Which made Marie realize she was feeling the absence of another member of their family.
Marie hesitated, then decided to let the cat out of the bag. “I hope Peter will be able to attend Lorene’s wedding. They’re so close, it would be a shame if he missed it.”
“So . . . I don’t guess you’ve heard from him?”
“Only one phone call so far.” Her husband had warned her that his time in the alcohol rehabilitation center would be restrictive. But somehow, she’d thought they’d talk more often. She missed him so much. Before he’d left, they’d never been apart more than two nights, when he’d sometimes go with his father to a horse auction. They’d been together so long, she felt his absence acutely, as if she were missing one of her limbs. “I sure hope he calls soon. I wonder why he isn’t writing?”
“Are you worried about him, Marie?”
Once again, Lovina’s voice was so kind, it almost caught her off guard. Lovina had never been one for sympathy, or understanding people’s weaknesses. But ever since it came out that Lovina had grown up English, and that she’d kept it a secret all these years, there was a bit of humility in her that Marie didn’t know what to do with.
Little by little, Marie had lowered the defensive wall she’d erected for self-preservation. It was time to speak the truth—even if it made her vulnerable. “Of course I’m worried. I mean, I don’t want to think the worst, but hardly hearing from him for two weeks . . . my imagination takes control and I start worrying that he’s sick. Or that his drinking problem has gotten worse.”
“I doubt he’s worse. He can’t be getting into any alcohol there. And if he was sick, you would have heard from the center.”
“I suppose. I’m just worried.”
“Why? He is finally getting help. You should be relieved.”
“I’m worried that the center won’t be able to help him,” she admitted, hating to even say the words out loud. “Or I fear that Peter will lie about his progress, that maybe everyone will think he’s cured but he won’t be. Or that it will take even longer than we thought.” She worried about his faith, too. Was he clinging to it, like she was? Or was the program encouraging him to compromise—or to even set aside his beliefs in order to heal?
“I’m sorry,” Marie said. “I sound hateful and selfish, don’t I? I do believe in him. And I do love him. It’s just, well, at night, I find myself wishing for the way things used to be.”
“When he was keeping things from you?”
That was an apt question. Wryly, she said, “I want things to be like I thought they were, like I wanted them to be. I’m sorry, Lovina. I hate to burden you with this.”
Interrupting her thoughts, her mother-in-law spoke again. “You’re not burdening me, Marie. Your worries are justified.” Hesitantly, she added, “I have also thought the same things a time or two.”
So thankful that Lovina wasn’t berating her for not being more positive, she said, “I suppose you don’t know what to think of any of us.”
Lovina laughed. “If you’re thinking that, you would be wrong. I think you’ve been doing the best you can during a challenging time. Your sister-in-law is practically eloping, she’s in a such a rush to get married. Your daughter is engaged and will likely move out of the country, and your husband is in a drug treatment facility. Then, Aaron lets it slip that he was married before. It’s a lot to have on one’s plate, I think.”
The summation of their family’s troubles almost made Marie smile. Almost. “And you didn’t even mention Elsie.” Viola’s twin was the sweetest, most even-tempered daughter you could ask for, in great contrast to her twin. But she’d been diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease when she was but a child. Little by little, her dear daughter was going blind.
“That’s because I’m not worried about her, Marie, and you shouldn’t, either. I feel certain that Elsie will be all right, with the Lord’s help. And we’ll all be there for her, even if the worst happens and she does go blind.”
“I’ll always be there for her. As long as I’m able, that is. Thankfully, Viola and Roman have promised to always look after Elsie, too. . . .”
“What are you talking about? What are you two saying about me?” Elsie said sharply from the doorway.
“Nothing, dear,” Marie replied quickly, but the look of hurt in her daughter’s eyes revealed her fib wasn’t appreciated.
“No, I know what I heard.” Looking from Lovina to Marie, Elsie scowled. “Mamm, you two were talking about taking care of me as if I were a burden. Weren’t you?”
