She needn’t have concerned herself. He made no mention of it. He was probably regretting it and had decided to act as if it had never happened.
When they’d finished eating, Ryan got to his feet and said, ‘I usually have a quick chat with Mollie in the lunch hour to check that the children got off to school all right, so will you excuse me? They were chattering non-stop about yesterday at breakfast-time.’
Before she could ask what part of the day before he was referring to, he was wending his way towards the restaurant exit.
He was an exceptional man. Strong and caring when it came to those he loved, and professionally a doctor of complete dedication to his calling. When she compared him to the man she’d been going to marry she felt grateful now instead of bitter that David had called off their engagement. It was all because of the man who’d taken her under his wing when she’d come crawling to Heatherdale like a lost soul.
She still had no idea what Ryan really thought about her, of course. However delightful he was to work with, nothing had changed back at the town houses where they lived. When he came home from the hospital each night she didn’t see him until the following morning and so she had to be satisfied with that. However, she did wish she had the chance to see the children more often, even if their father was still guarding his private life just as much as before.
* * *
On the Saturday of her second week on the neuro unit, Melissa planned to visit Julian at the hospital where he was recovering. It was against the vow she’d made never to return to Manchester, but she felt so sorry that Julian’s career and future had been put at risk by such a dreadful accident that the least she could do was take him some magazines, nice things to eat, and give him a few hours of her time.
She was undecided whether to tell Ryan what she was intending, or just proceed with her arrangements. In the end decided to just go and tell him afterwards.
‘Wow!’ Julian said when he saw Melissa approaching his bedside and to his parents who were present.
‘This is a surprise! Mum, Dad, may I introduce Melissa? She’s a doctor on my neuro unit.’
They smiled across at her.
‘So, how are you coping without my charm and expertise?’ he teased.
She had to smile at the question. Only Julian would be so chirpy while flat on his back with a spinal injury.
‘Everyone is hoping that it won’t be long before you are back amongst us.’
She could hear footsteps on the polished floor behind her and children’s voices, and when Julian exclaimed, ‘Look who’s here now!’ she turned slowly and saw Ryan coming towards them with Rhianna and Martha in tow.
When the children saw her they ran to her side, and Martha asked, ‘How did you know we were coming?’
‘I didn’t,’ she told her gently, ‘but it’s a lovely surprise.’
‘We knocked on your door to ask you if you wanted to come with us,’ Rhianna explained, ‘but you weren’t there. Why are you never there when we want you, Melissa?’
Ryan was chatting to Julian after greeting his parents and wasn’t a part of her conversation with the children, but Melissa knew he’d heard what Rhianna had said, although he was still smiling at the chirpy patient on the bed.
‘I’m hungry, Melissa,’ Martha said pleadingly, taking Melissa’s hand.
‘I’ll take them to the snack bar near the main entrance for something to eat while you talk to Julian,’ she told Ryan. ‘And I promise not to lose them,’ she teased gently. Before he had time to reply they were off with smiles from her two young companions and a level look in her direction from their father.
* * *
As Ryan watched Melissa and the girls walk away, he was filled with mixed emotions. On the one hand, it was heart-warming to see how easily and openly his girls responded to her. On the other, it made him feel things he wasn’t yet ready to feel. Was he attracted to her? He thought he probably was, but was he ready to do anything about that attraction? And what about letting the girls get too close? He was on dangerous ground.
‘So where are you off to when you leave here?’ Julian asked, breaking into his thoughts. His parents had gone to do some shopping while he had someone to talk to and Ryan brought his thoughts back to the present as Julian continued to chat.
‘They tell me that the Christmas lights are on everywhere in the city centre and that there are Father Christmases appearing in all the big stores. Your children will want to visit him, won’t they?’
‘Yes, I’m sure they will,’ he agreed. ‘I hope that you will soon be mobile again, Julian. If our hospital wasn’t just for children, we could have had you recovering in Heatherdale.’
‘I’ll do my best,’ he promised. ‘Besides, you’ll be all right with Melissa filling my slot. How lucky can you get?’
Ryan’s smile was twisted. ‘I don’t know. It’s debatable.’
Melissa’s appearance in his life had brought chaos rather than tranquillity into the ordered existence that was the only way he could survive his many responsibilities of family and work. But at night, in the darkness, in his lonely bedroom, when all the house was still, visions of her came to mind.
The long dark mane of her hair, the mouth that was never anything but tender when she was with his children, but buttoned up if he ever tried to get to know her better, and the dark hazel eyes that were full of hurt and loneliness.
She was in his line of vision at the top of the ward, bringing the children back from the snack bar, and as he was going to take Rhianna and Martha to see Santa Claus in one of the big stores it seemed only fitting that he should invite her to go with them rather than let Melissa make the train journey home on her own.
‘Do you want to come with us to tell Santa Claus what you want for Christmas?’ he asked her as the three of them drew level.
Julian had just been taken for a scan and as Melissa surveyed the empty bed she had a question of her own. ‘Where’s Julian?’ she asked anxiously.
