And then I went on reading from this script I had prepared:Three weeks ago, I was asked a politically charged question with a hidden personal agenda. And I answered my question honestly and sincerely from my heart. I was very careful to articulate in saying that I did not want to offend anybody, and say this is how I was raised. This is what I believe a marriage should be.
I stated my honest opinion, and as Mr. Trump said, the President of the United States believes that, as does the Secretary of State and many other Americans.
Immediately after the pageant, Judge Number eight started a cultural firestorm in the media. It went national. He was trying to be self-promoting and hateful, while I have remained silent, until I was honored to be here today. Now I can finally give my side of the story, and address the hateful acts, the false rumors, and the despicable acts that have happened over the last three weeks.
To be standing here today, representing the great state of California, and the greatest country in the world, is by the grace of God.
Being at the center of a media firestorm is not something that I had planned, or signed up for. But the days since have taught me to stand up for what I believe in, regardless of the consequences, personal attacks, or disagreements.
I am a strong woman, and because of that, I am able to be the best Miss California USA I can be. I am excited to continue my duties and represent California.
Let me be clear: I am not an activist. Nor do I have a personal agenda. I was thrown into this firestorm when I was asked the question. I have become an advocate for not redefining marriage based on my own upbringing and beliefs.
While I am not the most vocal proponent of traditional marriage, it seems that because of my singular response I have become the most visible.
I am proud to be an American. I am proud of the freedoms we enjoy because of the brave men and women serving this great country, and who have served. My grandfather served under General Patton in World War II and is someone I admire greatly. He never spoke of the Battle of the Bulge, in which he participated as a rifleman, or the honorary medals that he received. But he did speak of the freedoms that he fought for, and he taught me to never back down, and never let anyone take those freedoms away from you.
On April 19th on that stage I exercised my freedom of speech, and I was punished for doing so. This should not h appen in America. It undermines the constitutional rights that my grandfather fought for.
I publicly forgave Perez Hilton and wished him the best. In the Q&A that came after our statements, Donald Trump was asked if he would have Perez Hilton back as a judge. Too clever to step into a trap, he said he would “love” to have him back as a judge. When asked about his personal view on gay marriage, Donald brushed it off. He simply said that the press conference “isn’t about me.”
When the press conference was over and we were in the elevator, Donald looked me in the eye and said, “Carrie, your speech was genius. I am really impressed!”
That was flattering, but I was even happier that, thanks to his support, this whole nightmare was behind me (or so I hoped), and I could go back to being Miss California, serving the people of my state.
The last thing I had said in our meeting was, “Wow, we really accomplished a lot today.” A day later, I turned twenty-two, and it seemed as if my life had turned a corner. Then I heard that Shanna had given the whole controversy a new life by resigning in protest.
“I cannot with a clear conscience move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth,” she said. “I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams.”
Keith Lewis responded: “Shanna has, and will continue to be, a large part of my life. Although I am sad she has come to this decision, I will always respect the convictions that brought her to this place.”
On Access Hollywood and Larry King Live, Shanna—being the living role model that she is for young women—proceeded to attack me again for my photos. Appearing on Access Hollywood with Keith, Miss USA Pageant judge Alicia Jacobs, and Miss Universe Organization president Paula Shugart, Shanna said she resigned because I was being “rewarded for breaching” my contract. Paula tried to strike a nicer tone when she said that as of the day of the press conference, “it’s a fresh start.” Alicia Jacobs, who earlier had said that she wanted to make me fifty-first runner-up after my answer to Perez Hilton’s question, got in a dig, saying she wished I had been “honest” about the photos.
On Larry King Live, Shanna restated her reasons for resigning. Donald Trump phoned in to the show and put her on the spot.
“I was a little surprised at Shanna,” Donald Trump said.
Shanna visibly stiffened in her chair.
Why was he surprised?
“Because she was in my office, and she seemed as if everything was fine. And she was actually going at it pretty hot and heavy with Carrie”—meaning, in Trump-speak, that we were getting along—“and I was a little bit surprised she would deal with it that way.”
Donald said he didn’t know Shanna that well and was sorry she had handled her disagreement by resigning after making peace. Shanna then responded that in the press conference, I had pointed fingers at everyone else but had never taken responsibility for myself. Of all the vicious, mean, underhanded things Shanna Moakler has said about me—well, this time she had a fair point. I had put myself in a position to be exploited. I had signed myself over to the Miss California Organization. But I was more innocent then than I am now. Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler were not my friends.
“I can’t go back to my state and run a healthy pageant when my contract means nothing,” Shanna said.
