"Nevar? Are you okay?"
He was clutching his right arm, which she noticed looked charred. He grimaced in pain and did not answer her question, a bad sign. She was still supporting Jessie, who finally seemed to be breathing regularly again, so all she could do was reach out to him mentally. "We need to get you and Jessie back to the manor, quickly!"
He seemed to push through the pain to continue on, even helping to support Jessie. Alyssa could see that he was hurting from deeper wounds than just the charring of his arm. She wanted to do something for him, anything, but she had no clue what.
"Forget it, Alyssa. I know that look. Get us home and worry about me then."
She felt slightly put out by his words, but she didn't argue. He was right, anyway. The longer she stayed here, the more energy she wasted. She focused her mind, but all she could think about was Nevar. She tried again. She tried to think about the room she had been in and herself, but the thoughts slipped through her mind like the sand in an hourglass.
Alyssa, think of me.
The voice was so sultry and seductive, she wanted to hear it again.
Think of me, Alyssa. I'm here. Come back to me.
Xander! The name triggered her memory. She could taste his kiss lingering on her lips still. She could see his piercing blue eyes gazing softly back at her. She could smell new leather and musk and she felt his golden mane twisted in her fingers. An intersection in the grid opened up not far from where they had entered and Alyssa guided them through to it.
Nevar seemed distracted and he stumbled a time or two. Alyssa tried not to think about his unusual lack of grace. She looked through the open intersection and saw Xander leaning over her body, gently stroking her hair. "Hold onto me, Nevar. I've never pulled anyone through the grid with me before. It may be a rough landing."
He nodded silently at her as he reached out for her. His touch was very hesitant at first, taking her lightly by the wrist. She needed him closer, so she pulled his arm around her waist. He gave her a wistful look and turned his eyes away. Alyssa never could have guessed that she would be the one who got hurt when she made her choice.
Alyssa, please come back to me.
Xander's voice coaxed her through the opening in the grid. As she stepped through, she felt resistance as she tried to pull Nevar and Jessie along behind her. She asked the amulet for help. She had pulled it through before, but it was much smaller. The dragon answered her with a surge of power, like fire through her body, and the resistance faded. Together, they fell into the room. Jessie and Nevar landed heavily on the floor, while Alyssa was pulled back into her body.
She opened her eyes slowly. She was met with fiercely blue eyes smiling down at her. Xander kissed her into consciousness and the wolf in him was ecstatic, howling merrily to the silver moon. LunR nuzzled him through her thoughts, vampire and wolf both finally in agreement.
When Xander finally released her mouth, she asked, "Jessie and Nevar, did they make it through okay?"
Xander helped her sit up, although she didn't feel like he needed to fuss over her. Nevar was kneeling on the floor beside Jessie, who appeared to be attempting to open her eyes. "They made it through," he said, "but all of you need to recover. We need a safe place to hide out for a night or two. It seems Gabriel has a bead on this place."
"Xander, I know you may despise this idea, but I think we should find Katarina."
"No," he insisted. "Absolutely not! She's just as likely to bring Gabriel to us as help us, probably more so. Why would you want to find her?"
"Do you know anyone better at disappearing?"
His jaw flexed as a muscle in his neck bulged. He refused to answer, but she knew he didn't have a valid argument to raise. She twisted a lock of his hair until she saw the tension release. She knew it was hard for him, but she was the cool water that put out the flames in his thoughts.
The pain in Nevar's arm was beginning to subside, but he would need to hunt soon to heal the scars. As soon as the amulet had discovered he had fooled it, the curséd thing had lashed out at him. It felt like it had taken power from him in the process.
"Nevar," Xander interrupted his thoughts. "I left enough food in the dining room for Jessie. I imagine she is pretty hungry after her first full transformation."
"Then I will escort her down, if you will see to Ms. Thomas?"
Xander nodded, but the look on Alyssa's face tore him to pieces. Despite what he may try to tell himself, he had fallen under her spell, and worse, he had dragged her along with him. He would have to live an eternity knowing he was breaking her heart.
