by Jasper Kent
‘And so you came to Russia?’
‘Not straight away. First I had to find out about the ceremony. The Dutchman told me in the end – he told me a lot before I killed him. But he deserved it more than any of them after what he’d done to you. Then I had to find someone to be at the centre of the ceremony; a chosen one, that’s how he described it. There was that bitch you’d shared your blood with – it’s all right, I’ve forgiven you. I thought she’d be the easiest to get hold of. Of course, I didn’t know then that you’d actually be occupying her body.’ Susanna looked at me with a bawdy expression that I’d seen on her face before. ‘Might have been interesting, though.’
I pretended to bridle at the notion, even though I had no idea who the people she spoke of were. She giggled.
‘She was dead by then, though – consumption. She had a son, who’d have done as well, but the father had taken him to Canada and I didn’t know where to start looking for them there. And I knew how you’d always hated the Romanovs, so I thought I’d come here and use one of them.’
‘But you didn’t, not one of the better-known ones anyway.’
‘I knew I’d need help, so I started recruiting other vampires – sharing their blood. And then one of them – Sandor; you’ve met him – told me that a voordalak named Dmitry Alekseevich was looking for vampires for some kind of expedition into Russia – that he himself had been asked to join. Well, you’d talked to me about Dmitry Alekseevich Danilov, and I doubted it could be anyone else, so I kind of tagged along; not with them, always a safe distance away. Dmitry never knew I was there. But Sandor did, and he introduced me to others, and told them of the joy that could come from exchanging blood with another vampire. Soon I was in almost total control, and Dmitry didn’t know a thing. There were only two of them that didn’t succumb, and they never told him about me. They’re both dead now.’
‘But why did you decide to use Danilov instead of one of the more auspicious Romanovs? Why not the tsar himself?’
‘Why take the risk? It was luck that I discovered Danilov was living here in the city, but after that he stood no chance. I persuaded his mistress, Nadya Vadimovna, that I was living as a waif on the streets and got her to take me in. I hadn’t really decided what to do with them, but then I was searching through their things and can you imagine what I found?’
‘What?’
‘Richard’s notebooks. They confirmed that Danilov was who I’d thought, but it was better than that. I don’t know if I’d have succeeded if it hadn’t been for what I learned from those books.’
I managed to conceal a smile. ‘So when was this?’
‘In the spring. I would have acted sooner, but once Nikolai had abdicated, Dmitry moved out into the countryside, taking the others with him. I could have forced them to stay, but I didn’t quite have a hold on all of them yet. And summer was on its way. But by autumn I was ready. We grabbed Danilov and … and you know the rest.’
I sat in silence for a moment, considering what she had said and pondering how Zmyeevich would have responded. In the end my words came from both of us. ‘You are a truly remarkable creature, Susanna.’
She smiled. ‘Anyone could have done it – with the right inspiration.’
I was filled by a thousand regrets. I had been a fool as a child. She had a mind so like my own, and I had not seen it. I had only seen her body, and felt a natural human reaction to that, and been ashamed of it. I thought I’d got rid of her but in truth I had transformed her into the wondrous monster who now sat before me, and whose affections, which should have been mine, were directed at the dead creature whom I pretended to be.
‘You haven’t asked,’ she said.
‘Asked what?’
‘Don’t tease. I know how much it means to you. It wasn’t your blood that brought you to England, and I can’t pretend it was me.’
I understood immediately what she meant. With Zmyeevich dead, it was of little interest, but I knew how obsessed he had been. ‘Ascalon!’ I said. ‘You have it?’
She went over to one of the coffins and opened it. I stood to look, but could see nothing other than the silk lining. She reached inside and found some gap in the material, then she brought it out. She carried it over and showed it to me.
‘I sleep with it every day to remind me of you.’
