by Janet Lee
Before he left, Michael placed five pounds upon the mantelshelf over the fireplace and said that would be a guarantee that he would return.
When Charles came home he came in around the back, as was his way when he was returning from work, for his clothes were often filthy with blood and wool. He wore a leather apron but it did little to keep him clean. And then there was the smell.
Do you know the sheep smell, sir? They stink badly enough when they are alive, as any shearer’s wife will tell you, but when they are dead it is as though all their final stench goes into their wool during their last moments upon Earth, for they reek twice as bad once they are dead.
I always had two copper boilers set up out the back for the smelly work clothes, for it would save me the burden of going to the pump each day and filling the copper with fresh water, which I had to do when I washed on a Monday. Charles would soak his filthy sheep clothes in the water so that the flies would not get into the cloth. Then he would walk to the pump from which we drew our water.
That afternoon when Charles called hello to me from out the back and I looked out the kitchen window and saw him place his shirt in the copper, then walk down to the pump, I thought how old he looked. I had never found Charles very attractive, though I do not like to speak badly of those who have passed, and he had many other good qualities as I have told you previous.
But as I watched Charles lift the flannel and clean off the dirt, I could see the age upon his body, the folds under his neck and the slackness under his arms. And I thought of Michael, and how smart and strong he had looked in his suit. I know it is wicked to have such thoughts, sir.
Charles finished his wash and came into the kitchen and asked if he might meet the new boarder. May said he had gone somewhere and would be back later.
Then it was May herself who went to the mantel in the parlour and got the five pounds for Charles.
A fancy man, is he? Charles asked May.
May shrugged, as I do not think she knew what her pa meant.
Then he said to me, Young and handsome, this friend of yours is, is he? I said Michael had come into some money with luck on the cards and that he was just an acquaintance who paid his rent in advance.
I turned back to the stew I was making, knowing that five pounds was a lot of money and thinking that in preparing the cottage for Michael’s arrival I had run up a tick at Sayers’s store. I would use the money to settle the account.
38.
All was well for some time. Michael had not yet started work at the fellmongers, but he went off somewhere each afternoon and came home very late. So Charles would be up and gone before Michael woke, and in bed before he came home. This went on for several days without the two men meeting each other.
I could not tell you what it was Michael did for work at that time, sir, but I think he was off gambling. I tried to keep the house quiet as best I could as he would rise about midday. He would go down to the pump to make himself fresh.
Then later, when he was going out, he would take his suit from the nail and ask if he might dress in the children’s room for, he said, there was a looking glass in there, and he took great care with his appearance.
And I suppose I took more time with my own appearance and I made an effort to sweep out our cottage and pretty it as best I could as I had made such an effort to have it nice. I was on the lookout for the rats who had been in our house. I found two of them dead and so I did not put down any more of the powder, but kept the box of it upon the shelf in case it was needed.
Michael and Charles were cordial enough when they did meet each other, which, as I said, was after Michael had been boarding for a few days on account of Charles working in the day and Michael working – or at least going out – at night. Charles treated him as he would any of the other boarders. Which was all he was at the time, sir.
When Michael said he needed work in the daytime as he had lost his work in the evenings – although I was never entirely sure what it was he did, but whatever it was, he did it no more – it was Charles who got Michael work at the local fellmongering factory and they seemed very friendly together. Michael did not keep that particular job for long, although I cannot recall on what account.
With so many of us crowded into the one house, and me working to try to keep the house in order and the children fed, I began to think that Michael’s earlier attentions would wane. It could not be more obvious to him that I was a married woman, for he now lived in close company with me and my husband. As the days went into weeks, I learnt Michael was a great tease, and a flirt, and he would tell me I was a sweetie, and a rose, and he would be winking at me, although I never placed much store by his flirtations, for I knew his type. Oh, he was a rogue, and I thought his teasing and flirting to all be in jest, but the fun continued, sir. Now, it is one thing to say a few teasing words when you are enjoying the drink with a friend, and another to continue to enjoy their company when you hear them screaming at their children, or see them doing the washing or coming from the privy in the morning, which is what occurs when you live in the same house with someone.
But he did make me laugh, and he continued to do so, even with all the children and boarders and noise of the household. And so it was that I began to think we were good friends, for the teasing was of a manner that good friends might do to each other.
Michael did not take to factory work and would be at Pople’s Terrace more during the day, when he was between jobs. He still had the money to pay his board, although I could not say how he came by this. Then it was that one of the other boarders – although I shall not say which one, for I do not want to even say his name, it makes me so angry, so I shall say just one of the boarders – told Charles that he thought I was particular with Michael. Even though I always had one of the children home with me during the day, as I said, to make it look proper.