After her slam on me—that I had, essentially, poisoned the entire Miss California Organization—a prominent columnist rallied to my defense. It was Ann Coulter—a conservative woman well used to the hostility of the liberal media and its harsh personal attacks. In her inimitable sarcastic style she wrote,First, the Miss USA contest held a press conference to announce that Prejean had breast implants. Take a Christian position in public and Satan’s handmaidens will turn all your secrets into front-page news. Next, a photographer released a single cheesecake photo of Prejean. This prompted liberal reporters who have never met a Christian to proclaim that Christians were outraged by the photo.
Coulter surmised that liberals actually hate women and that the only way for a woman to succeed in the liberal media is to wear the burqa of liberal conformity.
The only way to protect yourself is to do the liberal male’s bidding, as the bubble-head anchorettes do, or stand on the rock of Christianity. Now, another beautiful Christian has thrown off the liberal burqa, thereby inciting mass hysteria throughout the liberal establishment. Prejean doesn’t care. She is blazing across the sky, as impotent nose-pickers jockey for a piece of her reflected light by hurling insults at her.
Funny and encouraging words, but I still wanted to think that all the media attacks and the subversion from the Miss California organization were over; that some sort of normalcy would return to my role; that I could do the job I was crowned to do, which Donald Trump had affirmed that he wanted me to do—with the cooperation of the people who crowned me.
After all, how much worse could it get?
CHAPTER NINE
Fired by Radio
Not surprisingly, I began to feel push-back on the book deal. I guess Keith, who had hastily agreed to allow me to write a book in front of Donald Trump, was experiencing yet another case of buyer’s remorse.
After many telephone calls, my lawyer sent Paula Shugart an email discussing how we could proceed with a book deal and how we could arrange my private speaking engagements. My mom and I actually had lunch with Donald Trump during which we discussed this issue. I told him I w
anted to be able to do speaking arrangements in my private capacity (not as Miss California), and I told him I wanted to write a book. We agreed that what had happened to me was so unusual that it was worth setting down on paper.
After lunch, we went up to Donald Trump’s office, and he asked me what I wanted to happen. I had a written agreement from my lawyer, I said, that I would like him, or at least Keith Lewis, to sign. He said he would, and then he yelled to his secretary to get Paula Shugart on the phone immediately. On speaker phone, he asked her if she had my lawyer’s written agreement regarding speaking engagements and writing a book. She said she did. Donald said, “Make sure you get this thing signed, Paula, okay? Carrie just wants to write her book, she’s not going to say anything bad about the Miss Universe Organization; she just wants to tell her story, and I think that’s okay.” After I left Donald Trump’s office, I called my lawyer and Miles and told them about Donald’s kind words and his promise that he would get the agreement signed.
Donald also went out of his way to help me again. He organized a meeting for me with Star magazine (including meeting its CEO) to clean up the malicious slander that my mother was a lesbian—by far, one of the most humorous attacks, considering my mother is one of the most womanly women I know. He also organized an interview for me with Shape magazine. The editor-in-chief of Shape magazine arranged for me to do an interview with shape.com. I ended up being part of a video called Women Who Shape Our World for their website. It was great. They came to San Diego to film me working out and eating healthy. Later, Keith said I had been in breach of contract by doing the interview with Shape magazine. Either the communication between the Miss Universe Organization and the Miss California Organization was amazingly bad, or Keith was just so desperate to find an excuse to fire me that he grasped at every straw he could find.
With Donald Trump’s assurance that I could do a book, it seemed safe to accept preliminary inquiries from publishers. But before getting a serious bid through an agent, I wanted to have the supplemental clause to my Miss California contract signed, sealed, and delivered. Whether the signature was Donald’s or Keith’s or Paula’s didn’t matter to me, but I wanted to have it done. The organization, however, kept putting it off, so I called Donald and reminded him that Keith had agreed to it, and that I would like to have it signed so we could proceed. Paula got back to me to say that she was still working on it. Though Keith had agreed in principle, I suspect he was the sticking point. I kept hearing that Keith was beside himself, anguishing over what I might write about him. With Shanna now on the outside giving one interview after another, and Keith in a dither about the book deal, the pressure was back on Donald Trump, with him once again having to take time from his business empire to deal with our petty issues.
On June 10, 2009, I drove to an event to raise money to help low-income kids from San Diego’s Barrio Logan neighborhood go to c ollege. As I drove my Jetta, I talked into a speaker phone, being interviewed by Billy Bush on his national radio show. It was from him, an interviewer on live radio, that I learned I had been fired.
“We just found out from Keith Lewis, you know, your executive director there, that it’s official, that they put out a statement that you have been fired.”
I must have driven a hundred feet before I answered.
“Well, that’s the first I’ve heard of that, Billy,” I said, adding that at least that explained why I kept getting otherwise perplexing messages from so many people, but it contradicted my recent improved relationship with the pageant officials. “Everyone had been getting along so well. This is the first I’ve heard of it. I mean, this is funny to me. I have no idea what is going on.”
