“I can’t spend the night with her,” Russ said with frustration.
“That serious?” Toby asked, watching him carefully. “You’re being responsible, aren’t you?”
“Sure, but it’s not sex. I mean, I’m ready for sex with Abby, but I want to do everything with her, even sleep. I mean really sleep. I want to wake up with her.”
“I’d say you’ve got it bad,” Toby said, knowing exactly what he meant.
“Yeah. But I can’t say much to Rich. He doesn’t—I think he’s afraid things won’t be the same with us if Abby and I—do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, but he’ll adjust, Russ. It’s probably hard on twins, but tell him how you feel.”
“I guess I’d better. I wouldn’t want to shock him.”
The sound of the barn door opening drew both their attentions. “That’s probably him now,” Russ added.
But the person who emerged from the coat and hat wasn’t Rich but Elizabeth. Toby set aside his plate of food and reached her side as she leaned against the wall, her sore ankle obvious.
“Elizabeth, what are you doing here?” he demanded.
“Well, thanks for the welcome,” she said with irritation. “I was getting cabin fever. I thought I’d come watch you train Buster.”
“Aunt Megan agreed to that? Risking you falling?” he asked incredulously as he scooped her into his arms and brought her to the bench he’d been sitting on.
He sat her down and reluctantly drew back.
“I didn’t ask my mother if I could leave the house, Toby. I’m not four years old.”
“I remember you went after your daddy when you were four. When she finally missed you, you were found in the pasture with Uncle Pete’s rodeo bulls.” Toby grinned at the memory.
“A long memory isn’t such a wonderful thing, Toby Randall. I may be able to think of a few stories about you, too,” Elizabeth warned.
Russ settled back down on the bench. “Hey, I haven’t heard stories like this. You got a good one on Toby?” he asked, glee in his voice.
“Never mind, Elizabeth. We’ll call it quits on tales.” Toby didn’t think she knew any stories, but the parents could’ve passed some on.
“Shoot, I think she should tell me something good,” Russ said. “You’ve always been the perfect child, Toby. When we came along, all we heard was ‘Toby wouldn’t do that,”’
Toby shrugged. “I’ve had my share of bad behavior, Russ. You guys are just as good as me, and you know it.” He’d fought this problem before. “In fact, I may disrupt the family in the near future, and you and Rich would become the picture of perfection to hold up to the rest of them.”
Russ laughed. “Yeah, right. What are you going to do? Return to the rodeo and win some more belt buckles? That would really upset everyone.”
He stood and stretched. “Ready to go back to the house now, Elizabeth? I’ll help you back.”
“No!” she exclaimed, startling her cousin. “No, I want to see Toby work with Buster. I’ll stay a while.”
Toby stared at her. Then he turned to Russ. “Thanks for bringing down the dinner, Russ. I’ll make sure Elizabeth gets back to the house before her bedtime.”
Russ shrugged and headed for the door. “Okay. I’m tired. I need to call Abby, then I’ll hit the sack. See you tomorrow.”
Toby watched Russ go, knowing that he’d be left alone with Elizabeth. Anticipation built in him.
“Is he serious about Abby?”
Toby turned to stare at Elizabeth again. “What?”
“I just wondered if he talked to you about Abby. She’s—she’s in love with him. I want her to be happy,” Elizabeth said. She dropped her gaze from his eyes. “It’s sad when you love someone and he—he doesn’t love you back.”
“You ever suffered from that?” he asked, trying to keep his voice casual.
She turned her face away. “I—when I was younger,” she mumbled.
“You had a crush on Mr. Sanders?” he teased, hoping for more information. Mr. Sanders had been the local chemistry teacher at the high school, almost to retirement when Toby had gone to school.
“No! No, not Mr. Sanders.”
“Then who?”
She got up from the bench and hobbled over to the corral. “Aren’t you going to start training Buster? Where is he?”
“I took him back to the stall so he could eat a little while I was having dinner. I’ll go get him.”