Jessie awoke suddenly. Had it all been a terrible nightmare? The exhaustion she felt suggested otherwise. Her head ached and her stomach was growling. She wanted nothing more than to eat an entire steak and go to bed. Steak? She usually stayed away from red meat except on rare occasions. Somehow, she doubted anything else would satisfy her hunger.
She started to sit up, but her body refused to listen to her. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
The voice that answered her was close, very close. "Nothing is wrong with you. A good meal and you will be back on your feet again in no time."
She hadn't realized she was being carried until she saw his face. His black hair and strong jaw line reminded her of a hero out of her dreams. He was every bit the man she fantasized about, but was too shy to talk to. Now, she was pressed firmly against his chest and yet, she was still at a loss for words.
"There is something unusual about you, Jessie. Do you care to answer a few questions for me?"
His eyes were soft chocolate pools and they pleaded to her. How could she say no? A better question would be: how would she force her vocal chords to produce discernible sounds? She nodded her head in answer.
He laughed infectiously and the corners of her mouth slipped into a shy smile. Surely, her cheeks must have been glowing. She wondered how they did not light up the dark corridor. "Where are you taking me?" she asked timidly.
"To the dining room, of course. Xander took the liberty of preparing a feast, so I was told, and you need to eat," he answered. "Now, my turn, will you tell me about your parents?"
She thought it an odd question to ask, but didn't find it offensive or overly invasive. "I don't know a lot about my mother. My father said she died when I was very young. He told me she was beautiful. My dad was really handsome when he was younger, but he passed away a few years ago. Well," she trailed off and turned her eyes away.
"Is something wrong?"
She sighed heavily before continuing. "My dad's family never really accepted me. They said my mother had been sleeping around. Everyone thought I looked nothing like my father."
"What was your mother's name?"
"Katarina, but my dad just called her 'Kat'."
His eyebrow cocked at the name. "Do you happen to have a picture of her?"
She dropped her gaze again. "No, they were all destroyed in the fire that killed her."
"Would you recognize her if you saw a picture of her?"
"I doubt it. I was so young when she died, and all I know about her is what my father told me. I know she had golden eyes. Dad said he swore they were contacts at first, but if they were, she never took them out."
"Did she have black hair?"
"Yes, how did you guess?"
"It was no guess, Jessie. I think that wolf bit you on purpose, and I think I know why."
Nevar had taken Jessie from the room, leaving Alyssa alone with Xander. She thought she knew the real reason he had left. He wanted to put distance between himself and her. She felt horrible, but she wasn't sure if she felt bad for hurting him, or if she was hurt because he was rejecting her. All she knew was one way or another, it hurt.
Xander gave her a sympathetic look. She gave him a small smile as if to say, I'm okay. He offered his hand to her and she took it. He eased her out of bed, wrapping his arms around her as if he were afraid she would fall.
"Xander, you don't have to treat me as if I were made of glass. I was pr
etty sturdy as a human, well, I guess I was never really human, after all."
"You look really pale, and even a little thinner than you were, Alyssa. You need to feed."
"I'm really not hungry, though," she told him, and she wasn't. She didn't feel weak, either. She felt the amulet hanging around her neck and she began to pet the dragon's scales with her free hand.
"I think you should take that thing off, Alyssa. It gives me a bad feeling."
As soon as he said the words, Alyssa felt the gold heat up and it whispered softly to her. It didn't like Xander. He was a threat and she should be wary of him. Nonsense, she told it. Xander had risked his life for her more than once already. The dragon cooled down and settled down to nest on her chest.
"I think I would collapse from exhaustion if I take it off. I'm borrowing power from it at the moment."
Xander looked skeptical, but didn't argue. "Fine, but I want you to eat something."
She really didn't want to, but if it would make Xander happy, she would eat. "Of course, Xander."
"Finally, a woman who listens to me at least half of the time," he winked at her.
