"I know, but it was hot in here. Or, should I say, I carried the heat with me from the bedroom to the kitchen!" he laughed.
"You are to much.”
‘I have something to tell you,” he said continuing to putter at the stove.
“What.”
“I’ll tell you during dinner.”
"Kurt, quit teasing!"
He grinned and crossed the kitchen, pulling her into the circle of his arms. "I made reservations for us to go skiing in Vail for Valentine's Day. The bridal suite at the Sonnenalp Resort.”
He picked her up and twirled her around.
"What made you decide that?"
"I originally planned to do it for our wedding anniversary, but April seemed so far away, so . . . .Valentine's Day, hearts, flowers, cupid, and all that muck.”
"Oh, Kurt, you really are a romantic." She kissed him as he lowered her feet to the ground. "I'm so happy you found me. I love you more than life itself."
Kurt leaned forward to whisper in her ear, his movement sensuous. Andrea snuggled eagerly against him, expecting to hear something provocative.
"Could we please have dinner now? I'm starving." She gave him a playful slap on the bottom and laughed. She took him by the hand and led him to the dining room table. "Sit down, Sir. I'll take over from here." Andrea leaned over and kissed his neck, face, ears, and throat. "Be back in a minute.”
Kurt looked at Andrea from across the table. “I can’t stop looking at you. You’re radiant. This is just as I always knew it would be: afternoon lovemaking; a playful love tap; smiles from across the table; dinner by candlelight. I love you. Truly in love with you.
Andrea’s eyes brimmed with tears.
"Don’t cry my love. I was just thinking how wonderful it's going to be to spend the rest of our Christmases together."
This was the perfect opportunity to tell him about our baby but a sixth sense warned her against sharing the news at this moment. Nonetheless, throughout dinner her thoughts strayed to the baby growing within her, to their growing family, and to a growing future. As they did the dishes, it took all the self-control she could gather to keep the wonderful news from him. If she watched her weight and wore the new styles with the tunic tops and slim slacks, Kurt wouldn't notice for awhile. She'd tell him when the time was right, but not now.
Although Kurt had said he wanted to wait a couple of years, Andrea was sure he'd eventually share her excitement and her happiness. She just needed to find the right way and time to tell him. She smiled. Valentine's Day in Vail would be perfect. I know I'll welcome the commitment a child will bring. Now, I only pray Kurt will feel the same.
"What are you thinking? You're smiling one minute and frowning the next."
"I'm thinking how happy I am."
The next morning she tried to hide her morning sickness from Kurt. "Honey, you never told me what Doctor Mitchell said."
"It's the flu bug, just like I said," she lied.
"I want you to see a specialist if the symptoms persist. Promise me."
"I will," she said as she pulled her head up from the commode. "Morning sickness," she whispered. "Eek." Andrea walked out of the bathroom and over to her bed. She sat on the edge and willed herself not to crawl back in. She couldn't understand how Kurt could miss the signs of her pregnancy.
"Honey, do you want coffee?" he yelled from downstairs.
"I'll be right down." She put on a jogging outfit and trotted down the steps."
"God, honey, you look awful."
"I'll be fine in a minute. I think I'll have tea instead of coffee."
"No problem. Lemon?" She nodded. "Oh, by the way, I forgot to give this to you." He handed her an engraved invitation. "We're invited to a black‑tie dinner party on New Years Eve. I think it'll be fun. It will also give me a chance to show you off to my colleagues." He smiled and put his arms around her. "Would you like to go?"
"Yes, I want to go. I could wear the dress I had made from the silk I purchased in Istanbul."
"I don't know if I want you to wear that. You look too sexy in it."
"Oh, Kurt you're so sweet.” I wonder if he'll think I'm still sexy in another three months, when my stomach looks like I swallowed a watermelon and my feet are as swollen as pig’s hooves, she thought.
Andrea planned the holiday festivities like a composer charts his score. She and Emily were to share the holiday dinners, and they'd planned to host a Christmas party together. Andrea's high energy dwindled a little, but she blamed it on the busy holidays.
