It eased her mind enough that she slipped under the covers of the bed. The sheets must have been Egyptian cotton, and a high quality thread count. She decided she liked them better than her silk ones at home. Ah, home, she thought. Whatever will become of my life now? How many actresses could find work without having to work under bright lights? Maybe she could do horror films. She wouldn't even have to pretend to get into character, she could play as herself. So much for her next big step.
She shook her head. What bigger step could she have taken? She felt like she was the leading lady in her own personal movie. Enter suave, debonair leading man. Her skin was tingling with the memory of his touch when his form reappeared. Her shields were still in place, but she could have sworn he had heard her thinking about him.
I will keep it locked away for now. I fear leaving you alone while you dream. If you walk the planes again, you may not be able to find the way back to your body without help.
The thought shocked her. She had heard Nevar's voice the first time, when she hadn't known what it was she was actually doing, that she had focused on to return. It seemed everything depended on focus and clarity of mind. Unlike her human mind, this new mind was easy to clear of the chaos and distractions. It gave her much more room in her head, it seemed. Not that her brain had increased in size, but that she was using every inch of it and had full access to it at will. Not to mention, the enhanced abilities of becoming a vampire.
"How do I control it? Can I just sleep without ending up in another place and time or will I walk every time I sleep?"
"I cannot walk the planes, so I do not know the answers. We will have to find someone who can. For now, I need you to let your shields down and let me in. If you do walk, I should be able to walk with you through your thoughts. Physically, I will not be there, but I should be able to communicate with you."
She let down the walls that kept him out of her head. She hated feeling so vulnerable, but she also felt safer knowing that he could monitor her while she slept. "You'll be staying close by then?" She bit her lip, a nervous habit of hers. She wanted him as close as possible, but he was almost a stranger to her. Still, he was the closest one to her now and he was the only one she knew that could protect her.
"Where would you like me to stay?" He moved closer to her and put his hand gently on her shoulder. His eyes were soft and sincere. He let his guard down for her. He wanted her to know that he would be here for her. As long as he lived, he would be there whenever she called.
"Please," she begged, "I don't wish to be a burden for you to carry. I don't blame you for this, and I don't want you to bury yourself in guilt."
"You could never be a burden to me," he assured her.
Will you stay with me tonight?
Of course, I will. He smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her cheek. He was close enough to smell the subtle scent of jasmine in her hair. He wanted to be closer, wanted to taste her skin. He had to keep his thoughts in check. He was getting to be as bad as Xander. He pulled away and walked around the bed.
His fingers moved nimbly to loose the buttons on his shirt. His bare chest was broad and well-muscled, just as she had imagined it would be and his hips formed a tantalizing V. A sprinkling of dark curls spread across his chest and below his naval, disappearing at his waistband. Her fingers itched to pet the thin layer of curls, but she quelled the thought before it was fully formed. She busied herself in the act of arranging pillows to make herself comfortable. It had been a very long night, and her weariness was catching up with her. Who knew dying was so exhausting? It was a morbid thought, but, in her case, technically true. No, she preferred to think she had metamorphosed or evolved. Even the controversial theory was easier to digest than the alternative.
Xander was right. Your mind is fascinating, indeed. He succeeded in catching her eye, now stripped down to a pair of shorts. Her cheeks bloomed with color and her eyes darted to her lap, as if finding something decidedly important there. He could not read her thoughts. Apparently, her walls had snapped in place out of reflex. He had to admit, he was immensely impressed, and only slightly disappointed.
"You're being sneaky," she said.
"Not sneaky, playful perhaps." His smile lit up the room as he got into the bed with her.
"If I wasn't so scared to sleep alone, I'd make you sleep upstairs."
His smile vanished instantly. Again, she saw it, that element of danger in him. It was the protector in him. He had the tenacity of a guard dog and she knew without doubt that nothing would harm her so long as he was near her. She realized her guard was up and released it again. It would do her no good to protect herself from her protector.
I do not want you to be afraid. I promise I shall take care of you. It was his responsibility to look after her. It was only fair. It was his fault she was scared, and he understood. It had been long ago when he entered this life, but the memory would never fade away.
He led her through his thoughts back to a simpler time. It was late that night when he walked the cobblestone street towards home. It was brisk, so he pulled his collar up close to his ears. The festivities had all died down now. Le Mardi Gras was over. Just another year, he thought. He had not been out celebrating with the rest of them. He was still in mourning. Just over a year ago, his wife had died in childbirth. Sadly, his son had died a month later of consumption. This was a grim season for him, and he secretly despised Paris for being so happy.
He made the lonely walk home through the dark city streets. An eerie fog was beginning to descend over the land. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He felt he was being watched. His hand slid to the sword at his hip. His soldier's instincts bringing him to a defensive stance. He was quick, but not nearly fast enough. The wind was knocked cleanly out of his chest with the sheer force of impact and his vision blurred as his head collided with the cobblestone. His sword had made contact with what felt like a brick wall.