I took it from her hand, trying to express an awe which I did not feel, though in truth I was not unmoved by the presence of the relic. It was just as I remembered it. The bloodstains were still obvious around its tip. It had only briefly been in my possession. I had discovered it in the tunnels beneath the Armenian Church where it had been placed by the priests to whom Peter the Great had entrusted it. I had taken it to England – and now it was returned to me.
‘I can’t thank you enough. You’ve done more for me than anyone has ever achieved. You have recalled me to life. You have reunited me with Ascalon.’
‘There’s more I could still do for you.’
‘You’ve done more than you need to.’
‘You’re still not … as you were.’
‘Am I not?’
‘You are a human.’
‘Was I not once a human?’
‘But you became more than human. You became a vampire.’ She paused. ‘Let me make you one again.’ She blurted out the last sentence as though ashamed to ask it.
My mind raced. It had been my ultimate goal, but I wasn’t sure I wanted it so quickly. Being human had its advantages and since I could not return to this state once I had abandoned it, I would have liked to savour them. On the other hand, as a human I was quite unable to protect myself. If Susanna were to discover that I was not Zmyeevich, I would be in mortal danger.
‘Now?’ I asked.
‘Why delay?’ She drew in a sharp breath. ‘Unless …’ Her gaze fell to the floor.
‘Unless what?’
‘You said at the bathhouse how your tastes have become once again human. Do you want to indulge them a little longer?’
She was not entirely wrong. I wondered if Zmyeevich would have felt the same as I did. ‘I’ve enjoyed at least one good meal since my return.’
She still didn’t lift her face to look at me. ‘I didn’t mean that. I meant … there are other bodily pleasures that humans enjoy.’ Her eyes met mine. ‘I don’t mind – if you want to.’
I almost laughed, but then I considered the offer. Vampires are quite capable of the sexual act, but they take no pleasure from it. Sometimes it can be useful as an act of seduction, to persuade a human to do something more for them than merely being their dinner. That was true both of males and females. Now, though, I was human again and Susanna was right; I did experience human desires – even if they were the jaded desires of a sixty-year-old man. I licked my lips involuntarily – or had it been Danilov’s will that caused it? It would be a delight, more than a century on, to feel once again the sweet sensation of her body as it engulfed me – to experience just once more what I’d thought I could never know again. That she offered it so willingly made the whole thing a little less appetizing. And there was the rub; however willing she was, she made the offer not to me but to Zmyeevich. At some inevitable point in the future, when she realized who I was, she would also remember this moment. How would she react to it? I realized that I did not care.
I put Ascalon on the floor beside me and then took her hands in mine and leaned towards her, preparing to kiss her. I remembered that day with her in my father’s church, in the Chamber Pew, remembered it in every detail and relished the act, and the anticipation of its re-enactment. Then I had regarded the whole event as sordid, but given the life I had lived since it was one of the purest moments I had ever experienced. And now I had the opportunity to repeat it. I felt a stirring in my body that I had not known for decades and I knew that I would be able to deceive myself, to pretend for a few minutes that we were once again just Richard and Susanna.
But then the truth dawned on me. It was not in my body that I felt those yearn
ings; it was in ours. Whatever joy I was about to experience, Danilov would experience it too. How did I know it wasn’t his desire that made my skin tingle and my mouth dry; his desire that pumped engorging blood into my loins? I would not share the moment – not with him nor with anyone. I had enough with my memories and if I were to share further pleasures with Susanna, they would be pleasures that only we could understand and that would turn Danilov’s stomach. I would take my revenge on him now, immediately, for even daring to think such thoughts about Susanna.
I kissed her lightly on the lips, then pulled away. I saw the look of disappointment on her face, but smiled at her in return. ‘There is only one thing I want from you, Susanna,’ I said. ‘I want to taste your blood and I want to feel the sensation as you drink mine. I want you to make me as you are – to make me once again a vampire.’
It was preposterous of me to feel such happiness at the look of joy that my words brought to her face. She flung her arms around me and hugged me tightly. I returned the embrace.