Emily noticed her fatigue. "You look tired, Andrea. You need to slow down or you'll get a relapse of the flu. Maybe you need more vitamins," she said, concerned.
“I'll be fine. The four of us have been non-stop party animals for the last two weeks," Andrea joked.
On Christmas Eve, after a family dinner, Andrea and Kurt had an open house for all their friends. During the course of the evening, Mr. and Mrs. Santa arrived to surprise their guests and hand out presents. The ground cover of snow and feathering flakes made the evening enchanting, and the group went from house to house singing Christmas Carols.
Once they returned home, Andrea said, "I wonder if we'll be able to continue this after we have children," Andrea said, placing the last dish in the dishwasher.
"We have a lot of Christmases before we think of that," Kurt said.
"One never knows what's in the future," she said, trying to get Kurt to think more about children.
He took her hand and led her to the stairs. "Come on," he smiled.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
As soon as she walked into Dr. Kalic's office, Andrea knew the doctor was surprised by Kurt's absence.
"Where's your husband? I thought he'd be with you on this visit. I want to meet him."
"He had to go out of town. He sends his apologies, but promised to come with me next month."
"Andrea, is something wrong?"
She stared at the doctor's earrings, not wanting to look directly into her eyes. She fiddled with her purse, embarrassed to tell her the reason Kurt hadn't come with her.
"Do you want to talk a few minutes before I do the examination?" Dr. Kalic asked, concerned.
Tears formed in her eyes. "Oh, Dr. Kalic, I don't know what to do. I still haven't told Kurt we're expecting."
"You what!" she said, shocked.
Andrea nodded her head. "Kurt . . . ." She paused and wiped away the tears. "Kurt wanted to wait a few years before we had children. I tried to tell him during the holidays, but I was afraid to spoil the festive mood."
"Is that the reason you look so thin? Are you trying to keep your weight down so he doesn't notice?" she said, worry written on her face.
"No, no. I would never do that. I've been eating properly and taking my vitamins. This baby means more to me than anything," she said, protectively rubbing her stomach.
"Would it help if I talked to Kurt?"
"No. No. Please. I need to do it myself."
"Good, because I plan to do an ultra sound the next time you come. Do you want to know the sex of the baby?
"I already know," she said confidently.
"That's impossible," she said, grinning at Andrea.
"I know it's a boy," she said with confidence. "Call it a mother's intuition."
Dr. Kalic walked over to her and took her hand. "Come on, let's get you weighed in." She examined her chart. "Hmm," she said. "You've haven’t gained an ounce this month. You need to do better the next time. Promise."
"Yes, I promise," she smiled, feeling better.
"Are you still exercising?"
"Yes. It seems to help with the morning sickness."
"That should be subsiding by now. Everything seems to be in order. You can get dressed and I'll meet you in my office." She looked at Andrea. "It's good to see that wonderful smile of yours," and closed the door behind her.
Andrea dressed quickly and knocked on the Doctor’s office door.
"Come in." She motioned for Andrea to sit.
"As I said before, everything is fine. Keep doing what you've been doing. But don't you push yourself. We want a healthy baby." Dr. Kalic shuffled the papers on her desk and cleared her throat. "Andrea, you need to tell your husband. If you don't, I will," she said..
Andrea nodded her head. "Kurt made plans to go skiing in Vail for Valentine's Day, and I'll tell him then. I can go skiing, can't I?"
"There's no problem with that. Just don't get too tired. Listen to your body."
"Doctor, I'm positive when Kurt hears this wonderful news he'll be pleased," Andrea said, and smiled. "Um, one more thing." She blushed and turned away.
"Yes, you can have sex. Up until the day you deliver, if you want to."
"How did you know the question?"
"Your face turned crimson, just like every other woman whose about to ask that same question."
Andrea couldn't control her laughter. "Really. Are we that predictable?"
Dr. Kalic nodded. "Your laughter sounds wonderful. You need to laugh a lot during your pregnancy. Your son would love to hear it."