Pain shot through his neck and he felt his heart quicken with adrenaline. He smelled blood. His head was swimming and his limbs were growing cold. With his last ounce of strength, he pushed up against the force holding him down. The weight lifted off of his chest. All he could see were vague shadows.
A voice filled his head. You're a strong one, you are. It was a strong, deep voice. Your sword left quite a sting in my side. I think I will share a gift with you.
As his heart began to falter, something warm pressed against his lips. He cringed at the metallic taste at first, but it was so warm, and he was so cold. He began to drink the bitter tasting liquid and it warmed him. He felt his strength return and his vision began to clear. His head was no longer throbbing. A man was kneeling over him. The man pulled his wrist away from his mouth as his body started to convulse. Pain wracked his body and he felt himself dying. He would see his son and his wife soon. He waited for death to take him, welcomed it. He felt his heart stop. Soon.
Then, nothing. He took a breath, but his heart was still and silent. Anger and disappointment flooded over him, filled his mind, and he could think of nothing else. He rose to his feet, intending to lash out at this stranger. He raised his fist and swung, but the stranger caught his hand easily.
You have much to learn, young ward.
The man was dressed like an aristocrat, his powdered white wig announcing his rank. He was poised, dignified. He looked to be in his early 40's, but his eyes spoke of wisdom far beyond that many years. A sense of calm washed over him suddenly. He was not prone to sudden mood change, and it felt foreign to him. Whoever this man was, he was not your average Parisian.
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Matthias.
Chapter Five
"Who's Matthias?"
"He is the oldest vampire I know still alive. He was an invaluable mentor when I was new. He gave me a new life at a time when I was seeking my death."
"Nevar, I'm truly sorry about your wife and son. It must have been hard to lose them."
"It was long ago, but I carry them
with me to this day. My curse is that I am still here long after they have moved on. I wanted so desperately to join them that night. I always wondered, if I had not fought to save myself, would Matthias have let me die in the streets of Paris that night? Fate, it seems, had a hand in things."
She could understand him now. The guilt he carried with him was not only because of her. His loss went so much deeper than that.
"The day will be marked in my mind forever, just as I am sure this one will be marked in yours. I hope that it will be worth remembering for you."
She averted her eyes, letting her eyelashes sweep her cheeks. For everything that had happened, it had not been an unpleasant night. The uncertain path ahead of her was more frightening than anything else. Vampires, werewolves, myths come to life, those she could handle. The idea of an eternity stretched out before her, never changing or moving forward, that was what scared her. Then again, how many actresses would do anything never to grow old? She could only manage to pull it off for so long before it grew too suspicious. Then what?
"I don't know where to go from here. I've always had a plan for everything, but what should I do now?"
"For now, I think you should sleep. Things will become clearer after you have gotten some rest."
He was right, of course. She was exhausted, more mentally than physically, but tired nonetheless. She nodded and then leaned back to sink her head into the down pillow. He laid down beside her, but in such a large bed, there was still plenty of room between them. As soon as her eyes closed, it seemed, she fell asleep.
It was dark, even for her eyes. She felt as though she were being pulled forward, towards what, she didn't know. She entered a strange doorway, marked only by a change in the air. All she could smell was a thick layer of must that was almost suffocating and an almost hidden note of old tea leaves. She decided not to breathe. The darkness was like a felt blanket all around her. The air was too thick. It was hard to move. Two glowing red eyes appeared to pierce the darkness. They seemed to release her from her bonds. The thickness of the air receded and she was able to move towards the glowing eyes. Something told her to be wary and she stopped in her tracks. She trusted this voice. She looked all around for its owner, but there was no one to be seen.
The glowing eyes grew brighter, impatient, but their light did not quell the darkness. Instead, they seemed to make the darkness thicker by contrast. The eyes frightened her now. She turned and tried to run from them, but the air held her fast. She cried out for the voice to save her as she struggled to free herself. I'm here, it told her. Come to me.
The sound of the voice seemed to come from everywhere, and nowhere. It was soothing, and she closed her eyes to concentrate on it. There was a heat growing behind her, but she ignored it. She ceased her struggling and relaxed under the coaxing of the voice in her head. Nevar!
She opened her eyes. He was there beside her, awake and shirtless. She wanted to cry. These nightmares would never end, it seemed, and she wanted desperately to find some peace. She threw herself into his chest and tried to push back the tears. The last thing he needed was to see her cry, but she felt she was mourning her own death. This new life was strange and frightening.
His hand stroked her hair and he calmed her with his presence. She found her fingers lacing the curls on his chest. It was soothing, like petting Zukko or Snickers, but they never pet her in return the way he was. The silence of his chest was strange to her. She kept expecting to hear a heartbeat behind his ribs, but she never would. It surprised her to feel the damp spots of his skin where tears had fallen. So much for trying not to cry.
Do not fret over a few tears, especially where they are warranted. His other hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. He was a wall surrounding her, shielding her with his body, and there, she felt safe. Her eyes closed against the tears. Her body stopped fighting and she was soon relaxed enough to fall asleep in his arms. This time, there were no dreams, only the deep sleep that comes after a long day and a longer night.
