by K. C. Lynn
The doctor is the one to respond. “That’s fine; however, it will be up to Mrs. Santiago whether you come into the room or not.”
Kolan nods then looks at me.
“Go on. I’ll wait here,” I tell him.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
He hesitates for only a moment before following the doctor and Vicki, keeping Benny close to his side. Once they’re out of sight, a heavy sigh escapes me as I try to tamp down my own fear that’s been fighting to surface. I hate hospitals and haven’t been in one since the night I ran.
Wrapping my arms around my body to ward off the sudden chill, I try to distract myself. I wander down one of the halls, making sure to stay close to the waiting room, and stop to look at some of the plaques on the wall next to the vending machines. I’m so caught up reading the names that I startle when someone clears their throat.
I spin around with a hand over my heart to see a doctor getting coffee from one of the machines.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologizes.
“It’s okay. I didn’t hear you walk up.”
He raises a cup at me. “Coffee?”
“No, thank you.”
After filling his cup, he leans against the vending machine, his eyes remaining on me as he takes a leisurely sip. “Do you find our awards interesting?” he asks, gesturing to where my attention just was.
I smile. “No, not really, just trying to keep myself busy while I wait for my friend.”
“You’re here for a friend?”
I nod.
“Too bad.”
I frown, finding it’s an odd thing to say. “Why do you say that?”
“Because if you had needed a doctor, I could have offered my assistance,” he says, flashing me a charming smile.
My fingers move to my scarf as I shift nervously.
He extends his hand to me. “Blake.”
“Lia,” I say, accepting his gesture, but immediately regret it when he holds my hand longer than necessary.
“Nice to meet you, Lia. I don’t recognize you. Are you from around here?”
“I just—”
“That’s none of your business, Doctor.”
I turn to see Kolan standing behind me with Benny beside him, his eyes as hard as his tone.
“Hey, guys,” I greet them.
“What’s going on here?” Kolan asks, his eyes trained on Blake like he’s about to rip him apart.
I don’t get the chance to explain before Benny cuts in. “Looks to me like this fool is treading on your territory.”
Oh god.
I quickly speak before the situation can get more uncomfortable. “This is Blake. We ran into each other when—”
“I know who he is,” Kolan interrupts. “How’s your wife, Doctor?”
Wife?
I turn back to Blake, seeing a cocky smirk on his face, but his eyes are narrowed in irritation. Rather than respond to Kolan, he straightens from the vending machine and looks at me. “It was nice to meet you, Lia. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
“Bye.” I wave to his retreating back, not wanting to be rude. Bringing my attention to Kolan and Benny again, I clear my throat and try to break the tension. “So, did everything go okay with your mom?”
“Yeah, she’s gonna be okay, and she said I can stay with this guy,” he says, jerking a thumb at Kolan. “So it’s just the Champ and me for a few days and we’re going to paartay.” He dances, making me smile.
Kolan grunts, his tight expression easing. “Hardly, kid, you have school. Which is why we need to get out of here and put you to bed.”
“Aw man,” Benny grumbles as we make our way out of the hospital.
They decide to drop me off first before going back to Benny’s to grab his stuff. I give Kolan directions to the small two-bedroom house I rent. It’s located on a quiet street and within walking distance to everywhere I need to be, especially work. It was a blessing I found it, otherwise I would still be staying at the motel. There are not many apartment complexes around, so when I found the house and saw the rent was affordable, I jumped on it. Especially since the landlord allowed me to rent on a month-to-month basis.
Benny does most of the talking while Kolan remains silent. I’m having a hard time gauging his mood and worry he’s upset with me, though I have no idea why he would be. When he pulls onto my driveway, I reach for the door handle and turn to say good-bye but he surprises me by getting out.
I glance back at Benny and give him a smile. “Good night, Benny. I’m glad everything is going to be okay with your mom.”
“Bye, Lia, thanks for everything.”
I didn’t do anything, but I nod anyway and move to get out as Kolan opens the door for me. I take his outstretched hand as he helps me down, the warmth of his touch shooting all the way up my arm.
Silence rains around us as he walks me to my door. Climbing the cement stairs, I turn around to say thank you and find him standing right behind me. My back meets the door, my pulse racing as I stare up at him.
Unable to bear the silence any longer, I finally break it. “Are you mad at me?” I ask, worried for his answer.
“Why would I be?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, you tell me.”
He moves in closer, his hands bracing against the door on either side of my head. “Yeah, I’m mad,” he admits. “But not at you. I didn’t like that fucker being close to you.”
“He was just grabbing a coffee and introduced himself,” I rush to explain, not wanting him to misunderstand. “He was only there a few seconds before you came. We were just talking.”
“I don’t care. I didn’t like it.”
“Why?” I ask.
His eyes close, jaw flexing. “It’s better for the both of us if I don’t answer that.”
He’s right, I know he is, but disappointment still strikes me.
“I’m not sure what my schedule is going to be for the next few days now that I have Benny,” he says, changing the subject. “I’ll text you when I know more then we can book our next lesson.”