She left the office in a state of jubilation. She knew she had to tell Kurt soon. They would be leaving February tenth. "Yes," she patted her stomach. "I'll tell your Daddy then."
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Everything at the hotel was the same as it had been when they were last here. The only difference now was that they shared a room. Kurt had reserved a suite overlooking the slopes. It had everything they could possibly need. This was their second day, and she still hadn’t told him about the baby.
The sun filtered into the room as she rolled over, kicking the blankets from her body. Her skin tingled as she remembered their night of lovemaking. She touched her nipples, raw from his kisses. Her hand automatically touched her belly, and patted it gently.
She heard his breathing before she saw him. Kurt sat in a club chair, his robe carelessly flung around him, watching her every move. His eyes crept up her long legs, across her stomach, and rested on her two rigid extrusive peaks, which heaved with the rapid rhythm of her breathing.
He walked over to the bed and lay beside her. She groaned as he bent and moistened each nipple with his tongue. His hands roamed her body, resting on her stomach. His fingers danced across her stomach like a feather dancing in the wind. He bent and kissed her, as his fingers worked on her nipples. He stood to pull off his robe. His manhood pulsed in anticipation.
She opened her arms to him and he entered them. Her mouth and lips burned from his fierce desire for her. She caressed his back and his buttocks, and pulled him in closer to her. She could not get him close enough.
He pulled away from her and stared into her deep brown eyes, sensing something wrong.
She again pulled him closer. "Kurt, I want you now," she said hoarsely, as her lips covered his neck and shoulders with kisses and her tongue tasted and caressed his skin.
"I love you," he said thickly as his body entered hers. He responded to the arch of her hips to meet his. To her hands that pulled his buttocks to her. Nothing mattered but the moment.
Neither expected the force of their climaxes, which knocked into them simultaneously.
Gratification and fervor encompassed their bodies as they lay, only hands touching.
She rolled onto her side, to look at him. "Darling, we need to talk," she said with determination.
"You look solemn."
She nodded in acknowledgement.
He ran his hand across her stomach and smiled. "You've gained a few pounds since the holidays, haven't you?" he said trying to lighten the mood.
"Is that why you were staring at me before?"
"Not really, but I did notice it. A few pounds are becoming on you." He laughed and caressed her breasts. "These are even more becoming." He smiled as he bent and kissed them, enjoying the added fullness.
"Kurt. Stop. Please. I need to tell you something."
"Okay, tell me, but must I stop?" he asked, as he continued to stroke her stomach and breasts.
She reached down and placed her hand over his as it stroked her stomach. She looked into his deep blue eyes and whispered, "We're going to have a baby."
He stiffened as if he had been punched in the stomach. "What!" he exploded. His hand quickly left her body, as if her body was a hot burner.
Tears filled her eyes when she saw him flinch. His eyes turned as cold as the icicles hanging from the eaves of the hotel.
"What? When...?” He ran his fingers through his hair. “When in the hell did you find out?" he asked, his voice seething.
She hesitated. "The day you put up our Christmas tree."
"And you waited until now to tell me?"
"I know I should have told you sooner, but the time never seemed just right."
"But you think now is the right time? Did you think your body could intoxicate me enough to accept anything you told me?"
Andrea turned away, not wanting to see the disgust emanating from his eyes.
“Damn it, look at me." He grabbed her chin roughly and pulled her head around to face him. "I said, don't turn away. Why in God's name did you tell me now? Why now?"
“Would any time be good?
“You betrayed me. Lied to me. How could you have let this happen? I thought you were on the pill?"
"Don't be angry with me, that's unjust," she said. "I did take it for awhile, but Doctor Mitchell suggested I stop because I had severe side effects. That's why I asked you to use protection. Remember?"
"Christ, Andrea," he said, the curse quiet but vicious. Exasperated he ran a hand through his hair.
"Kurt?" She looked at him and saw a stranger. She never dreamed she'd see such hostility in him. This person wasn't the person she'd lived with for almost a year. Who was this horrible person? If this was his reaction, she could never let their child grow up in such a hostile environment.