‘Now?’ she asked.
‘Now.’
She quickly took off her coat and began to unbutton her blouse. ‘You drink first,’ she said, ‘if that’s all right. Take all you want. But not if you don’t – I know it doesn’t taste good to you yet. Then I’ll drink every drop you have.’ She was speaking rapidly, consumed by her excitement. ‘You can lie here. I assume it’ll take weeks as usual; maybe not, a second time. It doesn’t matter. We’ll protect you. Just think about it. In a moment you’ll know my mind. You’ll know how I feel about you.’
I was already beginning to doubt the wisdom of my actions. A new-born vampire and the one who makes him share to some extent their minds. In the moment of my death only I would know hers, but when I reawakened the interplay would be in both directions. She would know who I was and how I had lied to her. But by then I would again be a voordalak and strong enough to defend myself against her, if it came to it.
She was topless now. I remembered the first time she had allowed me to see her breasts – initially as a drawing she had made herself, and then in reality. They were as entrancing as my memories of them. But what she revealed also, more clearly than before, was the bulge of her pregnancy. My child lay within her. I knew that any affection I felt for it was spurious, that it hadn’t even grown as far as being a sentient being, that it was merely an appendage to her body that had lain there for over a century. And yet its very existence gave me some slight hope that when I did reawaken and when she did learn who I really was, she might accept me and allow me to live, out of some affectionate memory of the time we had once spent together.
I knew in my head that the idea was madness, but I felt in my heart – in Danilov’s damned heart – that there was some hope for me. There could only ever be hope for me as a vampire.
‘Give me the razor,’ she said.
I reached into my pocket and handed it to her. She opened it, then after a moment’s consideration returned it to me.
‘You do it,’ she said.
She cupped her left hand under her right breast and pulled it upwards, looking down at her chest beneath. I reached out and drew the blade across at the point she was watching, along the line of her ribs. Blood slithered down from the gash like tears. She took in a sharp breath; it shouldn’t have been very painful, not for a vampire. A look of concentration appeared on her face as she tried to defer the normal rapid process of healing so that I would be able to drink. I’d been unable to stomach the blood of the man at the baths, but I could feel this would be different – and I would only need a little. I knelt down beside her and tilted my head on one side, then I opened my lips and allowed them to descend on to the wound that would be for me a source of sustenance and eternal life.
‘I’m afraid I haven’t told you everything.’
My lips brushed against her pale skin as I spoke and became speckled with blood. I felt as though I had been swimming under water and had now surfaced and was finally able to breathe. It was the longest period I’d known for Iuda’s mind to have sway. Did that indicate he was getting stronger, or was it just a random fluctuation? The only reason that it had ended was the path down which Iuda had been about to embark. Just as he had been able to prevent me from jumping from the roof and killing us both, so it seemed I had been given the chance to draw back from our being transformed into a vampire.
‘You don’t have to tell me anything more than you want to,’ she said.
I moved away from her, sitting back where I had been on the closed coffin and wiping my mouth clean. She pouted exaggeratedly and let her breast fall from her hand. The wound to her chest sealed itself quickly, leaving only a smear of congealing blood.
‘You’ll want to know this. The spirit of Mihail Konstantinovich Danilov was not destroyed when his body was taken over. There are two of us now inside this brain. It alternates between one and the other who gets to speak, who gets to make the decisions. And that just changed. It’s me, Mihail Konstantinovich, talking to you now.’
She looked at me. Twice she opened her mouth as if she were about to speak, then decided against it. A third time she was successful. ‘Why … why are you saying that?’
‘Because it’s true.’
‘You’re teasing me.’
‘Why would I?’
‘How can anyone understand why you do what you do? Please, just forget about it.’ She picked up the razor and offered it to me. ‘Let’s start again.’
