“He said he really likes you while at the same time he was obviously planning this ridiculous thing with Celia behind your back?” Izzy said. Her voice was quiet, dangerous. The thing about Izzy was that she was the sweetest, most innocent one of the four of them. But if you crossed anyone she loved, she turned into Princess freaking Xena. She grabbed the giant bouquet and stood. “Come on.”
They all stood with her. “Um, where are we going?” Kayla asked as they followed her to the parking lot.
“I’m going to shove this bouquet up Ashish’s—”
“That won’t be necessary,” Sweetie said. “Really.”
“Okay, so I agree that the shoving is unnecessary,” Suki said. She grinned suddenly. “Would be fun, though. Anyway, I think Izzy’s onto something with the confrontation thing.”
“I just want to go home, honestly,” Sweetie said. Suddenly she felt very, very tired.
Kayla turned and took her by the shoulders. “Sweetie,” she said, her dark-brown eyes glittering under the streetlights. “This jock totally took you for a ride. He thought you were gullible enough to fall for his lies, and then he decided he wanted to hook back up with his ex while telling you that she’d broken his heart so badly he couldn’t emotionally connect with you. He’s scum. Are you really going to let him off that easy? Do you really want him to have his little hot-and-heavy date in Bedwell with zero consequences because he bought you some expensive flowers? I mean, I know that’s not why you want to go home, but that’s exactly what he’ll think.”
“Guys like Ashish are used to getting their way. They think that because they’re hot and they can slap a ball around, they can get away with everything short of murder.” Suki’s black eyes sparked with anger. “Come on.”
Izzy held the bouquet in one hand and thumped it against the palm of her other hand, like a Mafia boss. “You know you want to.”
Sweetie sighed. They were right. Ashish shouldn’t get off so easily. Besides, wouldn’t it feel good to let off some steam? To let him know that she wasn’t some easy, pathetic girl he could just take for a ride because he was her first boyfriend or because she was fat? She straightened her shoulders. “Fine. Let’s do it.”
“That’s my girl,” Suki said, swiping under Sweetie’s eyes with her fingers to get the smeared mascara. “Let’s kick some jock butt.”
As they sped out of the parking lot in Kayla’s Suburban, Sweetie caught sight of two figures under the eave of the building. They were wrapped around each other, kissing. With a smile, she realized it was Oliver and Elijah. Well, at least the night had ended well for someone.
It was exactly like the last time he was here with Celia. Ashish was having a major case of the déjà vus, combined with a heapin’ helpin’ of the heebie-jeebs.
She was wearing the same red halter with those tiny blue shorts and those killer cowboy boots. Her hair was up in a bun, with just a few curls escaping around her face. She’d spread out a picnic blanket—complete with LED candles—on one of the little green hills overlooking the bay. Ashish was pretty sure it was the exact green hill as the last time.
Leaving the parking lot (Oliver had told him, kind of mysteriously, that he had a ride home, so Ashish had been able to leave alone), he walked up the hill and sat cross-legged beside Celia. She smiled at him, her skin glowing from the light of the candles, her hazel eyes shimmering. She was beautiful—he couldn’t deny that.
Celia reached over and put a hand on his arm. “Thanks for coming. It’s so good to see you.” She scooted in closer, so their thighs were touching. “God, I’ve missed you, Ashish.” She trailed a finger up his forearm.
Ashish put a hand on hers, making her stop. “Celia,” he said, holding her gaze. Her smile faded slowly at whatever she saw on his face. “I’m dating someone.”
She shook her head. “But it doesn’t feel as right as you and me did, does it?”
Ashish took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the distinct scent of the bay. “It feels … more right. I’m not saying that to hurt you, Celia. But Sweetie, she’s … she’s like the other half of my jagged soul, you know? She’s got the soft edges that fuse with my hard ones. She’s so easy to be with.” He shook his head. “There’s something about Sweetie. Something I can’t explain. I just l—” He stopped short and stared straight ahead at nothing. Oh my God, he thought to himself. Oh my God.
“What?”
