by Iles, Jo
Daniel was unable to restrain himself any longer. ‘How’s the love life then?’ he asked cavalierly, launching headfirst into the topic without so much as a snifter of polite preamble or the barest hint of a warning shot.
‘Excuse me?’ Holly spluttered, choking on her beer, a shocked look on her face. She clearly hadn’t been impressed with Daniel’s clumsy introduction of this new subject.
‘Oh, you heard me,’ Daniel said jovially, summoning up some of his usual self-assured cockiness. ‘How’s it going with… er… what was his name, now? James? Justin?’ From the way he was talking to her, it sounded more like he was down the pub, taking the piss out of one of his male drinking buddies. All he needed now was to slap her on the back to complete the picture.
‘Jake,’ Holly snapped at him, fixing him with a death stare. ‘I see Harry has been a little tattle-tale during your boys-only-bonding session.’
‘Oh, Jake, was it?’ Daniel said, unable to stop himself from teasing her. It seemed to be a defense mechanism, a way to hide how he truly felt about Holly seeing someone romantically—someone other than him, that is.
‘You bloody well know he’s called Jake,’ Holly hissed at him, clearly rattled that she’d been found out.
‘Okay, okay,’ Daniel said, leaning back and raising up his hands in a gesture signifying truce.
‘It’s actually none of your business, Daniel. So, if you don’t mind, just keep your nose out.’
‘Actually, that’s where you’re wrong,’ Daniel began seriously, dropping his voice to signify he meant business. ‘I have the right to know what kind of gigolos you’re bringing into my son’s presence.’
Holly just threw back her head and laughed.
‘You’re being serious, aren’t you?’ she asked, when Daniel didn’t join in her spontaneous outburst. Daniel said nothing. He just watched her closely. Monitoring her.
‘Jesus. You have a colosseum-sized double standard going on here. Have I once ever said anything about your choice of partner being in my son’s presence? No, I bloody well haven’t.’
‘But you already know Miranda,’ Daniel pointed out, trying to sound reasonable. He knew Holly had a point, but the fact remained, he knew nothing about this Jake character and she knew a darn sight more about Miranda.
‘Exactly. And I still don’t like her or trust her with Harry. But who you date, or get married to for that matter, is fundamentally your business, and I would never have the audacity to play the Harry card on you simply because I don’t happen to like the idea of Miranda as Harry’s stepmother,’ Holly said forcefully. ‘Thankfully,’ she continued, ‘Harry’s a pretty good judge of character—and so far, he hasn’t warmed too much to the future Mrs Madison.’
‘No doubt as a result of some active persuasion from his mother,’ Daniel retorted bitterly.
‘How dare you! I haven’t said a thing about her to him… other than when he asked me about why she had such “pointy boobies”,’ Holly added, lowering her voice. ‘I think that’s the only time she ever even came up in conversation.’
‘Ahh, yes. The “cold” comment,’ Daniel said, remembering his earlier conversation with Harry in the car.
‘Yes, cold. As in the opposite of hot,’ Holly said, speaking slowly, as though to an infant.
‘If you say so,’ Daniel said as their lunch arrived, bringing a welcome pause to the steadily increasing pressure of their discussion.
‘He’s a little boy, for Christ’s sake! He hasn’t got a clue what all the various meanings of cold as an adjective are,’ Holly hissed at him once the waitress had departed.
‘Like I said: if you say so,’ Daniel repeated. He knew he was behaving like a juvenile, but he seemed unable to rein it in. Holly seemed to bring out his latent teenager.
‘Harry!’ Holly shouted. ‘Lunch is here!’
‘In a minute!’ Harry shouted back with a huge grin on his face, and began scaling what he referred to as ‘the big boy slide’ for the umpteenth time.
‘No, now. Get your bottom over here this instant and do as you’re told,’ Holly rattled off sharply at him. Harry’s head whipped round and his little face looked like it had been slapped. He looked utterly lost as to what he’d done wrong to warrant such a severe response from his mum.