“No problem. You just worry about Benny. If it’s easier, I could see someone else,” I suggest, not wanting him to feel obligated.
Something dangerous flashes in his eyes. “Nobody gets you but me.”
Those possessive words should terrify me and have me running in the other direction. I know how dangerous they can be but with Kolan, they carry a different meaning. They don’t scare me. Maybe because I’ve belonged to someone for so long that I’ve never wanted. If there were ever someone I could choose to belong to, it would be this man standing in front of me.
My eyes remain locked with his as I gaze up at him, a million words dangling in my throat. Being this close to him reminds me of the kiss we nearly shared earlier.
As if sensing my thoughts, he closes the small gap between us. A swift inhale moves into my lungs, my fingers curling into his shirt when he leans in to drag his nose across my cheek, bringing his mouth to my ear. “Go inside before I end up doing something we both won’t be able to walk away from.” His lips brush my skin ever so softly before he steps back.
I want to reel him back in, to soak in the warmth and safety he brings me, but know I can’t. It would be selfish of me because it will only be a matter of time until I’m gone again.
“Good night, Kolan,” I whisper before turning around to enter the house.
“Good night, Lia.”
Closing the door, I rest my forehead against it, releasing the breath that’s been trapped inside my chest. After clicking the lock in place, I head to my room and get ready for bed, skipping my usual evening tea.
As I take off my clothes and change into my pajamas, I make sure to avoid the mirror in my room, unable to stomach what I unveil when my scarf comes off. I crawl into bed and stare at the ceiling, listening to nothing but silence. My heart grows lonelier with each passing moment, and I begin thinking about my family.
Glancin
g at the clock, I see it’s late, but now more than ever I need to hear my mother’s voice. To know they’re all okay. It’s been two months since my last phone call to them, and even though each time rips through my wounded heart, it also brings me peace.
I reach for my prepaid cell phone and dial the landline before covering the bottom with my hand. My heart thunders with every ring until it stops altogether when my mom answers.
“Hello.” Her voice is soft but she doesn’t sound asleep.
“Hi, Mom,” I whisper, even though she can’t hear me.
“Hello?”
“I miss you guys,” I tell her, ensuring my hand is gripped tightly over the transmitter.
“Sophie, baby, is that you?” she asks like always, her voice thick with the same searing pain tearing through me. “Please, honey, say something.”
I bite my lip, tears rushing down my cheeks as I fight the urge to talk to her—to confirm that it’s me even if she already knows. “I love you. I’m doing okay and hope you all are, too.”
“Is it her?” I hear my dad ask, sounding close.
“Sophie, if you can hear me, please come back to us. Come home,” she pleads. “Everything will be okay. We’ll help you and get through this together. We’ll protect you.”
She doesn’t realize that no one can protect me and this is the only way to make sure they stay safe.
“Please, baby, we all miss you so much.”
My throat begins to burn, and I feel myself weaken. “I love you all so much,” I say again. “Give Dad and Tess a kiss for me.”
“Soph—”
I hang up, cutting off my dad’s gruff voice. My phone drops to my chest the same time a sob explodes from me. Turning on my side, I hug my pillow and cry out all my pain and frustration. I cry until exhaustion sweeps over me and I’m pulled under, knowing I will wake up and live out another lonely day.
CHAPTER NINE
Kolan
My thoughts are consumed with Lia as I drive home later that night. Even Benny’s incessant talking does nothing to distract me. When I walked out of the hospital room to see that asshole hitting on her, I was ready to rip him apart. I have no right to feel that way, no claim to her, and I know it. No matter how much I wish otherwise, it will never happen. It can’t. She’s definitely not the type to handle my kind of fucked-up.
But that’s the only way I come—the only way I know.
I need to remember that, especially for her sake. It’s clear she’s endured too much pain, and the last thing I want to do is add to it. But it’s getting hard. I’ve never wanted someone the way I want her and not just her body but her. Every time I’m not with her, I’m thinking about her—worrying about her.
“Why are we at the beach?” Benny asks when I turn down the street that leads to the public beach.
“Because I live here.”
“You live on the beach?”
“Yeah,” I reply nonchalantly. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I guess to a kid it would be.
“Sahweet! Guess it’s a good thing I brought my swim trunks. I was hoping for a pool but the ocean will do just fine.”
“I’m sure it will,” I say blandly. “But for the record, I have a pool, too.”
“Yes!” He fist-pumps. “Ocean or pool? Decisions, decisions. It’s gonna be a hard couple of days with you.”
I grunt. “Don’t get too excited, kid. You have school then we have the gym, then you can decide from there whether it will be the pool or ocean.”
“I say we skip school. I feel a tummy ache comin’ on anyway.”
My eyes shift to his. “Nice try, but I don’t think so.”
He shrugs. “It was worth a shot.”
Shaking my head, I drive down the long stretch, passing by the few condos before we arrive at my place that’s situated all on its own, far enough away from everyone else.
“You have your own beach?” Benny asks in awe as I hit the garage door opener.
“I like my privacy.” It was a good chunk of change but worth every penny. It’s private property, which means it keeps the fucking reporters away. It’s also a great stretch for my morning runs.