ELIZABETH drew a deep breath as she watched Toby stride toward the stalls at the far end of the arena. She should’ve just told him she’d had a crush on him. But the moment had slipped by.
Now Toby would be in the corral with Buster, and she could watch him with no problem. She loved watching him work with animals. He was so gentle, yet firm. He had a natural grace that made him a pleasure to watch, even if she weren’t in love with him.
She settled back with a smile as he led the horse into the arena.
An hour later, Toby led Buster over to the corral fence near her. “I’m calling it a night. He’s too tired to learn much more. Wait here and I’ll help you back to the house.”
She smiled at him and nodded. But as he led the horse back to the other end, she stood and circled the outside of the corral. After all, she limped a little, but it wasn’t too painful. She’d help Toby rub down Buster.
By the time she had negotiated the length of the arena and reached the stalls, Toby had almost finished with Buster.
“Need any help?” she asked softly.
Both the cowboy and the horse jumped. “Hell! You scared us both to death, Elizabeth. I expected you to wait for me.”
She stared at her handsome cowboy and decided she wouldn’t ever have a better opening than that. “I’ve been waiting for you, Toby. All my life.” Her body began trembling as she watched him stare at her.
“What did you say?” he asked, his gaze intense.
She swallowed her nervousness. If he rejected her, at least she’d know. “I said, I’ve been waiting for you all my life.”
After standing like a statue, Toby abruptly gave Buster several more swipes with the brush, then put the brush away. He came out of the stall and carefully latched the door.
Elizabeth watched his methodical movements in growing irritation. Wasn’t he even going to answer her? Maybe that was his response. He didn’t feel the same as her so he would just ignore what she’d said. She started to turn away, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.
“What do you mean, Elizabeth?”
“Are you sure you want to know?” she asked, edging closer to his tall, strong body.
His arms came around her, removing the space between them. “I want to know.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Toby.”
As if she’d lit the fuse to a Roman candle, her world exploded. Toby’s lips covered hers for that long-desired kiss that more than met her expectations. Her body was on fire everywhere they touched, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to be skin to skin, heart to heart. Her fingers found the top snap on his shirt and began unfastening it at once.
His mouth continued to lay waste to any thoughts she could put together. When he finally raised his head, she thought she’d die, as if he provided her oxygen by his lips.
She pulled his head back to her mouth. He’d been kissing her neck, but she needed his mouth on hers. By that time, his chest was exposed to her seeking fingers and she ran her hands over his muscles, the sensation of silky hair beneath her fingers spurring her on.
“Lizzie…” he managed to get out, over the sound of his thundering heart. But she refused to let him start a conversation now. Talk wasn’t what she wanted.
And why had she never known how exciting sex could be? She’d never been with a man who tempted her. But Toby drove her crazy.
She made no demur when Toby began stripping off her shirt. In fact, she did what she could to help him as long as it didn’t keep her from touching him. The sooner they were naked,
the sooner she’d be completely happy. She was totally consumed with the experience. She wanted to be one with Toby for the rest of her life.
TOBY KNEW he was losing control. It had been so long since he’d had any sexual encounters that he wasn’t surprised. But he’d never experienced such surges, such uncontrollable desires.
Something kept nudging his brain, but his body was so in charge at the moment he couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to remember. He wanted Elizabeth naked and beneath him. He’d attack anything or anyone that kept him from reaching that goal. He did remember to move them into an empty stall so they’d have some straw for cushioning and some privacy.
At one point he pulled back. “Lizzie, are you sure?”
When she grabbed his neck to draw him back down, he gave up any attempt to think. All he could do was feel, and it felt like heaven.
There was one other point when he paused, a teaching so emphatic, so drilled in, that he thought of protection. But he loved Elizabeth, had plans for their future, and that precaution was easily dismissed. The force that drove him was so strong, he couldn’t stop.