She smiled in return. "I promise I'll listen all the time, but I can't promise to always obey."
He laughed heartily. "I'm afraid I can't promise to obey all the time, either unless..." His eyes seemed to stare off at some distant point behind her instead of at her.
"Unless you have a debt to pay?" She had never meant to ask, but she had never expected him to mention it either.
"Nevar saved my life, and so did you. That's not something I forget easily. Werewolves have always been bound to vampires as far back as the histories go. When he saved my life, I felt a physical pull to obey every command or favor he asked of me. I could never stray too far from him, whether I wanted to or not. It has been a burden at times, but Nevar has been a good friend and he has never abused my bonds."
"He is a good man. I hope he doesn't hate me." The words slipped from her mouth before she had thought about them.
There was understanding in his eyes and he seemed to hold her just a little closer. "He doesn't hate you, 'Lyss. He is upset with himself. He blamed himself when his family died and now he feels like he failed you."
"How do you know?"
"I can read him pretty well. He had to turn his back when you were crying because he blamed himself."
She hadn't thought of it that way. She thought he just couldn't stand the sight of her. "Thank you, by the way, for being there to dry my tears," she told him. It only just occurred to her that she had not said it before.
Because you didn't have to say a word.
The thought whispered in her mind like a gentle breeze through autumn leaves. "Oh, Xander," she sighed. Before she could say more, her knees buckled beneath her and she swooned.
Xander caught her in his arms and scowled at her chest. "Take that damn necklace off now!" he ordered her.
She had never heard such ferocity in his tone before. Her fingers trembled as she set to do as he told her. The dragon protested and seemed to hiss in her mind, but she lifted the chain over her head and dropped it to the floor. The dragon still called to her, but it was faint now. Without the amulet around her neck, she felt weaker than ever. She wanted to put it back on, but she didn't dare fight with Xander on the matter.
He kissed her forehead, then her lips. She tasted blood and it enticed her hunger. He had bitten his tongue, assumably on purpose. A hint of the fire that flowed through his veins was in his kiss and she couldn't get enough. He knew what he was doing to her and rejoiced in it.
When he finally ended their kiss, the taste of his blood lingered on her lips like an agonizing reminder. "Are you hungry now?" he asked with a tantalizing smile.
"Starving," she whispered.
"Mmm, good. What would you like? We could go out, or maybe you prefer I bring it to you?"
His candor made her laugh, but it was an attempt at normalcy, and she loved it. "I'm afraid I'm too tired to go out just yet, although your kiss certainly helped."
"Your lips deserve the sweet caress only I can offer," he said to her, the words ringing a bell of recognition in her mind.
"I've heard you say those words before," she told him.
He looked at her curiously for a moment, clearly not following her train of thought. "I don't believe I've ever said that to you," he ventured.
"No, you didn't say them to me. You said them to my mother in my dream." She caught a flash of a memory in his head before the walls slammed shut. She assumed it was a defense mechanism. "It wasn't a dream, was it? I was seeing a memory."
"No, it wasn't a dream." His tone was cold, but it was not reflected in his eyes when they looked at her. "I should really get some new material, eh?"
She knew the joke was meant to end the discussion, so she gave him a polite smile and didn't press him on it. "Should we put the amulet away somewhere?"
"If you ask me, Alyssa, the thing guards itself pretty well. I'm afraid to touch it after what it did to Nevar." Before he finished speaking, he lifted her in his arms and started to leave the room. She certainly saw his point. There was part of her that did not want to part from it, and another that wanted to be as far as possible from it. She wondered which voice she should listen to this time? It seemed she would always be split down the center: the woman and the wolf.
"As time goes on, you will find that your two halves will agree more and more, mainly because you learn to trust the instinct of the wolf."
"I keep forgetting that you can read my thoughts," she chuckled. "That amulet has a strange effect on me. The longer I'm around it, the harder it is to walk away from it. It's no wonder Gabriel wants it back so desperately."