Later, Billy Bush told Larry King, “I was shocked that she didn’t know. . . . Some people would say maybe you should have contacted Carrie ahead of time and let her know this was coming.”
After the interview was done, I still thought it might have been a joke or a rumor. Surely even Keith wouldn’t buck Donald Trump who had brought us back together and publicly affirmed his faith in me. Moreover, I only had a few more months to go as Miss California. Even if Keith had come to despise me, or even fear me with the possibility of a book deal looming, presumably he could have tolerated me for just a little bit longer. But as my mind raced, I wondered if the Miss California Pageant’s guerrilla war had continued, if they had worked at chipping away at Donald Trump’s support. That frankly wouldn’t have surprised me, because they had certainly seemed obsessed with meting out endless retribution for my answer to Perez Hilton’s question. As soon as I could, I went to a computer and found a press release from K2 Productions, Keith’s company.
I immediately called the Miss Universe Organization to find out what was going on. Right away I knew something was odd. Usually when I called Trump’s office, I would be put through to him right away. This time, his secretary told me he was unavailable.
“What can I help you with?” she asked me.
So I asked her to fill me in.
She said she had no idea that I’d been fired, which made me suspicious. She agreed to make some calls and then get back to me with any information she could find out. When she did call back, all she could do was confirm that I had indeed been fired; she had no further specifics.
The only details, or fabrications, came in Keith Lewis’s press release.
“This was a decision based solely on contract violations,” Keith said in the release. “After our press conference in New York we had hoped we would be able to forge a better working relationship. However, since that time it has become abundantly clear that Carrie has no desire to fulfill her obligations under our contract and work together.”
It was classic Keith, in his more-in-sadness-than-in-anger, passive-aggressive style.
The statement from Donald Trump was a little more stinging.
“I told Carrie she needed to get back to work and honor her contract with the Miss California Organization, and I gave her the opportunity to do so,” he said. “Unfortunately it just doesn’t look like it is going to happen, and I offered Keith my full support in making this decision.”
Tami Farrell immediately stepped forward to claim the sash and crown—and those duties I had allegedly let slip. In fact, my supposed “missed appearances” had suddenly gained so much importance that Miss USA and Miss Universe were both called on to fill in as necessary, as the organization announced to the press.
At no time did anyone point an index finger at me and say, “Carrie, you’re fired.” Instead, I later received a letter from Keith’s lawyer, “Re-Notice of Title Revocation.” It had been given to the media with no advance warning to me or to my attorney. Keith didn’t even have the guts to call me. Predictably, Perez Hilton was all set to crow over this one. “This is too funny!” he chortled in a blog titled, “Dumb Bitch Reacts to Being Fired.” “Former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is pretending not to know she was getting fired yesterday. That’s like a bank robber that doesn’t expect to get arrested! Dumb.”
As Tami Farrell took over as Miss California, Shanna also saw a place for herself.
“First and foremost, my faith has been restored in the Miss Universe Organization and with Donald Trump,” she said. “I believed eventually what I intimately knew would come to fruition.” Intimately? I am sure she did have intimate knowledge that my firing would eventually come to fruition. She had apparently known it ever since I answered “the Question” the wrong way.
Later, Donald was quoted as saying, “Carrie is a beautiful young woman, and I wish her well as she pursues her other interests.” TMZ reported that he also said, “To me, she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else—she treated like s**t.”
Throughout it all, I have never blamed Donald Trump—and I still don’t. Like many CEOs, he has to trust what his people are telling him. And he has to get along with people who are not mere employees, but who have ownership stakes in this part of his media empire.
Nevertheless, it was, of course, a devasta
ting turn of events for me. My reign as Miss California was over. What was supposed to have been a dream come true—the climax of my ambitions as a beauty pageant competitor—had in fact been turned into one long nightmare. Though I know myself to be strong, that nightmare had taken its toll on me. I had lost sleep, been depressed and anxious, and been subjected to more personal abuse than I could have imagined—and through it all, my own pageant officials viciously undercut me, actively worked to betray me, and came to the aid of my enemies at every turn. Now they had dismissed me—wrongfully, not only as regards the facts, but in terms of their motivation, for I was obviously being fired for the expression of my religious beliefs, beliefs that I had not offered gratuitously, but that had been solicited under direct questioning.
Still, as shocked, angry, and depressed as I was at what had happed, there was at least this consolation. Now maybe I could put all this behind me. While I had hoped to do great things as Miss California, to be an active public servant in my role, those hopes had been dashed, and if they weren’t to be fulfilled then it would be a relief to be done with the sashes, the crowns, and all the other stuff that went with being Miss California. I could get back to being my normal, sports-crazy self.
Or so I thought. In fact, I was once again being naïve. My ordeal was far from over. The hate campaign would only intensify.
Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks Page 12