‘Gone for a scan. He said to pass on his goodbyes,’ he replied laconically. So much for his invitation. Could it possibly be that Melissa was attracted in another direction?
Melissa smiled, the moment of anxiety past. ‘Yes, I’d love to see Santa.’ There were a few things she would like for her first Christmas in Heatherdale, top of the list a better understanding with her independent neighbour.
As they left the hospital, Ryan’s thoughts were running on a different track. He was remembering that Mollie wouldn’t be around to cook the Christmas dinner for them as she usually did. She and Jack were getting married on the morning of Christmas Eve and they were off to Italy later in the day for their honeymoon. He was going to have to polish up his cooking skills.
He was still doubtful about asking Melissa to share the most festive day of the year with them as he knew she would pick up on his sadness and see his tension. Yet for all he knew she might have plans of her own on how to spend the day. Although she hadn’t exactly been bubbling with joy when Christmas had first been mentioned. But spending it in a house that had only one presentable room was not a tempting prospect.
* * *
They found a jovial Santa in the first of the big stores that they came to amongst the busy city throng. Excitedly, Rhianna couldn’t wait to tell him exactly what she wanted this Christmas.
‘There are lots of things we would like,’ she told him, ‘but most of all we want a mummy.’
Santa’s white brows lifted. It was obvious he wasn’t too sure how to react to that one!
‘Why don’t you make a list and send it to me?’ he said. ‘One of my fairies will give you my address.’
Rhianna seemed satisfied with that and the small party made their way from the store.
‘I’m sorry that you had to be involved in yet another awkward moment,’ Ryan said. His tone was casual, as if it had been something and nothing.
Melissa was unaware that, inside, Ryan was cringing at another plea from his children for someone to tak
e Beth’s place. She smiled.
‘Think nothing of it,’ she told him. ‘What the children are asking for is quite understandable, but anyone can see how well cared for and happy they are. You are a man in a million.’
‘Most folks think I’m a fool,’ he replied dryly. ‘Struggling on alone.’
She was the fool for imagining that one day he might turn to her.
They worked together, doing what they’d been trained for, and it was a joy. They lived next door to each other, and if they weren’t always communicating under those circumstances she was always conscious of his nearness.
Any imaginings of what it might be like to have him beside her in the night were kept under control. Ryan was a man who was travelling along a road of his own making and didn’t want company on the way. What about herself? Hadn’t she vowed to steer clear of the opposite sex too?
* * *
Unaware of Melissa’s thoughts, Ryan was wishing that those few moments in the store when Rhianna had turned a happy occasion into a depressing one had never happened, but as they had the atmosphere between Melissa and himself needed lightening.
‘Shall we go for a meal before we go for the train, somewhere bright and festive?’
‘That would be lovely,’ she replied. Her glance held his for a precious moment and he smiled.
‘Let’s go, then,’ he said briskly, and with Martha holding Melissa’s hand tightly amongst the crowds, and Rhianna clinging to her father, they went to find a place to eat.
‘You know the city better than I do, so you choose,’ he suggested as they moved along. ‘How far are we from where you used to live?’ He saw the brightness fade from her face.
‘Not far enough,’ she replied flatly, and pointed to a restaurant that had an attractive menu displayed. ‘I think that your young ones will like this place.’
So much for Melissa telling him anything about herself that he didn’t already know. Yet why should she tell him about her life before Heatherdale if she didn’t want to? It didn’t make him feel any less curious.
‘Melissa!’ a voice exclaimed from nearby. ‘I’ve been wondering where you’d got to.’ When Ryan looked up he saw an expensively dressed older woman looking down at them.
‘And now you know,’ Melissa replied coolly. ‘How are you, Monica?’
‘Er, I’m fine, busy getting ready for David’s big day. It’s going to be the wedding of the year in our set.’ The other woman’s glance went over Ryan and the girls. ‘I see you haven’t been moping.’
‘Dr Ferguson is my boss, and these are his children.’
‘Ah. I see,’ Monica said with a meaningful smile that belied the words.
‘I don’t think you do,’ Melissa told her. Her face was drained of colour but she remained totally calm.
Ryan was curious about the identity of this woman who was interrupting their meal. She was going, thank goodness!
‘It has been nice to meet you, Dr...er... And what lovely children.’
Uninterested, Rhianna and Martha tucked into the food that had just arrived, but as the other woman floated off, Melissa’s calm deserted her and she bent her head as a flood of painful memories came back of the weeks and months before she’d moved to Heatherdale.
As he watched her Ryan felt like following that Monica woman and throttling her. He didn’t know who she was to Melissa, but it was clear that she was bad news as far as she was concerned.
‘I wouldn’t mind knowing who that was,’ he said gently, and this time Melissa didn’t hesitate to reply.
‘She was going to be my mother-in-law until her son broke off our engagement.’
‘Of course, I remember you telling me that you were escaping a broken engagement. I hope you don’t think that all men are that shallow, Melissa? He obviously didn’t deserve you.’
‘No, of course I don’t think that.’ she said quickly. ‘It’s very kind of you to take my side so readily.’
