They had protected sex for the first four months, and then he told her he couldn't have children and wanted raw, condom less, sex. She believed him because she loved and trusted him, and guess what? She got pregnant. So now she had another guy telling her he did not want to be a father, and this one telling her it couldn't be his because he couldn't have children, but to his credit, at least he was there for the delivery. When he saw that the baby looked just like him and his family confirmed it, he stuck around. They maintained separate residences, but he spent most of his free time with them.
Everything was okay until the baby was two and a half, and they noticed something wasn't quite right with their son. He was taken to many specialists and was ultimately diagnosed with Autism. She was terrified when she first learned this, but she researched it because the only thing she could relate Autism to was the “Rain Man” movie with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise. She thought it was something she caused during her pregnancy, even though she felt that she did everything the right way. Ted's new story was that there was no way he could have a child that was ‘handicapped’, as he called it, and even though he looked just like him, he broke off their relationship, and transferred to a different office. He stopped calling and never answered the phone when she would call him, and he eventually changed his number. Elaine was devastated, but let him go without a fight because she was a good mom and didn't have time to spend trying to make him be a good dad. His family and friends were very disappointed in Ted, but they remained a constant presence in their child's life.
On this particular day, she started to get up, but laid back down because her head was pounding from the hangover she had. The previous night, she had a date with a guy she had met on LuverConnec, an internet dating site designed for people of color. She got on the site to try a different way to meet nice guys, because the dating scene in her area was very limited. Elaine was not one to hang out in clubs, and there were not too many places to find eligible men.
They had conversed on the phone and through texts Facebook, and emails for about two months, so she felt comfortable meeting him somewhere in a public place. He met her at Benihanas, a teppanyaki restaurant, located in Farmington Hills, Michigan, for dinner and ordered champagne for them to drink. They consumed a couple of bottles of bubbly.
She thought about him, Jacob was his name, and he was a banker. All night long, all he did was talk about himself, then her body, and then himself again. She drank as a means to muffle out his boring and lame conversation. He was forty-two years old and dressed like he was seventy. He wasn't a bad looking guy—she had sworn off pretty boys—but his conversation was better on the phone and in his texts than it was in person. He told her to tell the "other guys" she was off the market, because he was going to make her his “wifey.” This was after being with her for only a couple of hours! He also told her he wanted to take her to the Bahamas soon and tried very hard to convince her to come over to his place for the night.
"Don't you think it’s a little too soon to be asking me to go to the Bahamas or to your place? You don't even know me! she said, "and I don't go to a man's house on the first date, or even the second date. I like to get to know a person before I go to their home or for them to come to mine."
That didn't stop him from trying.
“Tell you what," she said. If you can tell me my middle name or my favorite color, I will go home with you.”
He looked at her and laughed. “You know I don't know that stuff. Besides, I'm not going to do anything to you ... at least anything that you wouldn't want me to do," he said with a chuckle that was really starting to irritate her.
I think I'm going to throw up in my mouth, she said to herself. She got up from the table and gave him a hug, told him to call her tomorrow, and to thank him for the date. He reluctantly let her out of the embrace and tried to kiss her, but she quickly moved her head and his lips caught her hair.
"I don't kiss on the first date either. I hope you can respect that." He came back with, "what are you, twelve? I thought we were grown! Wow!"
Wow? thought Elaine. She told him “bye” and went out to her car. As she sat down, she started shaking her head. What is wrong with men these days?
She had thought about getting off the dating site, but there was another guy on there that caught her attention. His name was Mario. His profile stated that he had a job that required him to travel a lot. He was 6-foot-tall, never married, no kids, but open to a person that has children, and looking for a serious relationship. He had a friendly face, and was nice looking, so she hit him back with the reply, "I like your profile." Forty minutes later he replied, "I'm so glad that you do. Would you like to meet me for dinner sometime?" She thought about it, concluded that all men couldn't be like the last one, and then replied, "Why not?" They made plans to meet at Starters, a sports bar and restaurant in Detroit on Woodward Avenue.
When she first saw him, she was pleasantly surprised at his appearance, so glad he looked even better than his pictures, and he seemed to be pleased with hers. They had great conversations, he had a wonderful sense of humor, and he was the ultimate gentleman. When the date was over, he walked her to her car, gave her a hug and they made plans to see each other the next day. He asked her if she would like to go to a comedy show and dinner. She said yes, so they met at Bakers Keyboard Lounge, a very quaint but well-established lounge in Detroit on a Monday, where a very funny comedian named Coolaide was the host, hilarious Mike Bonner was the headliner of the show, and several other comedians were showcased. They had great laughs and a good dinner, consisting of fried catfish, candied yams, cornbread, and collard greens. They met up a couple more times after this date whenever he was available, and she was really starting to think that he could be a keeper.