‘I first saw you in a courtyard near the Yekaterininsky Canal with Ilya. I thought you were a prostitute. You said that my mistress is called Nadya, but how could I know that our dog is called Polkan and our servant was called Syeva? You killed Syeva and hid his body in the dumb waiter. Need I go on?’
She shook her head meekly.
‘Then get some clothes on, for God’s sake.’ I picked her blouse off the floor and handed it to her. She put it on.
‘Can I speak to him – to Zmyeevich?’
‘He can hear everything you say, but at the moment I’m the one who replies. But that’s the other thing.’
‘What?’
I swallowed hard. It was preposterous to feel pity for a vampire, but her circumstances were not of her making, and the joy she had displayed on being once again with Zmyeevich was all too close to human. Even so, I had to tell her.
‘That other soul that’s in here with me, that you were talking to. It’s not Zmyeevich.’
‘Really? Who, pray, is it then?’
‘You know him as Richard Llywelyn Cain.’
She stood and walked across the alcove. ‘That’s not funny.’
‘How do you think I feel?’
‘And how’s it supposed to have happened?’
‘The blood you used; it wasn’t Zmyeevich’s – it was Cain’s.’
‘How convenient.’
‘Think about it. Where did you find the blood? Cain’s house. Who’d labelled it as Zmyeevich’s? Cain. Who told you it was there in the first place? Ultimately, Cain.’
‘That’s not enough, though, is it? That’s only half of it.’
‘Cain bit me; just before he died.’
She stood in silence for a few moments, but I’d finally got through to her. She came and sat down again. ‘I’ve been a fool,’ she said morosely.
‘Cain’s fooled a lot of people in his time.’
She gave a hollow laugh. ‘Give it up. There’s no Cain. There’s no Zmyeevich. There’s just you. Just Mihail Konstantinovich Danilov, playing me for a prostak.’
‘No.’
‘I shouldn’t be surprised how you found out so much about me. But I have to applaud your performance at the baths; the way you killed and then revelled in our killing.’
The memories came flooding back. I had experienced every moment; felt the blade dragging through the flesh, felt the warm blood flowing over my hand, seen the awful expression on his face. The worst of it was that he had been my old friend from the Japanese War, Colonel Isayev – the
very man who’d first told me that Ilya was dead. He’d died thinking that it was I who had killed him. Others would think it too. If I had been seen there, or at the house on Vasilievskiy Island, or at the Hôtel d’Europe, then I was in trouble.
‘Only a vampire could have done that. You just made the wrong assumption as to which one.’
‘Richard could have done it even before he was a vampire.’
I nodded. ‘I know. I know what he did to you, when you were both young.’
‘How?’
‘I can’t search his memories, but if he recalls something I can perceive it.’
‘So he was remembering me?’
‘As soon as he saw you.’
‘Prove it. Tell me something only he could know.’
‘He fooled you over that before – told you things that both he and Zmyeevich knew.’
‘And that Danilov could not,’ she said contemplatively. ‘You’ll just have to be more precise, then, won’t you?’
‘Did you tell Zmyeevich that Cain was your baby’s father?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did you tell him where it was conceived?’
She thought for a moment. ‘I don’t know; I might have done.’
‘Did you describe the event to him in every detail?’
She fixed her eyes on mine. ‘Go on.’
I had been exaggerating to say ‘every detail’. All I knew were the images that had flashed through Iuda’s mind minutes before when she had offered him her body. But it was a vivid memory. ‘It was in a church,’ I began. ‘Not in the main nave, but in a sort of side chapel. The ceiling was painted white, as were the walls. We were in a cubicle with wooden seats on all sides, but room enough on the floor in the middle. There was a fireplace, but it wasn’t lit. There was an opening looking out on to the main church, with columns, like in a Greek temple. I could see the pulpit beyond. You were on top of me – of him. That’s the part he remembers most vividly. Afterwards you—’
‘That’s enough!’ she shouted. Then quieter, ‘That’s enough.’ There were no tears in her eyes, but beyond that she had every appearance of crying.