If she didn’t feel that the new rapport that the day had brought between them might be spoilt, she would have told him that if she had felt like that, getting to know him would have made her think again. She couldn’t help but admire the choices he’d made when he’d lost his wife, and she was deeply moved by his gentleness with sick children. She felt privileged to know him.
They finished their meal quickly, the girls’ excited chatter filling any potentially uncomfortable silences between Melissa and Ryan.
On the train journey home the two of them were again silent, but the children continued to make up for it. Used to being in the car, the novelty of a journey by train or bus caused great excitement and Melissa had to smile.
She’d been brought up with expensive cars and still used that form of transport, but now it was a small second-hand car. Where at first it had been a wrench to see them go, now it didn’t seem to matter as long as she arrived at her destination.
She would have liked to invite the three of them in for some supper when they arrived back in Heatherdale, basic as her accommodation was, but she knew if Ryan came up with a reason not to accept the invitation it would take the edge off the brief closeness.
As they parked their respective cars and approached their own doors, Ryan was reluctant for the day to end.
‘Would you like to come in for a coffee?’
‘Are you sure?’ she asked in surprise. ‘I’d considered asking you the same thing but didn’t want to cause embarrassment if you refused for some reason.’
He wasn’t sure, far from it! As she’d walked along level with him he’d watched the dark swathe of her hair swing gently against her shoulders and had wanted to hold her close, tell her that she had no need to be so alone any more.
If she needed someone he would be there, next door, ready to help. Yet would he be able to fulfil that promise on a purely friendly basis and not begin to want more? If he had any sense he would let Melissa get on with her own life now that she was settled here and was no longer unemployed. He should take a back seat and take pleasure from working with her.
She was excellent at her job, quick to learn, efficient in every aspect of paediatrics, and their young patients responded well to her, without alarm, but he hadn’t answered her question.
He could tell her glibly that, yes, he was sure, because he didn’t want the day to end just yet. Their relationship had moved on, he’d felt it in every word she’d said, in her every movement, but he wasn’t sure that he was ready to let Beth be just a beautiful memory, instead of keeping to the vows he’d made on the day she’d been lowered gently into a grave in the churchyard.
Melissa watched him, wondering when his thoughts were going to come back from where they’d gone. He’d opened the front door to let the children into the house and for what seemed like an eternity she’d been waiting for him to say something as she had a strong feeling that he was regretting his impulsive invitation.
Sure enough, he turned to face her.
‘Maybe we should call it a day, Melissa. The children are usually tucked up in bed by this time. But I want you to know that if ever you have a problem I’ll always be only too pleased to help if needed.’
‘I can cope, Ryan,’ she told him levelly. ‘The past few months have taught me a lot about myself and I feel stronger than ever. I’m hoping that most of my problems will be over once I’ve got the house how I want it. So please don’t feel that you need to increase your commitments by adding me to the list.’
On that comment she opened her own door and went inside, and as he watched it close behind her Ryan’s heart sank. What was he playing at? He’d invited her to have coffee and then gone back on it, and had been extremely patronising with his offer of help.
He was the one in need, content on the outside unhappy on the inside. Mollie had ventured to tell him a few times that Beth would not want him to live like this and he’d just ignored her advice and let it pass.
But on those occasions he hadn’t known that there was such a person as Melissa Redmond and now
he did. Not only was she one of the best registrars he’d ever worked with, she was his neighbour. Were the fates telling him something? Not if they knew that once he made up his mind regarding something important he rarely changed it!
CHAPTER SIX
IT WAS SUNDAY again. This was the day that Melissa always felt was long and empty. Well, not empty—she had plenty of chores she could get to. Still, her life did feel empty of family and friends because there was no one to phone her, or come to her door, except Ryan, of course, and after her cool reception of his change of mind the night before she wasn’t expecting that. Part of her was almost dreading seeing him at work in the morning, too.
What had he expected her to do once the children had fallen asleep and they had been alone? Strip off and do the dance of the seven veils? One thing was sure, he would be keeping a low profile today after her chilly acceptance of his speedy change of mind.
She was wrong. He phoned at midday.
‘Have you ever done any knitting, Melissa?’
‘Not since I was about twelve,’ she informed him. ‘Why do you ask? Are you short of something to do in your spare time?’
‘Hardly! Explain to me, what is spare time?’
‘I’ve heard it described as the time you wish you had but never get. So tell me more about the knitting.’
‘Rhianna wants to knit her doll a wetsuit. But first she has to learn how to knit.’
‘Has she got a pattern, wool, and needles?’
‘Er...no.’
‘Right, so if you will entrust her to me, the two of us will go to the shops today and sort that out, if any of those kinds of places are open on a Sunday.’
‘No problem regarding that,’ he told her. ‘Heatherdale is a popular tourist centre. They come from miles around to see the spa, the well and the rest. Sunday is one of the busiest days for the shops, but are you sure you can spare the time to take Rhianna for the wool and stuff?’
Christmas Magic in Heatherdale Page 7