by K. C. Lynn
I come up for air, taking in my direction from the boat then pull in another long breath, knowing it could very well be the last one I take.
I will not come back up without her.
My ears begin to ache from pressure the deeper down I swim. With every moment that passes my dread grows. Defeat stakes its claim as darkness begins to invade me.
Until my hand connects with something soft at the last second.
Grabbing hold, I bring it against me, a newfound hope surging through my blood when I feel her familiar curves. I fight my way back to the surface and clear the water on a rush.
“Soph, baby, can you hear me?” I ask through winded breath, tapping her cheek.
When there’s no response, I begin swimming back to shore, knowing there’s no way I’ll get her up on the dock myself right now. Exhaustion weighs down on me as I keep her limp body close, my tired muscles threatening to give up.
As soon as my feet touch ground, I cradle her in my arms and fight through the crashing waves. “Hang on, baby, we’re almost there,” I whisper into her hair.
Carefully, I lay her down on the sand and drop next to her to begin CPR. A few rotations pass and I get nothing—no response.
“Come on, Soph,” I grind out, relentless with my compressions.
She blurs before me, my eyes and throat burning like a motherfucker as I breathe every bit of air from my lungs into hers.
Seconds later, water spews from her mouth. Sweet fucking relief explodes through my chest as I turn her to her side. “There you go. Good girl,” I breathe, rubbing her back as she coughs and sputters, her lungs heaving for air.
My heart pounds a steady beat of fear and guilt. Thoughts of what almost happened running wildly through my mind. Sirens sound in the distance as I gather her shivering body in my arms.
“I’m sorry, I tried,” she croaks through chattering teeth.
“Shh. Don’t talk.” I burrow my face in her wet hair, feeling something hot leak from the corner of my eye. “Everything’s going to be okay. You did good, baby. I’m proud of you.”
I hold her until the paramedics show up, my chest becoming hollow once again when she’s taken from my arms.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Sophie
Two days later, I sit on the edge of my hospital bed with my feet dangling while I wait for Kolan to come back and take me home. Other than the small knot on my head and my face looking a little worse for wear, I’m feeling better.
I’ve lived to see another day, and I will continue to because Daniel is finally gone for good.
He’s dead.
Cooper came by yesterday afternoon to tell us Daniel’s body was recovered. I knew he was dead, but I wouldn’t feel safe until his body was discovered. He also filled us in on the evidence that was found in the house Daniel and his grandmother were renting. It seems Daniel found me by a photo that was floating around on the Internet of Kolan and me the night we were walking Charleston. A picture I had no idea was taken. The article had read, Kolan Slade’s Next Victim.
Some stupid gossip magazine ran it, which made me furious on Kolan’s behalf. Daniel had it pinned to a board with all the other pictures he had of me, ones he’d taken himself.
In the end it all turned out to be a blessing in disguise. How Daniel found me doesn’t matter. What matters is he did and he’s been stopped—for good.
There was also proof that Daniel was the one who vandalized the gym and Kolan’s truck, which didn’t come as a surprise. As disturbing as some of the news was from Cooper yesterday, there was also good, too. Evidence was found that they believe could lead them to the whereabouts of Lana Caldwell. They found a map in the grandmother’s chest to a forest located only a few miles from where she had lived in San Francisco. With it was a necklace that was identified as Lana’s. As horrible as it is to say, I hope they do find her body so the family can finally have peace. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for them not knowing what’s happened to her…
The thought makes me think about my own family and the hell they’ve been through not knowing where I am, but I try not to dwell on it.
I’ll make it right.
What matters now is I don’t have to live in fear and look over my shoulder any longer. Daniel can’t hurt me or anyone else ever again, and it’s all thanks to Kolan.
My warrior.
Kolan chooses that moment to walk into the room, the quick whoosh of the door opening is equivalent to what my heart feels every time I lay eyes on him. It doesn’t matter that I just saw him only minutes ago. The man always manages to take my breath away just by being in the same room as me.
“Hey, baby,” he greets me, closing the door behind him.
“Hi.” I smile, ignoring the ache in my cheek.
Dropping down in front of me, he takes my hand between his warm ones and presses a kiss to my palm. “You feeling okay?” he asks.
“Mmm. Yes. Even better now that you’re here.”
He flashes me that lopsided grin of his but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s been like this ever since Cooper left yesterday. I know he feels responsible for the picture, but he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t feel any guilt when it comes to me. He saved my life…in more ways than one.
“Are we ready to go?” I ask with a smile. “I want to go home and feel your arms around me for the rest of the day.”
We haven’t spoken about me going back to my own house. I know I will eventually, but I’m hoping to spend a few more days with him before I do.
His head lowers, gaze dropping to my lap as he gives me a solemn nod. “Yeah, Soph. Everything is in place. I just…I want another minute with you.”
