he did at some point, right?"
"It's possible, Vanessa, just like anything else in this world," Alexis responded cautiously. "But my question to you is, what if he told you that he had?"
"I don't know." She shut her eyes and pressed her fingers against the center of her forehead as her stomach began to twist itself in knots. "I don't know -- I guess I've just never asked because I've always been too afraid of the answer. If he did, would Terrence have asked about me? If he didn't, would my own father have mentioned even having kids?"
Alexis sighed. "Vanessa--"
"I know, I know." She waved a hand across her face and leaned back. "I shouldn't even bother wondering about any of it now because there's really no point. But I think there's still always going to be a part of me that feels abandoned by him no matter what. Don't get me wrong, Alexander has been a better father to me than I think that man ever could, but it still doesn't lessen that feeling of not being wanted by someone who's supposed to love you. It's part of the reason why I was so angry for so long about Nathan."
"But you've got Maurice now to show you what true love is and how it should always be, baby. Just like I have Alexander."
"And I'm grateful for Mo, I am. I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life and much of it has to do with him. Still doesn't put a cap on the underlying issues I've always had that could easily be solved with just a few answers."
Alexis became pensive and nodded her head. "And I wish I had them for you, Vanessa. I really, truly do."
"Me too."
When the doorbell rang, Vanessa put her mother on hold and placed the phone back down on the coffee table. As she got up from the couch and strolled back into the foyer, she peeked out the window and grinned from ear to ear the very second she caught a glimpse of Maurice's strained face.
"They're finally back!" she hollered into the living room.
Silently, Alexis thanked God and said a small prayer. She was confident that her husband would keep them both safe, but she also knew better than anyone that you could never be too safe anymore about any
thing, or too sorry.
Vanessa quickly unlocked the door and with the help of the strong winds, it flew wide open. Maurice hauled in first, holding the middle of the tree while Alexander kept a tight grip around the base of it. They headed off to the living room and after deciding to move a few things around to help it fit, placed it on a base just a few feet away from the fireplace and unraveled the rope keeping the branches together.
"Looks like we actually got the right size," said Alexander.
"I tried to measure the room as best as I could last week. You know V would've killed me if I got one that she couldn't reach without my help." He laughed.
"Yeah," he mumbled. "She's just like her mother in that respect."
"I heard that," Vanessa said as she blew into the room.
"Apologies, baby girl." Alexander said with a smile as he removed his gloves, hat and coat, and draped them across the back of the couch. He opened his arms wide and stared down at her, smiling. "How does it look?"
"Perfect." She stood back and folded her arms while visually measuring the tree from top to bottom. "But it looks a hell of a lot bigger than last year's."
"But bigger's always better, right?" asked Maurice with a wink.
Vanessa looked up at him and bobbed her head. "Yeah, but in this case I just hope that I can reach the top of it even with the use of a ladder."
"Well if you've got issues with this thing, Mo picked it out," replied Alexander, pointing. "Took fifteen lots until he finally said he found the right one." Maurice made a face and rested his hands on his hips. Alexander chuckled. "Listen, before I head back out there, I was hoping to make another cup of coffee to help keep me alert."
"You're in luck because we just bought some more yesterday," Vanessa told him. "And while you're in there, you might want to take this with you." She picked up the phone from the couch and handed it over to him. "Your wife called under the pretense of not being worried about you--"