After pulling into the garage, I cut the engine and look over to see Benny staring at me. “You got a butler who’s going to come get my suitcase, maybe even greet me with something to drink?”
Jesus, the kid’s a smart-ass.
“No. But even if I did, you’re old enough to carry your own damn suitcase.”
His chuckle fills the space as we both climb out of the vehicle. He follows me inside the house, dragging his Spiderman suitcase behind him.
“Holy shit!” he says, walking around with his mouth open as he takes in the place. “So where’s the bat cave?”
“Downstairs, where I lock away all the mouthy little kids.”
“Cool.” He flashes me a grin that probably gets him out of shit on a daily basis then continues exploring. He bypasses the living room and moves into the kitchen to look out the patio door. “Found the pool! How about a late night swim, Champ?”
“Tomorrow,” I say, hating to be a downer, especially after the night he’s had. “You want something to eat before bed?” I’m praying he says no since I’m not sure what I have that’s appropriate for a kid.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“All right, come on then. I’ll show you where you’re sleeping.” I lead him into the spare bedroom that’s cluttered with boxes.
Shit, I forgot about these.
“Not planning on staying long?” he asks.
“I just moved in a few months ago,” I explain, but know it’s a weak excuse. No one is ever here except my sister and she doesn’t need to stay the night so I haven’t made it a priority. I point to the bathroom at the other end of the room. “Go brush your teeth and wash up while I move them out of the way.”
He grabs his toothbrush from his suitcase and heads into the bathroom. “Holy crap! This bathroom is bigger than my whole apartment. Maybe I’ll just sleep in this here tub.”
Shaking my head at his commentary, I begin stacking the boxes in the corner of the room.
Benny walks out a few minutes later in nothing but his boxer briefs. “I sleep better without clothes on,” he explains before flexing his skinny little arms. “Don’t be jel of all this, Champ.”
I chuckle, unable to help myself. Okay, maybe the kid is funny sometimes. “Get your ass in bed.”
He hops up on the mattress, doing a few jumps before falling to his back. “Dang, even this bed is amazing. I figured you were rich but not Bruce Wayne rich.”
“I’m not that rich, and I’ve worked my ass off for all of it. You could have this one day too if you work hard enough.”
“Yeah right, not where I come from,” he grumbles, crawling under the covers.
“Don’t be so sure. I came from nothing. I didn’t even have a cool mom like you. If you want it bad enough, you can have it. Doesn’t matter where you start from.”
“Maybe,” he says, but there’s no conviction in his tone. “So, what’s the deal with Lia?”
“What about her?”
His mouth splits into a grin. “She’s hot.”
I grunt. “Yeah well, don’t get your hopes up. She’s not into mouthy little ten year olds.”
“Does that mean you guys aren’t dating?”
“No, we’re friends.” Just saying it puts me in a bad mood.
“But you like her?”
My eyes narrow with annoyance. “You always this nosey?”
“Pretty much. I’m a rare gem,” he says, flashing me his dimples.
Seriously, where does he come up with this shit?
“Yeah, I like her, okay?”
“I knew it! I’m surprised you didn’t kick that doctor’s ass tonight.”
“I didn’t need to use my fists. Remember, pick and choose your battles,” I remind him. “Now, lights out or you’re going to be dragging your ass tomorrow for school.”
“Yeah,
yeah,” he grumbles, disappointed.
“Do you need anything before I go? Do you sleep with a light on or anything?”
He stiffens, offended by the question. “What do I look like to you? A sissy? No, I don’t need no damn light on.”
I chuckle. “Just checking, kid. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Shutting off the light, I begin to close the door when he calls out to me. “Hey, Kolan?”
I swing it back open, surprised he used my name. “Yeah?”
“Thanks…for everything. Especially for taking care of my mom,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion.
“No problem.”
I leave the door open a crack before heading into my room. Stripping my clothes off, I climb in the shower, hoping the hot water will loosen the tightness in my muscles. Seeing how scared Benny was when he came running into the gym tonight reminded me so much of myself, even if my circumstances were different. His fear and helplessness is something I used to know well, especially when it came to worrying about my sister. Which is why I’ll make sure to do whatever I need to for him, because no ten-year-old should have to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.
CHAPTER TEN
Sophie
It’s been two days since I’ve seen or spoken to Kolan. Two days that feel like weeks. I’ve gotten so used to his company that being without him these past couple of days have been lonelier than usual. Actually, it’s been absolute torture.
I don’t know how this happened, especially in such a short amount of time. For the last fifteen months I’ve been doing okay on my own. Not great but okay. I had accepted that this was my life. But now…not so much. At least when it comes to Kolan. When I’m not around him, I miss him and am constantly thinking about him. Maybe being alone for so long has finally taken its toll. Whatever it is, it’s not good, especially for my wounded heart.
The thought of going another day without seeing him was too much to bear, so I decided to stop by the gym on my way home from work. Hopefully, if I check in to see how he and Benny are doing, I’ll feel better about going home and being alone tonight. It’s doubtful but worth a try.