Vanessa
Vanessa's incoming message alert sounded. She pressed the message box and saw that it was from Greg. She read, "Hey babe. How was your day?" She smiled. It was so nice having a man ask how your day was ... just the little things.
She texted back, "Great. How about you?"
Greg: "Mine was good too. It would be even better if I could see you."
Vanessa: "Awww, well, it's kind of late now, maybe tomorrow?"
Greg: "Tomorrow is not good for me. But what are you doing Sunday?"
Vanessa: "Nothing but church."
Greg: "Well, how would you like to go to a concert with me?"
Vanessa: "Sure ... who are we going to see?"
Greg: "Big Sean."
She thought, Big Sean. Isn't that rap? and texted back. "Ok. Great."
Greg: "Get some sleep and I will ttyl."
"Ok. Good night," she typed.
She turned off the light and held her pillow. Oh Lord. I'm gonna have to Google this—Big Shawn, was it? —and see what kind of songs he has ... hope it’s something I've heard of before. And what in the hell am I going to wear to a rap concert?
The next day while she was at work, she called Julie.
"Greg called me last night and he wants me to go to a rap concert with him."
Julie laughed, "With all those kids that's going to be there, you can be the chaperone and go to Chuckie Cheese after. Who are you going to see?"
"Some guy named Biggie Shawn or something."
"Girl, you mean Big Sean? I saw him on Arsenio before. He's from Detroit and not a bad rapper. You know I'm not into that rap stuff, unless it’s the Sugarhill Gang, that fine LL Cool J, the Fresh Prince, or even Tu Pac, but I like him. I love that he always talks about and reps Detroit."
"I feel like I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb," said Vanessa.
"Girl, you look better than most of them hoochie mamas that's gonna be there anyway."
"I can't even compete with them young, tight bodied, girls," said Vanessa.
"Well, when you go out with a guy that's young, you gotta be able to hang. It's not even about competing. Just go have a good time. At least he's asking you out and he obviously don't care about your age. Just enjoy
... and take some earplugs and hope he don't come pick you up with his pants sagging and drawers showing." They both laughed.
"Bye," Vanessa said, "I'm not trying to talk to you anymore,” but as she hung up she had a vision: Greg showing up with his pants sagging. She shook it off. Naw ... he hasn't dressed that way ... yet. Sigh.
The night of the concert came. They decided to meet at a restaurant in Waterford, Michigan, the Overtyme Sports Bar, to get something to eat because the concert was at DTE Energy Music Theatre in Clarkston, a few miles away. She loved going to the DTE for concerts, because it was an outdoor venue where you can purchase seats under a dome, or sit on the lawn, which is a big, grassy hill and you can bring in snacks.
After they ate, they got into his SUV and headed to the concert.
Once they arrived, she observed the sea of young people. Young girls with their boobs and butts out. Young guys sagging with their baseball caps and tennis shoes, and some who were dressed in what she considered respectable attire. She felt kind of matronly even though she had on jeans and a classy form-fitting top, and a pair of riding boots. She was checking out Greg and was impressed with his choice of clothing ... and right at that moment he grabbed her by her waist and said, "By the way, you look great. Kind of wish I was a pair of jeans ‘cause you wearing the hell out of those. No disrespect."
"Thank you. No disrespect taken. You're looking mighty handsome yourself," and he did. He wore some True Religion jeans (with a belt ... not sagging!), with some Timberland boots, and a Black Lives Matter t-shirt. She still felt self-conscious and kept questioning herself as to why she was there with him at this concert, even though he was very attentive to her.
They were led to their seats—first row center VIP seats. "Wow," she said. "This is impressive," until she looked at the huge speakers and thought, am I going to be able to hear when I leave here? Maybe I should've brought some earplugs!
He saw her looking at the speakers and told her "you will be fine. I got you babe," and kissed her on her cheek.
She smiled at him, but thought, you got me, but do you have my eardrums?'
The concert turned out to be really good. She was pleasantly surprised that she enjoyed it so much. During the show, while they were on stage, two of the performers named Rospit and Lucky D, both from Pontiac, came over to where she and Greg were sitting and gave Greg some dap (fist bumps), but they were doing that to a lot of people, so she didn't think anything of it. When it was over, Greg grabbed her hand and went up to the stage.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"Backstage," he replied.
"Really? How can we do that?"
"I met Sean and Ro some years back. Sean use to live next door to my cousin who lives in Detroit back when he was just Sean and not Big Sean. We still kept in touch even after he became a member of the Finally Famous group. He and my cousin are still tight and I’ve always been a fan and friend of his, so we've always kept in touch. Now I met Ro at his shoe store, Burn Rubber, in Royal Oak. Have you heard of it?"
"Yes, I have. I've never been there but my friend Julie has," she answered.
“It’s a great store and my dude has all the latest kicks and some of the most original shoes at this store. It's a hot spot. I will have to take you there one day. Eminem even did a reality show about it. Come on. Let's go say hi."