‘It’ll get cold,’ Holly added, and began cutting up Harry’s food haphazardly. Harry gingerly walked to the table and climbed onto his chair, looking backwards and forwards between his parents for a sign of reassurance. He wasn’t getting anything from his mother, so Daniel gave him a wink, which Holly thankfully didn’t notice. Although not totally reassured, that friendly wink seemed to get Harry to pick up his fork and start attacking his lunch with gusto. Daniel breathed a sigh of relief that the boy knew not to antagonise Holly any further in that moment.
How had this happened? They’d been having a nice time. Daniel had been enjoying himself, until he’d brought up the seemingly touchy subject of love lives. Now it felt like the whole day had descended into an awkward misery as they sat in an uncomfortable silence, chomping away robotically on their food. Harry was clearly ill at ease, and the way Holly stabbed around angrily and skewered the pasta on her plate, it looked like she was imagining poking Daniel’s eyes out. Daniel wanted to take it all back. He wanted to take back his teasing about this Jake character, and revert back to having a nice time. If he thought about things rationally, he knew he’d picked a fight, and he knew Holly was right about him having double standards. But knowing this didn’t make it any easier to accept that Holly was seeing someone. Daniel couldn’t explain why this fact irked him so, but it did. He explained away his feelings to himself as perfectly natural, considering they were still technically married and that this was all still new to him. He just needed some time to adjust, and then he could get back on track with his life. In the meantime, he knew he was going to have to do something he rarely even contemplated, let alone actually performed: Apologise.
‘Holly, I’m sorry,’ Daniel began, uttering what were, to him, alien words. ‘I was out of order before. You’re right, it really is none of my business. I’ve known I was a dad for all of five minutes and I guess I got carried away with my paternal duties.’
‘I’ll say,’ Holly said, rolling her eyes, but at least she had finally spoken.
‘Truce?’ he offered, giving her his most charming smile.
‘Okay,’ she eventually sighed. Holly had never been one to hold a grudge for too long. Some things were still the same.
‘Can I ask you something?’ she asked quietly as they finished up their food. Harry was given permission to return to his playground, although now under strict instructions not to make himself sick.
‘Sure,’ Daniel replied, glad that the atmosphere had lifted.
‘How do you feel about your mother, now that you know that she kept our whereabouts from you?’ She looked at him carefully, clearly measuring his response to her personal question. And as far as Daniel was concerned, it was an incredibly personal question. He paused to reflect what his true feelings were for a moment. If truth be told, it wasn’t a subject he chose to dwell on all that frequently.
‘There’s not much point in hating her, is there?’ he asked rhetorically, half-laughing to himself. ‘What’s done is done. I suppose she had her reasons… and I presume she acted out of love for me and what she thought was the right thing to do, at the time. However misguided her actions were, she was still my mum. Even if I don’t agree with everything she did.’
‘You sound very reasonable about it,’ Holly said. ‘What about Harry? How do you feel about him?’ Holly asked tentatively.
‘All I can do, here on in, is make up for lost time,’ he replied earnestly, meeting her eye. ‘Meeting Harry and spending time with him has confirmed that I want to be in his life. I can’t stand the thought of him growing up thinking that I don’t care, or didn’t want to know him.’ A small smile escaped Holly’s lips. Maybe he was still partially in her bad books, but he could se
e that she was beginning to thaw.
‘More than anything,’ Daniel continued, ‘I feel guilty. I shouldn’t have listened to my mother in the first place. I shouldn’t have given up looking for you. I should have kept on searching. Who knows how things would have panned out if I’d found you sooner?’ He gave Holly a meaningful look. She seemed to colour under the heat of his gaze, and began rummaging around in her handbag. Daniel smiled to himself and felt secretly proud that he could still make her blush. Deciding to save her any further embarrassment, Daniel headed off for the big boy slide to give Harry a run for his money.
* * *
It was already mid-afternoon, and the day was evaporating into thin air as far as Daniel was concerned. They’d all survived the hiccup at lunchtime and were now back to having fun and enjoying being outside on a gorgeous sunny day. Holly had promised Harry a duck-feeding session, so rather than go back to the car and home, they’d gone for a walk down a country lane in search of a pond and, hopefully, some ducks. It was idyllic. A perfect Saturday afternoon with family, giving Daniel a glimpse at what might have been if he had continued his search for Holly and his baby five years earlier.