When he finally got her jeans and panties far enough down her legs that he could enter her, he stopped removing things and turned to seduction. He stroked her and teased her with his fingers. Elizabeth responded with an eagerness that only increased his own ardor. However, when he entered her and felt the initial resistance, he realized what it was that he was supposed to remember.
She was a virgin.
Toby halted. He was about to deflower the love of his life? He was going to hurt her? Her first time would be half-dressed in a horse stall? He tried to pull back, to harness all that power driving him.
“Toby!” Elizabeth almost screamed. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop now. I can’t—I need—”
He did, too. Her cries made it impossible for him to pull back. He plunged past the obstacle and almost ended his dream prematurely. But he tried to take care of Elizabeth, to show her how incredible loving her could be. Slowly he began the age-old rhythm, barely hanging on until he felt her joining in, becoming lost in the sensations. When he felt the beginning of her release, he finally gave in to his own pleasure…and it was monumental.
He lay on top of her, stunned by the flow of happiness, by the sudden exhaustion after such a rapid surge of energy. He wasn’t sure he could move, much less walk.
“Toby?” Elizabeth whispered.
He froze. He expected anger, pain, retribution.
“That was—absolutely incredible. Is it like that all the time?”
He laid his forehead on hers, his eyes closed, and gave thanks he hadn’t disgusted her. Opening his eyes, he stared down at her flushed face. “I can’t tell you that, sweetheart. It’s never been that incredible for me. Until now with you.”
He realized they had a lot to talk about and rolled off her, afraid he would hurt her if he remained on top of her. “Uh, we need to talk,” he muttered as he stood, pulling up his underwear and jeans.
Elizabeth smiled up at him, lying there in disarray, not showing any shame or need for modesty, which pleased Toby. He didn’t want either of those things to ruin her first experience. He was distracted by that thought. He was her only lover. Pride filled him. A ridiculous pride, he told himself, but it was there, like it or not.
He smiled at her and then frowned. She hadn’t begun to cover herself, and his body started to react…again. He couldn’t possibly—but his body was telling him he could. He stepped out of the stall. “Put on your clothes,” he ordered over his shoulder. How could he talk to her when he wanted her so soon again?
And they had to talk. Now. First of all, they wouldn’t be able to talk in the house. The only place would be Elizabeth’s room. And the parents would want to know what was going on. She couldn’t go to the Pad, either. His cousins would be shocked. So the barn was their only opportunity.
The most important decision to make was when they would be married. The sooner the better, especially since he didn’t think he’d be able to work a bed into their courtship and the hay was definitely not his favorite. Too scratchy.
Maybe the mothers could manage a small wedding by the weekend. He stood there in a daze, picturing himself on his honeymoon with Elizabeth, far away from the family he loved. He did love them, but he loved Elizabeth more.
“Toby? What’s wrong?”
The lazy, sated tones she’d used earlier were gone. Elizabeth sounded upset.
He spun around, ready to take her in his arms again, if she was dressed. Undressed, it would be too tempting. To his relief, she was buttoning the last button on her blouse and he reached out for her arms.
“Anyone in here?” a voice boomed from the arena.
Toby’s voice caught in his throat. The timing was exquisite. Five minutes earlier and they’d both have been horribly embarrassed. “Yeah! Back here.”
It sounded like the manager, Jeff Hardy, who’d worked on the ranch most of Toby’s life. Toby took Elizabeth’s arm and pulled her after him, going to the front of the barn.
“Oh, hi, Toby, Elizabeth. I saw the lights on as I was going to the house and thought I’d check,” Jeff said, grinning at them.
“I was working on training Buster, and Elizabeth decided to keep me company,” Toby explained, keeping his voice relaxed “We just finished putting him away.”
“Oh, good, so you’re going back to the house? I have to talk to your dad about one of the men, and I’d like your opinion, too, Toby, if you don’t mind.”
