In keeping with the frosty winter morning she was wearing a designer winter coat, elegant knee-high boots with high heels, and on her head was a fake fur hat the same colour as the coat. She wondered if the interest she was arousing in passersby was due to Ryan being seen with a woman, and an expensively dressed one at that.
Those observing them couldn’t be expected to know that she had a wardrobe full of expensive clothes in a house that was like something out of the Dark Ages except for one room. Before leaving it, she’d stood in front of the mirror in the dressing table that had been one of the few things she’d managed to salvage from the onslaught of the bailiffs, and thought that if she sold some of her clothes, the money would buy wallpaper and paint.
Ryan had also noticed the stares and buzz of interest they were causing and suggested they go down the next side turning, but she shook her head and told him she was fine. She wished it was true.
While they drank coffee and the children sipped hot fruit drinks, Melissa and Ryan were silent. The girls, unaware of any tension in the atmosphere, chatted happily about their role in the upcoming wedding and Rhianna asked, ‘Will you help us to get dressed that morning, Melissa?’
‘Er, yes, of course I will, if you want me to,’ she answered, somewhat dazed at the way she was being involved in their lives once more. She wasn’t sure how Ryan would feel about her stepping into the mother role once again, so having offered to do as Rhianna had asked she needed to know what his opinion was.
‘Would that be all right with you? I don’t want to intrude on such a special day.’
‘Of course. I would be greatly obliged if you would help the girls to get dressed, but only if you come to the wedding as my guest.’
‘All right, I’ll come!’ she said levelly. ‘Are you sure you want me at the wedding as your guest, though? It always feels like treading on eggshells when we are together outside the hospital. When we’re there it’s so different, more like being on safe ground.
‘I’ve got to go, Ryan. I’ll come for the children at the arranged time this afternoon.’ And after kissing them both lightly on the cheek, she left the café.
Ryan sighed. Melissa had kisses in plenty for his children, but no tender gestures came his way.
They worked together as if they were joined at the hip, but once away from Heatherdale Children’s Hospital the spark that he’d thought was there never seemed to burst into flame. She was right to point out that things were far from easy between them outside work.
Her outfit today had been stunning but he’d hesitated to tell her so as he seemed to have developed a talent for saying the wrong thing where Melissa was concerned. His mind went back to the night when she’d opened the door of the cold, grim house next door to his, looking on the point of collapse, and had burst into tears. He hadn’t known in those few seconds that his life was about to change. It was something he was finding hard to accept and until he did there would be no peace in him.
Now that Melissa had gone, the children were fidgeting, ready to go. He paid for the drinks and they set off in the same direction as Melissa. He was hoping they might draw level with her, but she was nowhere to be seen and he wondered how she could move so fast on those heels.
* * *
Melissa enjoyed the afternoon spent with Mollie and the children immensely.
Melissa liked Ryan’s middle-aged housekeeper and had not forgotten how she had suggested to him that they invite her to eat with them in her distressed state on that dreadful night when she’d been so much out on a limb she’d been on the verge of collapse.
It was easy to see that the children were fond of her, which was not surprising with Mollie being the only womanly figure in their lives.
As they walked the short distance to the high street she wasn’t surprised when Mollie said, ‘Rhianna and Martha are staying at my house tonight. They have a sleepover every few weeks. We have a lovely time and as it’s always on a Saturday night there is no rush to get them to school the next morning. It gives Ryan a few hours of freedom to do whatever he pleases, which is rarely connected with socialising, I’m afraid.
‘Before he lost Beth they had lots of friends and a lovely social life. During the first twelve months after she was gone there were some of the unmarried women that they knew who would willingly have stepped into her place if he’d asked them, but there was nothing further from his mind, and as far as I can see there still isn’t.’
They had stopped outside a small but select department store and while Melissa would have liked Mollie to carry on talking about Ryan for ever, the older woman’s thoughts had switched to dresses for her attendants.
‘They have a delightful children’s clothes section in this place, shall we see what is on show?’
A display of pretty long dresses in pastel colours, obviously aimed at Christmas partying for the young, immediately attracted the attention of all four of them. And after some degree of trying on, the small attendants-to-be were fitted out with dresses in a soft turquoise fabric with matching under-slips to help keep out the cold.
As they left the store Mollie asked, ‘What do you think they should carry, Melissa, posies?’
‘What about if they keep their hands tucked into little furry white muffs decorated with snowdrops?’ she suggested.
The bride-to-be was smiling. ‘Yes, indeed. They will keep their hands warm.’
‘And what are you going to wear?’ Melissa asked.
‘I’ve bought a lovely dress and jacket in apricot silk.’ Mollie’s face took on a dreamy expression. ‘And I’m delighted to say that Ryan is going to give me away. It won’t be an easy day for him, with Beth not being there beside him, but I’ve invited him to bring a friend.’
‘Yes, he’s asked me to fill the gap.’
‘That is good news! And are you going to?’
‘Er, yes. I think so,’ she replied. Mollie might not be so pleased if she knew the circumstances of her agreeing to be his partner for the occasion.