I frown at the sound of his gruff voice. “Hey, look at me.” The moment his tormented eyes meet mine, devastation grips my chest. My hand moves to his jaw. “Kolan, what’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing.” Leaning in, he buries his face in my neck, his lips soothing over my puckered skin. “You know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, right?”
My worry eases and heart warms, his words like a balm to my frazzled nerves. “Well, I don’t like to assume but…” I trail off with a giggle.
He doesn’t smile like I hoped he would. Instead, he seals his mouth over mine, silently conveying what he’s trying to say. My arms encircle his neck as I drown myself in this feeling—in him.
With a groan he lifts me from the bed, my feet dangling inches above the ground. Our lips don’t sever until we’re both in need of air. My eyes remain closed, wanting to bask in this moment forever. When I open them, I find him watching me, his expression soft.
“You have the whole world in the palm of your hand now, Soph, and you deserve every piece of it.”
Another frown pulls at my face as I try to gauge his mood. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“I have a surprise for you.”
That brings a smile to my face. “What have you done now, Kolan Slade?”
He leans in, pressing his lips to my forehead one last time before placing me back on my feet. “Come on. I’ll show you.”
Intrigued, I take his warm hand and follow him out of the hospital room, my eyes never leaving him as I attempt to figure out what’s going on.
“Sophie?”
I tense, the familiar tear-filled voice infiltrating my heart. Turning, all the air freezes in my lungs. I blink several times, terrified each time that what I’m seeing will disappear.
“Mom? Dad? Tess?” The names fall on a choked whisper, their images blurring before my eyes. My feet move on their own, a sob exploding past my lips as I run down the hall and straight into my mother’s waiting arms.
“Oh, baby, I’ve missed you so much,” she cries, her tears falling into my hair.
“I’ve missed you, too.” I move an arm around Tess as she huddles in, her tear-stained cheek sticking to mine. My dad wraps his arms around us all, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
My heart expands as mi
nutes pass, peace settling over me to be reunited with the people I love most in the world. It’s as if the final cracks in my fractured soul are finally being mended together. I feel completely whole for the first time in so long.
I’m no longer healing.
I’m finally healed.
My mother eventually steps back to cradle my face between her hands; the sadness in her eyes has guilt striking my heart.
“I’m so sorry,” I manage hoarsely, my eyes moving to my dad and Tess too, hating to see the same pain in their expressions as my mom’s. “So sorry I stayed away. I thought—”
My mom presses a finger to my lips. “We can talk about that later. All that matters right now is that you’re okay.” She drops a hand to my neck, her fingers gently brushing my scars. “Are you…okay?”
“I am now,” I assure her, feeling a small smile stretch across my cracked lips. “And it’s all thanks to one person. Let me introduce you guys. You’re going to love him. He…” My words fade when I turn around to find Kolan gone.
I start toward the nurses’s station, wondering if there’s some leftover paperwork, but my mother snags my wrist. “Kolan?”
“Yeah. You met him?”
“Of course. How do you think we knew you were here?”
It’s then I remember his surprise. Of course this was all him, I think with a smile.
“He called yesterday and arranged for us to fly down here late this morning.” Warmth invades me as I’m once again blown away by his kindness and generosity. “He seems wonderful, honey.”
“He really is, Mom.”
“We can tell,” my father cuts in. “He even said he’d take care of getting your things packed up and sent home for you so you won’t have to worry about it.”
Every muscle in my body strains, panic striking me hard and fast. “Wh—what?” I ask, thinking I misunderstood.
“I know, I know,” my mother says. “Your father offered to pay for it but he insisted he would take care of it.”
“But…” I trail off, not knowing what to say, my heart shattering into a million pieces.
He doesn’t want me?
That doesn’t make sense. He just said I’m the best thing that ever happened to him.
It suddenly all becomes clear. How upset he was. Why he wanted to spend more time with me. Did he think I was just going to go back home? Is that what he wants?
Tears burn the back of my throat as utter devastation consumes me.
“Come on, sweetheart.” My dad wraps an arm around my shoulder and begins leading me down the hall. “You look exhausted. Let’s go back to the hotel so you can rest. Our flight leaves tomorrow afternoon.”
Tess links her arm with mine as we make our way toward the exit, her head resting on my shoulder. My body is moving, breathing on its own, but I feel completely dead inside. I’m lost to a man who owns my heart, the one crumbling inside of my aching chest the farther away we walk.
One he doesn’t want.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Kolan
Sometimes, doing the right thing fucking sucks.
Night has long since fallen as I stand on the beach, listening to the waves crash against the shore. I came out here shortly after arriving home because I couldn’t stand the silence in my house, and I haven’t moved since.
It’s been hours since I last saw her—touched her, held her—and already I’m a fucking mess. Walking out of that hospital without her was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I never intended to give her up. It was only nights ago that I was buried in her sweet body, confessing how I would never let anyone take her from me. Yet, here I stand. Alone. Because I love her enough to let her go—to let her have the life she deserves.
The one that was stolen from her.