“I was only saying that I want to make sure you always have our help. And you will, maydel,” Marie said weakly.
“I won’t always need your help, Mother. I am not a child.”
Looking at Lovina in a silent request for help, Marie bit her lip. “Of course not,” she said in a rush.
But Elsie wasn’t buying that. “Mamm, I am not helpless.”
“I never said you were.” Because she didn’t know what else to do, Marie found herself snapping at her dear daughter. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Elsie.”
“I’m not. But you need to stop treating me as if my destiny is living at home and being tended to. I will be just fine.”
But how could she be, if she couldn’t see? Marie felt her reply stick in her throat.
“We were only discussing your disease, Elsie,” Lovina interjected smoothly. “And you are fooling yourself if you don’t think your health concerns us all.”
“But I am not blind. Yet,” she blurted, then turned around and walked away. Two minutes later, they heard her close her bedroom door with a decidedly firm click.
Marie shook her head. “Well, I didn’t handle that too well.”
After a moment, Lovina spoke. “Roman has every right to enjoy a few days away from here. If I were him, I’d consider staying in Florida even longer. This family of ours has more problems than a squirrel has nuts.”
Marie thought that was putting it mildly. Feeling tense, she began carefully cutting fabric. Only when the slow whir of the sewing machine started did she feel able to exhale.
When would things ever settle down?
Chapter Four
One of Roman’s favorite things to do in Pinecraft was to watch the older men play shuffleboard. The numerous courts that were scattered around the boardwalks always gave a man someone to compete against, and the congenial conversation that took place around the playing was as entertaining as the game itself.
Usually, men his age played volleyball or basketball, but Roman was partial to the shuffleboard courts. Maybe it was because of his close relationship with his father and grandfather, but whatever the reason, he found he enjoyed watching the older men strategize and joke with each other. And, of course, Roman was always happy to give the men a run for their money when he could.
Walking with his cousins Evan and Jonah, and Beth’s husband, Paul, Roman felt almost like his old self . . . or maybe even a better version of his old self.
The guys were an easygoing lot, and the jokes they passed back and forth made his mood lighten even more.
Especially since at the moment they were teasing Evan, who couldn’t seem to make a choice between the three girls he was halfheartedly dating at the same time. Three!
“It takes a special man to manage three women, Evan,” Paul commented. “I can hardly handle your sister.”
Jonah snorted. “That’s because she’s got two kinner underfoot.”
“That’s not it,” Evan countered. “It’s because Beth was always difficult. Even when she was four, she was demanding.”
Jonah chuckled. “Evan, you’re only saying that because she constantly tattled on you.”
Evan sighed, like he was the most put-upon man in Florida. “That is true. No matter what, Beth always told on us. Even when we practically begged her not to, she went running off to Mamm and Daed and told them everything.”
“You mean threatened to tell them everything,” Jonah murmured. �
�I happen to know of a couple of things that never reached our parents’ ears.”
“Oh, yeah?” A spark of interest lit Evan’s expression. “Like what?”
Jonah grinned Roman’s way. “I’m not telling. We don’t know if we can trust Roman yet.”
“Believe me, I’ve got my own secrets to keep,” he said. Though he kind of didn’t.
But maybe that was his secret? That he’d lived his life so carefully that he had nothing special to keep close to his heart? Twenty-three years of being dutiful and reserved hadn’t brought him much excitement.
Now that he thought about it, it hadn’t brought him a great deal of happiness, either.
“Anyway, Paul, we were mighty glad when you married Beth. You got her out of our hair,” Jonah said. “The haus became much more peaceful when she left.”
Paul grinned. “I’m right fond of Beth, even though she is a stickler for order. But as far as our falling in love? Why, I couldn’t help myself. From the moment I first saw her, she claimed my heart.” He paused. “But even though I’m happily married, I can’t help but be interested in Evan’s, uh . . . love triangle. It’s fun to watch someone else’s exciting love life.”
