by Jess Bryant
They were both built like tanks. Over six feet of solid muscle and broad shoulders, they made other men look scrawny in comparison. They both had the Bomar bone structure complete with square jaws, dimpled chins and smiles that flashed boyish dimples on the rare occasion they weren’t scowling.
But she’d always been able to tell them apart. Her body, for one, had never reacted to Cash. Not once. That would have been super awkward with Jemma being her best friend so thank God for that. Her heart didn’t race at the mere sight of Cash and having him close didn’t make that pinch of longing squeeze in her chest and need flood her veins. That had only ever happened for Colt.
She didn’t need the edgy, constantly changing haircuts to tell her which one was Colt. Just like she didn’t need to see the full sleeve tattoos that covered both of his arms, the ones featuring dark, dangerous looking images that fascinated her. But damn she liked the way Colt expressed himself with his ink and hair, her two favorite mediums.
He was so perfect for her.
“I uh… didn’t know if you were home.” He motioned to the paper in her hand and she smiled softly.
“You could have knocked.”
“Didn’t want to disturb you.” His eyes trailed over her, top to bottom, and he stopped a few feet away, “You headed out?”
She fought a flush at his lingering look, “Yeah.”
“It’s Sunday. Dinner with the parents, right?”
She smiled. This was a new version of him. Apologetic Colt.
She never knew what she was going to get with him. His moods were ever-changing and kept her guessing so she’d made cataloguing them a hobby. Yesterday it had been Bastard Colt. The night before she’d gotten a glimpse of Sweet Colt. There was also: Pensive Colt, Passive Aggressive Colt, Kind Colt, Sarcastic Colt, Crude Colt and Funny Colt just to name a few.
He had a hundred moods and she wanted them all. But this one today was new. And it was one she’d been waiting a long time to see.
“You remembered.”
“Yeah, you look…” He trailed off and she laughed.
“Prim and proper? I know, but I’ve told you how my parents are about the tattoos. It’s easier to keep them covered when I’m at their house.”
Colt’s lips twitched into a frown, “You shouldn’t have to hide who you are.”
“No, I shouldn’t, but they’re my parents.” She shrugged and he stared at the ground again.
She mentally kicked herself. Talking family and parents with Colt was never a good idea. It only made them both think about how different they were, about how their upbringings had been night and day. Sure she had issues with her parents. What twenty-three year old didn’t? But they cared enough to have dinner with her and Colt’s never had or would.
“I’m running late so I should get going.”
“Yeah, I was…” Colt glanced back up, their gazes colliding again, “I was going to say you look beautiful.”
Her heart instantly leapt, “Oh! Thank you.”
“Yeah, just... I’ll let you go.”
Skylar bit her lip as she watched his gaze drop again and he turned to leave. Her emotions were always in whiplash mode when it came to Colt. He could go from happy to angry in a split second. His moods changed faster than the weather in Oklahoma. But of all the different ways she’d seen him, this was the first time she could ever remember him seeming self-conscious.
“Colt, wait.” She grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
He turned back to her, mouth open and she was certain he was about to say something that would make her pull away so she didn’t give him the chance. She threw her arms around him and hugged him. She buried her face against his chest and squeezed with everything she had. She tried to tell him everything he didn’t want to hear without saying a word.
He stood there against her for a long moment, not moving. Stiff. Uncomfortable. But she still held on because he didn’t try to shove her away.
“Dammit.” Colt muttered under his breath, and she didn’t think she was supposed to hear it when he wrapped his arms around her as well and sighed, “I don’t know how to do this.”
She burrowed deeper into his embrace and bit the inside of her cheek when she felt his lips brush the top of her head. No, she couldn’t imagine he did. He didn’t let anyone this close to him. He’d kept her from getting this close for so long she was shocked to find herself in his arms now. And even though she’d been in relationships and cared about people she didn’t know how to do this either. She’d never felt like this about anyone else so she simply held on to him for as long as she could.
Eventually, his grip on her loosened and she knew he was going to pull away. She hated it but she let go of him as well. He dropped his hands and stepped back, his handsome face solemn. She stepped back as well and straightened her cardigan and dress, anything to keep from having to meet his eyes in case he regret this entire encounter.
Colt cleared his throat, “You should get going.”
“Yeah.”
“Stop by the shop sometime this week if you want to talk about the ink.” He shifted on his feet, “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t like it. I just thought…”
She remembered the piece of paper in her hand and smiled softly when he trailed off, “I love it.”
“Good.”
“I’ll stop by this week.”
“Okay.” He stepped back again and jammed his hands into his pockets, “You should get to dinner. I didn’t mean to make you late.”
“No worries, I was already late.” She smiled.
“I figured.” A flicker of a knowing smile brought out his dimples and her heart leapt all over again. “You’re always late.”
“It’s not a big deal. The guys went fishing today so they’ll still be cleaning the catch most likely. The later I am the less likely Owen will chase me around with fish guts.”
Colt’s smile dimmed, “The guys?”