‘Ducks!’ Harry exclaimed, pointing frantically down from the bridge they were crossing, into a little stream.
‘At last,’ Daniel said, for Harry’s benefit. ‘It feels like we’ve been trekking for absolutely hours.’
‘We have, Daddy. It’s been nine hours since lunch, and I’m starving,’ Harry said, exaggerating just a little.
‘Let’s have a rest down on the bank, then,’ Holly suggested. ‘Maybe I have a snack in my bag somewhere, and I know there’s plenty of bread for the hungry ducks. Unless you have to be getting going?’ Holly asked, looking up at Daniel.
‘Don’t be silly,’ Daniel said, leading the way down the steep path to the bank. Seeing that Harry was struggling with the slope, Daniel scooped him easily under one arm and made short work of it. Daniel was starting to feel like a real dad—a feeling he’d never before contemplated or had any real comprehension of.
Holly sat down on the grass and began rooting through her colossal bag, no doubt in search of sustenance. ‘Here’s the bread,’ she said, handing Harry a plastic bag brim full with chopped-up crusts.
‘Thanks Mum,’ Harry replied, having forgotten his apparent state of starvation. He grabbed the bread and proceeded to throw one small piece at a time, concentrating with all his might. Holly then pulled out three chocolate bars, a bottle of water, and a juice box from her magical bag.
‘You’re like bloody Mary Poppins,’ Daniel said, laughing as he sat down next to her.
‘I’m just a mum,’ Holly replied, smiling at him.
‘Oh, I meant to ask: have you heard from my solicitor yet? Regarding the settlement you asked for?’ Daniel leaned back on his hands.
‘Yes, there was a file on my doormat when I got home yesterday,’ Holly answered.
‘And?’
‘And what?’ Holly said, with a little smile.
‘And… what do you think?’ Daniel asked, playing along with her facetiousness.
‘I’m very pleased. It’s more than I ever thought,’ she answered genuinely. ‘How did you ever get Miranda to agree to it?’
‘She was fine with it. She’s not as bad as you think, you know.’
‘Hmm… I’ll take your word for it, if that’s okay with you,’ she said, stretching and lying back on the grass. Daniel asked himself if that was an invitation to join her. With a couple of beers in him and the glow of the afternoon sun dancing off the water, there was nothing he would have liked more than having a roll around in the grass with Holly. Now she was in a better mood, she looked lovely. The breeze gently ruffled her hair about.
‘Oh, and I got the divorce papers, too,’ she said, not moving or looking over to him. Daniel tried to hear some clue as to her feelings in her voice, but couldn’t. She sounded neutral. Not cold, exactly. Just detached.
‘And?’ Daniel asked, as he gave up his inner quandary and lay down beside her, propped up by his elbows. He was extremely careful not to touch her. He knew that if he did touch her, it would be his undoing.
‘And what?’ Holly asked, repeating their earlier banter, smiling up at the sky.
‘And… what do you think?’ Daniel asked, watching her facial expressions closely.
‘I think it’s sad. It’s all so sad,’ she said, lifting her sunglasses and looking at him. ‘But there you go,’ she added, sounding resigned, replacing her sunglasses.
Daniel unpropped himself from his elbows and lay flat on his back, next to his wife. He slowly felt across the grass for her hand. They lay there, peaceful and contemplative, holding hands and looking up at the sky, until little footsteps came plodding in their direction and a little voice said: ‘Mum, I’m starving.’
‘Alright, Harry,’ Holly half-said, half-sighed as she slowly sat up. ‘Let’s go home.’
Chapter 5
What the hell am I doing? The question kept echoing around Daniel Madison’s mind. He loved Miranda. He was engaged to Miranda. So why in the world was he finding any old excuse to spend time with Holly? And Harry, of course. Maybe that was it. He was keen to spend as much time as possible with his recently discovered son. But, if Daniel was being completely honest with himself, it wasn’t just Harry. Yes, he was growing increasingly fond of the little boy, the more time he spent with him. He was a great kid, and Daniel was really enjoying getting to know him. But it was more than that. It was Holly, too. Or at least the combination of Harry and Holly together. They made a fantastic team. A team that Daniel felt like he wanted to be picked for.