Charles asked me if this were true and I said it was not and that Michael and I were friends and that was all, and I said he should know me for the faithful wife I was and he should not believe the gossip of one of our boarders. And he said he wanted to know what went on in his own house, and I said if he wanted to put a boarder’s word over that of his wife, then perhaps he would prefer to be married to him. Charles tried to hush me, saying that the boarder would hear, and I said I hoped that he did, spreading such lies as that about me. And, well, I will not tell you the rest, but some very unpleasant words were said.
From that time, I did not speak to this boarder at all, and Charles did not speak to Michael, and watched him like a hawk, so it was not a happy household.
Legislative Assembly
Mr. WALKER urged that the State was just on the eve of committing a national murder, and asked that justice should be tempered with mercy. Capital punishment never had a deterrent effect, and imprisonment for life would meet the justice of this case …
Mr. NEILD contended that the little children who gave evidence in the case were brought to the court time after time until they became educated up to the matter …
Mr. NEILD said he did not mean to say that the officers of the Crown tutored the children, but that these little children could not be brought so often into the court without the matter being impressed on their minds. He could not better explain what he meant than by saying that a person by repeating a lie often came eventually to believe it …
Sir HENRY PARKES said that he believed that the women of the country would vote for Mrs. Collins being hanged.
The Sydney Morning Herald16
39.
With all the arguing and unhappiness after the boarder’s nasty gossip, I began to think of how sorry my lot in life was. I began to resent Charles, as he was no fun at all, although that is not something I should be saying, sir, because of what happened after.
After the boarder made his coarse remarks, Michael and I became secretive with our friendship, where it had been all out and in the open pre
vious – our jokes and talking and the like. We wanted to have fun so we would go down to the hotel after Charles had gone to bed and have a drink and talk there. Michael had found other work carting green skins from the slaughterhouses on Glebe Island to the fellmongering sheds at Botany, so he and Charles were rising and leaving for work about the same time. I know the work was hard, and Charles would go to bed early, being tired, but Michael was able to stay up much later and still get up early, him being so much younger, and Michael only worked a few days here and there, whereas Charles worked every shift he could.
Michael told me he grew up on a sheep farm near Ballarat and was used to working with sheep and sheep skins. That was why he had come to work at Botany – he had heard the best fellmongers worked there and he wanted to learn their skills. And that was why he did not need to work every shift he was offered, or so he told me. And not working long hours also gave Michael the opportunity to be gambling. Now, I know Charles did not approve of this as he did not consider gambling a steady form of income, and neither was it, as it turned out.
When he went out to the gamble, I would loan Michael back the rent money, for as he explained to me, he liked to pay his rent when the cards were kind, but he might need to borrow it back when Lady Luck was looking away. I did not like to give him back his money as I thought the other boarders might think that they too would be able to loan back their money – we had two other boarders at the time – and also I knew Charles would not like it. One time when Charles asked where the money from the rent jar had gone, I said I had used it to pay off Sayers’s grocery tick, but this was only partly true and telling a lie to my husband weighed heavily upon me, and he need have only asked Mr Sayers to find me out.
So the next time he asked, I told the truth and said I had given money to Michael to use for his trip to the races. Charles was angry and he said that the money was not mine to give and was no longer Michael’s to have, and did I not know I was taking food from the mouths of my own children?
Charles said he would turn all of the boarders out of the house as he said there was no money coming in from them, for it was just given back whenever they liked so that they might go and gamble and so there was no point in them being kept in our home and they were to be off. And Charles said he was sick of all the gossip besides. And so I said that if he kicked out Michael because of the gossip of a boarder, and me lending a friend some money, then he might tend to his own filthy washing for I was having none of it. And so we argued over whose house it was, because yes he paid the rent and earnt the money, but I did work that was not paid. He said I had never worked a day in my life and I drank all his money away at the pub, but who was it that cooked the meals and washed the clothes and cared for the children? I suppose this argument is one many women must have with their husbands, for it is they who get the coin for their work, and we who do not.
I promised not to lend Michael back the rent money but Charles was having none of it. And all the boarders left that night, every one of them, even Michael. But there was no fighting between Michael and Charles that night. That came only a short time later. And it was a dreadful row, right in the middle of the street.
40.
I had caught the tram into the centre of Sydney with the children for no particular reason other than a nice outing for the day.
We made our way up Elizabeth Street and we sat in the park. Frederick and May and Edwin and baby Charlie played among the flowers. On account of it being near to Christmas the city had placed a large tree in the centre of the park and decorated it with coloured paper and the like, just as the royal family do, them being German.
It was a hot afternoon and after a time sitting watching them, I left the children to play and sought out the refreshment tent.