Jeff took his agreement for granted and headed for the door to the barn where the light switches were. Toby had no choice but to follow him, shrugging into his jacket as he went. When he realized Elizabeth was limping rather badly, he stopped.
“Lizzie? Does your ankle hurt more?”
“I can’t—can’t keep up,” she said, her voice breathless.
Jeff stopped, too. “I forgot about your injury, Elizabeth. You shouldn’t have come this far from the house.”
Toby found himself hoping they could let Jeff go ahead and at least settle a few things before he took Elizabeth back. But Jeff had other ideas.
“As soon as we get outside, Toby, we can make a seat between us with our arms and have her back home in no time.”
Jeff opened the door of the barn, then reached back and flicked the switches for all the lights over the arena.
In the dark, Toby dropped a kiss on Elizabeth’s neck and helped her through the dark to the outside. The wind had mostly died down, but it was still cold out there.
“Your coat?” he asked Elizabeth. “Did you forget your coat?”
“Yes, but don’t worry about it. I’ll get it tomorrow, or you can get it. Let’s just hurry to the house,” Elizabeth said.
Toby wanted to protest. Another reason for them to stay by themselves gone away. Jeff offered his arms in the folded position to connect with his and make a seat for Elizabeth.
“We’d better hurry, then, or she’ll be a popsicle,” Jeff teased.
Toby joined his arms with Jeff’s and Elizabeth slid onto their makeshift seat. Feeling her bottom against his arms, her right hand around his neck, didn’t help Toby forget what had just happened in the barn. He hoped he didn’t become too aroused before they reached the house.
Once they reached the back porch, Elizabeth got down and opened the back door.
Several of the parents were having a cup of coffee around the table when they came in. Megan, Elizabeth’s mother, reacted first.
“Elizabeth? I thought you’d gone up to bed. Where have you been?” She leaped to her feet and came to her daughter.
“I went to the barn to watch Toby training Buster. The horse is really doing well,” she added.
“But you could’ve fallen and hurt yourself even more. That was not a wise choice, honey.”
Jake had stood up and acknowledged Jeff’s arrival while Megan was fussing over Elizabeth. When he learned the reason for his visit, he suggested he call all his b
rothers to the office, and then included Toby also.
With Megan and now Anna surrounding her, Toby knew he wasn’t going to get an opportunity to talk to Elizabeth tonight. Nor would he be able to do so in the morning. So it appeared they’d have to try for the barn tomorrow evening. He hoped Elizabeth understood.
She headed for her bedroom, escorted by the women, leaving a lingering look over her shoulder, one that raised his blood pressure again. He remembered his visit the other night, how delectable she’d looked in the bed. He wished he were visiting her tonight. But he couldn’t bed her, here in his father’s house, without having married her.
With a sigh, he followed the men to his father’s office.
An hour later, a decision having been made about the cowboy in question, Jeff excused himself to return to his home. The men stood and began to file out of the office, but Jake stopped Toby. Then he stopped Chad, too.
“We’ll be out in a minute, guys,” he added for Brett and Pete, who stared at them, wondering what was going on.
Toby was afraid he knew. Damn, he wasn’t ready—he felt so guilty for what he’d done tonight. He didn’t want to—
“Toby, did you and Elizabeth talk tonight?” Jake asked after the door had closed.
“Uh,” he stalled and then cleared his throat. “Sort of.”
“What does that mean?” Chad asked, eagerly leaning forward in his chair.
“She cares about me.” That much he could say for sure. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn’t said those words to her. Damn! What did she think? Surely she knew he loved her or he wouldn’t have—didn’t she?
“Toby,” Jake repeated several times to draw him from his thoughts.
“Yes, Dad?”
“I know this is highly personal, but can’t you tell us a little more than that?”
Toby stared at him, panicked. Finally, he blurted out the one thing he’d intended to keep to himself. “It was her first time…and we made love.”
He felt so guilty about her first experience. He should’ve remembered before he— But once she touched him, he’d lost all control.
“You what?” Chad roared.
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