He knew the instant she fell asleep. Her mind was in a peaceful place now. It brought a smile to his lips that he was there in her dreams. She had cast him the role of bodyguard and protector. She should have picked Xander. He had been unable to save his wife and their new son all those years ago. How could he expect to save anyone? Xander was strong and loyal, and as vicious as a guard dog when he needed to be. Yet, as she slept in his arms, she never doubted him. She was beautiful, and she needed him, and it nearly broke his heart. He hoped that he did not let her down. He brushed the hair from her eyes and kissed her ever so gently, so as not to wake her. Then, he closed his eyes and walked through her dreams with her.
It was the purring that woke her. Being Snickers, she had curled up in her favorite place to sleep, Alyssa's neck. Her fur was nearly suffocating, and would have been problematic had she still needed to breathe. She was most likely seeking warmth, but she had wondered a time or two if the feline was secretly plotting to asphyxiate her. It occurred to her that she had not seen Snickers slip through the secret opening into Nevar's chambers.
She looked beside her where Nevar was still laying. He looked at ease for once. The night must have been long for him, as well. It was odd to wake up next to someone she barely knew. She had never been into one night stands, and this was the closest she'd ever gotten to one, but somehow, she knew he would never have thought of her that way. Maybe it was his older way of thinking that convinced her. Although, he had her fooled more than once last night, and had he actually tried, she feared she would be putty in his magnificent hands.
"My ears are ringing. You must be thinking about me," he smiled.
Damn. He'd been awake and listening. She'd forgotten to shield her thoughts. She quickly remedied the situation, finding that it was easier and faster now. Still, she had to fight a secret smile. His sense of humor was a startling relief to the guilty gloom of the previous night.
He laughed and scratched the top of Snickers' head, instantly winning her heart as she leaned in and purred louder. "How did she get down here?"
"She's always been a little escape artist." Alyssa said, shifting the cat to her lap so she could sit up. "I had to pry her out of my ceiling once. Somehow, she had crawled up into the ventilation system. We never did figure out how she did it."
"Well, we're going to have to find out. If she can get in, so can others, and they may not be as friendly."
"Are you talking about Gabriel?"
"He's at the forefront, yes, but I have other enemies. Imagine how many people you can anger in seven hundred years, and vampires can hold a grudge for eons."
"The stories about covens, are they true?"
"There are a few. Most of us are reclusive, for good reason. Very few covens last for very long, and new vampires almost never linger in a group, too easily angered, except for you. I'm not exactly sure why, but you don't follow any of the typical patterns."
"There must be a reason," she answered. "Is there someone who might know?"
"Matthias would, if anyone does. But, I am certainly enlisting Xander's help if we are to seek him out. I do not dare to hunt a hunter without a little muscle."
"Is Matthias holding a grudge?"
"No, but he doesn't care for company these days. But, he can also walk the planes. He's the only one I know who can teach you how to control it."
I'm hungry, Nevar. She felt ashamed to admit it, but the pain in her stomach was growing. She was no longer able to ignore it.
There was pain in his eyes again. She was giving too much away. She schooled her features into her best poker face, which she was terrible at, but her focus had improved considerably since she last played the game. Her luck, on the other hand, was another matter entirely.
"I feel like I'm being too needy," she told him. It was the truth, but the other half of it was the dread of what she was about to do. There were no more clouds to conceal the truth of what she was left in her mind, and no more twisting of her thoughts by Nevar
to help her along. She looked at him with pleading eyes. "You'll help me, won't you?"
"If you need it," he answered simply. "Would you like to go back to your home as well?"
"I'd like to pick up a few things if you still want me to stay here." It struck her that she had no idea how long he would want her here. He had said a few days, until she had recovered from her physical change, but the mental change in her was far more frightening. Walking the planes was bad enough, but her nightmares had been so real. Only Nevar had been able to chase them away. What would she ever do without him?
"Alyssa." His voice caressed her name like a melody to a song. Her fear was written on her face, she knew, but whether he knew why or not was a mystery to her. "I would say it is going to be okay, but I can't promise you that. What I can promise is that I will be here for you. I know things are different and they can never go back the way it was before, but unless you order me away, here I am."
"Is it from experience that you know just what to say or am I just that easy to read?"
He smiled at her. "Maybe both. Matthias did not tarry long after turning me. He gave me the knowledge I needed, then he vanished and left me to my ways. You are the only one I've turned, but I have no desire to leave you for the wolves, so to speak. I'm sure the phrase holds new meaning for you after meeting Xander, but there's something you should know."
"I recall getting strict orders not to believe anything you say about him," her smile was teasing, but his expression was serious, and her smile died away with her voice into the air.
"It can wait until you've been properly fed. It's quite a long story." He got out of bed and walked across the room and began to dress himself. He seemed to take his time fastening each button and straightening every wrinkle until he looked as though he stepped right out of a magazine.
The Amulet Page 5