When they’d completed their shopping by buying soft white satin shoes for the children, Mollie said, ‘Would you mind dropping off what we’ve bought at Ryan’s house so that I can take the girls straight to my place?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Melissa said, and as the three of them set off in the opposite direction she heard Martha say, ‘Melissa is going to help us get dressed for your wedding, Mollie.’
And Rhianna chipped in with, ‘She’s going to make us beautiful.’
Melissa considered Ryan’s daughters beautiful already. With a slightly aching heart she set off to deliver the afternoon’s shopping into their father’s keeping.
CHAPTER SEVEN
WHEN HE OPENED the door to her Ryan stepped forward to take the shopping from her and then stood back to allow her to pass.
Noticing Melissa hesitate, he said, ‘I’ve just finished catching up on a back log of paperwork from the hospital and am about to relax over a mug of tea. Can I persuade you to join me?’
She stepped inside, knowing that she wouldn’t have refused the invitation if it had been a mug of castor oil he was offering.
He saw she was wearing the same outdoor clothes as she had that morning.
‘Can I take your coat and your hat?’
Melissa nodded, and he stepped forward and slid the coat off her shoulders with one hand, gently removed her hat with the other and hung them carefully on a nearby coat hook.
She had become very still while he was taking off her hat and coat and when their glances held the dormant spark suddenly became a flame and instead of ushering her into the sitting room he led her slowly upstairs into his bedroom. As they faced each other beside the bed, which to him was the loneliest place on earth, she still hadn’t spoken.
‘Say something, do something, Melissa, please,’ he said softly. ‘Show me that you want me as much as I want you, or we’ll let this moment pass.’
As he waited to see what she would do, Melissa began to take off her clothes, and as t
he dress that she’d been wearing beneath the coat slid to the floor and flimsy underwear and tights followed, she was smiling.
When she stood before him naked she spoke for the first time. ‘Now you show me,’ she said softly.
Without a second asking he stripped off and lifted Melissa onto the bed. His mouth caressed hers and the soft stem of her neck before dropping to the firm mounds of her breasts. She gave herself to him in a huge wave of wantonness, crying out as longing was appeased and delight filled her being.
But as she lay content in Ryan’s arms afterwards Melissa realised that he hadn’t spoken since he’d asked her to show him that she wanted him to make love to her. Raising herself up on to one elbow, she looked down at him and saw that his expression was no longer that of the man who had just possessed her, adored her and made her feel wanted. It was as if he’d pulled down the shutters.
‘Ryan, what’s wrong?’ she asked with deadly calm. ‘Clearly what has just happened between us didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me.’
He didn’t deny it and it was like a knife in her heart. Instead, he put her away from him gently.
‘I am so sorry, Melissa. I would never willingly hurt you. I let my guard down, sought solace from you, and should not have done. It was unforgivable. When Beth was taken from me I chose a path to follow and have never diverted from it until a few moments ago. I hope you understand.’
She understood all right. What had made her think that the magic of Heatherdale had brought the man she would love for ever into her life when he had his own agenda? Was this how Ryan coped, a brief liaison with some willing member of her sex when the strain got to be too much, and then back to the life he had chosen?
The thought brought with it the urge to be gone, back to the house of horrors next door. It propelled her to her feet and in a matter of seconds she was dressed again in the clothes she had shed so willingly. Ryan made no protest, just threw on a robe and left her to it.
When she went down the curving staircase he was waiting in the hall, and lifting her coat and the fur hat off the hook where he had hung them she walked past him and out into the winter dark.
* * *
If it wasn’t for her commitment to the sick children who came into their care at the hospital and the fact that she had nowhere else to go, she would be gone. Melissa drew the curtains to shut out the night of her humiliation.
She’d convinced herself that she understood Ryan’s loyalty to the memory of his dead wife, even though it did seem an awful waste of another life...his. But tonight he’d taken the first step towards letting the memories be just that, and as he’d made love to her she’d rejoiced at the thought, until she’d looked down at him amongst the tangled sheets of his bed, seen the look on his face, and thought she should have known better.
After a miserable night she slept late on Sunday morning. She was brought out of sleep by the bedside phone ringing. She hoped it wasn’t Ryan. He was the last person she wanted to speak to.
It wasn’t, but the call was from next door. It was Rhianna to say that Mollie had brought them back home. They wanted to try on their dresses and the rest of their outfits to show their father, so would she come and help them to dress up for him?
She’d been finding a glimmer of comfort in the thought that she would have today to gather her wits before facing him on Monday morning, but the children were unwittingly turning that into a vain hope as there was no way she would refuse their plea.
‘I’ll come round in twenty minutes, Rhianna.’
After showering and dressing quickly, she skipped breakfast until later and went next door. Thankfully it was Martha who answered her knock.
‘Daddy is under the shower and says he will wait until we are ready before coming down.’
Was that because he wanted to get the full effect of their outfits or because he was in no rush to see her again so soon? If that was the case, he need have no worries. If it hadn’t been for the affection she had for his children he wouldn’t have seen a blink of her today.