“I don’t think it’s a triangle if there’s four involved,” Roman pointed out. “Three women, one man.”
Jonah grinned. “It’s more of a love rectangle. Evan, you’re impressive, for sure.”
Evan’s cheeks were now bright red. “Stop; it’s not like that. Well, not that bad! I simply can’t choose. And Carrie, Trisha, and Sally all know about each other.”
Jonah pretended to choke. “Kind of.”
“You’re one to talk, bruder,” Evan retorted, his face still flaming. “You’re hardly seeing any girls.”
“That’s only because you’re dating them all. Save some women for the rest of us.”
That comment, of course, brought forth a whole new round of ribbing and laughter.
Roman joined in a bit, but mainly stayed an observer. At home with his twin sisters, he was often the odd man out. Though he had many friends, it was rare that a group of them would have so much time to simply hang out. At home, chores and duty were his first priorities.
And, of course, he’d chosen to order his life that way.
Now, for the second time that day, he was regretting that. He would have liked to have fostered this kind of relationship with some of the other men in his church community.
Roman was surprised by these thoughts. Maybe it was being away from all that was familiar and his strict routine that made his heart long for more.
Here, in Pinecraft, the sun was shining on his shoulders as they walked along the boardwalk. At home? All he’d felt lately was a miserable, cold wind.
Here, the scent of sand and ocean permeated the air instead of dirt and horse and manure. Here, people were smiling and joking with each other—not complaining about the snow or the crops or the latest family drama.
Here, he felt as if anything was possible. Surrounded by short sleeves and vibrantly colored dresses and blue skies, everything seemed better.
Even the heat coming off the hot cement felt rejuvenating, like he was suddenly alive after sleeping too long in a dark room.
He envied everyone who was fortunate enough to live in such a place for months at a time.
When a group of men their fathers’ ages invited them to play shuffleboard, he jumped right in, but wasn’t too disappointed when he was eliminated after the first round. He enjoyed people-watching as much as anything.
Though most of the people were either Mennonite or Amish, being in Pinecraft had afforded Roman an unusual opportunity to be around men and women from all parts of the country. Many Amish came here for vacation, a way to be away from home but still among their people. The relaxed atmosphere gave him the chance to notice the differences in everything from women’s kapps to men’s hats and dialects.
Evan, Jonah, and Paul seemed to understand his preference to simply observe. When Roman took a seat on a bench and stretched out his legs, none of them seemed to care that he was sitting alone and watching the game.
And then he saw her.
Amanda was walking toward him on the sidewalk, her hand clasped around a little girl’s. Amanda was wearing the same apricot-colored dress that she’d had on that morning. Her daughter’s dress was a more vibrant shade of orange, and the combination of their bright dresses made Roman smile.
As did their expressions. Both were chuckling as they sidestepped the men who were gathered around the shuffleboard courts and the older ladies who’d stopped for a quick chat.
When they moved off the sidewalk to pet someone’s puppy, Roman found himself moving to one side of the bench and craning his neck to see them better.
His focus was probably obvious. Maybe bordering on rude.
But for the life of him, Roman couldn’t find the will to look away. Not even when Amanda glanced in his direction, caught sight of him, and then looked a little apprehensive. Obviously she was finding his unwavering attention more than a little off-putting.
The smart thing to do would be to look away. To turn back to the men he was with. To let her have her space.
But instead, he approached her, just as if his feet had a mind of their own.
“Hi, Amanda,” he said. “I thought that was you.” As if he could have been mistaken.
Politely, Amanda stopped, but she didn’t look all that happy about it. “Gut matin. Again.” She reached for her daughter’s hand again—an unmistakable sign of protectiveness.
He ignored it. “I’m Roman,” he said to her daughter. “I met your mamm this morning on the beach. She said you’ve been playing with my niece, Lindy.”
There, he was no longer a stranger, and had effectively eliminated any opportunity Amanda might have taken to keep them apart.