“I love her.” He grinned, thinking, You freaking love her, Ash. I can’t believe you didn’t see this until now. You idiot! You. Love. Her. He laughed a little maniacally, exhilarated. He wanted to fly. It was quite possible he could fly, because he was so dang happy. This was like Balltopia. This might even be better than Balltopia. He loved Sweetie. Ashish and Sweetie, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i—
Celia took her hand out from under his and wrapped her arms around her legs, pulling her knees up to her chest. “So you don’t miss me at all?”
The tremulous pain in her voice crashed Ashish back to reality. The grin fell off his face. “No, no, hey, C.” He squeezed her arm and sat with her for a moment in silence. “It’s not that I don’t miss you. Honest. In fact, for the longest time I couldn’t even function. I’m still getting myself back all the way. But you could tell, couldn’t you, when we were together, that something was off? The whole reason you went out with that d-bag behind my back—”
“I was wrong. I’m so, so sorry about that, Ash. I was wrong and horrible.” She turned her head to look at Ashish, and her eyes were swimming in tears that were golden in the light. “You were the only one who ever understood me, Ash. This past year at SFSU has been horrible. I’m so lonely all the time. I don’t have any friends. Maybe if you and I were dating, I could convince my parents to let me move back home. I could … I could go to Menlo College—”
Ashish put a hand on her shoulder. He’d never seen Celia like this; it broke his heart. “C …,” he said gently. “You don’t need me as an excuse to move back home. Your parents will understand that it’s too soon for you to move out.”
She swiped at her eyes. “But they won’t, though. They were both so happy for me to ‘leave the nest,’ as they kept calling it. They kept saying they were so proud that I was finally beginning my life independent of them. I know they’ll just think I’m this giant failure if I move back home because I can’t hack it away from them. But if it’s because things are getting serious with you …” She sniffed and sobbed at the same time. “Oh God. I just heard it. Like, for the first time, you know?” She put her chin on her knees. “I’m such a pathetic loser.”
“Hey.” Ashish waited till she met his eye. “Celia Ramirez is many things, but loser ain’t one of them. Okay?”
She smiled a little. “I also said ‘pathetic.’”
Ashish laughed. “Okay, I’m not gonna lie, walking up here and seeing how you’d re-created our date at Bedwell was a little unsettling.” He put an arm around her shoulder. It felt easy now, like something he’d do with Pinky, with no other connotations surrounding it. “But I get it now. You’re just sad, C. There’s nothing wrong with that. And sure, your parents might be momentarily disappointed that you don’t want to launch yet. But they’re going to be happy that you felt you could go to them with this, you know?” He snorted. “And seriously, if they’re anything like my parents, they’ll probably be secretly pleased that you came back. I think Ma and Pappa want Rishi and Dimple to stay home once they’re married … and they probably wouldn’t even mind it now.”
Celia laughed. “I can see that.” More seriously, she continued. “And you know what? You’re right. I bet they’ll just be relieved that I reached out. I mean, I’ve even gone to see the campus shrink a couple of times.” She took a deep, shuddering breath.
Ashish patted her on the back. “I’m sorry it’s been so rough. I guess that’s the side of college you don’t hear about too often, huh?”
“Yeah. There’s a lot more to it than people think. It’s not all fun and parties, e
ven for someone like me. Mostly, it’s just so big. … I kinda got lost, you know?”
“Yeah. But you’ll find yourself again.”
“Thanks, Ash.”
They sat together for a few more minutes and then began packing up.
“You know, something about you is different.” Her hands paused on the picnic basket as she studied him. “But in a really good way. I’m … I’m happy for you, Ash. This is what you deserve.” She smiled softly, a little sadly. “So. This girl you’re dating. Tell me more about her.”
Ashish felt the maniacal, exhilarated grin reacquaint itself with his face as he said her name. “Sweetie Nair. My parents actually set us up.”
“Shut. Up.”
Ashish laughed. “Yeah, I know. That caught me off guard too. But she’s kind of perfect for me, actually. She’s athletic and kind and charming without even realizing she’s being charming. …” Shaking his head, he picked up the picnic basket and the blanket and began walking down the hill, toward the parking lot. “She makes the planet brighter just by being on it.”
“So if Sweetie’s so perfect, what’s she doing with a dope like you?”