“Dad and Owen and…” She refused to say his name, refused to put that wedge back between them and destroy this perfect moment they’d managed to carve out, but it didn’t matter that she didn’t say it, his reaction was all the same.
“Trey.” Colt stepped away from her, putting space between them quickly now.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah,” He mimicked with a shake of his head, “You should get going now Skylar. Your boyfriend is probably waiting on you.”
“Colt, I…”
“See you around, Sky.”
She closed her gaping mouth when he turned and walked away from her. One mention of Trey and he shut down completely. Indifferent Colt appeared just that fast. He shoved her away again and she couldn’t even blame him. She had a boyfriend and until she handled that, she couldn’t force Colt to let her any closer than he already had.
Since he’d already disappeared into his apartment, she sighed and went to her car. Once she was inside, she carefully straightened the drawing he’d given her and tucked it inside her purse. She didn’t want anyone else seeing it. Some part of her liked the idea of it being a secret, a tattoo that only she and Colt knew about, something they shared that nobody else would ever see.
As she drove to her parent’s house outside of town, she thought about the way it had felt to be in Colt’s arms. Right. There was something so right about being cocooned in those big, muscled arms of his. He felt it too. She was certain of it now.
He’d given her a gift today. More than one really. He’d given her that drawing. He must have spent hours working on the design and getting it just right on paper. He’d drawn out her next tattoo for her and told her to come by the shop any time to get it inked. But the more important gift had been the apology.
Colt Bomar. Mr. No Apologies himself. He’d apologized to her.
She hadn’t thought to ask what he was apologizing for. Being an ass? Pushing her away? Forgetting to order her fries the last time they had lunch? She didn’t care what he was apologizing for honestly, only that he had
.
In all the time that they’d been friends, he’d never apologized, not once. She’d let him get away with it, chalked it up to a flaw that she would just have to deal with if she wanted him in her life. He made up for it in other ways. He might never have said the words but after they fought he always went out of his way to do something nice for her. But it was better to get the actual words, to know that she meant enough to him to earn a real apology.
He cared about her. He’d shown up when she was sick. He cared that he’d hurt her feelings. He’d apologized and given her a gift. They were more than friends, just like she’d tried to make him admit yesterday. He hadn’t said it but surely between the note and the drawing and telling her she was beautiful and holding her, that was his way of agreeing with her. Right?
As she turned her car into her parent’s driveway, she was still thinking about Colt and the fact that he’d told her she looked beautiful. He’d never told her that she was beautiful before. He’d told her that she looked nice once or twice but usually if he was commenting on her looks he was making some joke about her pointless heels. He’d called her beautiful and the only thing that could wipe the smile off of her face was the sight in front of her as she stopped the car.
Her parent’s house loomed ahead. The two story ranch house where she’d grown up was huge by Old Settler’s standards. Most everyone that lived in the tiny town fell into the wide middle-class heading. There were some, like the Bomars, that sat well below that line. Then there were some, like the Hollands, that sat well above it.
The disparate upbringing between her and Colt was never more obvious to her than in that moment.
“Hey! There you are!” A booming male voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
“Hey, sorry I’m late.” She answered as she stepped out of the car and her brother crossed the yard towards her.
“Yeah, I told them ya were probably just hoping to avoid the fish guts.” Owen grinned, holding his hands out as he neared her, “But lucky for you I haven’t showered yet. Come on, give big brother a hug.”
“Eww! Gross! Stay away from me!” She squealed and high-tailed it around the back end of her car.
“Aww, come on Sky. I missed you.” Owen laughed as he circled after her.
She squeaked and darted away from his grabby hands. Owen chased her of course and she rounded the car, using it as a shield between them. She laughed even as she thanked her good sense not to wear heels. He totally would have caught her if she’d been wearing heels.
Owen might be four years older than her but he was still a boy. If he could get fish guts on his little sister, he was going to do it. She grinned and feigned a turn before darting to the other side of the car when he tried to reach across the hood and grab her.
“You’re getting slow in your old age.” She taunted playfully.
He barked out a laugh, “You think so?”
“I know so. It never used to take you this long to catch me.”
“Maybe I’m just buying time until reinforcements arrive.” He wagged his eyebrows and it hit her what he meant at the same time she felt two arms wrap around her waist and haul her off the ground.
“No!” She screamed and flailed uselessly, “Trey! Put me down!”
Deep male laughter vibrated against her ear as her attacker easily repositioned her, holding her gently but securely against his front. She was in her boyfriend’s arms. She should have experienced some sort of shiver, some flare of awareness, of heat, of something, but all she felt at the moment was annoyance.
“Trey! Let go!”
“Sorry Sky, no can do.” He chuckled.
“You’re supposed to be on my side.” She knocked him in the ribs with an elbow and caught the hint of movement out of the corner of her, refocusing on her brother as he came closer, “Don’t you dare, Owen! Stay back or I’ll kick you in the balls.”
Owen only laughed, wagging his eyebrows like a madman as he taunted her with his fish covered hands. Trey didn’t release her and his grip was iron clad. She was trying to decide whether to knock her head back into his face to force him to let go or kick out towards her brother when she was given a reprieve from the danger.