Looking at him with wide blue eyes, her daughter stared at him warily.
“This is Regina,” Amanda said. “She’s a little shy.”
Roman inwardly chastised himself. He shouldn’t have been so gregarious. “It’s nice to meet you, Regina,” he said softly.
After a few seconds of studying him, she held up the hand Amanda wasn’t holding and displayed a bright blue bandage on one of her fingers. “I have a Band-Aid.”
He bent down so he could examine it more closely. “Indeed you do. What happened?”
Her lips pursed. “I was stung by a bee.”
“Oh my goodness, that hurts.”
Patting Regina’s back, Amanda said, “She was a brave girl.”
After studying Roman again, Regina blurted, “I cried, but I’m okay now.” Then she waved her finger as if to illustrate its good condition. “Mamm put some ice on my finger and wrapped it up.”
He noticed that pink unicorns decorated the bandage. “I like those horses.”
“They’re unicorns, not horses. Unicorns have horns. And they’re pink,” she said solemnly. “They’re not real, but I still like them.”
“Me, too.” He smiled. He liked how protective Amanda was of her daughter, and how Regina continued to carefully study him even as she schooled him on the differences between horses and unicorns.
Straightening, he faced Amanda. “You know, I was just thinking that some ice cream sounded like a good idea. Would you two like to join me?”
Regina’s eyes widened. “Can we, Mamm?” she asked in a loud whisper.
Amanda gave him a chiding look that said exactly what she thought about him offering such an invitation in front of her daughter. “We may,” she finally said.
Roman grinned. “Great, let me just tell these guys that I’m off. Don’t go.”
“We won’t,” Regina said.
As he walked toward his cousins, Roman noticed that his visit with Amanda and her daughter hadn’t gone unnoticed. Evan and Jonah were looking at him with knowing grins.
“What’s going on?” Paul asked.
“I’m going to take Amanda and her daughter out to ice cream.�
��
All three men looked in their direction. Jonah squinted. “Ain’t she our neighbor over at the condo?”
“Yep.” Roman grinned.
Evan took a step forward. “What’s going on? Do you like her?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I just met her.”
Evan brazenly looked at her again. “She’s pretty.”
“Don’t look at her anymore. You already have three women,” Roman quipped. Then couldn’t believe he said such a thing.
Evan held up his hands. “Don’t worry, cousin. She’s all yours . . . if she’ll have you.”
Now he felt awkward. “I don’t have her. Like I said, we just met. We’re merely friends.” And they weren’t even that. Not really.
“Of course,” Evan said, smirking.
Jonah and Paul exchanged knowing looks. “I think it’s a fine day to go get ice cream. Enjoy yourselves. We’ll see you later,” Paul said. “You’ll take the bus back to Siesta Key?”
“Yep, no problem.” The bus ran between the two places regularly.
Roman turned back to Amanda and Regina, half expecting to find that they’d disappeared into the crowd. But there they were, waiting for him to return to their side.
He didn’t want to contemplate why that made him feel so good. But it did.
Chapter Five
“I’m sorry about that,” Roman said as he strode back to Amanda and Regina. “I didn’t want the guys to think I abandoned them.”
Amanda coolly looked at the men who were standing like a klatch of housewives, watching their departure with unabashedly amused expressions. “Is everything all right?” she asked. “They looked a little worried.”
No, they’d looked amused, Roman mentally corrected. “Everything couldn’t be better. They were just giving me grief,” he said lightly. “You know how that is.”
The look she gave him showed that she knew anything but how that was. “Are they all members of your family?”
“Yeah.” Remembering how she’d seemed to like for him to talk a lot, he forced himself to keep talking. “Actually, they’re my cousins. They live in Indiana. I’m vacationing with their family. Oh, and one of the men is Beth’s husband. Beth’s my cousin, too.”
Ray of Light: The Days of Redemption Series, Book Two Page 3