He took her backstage where everybody made her feel welcome.
The next day she called Julie.
"Well, how did your date go?" asked Julie.
"At first I thought I had made a big mistake. I felt like I was taking my child to a concert, but he never made me feel like that. There were so many half naked, beautiful girls there and I knew I couldn't compete, but he made me feel really good and comfortable. Then we get in the concert, and we kept walking closer and closer to the stage, all the way to the front row!"
"Impressive! Girl, Big Sean is no joke! Those tickets must’ve cost a mint!" replied Julie.
"I know, right? Then after the show, he takes me back stage. Back stage, girl! I have never been backstage at DTE. It was so cool and everybody was so nice."
"Sounds like you had a good time. Can't wait to meet him."
"Yeah. I really need you and the girls to meet him so I can get your opinion. I'm kind of wary about Sabra meeting him though, you know she is always so critical."
"She can't say shit. She's dating a married man," said Julie.
"True ... so ... changing the subject, how is it going with the guy you've been seeing?"
"Jerry? He travels so much and I've been out with him a few times, but he's okay. I kind of like him. He has been trying to get to my house but it's still too soon and you know I don't play that."
"That I do," said Vanessa. Well, let's plan to get together with the guys soon and we can size both of them up."
"Cool. Let's see if they are available to go to dinner this Sunday at the Motor City casino. You know I've got those comp credits," said Julie.
"That's great, but we are saving those for girl's night. If they are real men, then they will be paying, am I right?”
"Yes you are. The plan sounds good. Let's make it happen.”
Lillian
Lillian considered herself a black girl trapped in a white body. Her mother was white and her father was black, but she had predominately white features. She was a very exotic beauty, with jet black, long straight hair, and at 5'10, 130 lbs., she could have easily been a model, but she never acted like she was all that. Almost all of her friends were black because she grew up in a black neighborhood and went to all black schools. Growing up, she had to fight a lot because of her fair skin and looks that caused jealousy from other girls, and because she was so pretty, all the boys were infatuated with her. With the help of her brothers, she turned out to be a pretty good fighter. She had to face the prejudices[j1] that minorities of any race are faced with, and over time, earned acceptance by not backing down and letting everyone know she could hold her on.
Lillian received her MBA from Michigan State University. She lived in Yakeley-Gilchrist dorm, which was one of the older dorms on the campus, in an area called the Virgin Islands, because back when she was there, it was an all-girls dorm where there were several in the area.
She was taken on a college tour to State when she was in high school, and fell in love with the huge, beautiful campus, with its wondrous landscaping, cute guys, and off the chart party atmosphere. Julie and Yvette lived in her dorm, and were there a year before she got there. Julie and Yvette were sophomores and took their friend under their wings. They went and did everything together.
Lillian never married and never had any kids. She was unable to have kids due to complications of fibroids and from having to have a hysterectomy at a young age. She used this as one of the reasons she never married, thinking no one would want her if she couldn’t have children. The other being the noncommittal guys she seemed to attract in addition to other heartbreaks she experienced in her lifetime. So instead of focusing on getting married, she plunged her efforts into her career.
Lillian was pretty much a loner when it came to relationships in her younger years. In high school, she had many admirers and she did have a boyfriend that she really liked, until he cheated on her with someone she thought was her best friend. And then there was the event that changed her life forever.
When Lillian was a freshman at college, she attended a frat party with a couple of her dorm associates. She was never a drinker, but consumed a lot of alcohol that night and started feeling ill. She was to be taken back to her dorm by a guy, Allen, whom she thought was a good friend.
When they were about to go to her dorm, Allen, who had also been drinking, suggested, "My place is right around the corner. Why don't you come over there and sleep it off, and go back to your dorm when you feel better," he said. “I’m all partied out too.”
Her friends weren't ready to go, and they told her she would be okay, because they all knew Allen to be a good guy and friend.
Her head was spinning and she felt like she was going to faint, and since her friends gave her the thumbs up, she went with him.
She vaguely remembered any details after that, and all she could recall was that she woke up without any clothes on, and Allen was in the bed next to her, snoring. She looked around for her clothes and saw a used condom wrapper on the floor.
She shook him. "Allen. ALLEN! Wake up!"
He slowly opened his eyes tried to regain his senses. When he saw her, he smiled.
"Hey baby, what's up?"
"What happened here? Where are my clothes?" she shouted.
"Calm down baby! They are over there in that chair," he pointed. You don't remember what happened last night? The way you were moaning and groaning, you sounded like you were having a good time."
He explained that when they got back to his apartment, he led her to the bed and he asked if she wanted to take her clothes off. "You just laid down. Because I was high too, I laid down with you and at some point, we started making out and I asked you if you wanted to have sex. You said yes. I asked if you were sure, and you just smiled. It was really good and tight, but I just wished you would've told me you were on your period."
Why CAN T I Be A Cougar?? Page 5