He was humming. Actually humming as he pulled up into his driveway. He’d had a totally unexpected Saturday, but one of the best he’d had in a long, long time.
Despite the enjoyment of the day, Daniel felt utterly confused. One minute he felt Holly was giving him the come-on—turning up at his office in her sexy black outfit—and the next she came across as standoffish, like she had on occasion today. There were moments today where he’d felt her hesitate and deliberately plot a safe course that wouldn’t get either of them into trouble. And then there was this Jake guy. Was it serious? But why did he care? That was perhaps the more pertinent question.
Clearly he wasn’t as happy and satisfied with Miranda as he made himself out to be, if all he was constantly thinking about was Holly’s love life. It was difficult to accept, and made more complicated by the fact that he and Miranda were partners in business as well as in life.
Daniel was in such a self-obsessed daze that he didn’t even notice Miranda’s car parked in the driveway before he entered the house and headed straight through to the kitchen.
‘Caught you,’ Miranda said as Daniel retrieved a beer from the fridge. Daniel automatically jumped, not expecting her to be there.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked.
‘What kind of a welcome is that?’ she asked, smiling as she wiggled herself into his embrace and kissed him fully on the mouth.
‘I thought you were with your family all weekend?’ Daniel asked, feeling disappointed that he would have to share his evening. He had actually been looking forward to being alone with a beer and his football.
‘I couldn’t stand to be away from you, so I thought I’d leave early and surprise you. What have you been up to this morning?’ she asked, weaving her way around him. She took a drink for herself from the fridge.
‘Not much, just popped to lunch with one of the lads,’ Daniel said, taking a swig of his beer so as to avoid him from delivering any giveaway facial expressions.
‘That’s nice,’ she said. She took a sip of her own drink and looked at him.
‘What?’ Daniel asked, feeling self-conscious under her gaze.
‘You look all happy and sunshine-y,’ she replied, narrowing her eyes ever so slightly in that way she always did when she was mildly suspicious.
‘We sat in the beer garden,’ Daniel replied, n
ot happy that she’d noticed. He’d obviously been wearing his inner emotions outwardly.
‘Well, you look delicious,’ she said, smiling seductively at him as she closed the distance between them and placed their drinks on the countertop. She then pulled him by the collar closer to her and began undoing his shirt buttons, looking up at him, clearly with one thing, and one thing alone, on her mind.
‘Why, thank you, Miss Delamonte. You don’t look so bad yourself,’ he replied, noticing her flimsy dress for the first time. She was undressing him, so it was only fair he did the same to her. He slipped a finger between her skin and the straps on both shoulders and nudged them lower, revealing more and more of her evenly tanned skin. There was only one place this was going to end up, and that was the bedroom. Daniel said a silent farewell to his evening of beer and football.
Chapter 6
‘I had a nice day. Thank you,’ Holly said softly as she gently brushed a blade of grass from his shoulder.
‘Me too,’ he said, beaming at her, mirroring her actions and teasing out his own piece of grass from her windswept hair. It felt incredibly intimate. It wasn’t the passionate kiss that he and his body were longing for, but it felt special.
And then he woke up. He woke from the most vivid dream he’d had yet about Holly. He looked across in the dim light of his bedroom and saw Miranda lying there. The bedclothes, down to her waist, revealed her toned, tanned, and very naked back. She was beautiful. She really was. He’d liked having sex with her in the kitchen, he thought—with only a very fleeting nanosecond of a follow-up thought to remind Stephanie to give the worktops an extra good clean. It had been fun. Miranda and Daniel worked. They just did. They were both inherently selfish people who had a mutual understanding between them to accept the selfishness of the other one. They’d found each other at the right moment in their lives, after the breakdown of their prior relationships. And the sex was good. When they had time for it.