"I'd love nothing better than to give it back to him," he muttered.
"I don't think it will go back to him willingly. He threatened to kill me, and that little trap he set up was meant for me. Nevar threw a wrench in his plans when he showed up instead of me. For that, I suppose I owe him my life."
At that very moment, Nevar came around a corner to meet them. "You are most welcome, milady, but since it was I who dragged you into this mess to begin with, no thanks was necessary."
"Nevar, when are you gonna learn to shut up and take a damn compliment once in a decade?" Xander shot back at him.
There was a note of surprise written on his face. "Forgive me, Alyssa. I hope I did not offend?"
She wasn't sure she could answer that truthfully without being offensive herself. There was a bitterness growing in the pit of her stomach at the sudden properness he was exhibiting towards her, as though they were strangers. She had shared his bed and had opened herself to him intimately and now she felt he was betraying her in the deepest way.
He sighed heavily, and his shoulders sagged visibly. His military posture had disintegrated. "It seems I have much to atone for," he said. "Xander, allow me to take Alyssa out to hunt. We both need it, and I have some explaining to do."
Alyssa felt Xander's muscles tense before he lowered her reluctantly to the floor. "She needs to eat well, Nevar. See that she does."
"You'll take care of Jessie, won't you, Xander?" It seemed she had barely gotten to see her friend since she arrived and she was afraid to leave her side again.
"Go, 'Lyss, I got this," he winked at her.
She gave him a small smile and reached out for Nevar. It was harder than it should have been, she realized, to leave Xander. The wolf had won over after all. Once Nevar had an arm around her, Xander pulled away and headed towards the end of the hall. His thoughts were clouded, but she could see the storm brewing in his mind.
"I am truly sorry, Alyssa. I have hurt you, and that was not my intent at all."
"What was your intention, Nevar? It certainly seemed like you were purposely trying to hurt me," she sobbed. "All your propriety and your cold demeanor. I opened my heart to you. Everything I had, I gave to you and you threw it back in my face!" The tears were flowing freely now, but she still had
enough anger to keep her voice from cracking.
It was the rebuking he had anticipated. He deserved it, and he knew it, but he wanted to tell her why, more than that, he needed to tell her. Her beautiful green eyes were rimmed in red and stained with tears, and still, she was as beautiful and alluring as always. It was in her blood. He waited for her to give him an opening to speak.
"I do not regret one second of our time together, Alyssa, but if I could trade it all for your happiness, I would do so without hesitation. I only withdrew because I cannot protect you. I have failed miserably since bringing you into this world, but where I have failed, Xander has succeeded. I have seen the way the two of you think. Your minds work in unison, like two parts of the same whole. I cannot compete with that, to me, your thoughts are a puzzle that I am unable to solve, though I wanted to."
She was silent, and the seemingly random patterns of color that were so mysterious to him faded from her mind and, for the first time in a long while, he saw a clear picture of her thoughts.
Nevar, I have to accept that I am different. I am vampire and werewolf, and yet, I am neither. I walk a delicate balancing act between my two halves, and I am nowhere near mastering the art. If you do not love me, I can accept that, but do not make excuses. I never asked you to protect me, so you have not failed me. Xander and I share the mind of the wolf, as does Jessie, but I have never meant to keep my thoughts a puzzle.
"Alyssa," he whispered hoarsely. "I cannot say that I do not love you, but there is more I have not told you. It is quite a long story, so I insist we eat first, but I promise to explain everything." He pulled her close, feeling a note of sorrow in his chest. He transformed them both to mist and together they soared away from the manor.
It seemed to her a long time since she had traveled by mist. The feeling of weightlessness gave her a sense of freedom. She felt Nevar's presence woven tightly around her as if he was trying to shield her. Still seething with anger, she retreated as far from him as she was able without returning to her physical form. They soon approached the glittering lights of the city and Nevar guided them down into one of the buildings, finding a darkened apartment.
The Amulet Page 18