They looked delightful in the long turquoise dresses with their hands inside the pretty muffs and their feet in the satin pumps, and when Rhianna called up to Ryan from the hall that they were ready, Melissa felt her mouth go dry.
The children were standing at the bottom of the curving staircase as Melissa hovered near the front door. The longing to open it and be gone was strong, but the two small girls wanted her there and there she was going to stay no matter what, until he’d seen them dressed how they would be at the wedding.
He came slowly down the stairs towards them and she swallowed hard. Her mouth felt dry, her body weak and wilting at the sight of him with the golden thatch of his hair damp against his head from the shower and the rest of him covered by a cotton shirt and shorts. Though dry-mouthed and weak at the knees, beneath it she was in control. Last night had been humiliation time once again and she’d walked right into it, but it was not going to happen again.
On the third step from the bottom, Ryan paused and, observing her standing behind the children, stony-faced said, ‘Thanks for finding the time to assist in the dressing-up parade, Melissa, they needed your help.’
‘Think nothing of it,’ she said levelly. ‘It’s nice to know that I’m needed by someone.’ She placed her arms around their shoulders. ‘We have two pretty bridesmaids waiting to hear what you have to say about their outfits.’
He was smiling as he came down the last steps of the staircase, giving no sign of having got the message in her first comment.
‘The two of you are always beautiful to me, but in these lovely dresses, with the sweet little muffs to keep your hands warm, and the dainty shoes on your feet, you will be more beautiful than ever. What do you say to Melissa for helping you to choose them and dress up in them this morning?’
‘Thank you,’ they chorused, and hugged her close, then went slowly up the stairs to take off their finery.
When they’d gone Ryan said, ‘I imagine that coming here this morning was the last thing you wanted to do.’
‘Yes, it was,’ she told him, ‘and now I’m going to go and have some breakfast. I won’t be available for the rest of the day.’
‘Of course,’ he said, and after waving to the children, who were looking down at them from the upstairs landing, she left, without another look in his direction.
* * *
The thought of spending her working day doing the job she loved had always been a pleasure to contemplate each morning as she drove the short distance to the hospital, and with Ryan nearby most of the time on the wards and in surgery it had been blissful, but not so on the Monday morning after the events of the weekend. Melissa was dreading being in his presence for any length of time.
But any awkwardness between them was avoided when she arrived because, amazingly, Julian was back in circulation, still as darkly attractive as ever but thinner, looking drawn and on crutches. She came across the two men chatting beside their cars in the staff parking area.
When Julian saw her he leant against his car and waved a crutch in her direction and she went to join them.
‘This is a very pleasant surprise. It’s lovely to see you. Are you just visiting, or here to take up where you left off?’
‘Just visiting today,’ he said breezily, with his usual aplomb, ‘but I’m hoping to come back on a part-time arrangement soon. The spinal unit in Manchester have worked wonders for me. The boss says he’ll have me back whenever, so we will be a happy threesome once more.’
Melissa very much doubted it!
‘When I’m back in harness, maybe we could have a night out together, the three of us,’ Julian continued.
Melissa just smiled and didn’t let it falter when Ryan spoke for the first time to comment, ‘It would have to be a twosome, I’m afraid. All my time away from here is spoken for.’
On that downbeat comment he turned in the direction of the nearest entrance to the hospital and they followed him inside. Melissa took
care to stay level with Julian’s slow progress on his crutches and vowed that Ryan was not going to dampen her spirits or Julian’s on his totally unexpected appearance.
He didn’t stay long, just enough to say hello to everyone, and when the night shift were ready to go and day staff about to take over she walked with him to his car. On the way he stopped and, leaning forward between his supports, kissed her lingeringly while they were opposite the window of Ryan’s office.
Taken aback, she didn’t push him away, just told him laughingly, ‘It’s clear that your cheek wasn’t affected in the accident. You will be getting me the sack.’
‘That was for the benefit of a mutual friend of ours,’ he said, serious for once, ‘as I guess that nothing of that nature has been happening in those quarters while I’ve been away.’
‘The answer is yes and no,’ she told him, ‘but how did you pick up on that?’
‘By observing you both when the two of you came to visit me in the spinal unit.’
‘Oh!’ she said blankly, and before he could comment further waved him off and hurried back inside.
Ryan was in the secretary’s office by the time she reached the corridor, having paused briefly to remind the tranquil middle-aged woman that an urgent appointment was needed for a child who had been diagnosed with epilepsy.
The family had missed the first appointment after the diagnosis when they would have discussed the illness in detail with the parents and explained to them what treatment was going to be given their daughter to control the symptoms and seriousness of it. Ryan caught Melissa up at the entrance to the wards.
Julian’s ploy had worked. He’d seen the kiss from the window of his office. His colleague had some nerve, yet why shouldn’t he come on to Melissa if he was so inclined? She hadn’t exactly pushed him away.
They were both free to fraternise with whoever they liked, had no family ties or emotional hang-ups from painful memories that wouldn’t go away, so it made perfect sense to Ryan that Julian and Melissa would get together. It didn’t make him feel any happier, though!
Christmas Magic in Heatherdale Page 9