I bought a nobbler of beer and turned to look for a seat.
And there was Michael.
We shared some drink in the refreshment tent and then when the time came to leave, Michael caught the same tram back to Frog’s Hollow with me and the children.
On the way back to the house, Michael and I bought some beer and as we sat and shared a drink Michael told me his bookmaker friend had gone to Queensland and Michael was thinking of following him as he had no work.
I said that I did not want him to go because he was my friend and, well, we spoke of our friendship.
It was a sin, I know, and I confess I gave in to the weakness which he presented. I am but a weak woman, sir, and one who had gone without such loving for some time. We had been drinking for the afternoon, and the children were happy having been taken to the park.
Perhaps it was the joy of the coming season, or the thought that he would go to Queensland, I do not know, but I sat beside him on the couch and we leant in together and kissed and I am ashamed to say it was in this intimate state that Charles found us when he came home. There I was, a married woman, who was kissing a man not her husband.
You will have heard the story of this day, sir, for it was the argument which was spoken of at the trials and I think it has been in the papers.
There was a terrible row between the two men. Charles took his fists to Michael and hit him and kicked him out into the street and then gave him a beating. And he used very bad language, the likes of which I had not heard Charles use before. Charles hit Michael right there in the road until there were bruises and blood upon his face. The neighbours all came out to watch as they fought. None of the men tried to break up the fight, although it was largely one-sided, as Charles was older but he was angry and strong, and we argued in the street like common folk, like a mob of dogs arguing over scraps, and it was shameful.
I screamed at Charles to stop and said Michael had only come back to ask if he might move back as a boarder and if he did not let Michael move back in to board, then I would run away to Queensland with him.
And Charles shouted that he would let that man back in his house over his own dead body, which as it turned out, was a very unfortunate thing to say. Then I went to Michael, who was lying on the ground and had his hands up to shield his face, and Charles stopped his punching as I knew Charles would not hit when there was a chance he might hit me. He was not a man who would ever hit a woman.
So Charles stopped.
I helped Michael to his feet and he gathered his things and said he would be on his way, but he was badly beaten and I would have liked him to come into the house, but did not dare ask him on account of Charles.
Our son Arthur took hold of his father then and asked him why he was fighting and Charles said that it did not concern him, but Arthur persisted, I suppose because fighting was very out of character for Charles. Then Charles said to Arthur that we – and here Charles pointed to Michael and me – wanted Charles out of the way.
The words have taken a different turn now, on account of Charles being dead, for what Charles meant was that we wanted him to stay out of the way so we might run away to Queensland together and that we were planning to do that very thing. But as it appears in the retelling, well, it sounds as though it means something else, because of Charles dying.
At the time of the fight, Charles also said he would like to see Collins provide for me as well as he had done for so many years and I laughed at him and said it was a joke and hadn’t we taken in boarders because we had no money and his wages couldn’t provide? But I should say, sir, that while Charles did not provide as well as I would have liked in our marriage, he did work very hard and one should remember the good in people, as we wish the good in us to be remembered also.
After the fight, Michael went off up the street and I said to Charles that if he did not let Michael stay, then Michael would go to Queensland for there was nothing surer, and I would go with him. For there was nothing left for me here with him and Charles may raise the children himself and see how he liked tending to all their needs. And I said some unkind words, which thankfully Arthur did not hear and which I do regret now.
I went to see Constable Jeffes for I had some acquaintance with him as his beat would pass our door, and he would pop his head inside the cottage and he would say hello. I considered him a good copper and my friend. Well, I went to see Constable Jeffes to tell him that my husband had been fighting and had beaten one of our boarders, Michael Collins. I did not go into all the particulars myself, and I knew the neighbours would tell the constable soon enough about the argument.
The constable came and spoke with Charles and then he went and found Michael and asked if there was any need to take the matter further.
They say in the papers that there was a kicking out of the boarder, but there was certainly much more to it than that, for when Constable Jeffes sought out Michael he had a bruised face, which was plain to see, and though he did not show me, I think he may have shown the constable that he was bruised about the back and legs.
Michael did not press charges.
And he did not go to Queensland.
41.
My May comes to visit me today and sees me in my new cell.
She comes with someone from the government and I think it is this woman who has been appointed her guardian and is looking after May while I am in here.
Her hair is brushed and her dress is clean, but May herself looks very thin and carries a worried expression upon her face.
I want to speak with her, but I find I cannot find the words to say, and she looks around her. I think we are both low. We hold each other and then we both just give in to crying.
Later, we ease our tears and speak.
I ask her about her evidence, for I think speaking against me in court weighs heavily on the child. She says that now she is not sure about what she said in the court, and she did not know why she had ever said some of the things she did.