When Andrea tried to touch him, he waved her off.
"Don't . . . don't touch me."
"Darling."
He looked at her in disbelief. The calm was replaced by rage and frustration. "Don't 'darling' me, Andrea. You don't need to use your persuasive ways any more. You've gotten what you wanted. Tell me, is this the reason you married me” To get pregnant? Because if it is, why in God's name didn't you get pregnant with Jason?" he spat the words out at her.
"What has Jason got to do with this?"
"Well, lover boy must be longing for you. Didn't he send you a personal Christmas card? How many times has he written to you since we've been married? How many times did you see him when you went into the city to see Arthur?"
"How dare you insinuate something between me and Jason? We're good friends, that's it. I thought you were okay with the correspondence between us. You've read every letter he's written. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is you're pregnant. Is it mine?"
She winced as if her flesh had been stripped from her body. "I didn't plan for this to happen. In fact, it most likely happened the day you raped me."
"Raped you? Ha! You loved every minute of it. If you recall that day in the woods, you were just as eager as I."
"Yes, we're both to blame. Truthfully, I didn't think it would affect you like this."
"You didn't think, that's your problem," he repeated contemptuously. "Have you thought about doing something about it?"
"What? An abortion?" Her eyes left his face for a flutter of a moment. "How dare you even suggest such a thing? Do you want to kill our baby? Would that make you feel better? If I do have an abortion, could we go on as if nothing has happened? Could you truly live with yourself?"
"I’d get over it.”
Andrea did not respond.
“Does your silence mean you'll have an abortion?"
"How can you expect me to make a decision like that? This is not a case of choosing a chocolate or vanilla ice cream cone. It's a case of life or death. The life or death of our child.”
"You need to make a decision right now."
"You want
an answer? Okay. No. I won't. That's out of the question. Kurt, I'd give my life for you, but not our child's life."
“Even if it means I'll leave you?" he threatened, his words raw and angry.
"Yes," she said, helpless and sobbing. "Yes."
He grabbed his robe and left the bed.
She pulled the blankets around her, feeling the ice creep over her body as the ice layered the branches of the trees outside the windows. She lay there alone: exposed, hopeless, and vulnerable.
The loud sounds of doors opening and slamming shut made her come to her senses. She ran to the living room to see what Kurt was doing.
"Where are the God damn glasses?" he shouted as he drank from a bottle of Johnny Walker Red.
"The glasses are in the wet bar," she said, defiantly.
"Don't you think it's a little too early to drink?"
He looked at his watch. "No, I don't think so. It’s afternoon in New York." He poured himself a double shot, drank it down, and poured another.
"You're going to get sick if you keep that up."
"That's okay. We'll just say it's the flu," he sneered, and flopped onto the sofa.
He watched her from the across the room. There was so much rage in him; he could feel it searing his pores. The bitter rise of it stung his throat. "Did you deliberately set out to get pregnant?" he said, in a raspy voice.
"No, but . . . ."
"But what?"
“I thought once you found out, you'd accept it. Our marriage has been a marriage of love. Our love was built on faith and trust. With that faith and trust a seed was planted and has taken root in my body. I thought you'd understand we've created something from us.”
“The only thing I comprehend is that you took away the ‘us’ when you lied to me. A person who would do anything for her own self satisfaction.”
"Try to understand. Out of this ‘us,’ we can have a ’we,’ a family made from ’us.’ Out of our love, we have created an extension of ourselves." Despondent, Andrea turned to go back into the bedroom.
Kurt jumped up from the sofa and followed her. "You . . . You don’t get it," he shouted after her. "You just don't get it. That's the problem. I don't want an extension of myself, of my genes.” He quaffed down his drink and threw the empty glass on the floor. “I won't let this responsibility lead me into a life I choose not to have. Do you understand me?" He wheeled her around to face him. The shock on her face almost brought him to his knees. He turned from her and walked into the bedroom. He took his luggage from the closet, pulled his clothes out of the dresser drawers and threw them in haphazardly.
Of Body And Soul Page 12