Nothing else matters except her happiness, and I know what makes her most happy is being with her family and dancing. It isn’t here with me.
The thought only sharpens the ache that has taken up a permanent residence inside my chest. Shaking my head, I decide that drowning my sorrows in a bottle of Jack is a hell of a lot better than wallowing in them. My feet sink into the cool sand as I make my way back up to the house. Climbing up the few steps to my patio I come to an abrupt halt, my chest seizing at the sight of her standing next to my pool.
Arms wrapped around her middle, the hem of her soft yellow dress whispers across her thighs as the slight breeze catches her long wavy hair, brushing it across her tear-stained cheeks. If not for the misery on her pretty face, I’d think I was fucking hallucinating, but in my fantasies she would never look as sad as she does right now. It takes every ounce of control I have not to take her in my arms and kiss the hell out of her right now.
“How did you get here?”
Smooth start, asshole.
“Taxi,” she responds quietly. “I was going to call, but I didn’t think you would answer.”
I remain quiet because she’s right, I probably wouldn’t have.
“Why did you just leave me like that?”
The tremble in her voice tugs at my heart, and I fight like hell against the pull. The one that’s been there since she came into my life—one that will never go away.
“I wanted to give you time with your family.”
“So you were going to come back for me?”
Silence descends again because we both know the answer to that, and I can’t bring myself to say it.
“Did you really think I was just going to get on a plane tomorrow and pretend the past couple of months never happened?”
“You should,” I tell her, the words feeling bitter on my tongue.
“That’s really what you want?”
“This isn’t about what I fucking want,” I snap. “This is about you, Sophie. It’s about taking your life back and living out all of the dreams you had before that sick fuck took them from you.”
“Well, dreams change,” she cries out. “What about us? What about all the time we’ve spent together? I’m in love with you, Kolan.”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks, a forceful blow to the chest. I shake my head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The hell I don’t. Don’t tell me what I feel. Don’t treat me like I’m some stupid girl who can’t make her own decisions.”
“Then don’t make stupid decisions!”
“Why is it stupid?” she asks. “Huh? Why is it so hard for you to believe I love you?”
Because no one else ever has.
My jaw snaps shut, teeth grinding as I bite back that reply.
“So this is it?” she asks, tears beginning to stream down her beautiful face. “You’re going to throw it all away, just like that?”
My hands fist at my sides, throat on fucking fire as I refrain from dropping down in front of her and begging her to stay.
Jesus, I don’t know if I can do this. Even if it’s the right thing.
She shakes her head bitterly. “Well, you can think I’m stupid all you want, but at least I’m not a coward.” Her words hang in the tense air between us before she turns around and moves for my back door.
Panic grips my chest and sends me into motion. My bare feet eat up the concrete as I catch up to her. I slam my hand on the sliding glass door before she can open it and crowd her against it, feeling her back tremble with her stifled sobs.
“Please don’t cry, Soph,” I plead, my throat feeling raw. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
“All you’re doing is breaking my heart.”
I bury my face in her hair, her agony igniting a fire in my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t want this. I’m just trying to give you back everything you lost. I know how much you’ve missed your family.”
Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, she turns around in my caged arms and peers up at me, her sad eyes knocking the wind straight out of my lungs. “Of course I have but this isn’t the same as last time. I can talk to them every day. They can
come here, and I can visit them. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, Kolan. I can have you both.”
“And what about dancing, huh? What about everything you were working toward? I’m not letting you give that up for me.”
“I don’t have to. I can dance anywhere.”
“It won’t be the same and you know it.”
“Sure it will but even if it wasn’t, even if I had to choose, I’d choose you. I would always choose you, Kolan, because I love you more than dancing.”
I shake my head in disbelief, feeling completely undeserving of her.
“Do you feel anything for me?” she asks, her voice wavering. “Have the past couple of months meant anything to you?”
“Jesus, of course they have. I fucking love you, Soph. It’s not about that. It never was.”
Her hands fist my shirt, eyes pleading. “Then don’t send me away. Don’t throw us away.”
I drop my forehead on hers, my breathing harsh from the emotions threatening to suffocate me. “Be sure, Sophie. Because if you stay, then you better know now I’m never letting you go.”
She gives me a watery smile. “Promise?”
Instead of responding with useless words, I cup her neck and bring her in mouth to mouth, sealing both of our fates. I inhale her cry of longing, tasting the saltiness of her tears, and swallow every bit of pain I’ve caused her.
“I love you so much,” she whimpers, locking her arms around my neck.
“I love you too, baby. So fucking much.” My hands slip under her dress, a strained groan ripping from my chest when I feel the scrap of silk between her round bare globes. “Goddamn, I need you.”
“Then take me.”
With a growl, I cup her bare ass and hoist her up, her long legs hugging my waist. I reach for the door and am about to charge into my house like the fucking Flash when she stops me.
“No. Here.”
“What?” I ask like an idiot. I’m so fucking blind with need that I can’t think straight.
“Here. Make love to me out here.”