“Boys! Let her go!” Her father called good-naturedly, “You know we’ll have to listen to it all night if you get her dirty.”
Owen laughed and dropped his hands, “True.”
“You’re all a bunch of dicks.” She squirmed when Trey still didn’t release her.
Her father smirked, “O, get inside and get cleaned up. Leave your sister alone.”
“Come on, I’m not that dirty.” Her brother pouted as he walked away.
She breathed a sigh of relief when Trey finally loosened his hold on her and she immediately stepped out of his arms. Wrong. He might be her boyfriend but it felt all wrong. She spun to face him, fully prepared to berate him for engaging in Owen’s shenanigans but she stopped short when he held his hands up in surrender.
“I’m clean. Swear. I already took a shower or I wouldn’t have grabbed you.”
She blew out a breath, “I know. You don’t smell like fish.”
“Gee, thanks hon.” He chuckled, “Neither do you.”
Despite everything, she smiled. He really could be funny. And she liked him, she really did. She just didn’t love him and she didn’t think she ever could. Not when her heart belonged to someone else. That wasn’t Trey’s fault, it was hers.
She was the one that couldn’t stop cataloguing all the ways he was different from Colt. His dark hair and dark eyes didn’t do a thing for her. Reasonably she knew that he was attractive, could admit that she had been attracted to him when she first met him, but she thought now that might just be something biological. His dark good looks did nothing for her libido these days but remind it that what she really wanted was golden and gorgeous instead.
He tilted his head now, “Hey? What’s wrong?”
She blinked, realizing she’d been staring at him silently, “Nothing.”
“You sure? You spaced out there for a sec.”
“I’m fine, still a little tired.”
“From being sick? Yeah, I forgot to ask. How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.”
He raised a dark slash of eyebrow, “Pretty standard response there. I wish you’d let me come over and take care of you. I was worried.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just like to be alone when I’m sick.”
And she did, usually, but of course her stupid conscience had to remind her that she hadn’t been alone this time. Colt had come over. He’d taken care of her and she hadn’t minded in the least.
“Were you…” He tilted his head again when she remained quiet, “Alone, that is?”
“I…” She fumbled with what to say to that, not wanting to lie, “Yes, I was alone most of the night. A friend of mine stopped by to check on me but otherwise I just slept off the sickness.”
His dark eyes studied her for a long moment and then he nodded, “Was it him? The friend?”
She furrowed her brows, opened her mouth and then closed it again. Him. She knew who Trey was talking about of course. The only him that she really considered a friend. Colt. But she wasn’t sure how Trey could have figured that out so she remained silent.
Trey sighed, “Yeah, you’d think I would be used to you shutting me out by now. I keep thinking you’ll let me in, eventually, but you never do. It took me longer to figure out why than it probably should have considering the way you two look at each other.”
His words felt like a slap and she physically stepped back before she even realized what she was doing. She couldn’t believe he had said that to her. Trey, who never rocked the boat, had just called her out. She wanted to argue, to tell him that he was wrong, but she knew that he wasn’t.
She did shut him out. She kept him separate from her life as much as possible. It helped that he was gone half a month at a time working on the rig but even when he was in town she didn’t see him every ni
ght. They’d been dating for months but she didn’t sleep over at his place and had never invited him to stay over at hers. Even the hot and heavy petting they’d done when they first started dating had fallen by the wayside in the last month or so and she knew why that was.
She’d started pushing him away the instant Jemma came back to town. There had been a lot going on. She’d gotten a new roommate. Jemma had been running from her abusive ex. There had been shit to do and emotional baggage to work through with her BFF. She’d been upset that she was out in the woods, camping of all things, with her boyfriend instead of home where she could have helped Jemma when she first arrived, and maybe part of her had been blaming Trey for that.
But the bigger part of her had pushed him away because she’d gotten to see what true love looked like and she knew that wasn’t what they had. Jemma and Cash had just clicked from the moment the universe shoved them back together. Made for each other didn’t even begin to cover it. They were soulmates in the most basic and fundamental way. They were two halves that together made them whole.
Being around them and seeing that kind of love was both a blessing and a curse. It made her want it, badly, even as it made her admit that she didn’t have it, not yet. It made her see that the person she could have it with was standing right in front of her too… he was one of her closest friends, he just wasn’t her boyfriend.
And she should have broken up with Trey right then and there but she hadn’t. Instead she’d been slowly and steadily pushing him away. She’d been distant and even harsh with him. She had, she now realized, been doing all of the same terrible things to him that Colt had been doing to her.
As if she didn’t already feel like shit. She was a complete bitch. She knew that. But having the mirror held up to her face by the man she was hurting was a whole new level of awfulness and she hated it.
“I’m sorry.” She shook her head, “I’m sorry, that doesn’t even begin to cover it but I am.”
“It’s okay.” Trey shrugged.
“No. It’s not. It’s really not. You deserve so much better than what I’ve been giving you. I…”