Ashish laughed. “Actually, I ask myself that every single day, pretty much.” His heart wanted to burst into light at the memory of Sweetie singing her heart out. In the distance a Suburban roared into the parking lot, gravel skidding and bouncing, but Ashish didn’t pay much attention. He was too busy thinking about how he was ready to take the next step with Sweetie.
She’d stuck by him when he was in pain and dazed with heartbreak and demojofied. Gently, gently, she’d brought him back to his parents, showed him how wrong he’d been about not dating Indian-American girls, how idiotic and empty the whole “mojoless player” thing was. Gently, gently, in her Sweetie way, she’d changed the core of him. She’d shaken his world and reshaped it into something bright and light and colorful. It was obvious what he needed to do next.
He needed to say those three little words to her. Three little words that would change their lives forever. Ashish grinned; he felt free. He was no longer afraid of screwing things up with Sweetie. From now on, everything would be smooth sailing between them.
CHAPTER 29
“You f-fart goblin jerkwad!”
The words shot out of Sweetie’s mouth before she could stop them; it was the only insult she could think of that came close to expressing her wrath. Ashish was walking toward the parking lot with a girl who had to be Celia, with her gorgeous red halter and short shorts, her perfect cowboy boots and artfully arranged bun. She was half Sweetie’s size, too. It shouldn’t bother her, but it did. It stung like hell.
Ashish’s head snapped up as Sweetie slammed the passenger door shut and stalked up to him. “Sweetie?” He looked totally bewildered. “What … what are you doing here?”
Her girls flanked her as she crossed her arms. Celia looked completely terrified, her doe eyes swiveling this way and that as if she were looking for a quick exit. “Do you think I’m stupid, Ashish?” Sweetie said. “Did you seriously think you could continue to date Celia behind my back and I wouldn’t find out about it?”
“Wh-what?” He jerked his head to look at Celia, as if remembering for the first time that she was with him. “No, it’s not—”
“Save it, Ass-sheesh,” Izzy said, taking a menacing step closer to him.
He rolled his eyes. “Never heard that one before.”
On Izzy’s right, Suki brandished Ashish’s bouquet at him and, as he watched, broke them in half over one thigh.
“Hey!” he said. “Those were for Sweetie!”
“Well, she doesn’t want your janky frakking guilt flowers,” Kayla said from Sweetie’s side.
“They’re not guilt fl—” Turning to Sweetie, Ashish said, “Could you call off your goon squad? This isn’t what you think it is. Let me explain. Come on, Sweetie, you know me.”
She felt herself wavering. He looked so genuine, so completely confident in what he was saying.
“Goon squad? You’re lucky we aren’t throwing your bony butt in the bay,” Suki said, pushing forward and narrowing her eyes, her hair swinging out to cover half her face. “Dirtbag.”
“You mess with Sweetie, you mess with frakking all of us,” Kayla said, stepping forward too, her arms crossed. “Now, you choose. Do you want to get kicked in the frakking nads by Sweetie or by me?”
“What?” Ashish squeaked.
“W-wait.”
Sweetie turned at the female voice. Celia tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear and stepped forward slightly, licking her lips. She looked extremely nervous. “Ash is right. There’s nothing going on between us.”
Kayla cleared her throat and pointedly looked down at the—ugh—blanket. Sweetie’s insides shriveled at the thought of them doing it on that checkered red-and-white fabric.
“I know it looks bad,” Celia said. “But it was all me. I wanted to get back together with Ash—at least, I thought I did—but it was all a mistake. We were just talking tonight, and he made me realize some things about myself.” She shook her head. “But more importantly for you, I realized that this guy is head over heels for you, Sweetie. Seriously.”
Ashish rubbed his jaw, his eyes studying Sweetie closely, half hopeful.
Sweetie looked at him, frozen. Those eyes she loved so much, like dark honey drizzled into a cup of tea. Even now they looked totally honest, completely guileless. Could it be? Was Celia speaking the truth?
“Nice try,” Izzy said, flashing her braces-covered teeth in a snarl.
“They probably get off on cheating or something,” Suki said in disgust.
“Sweetie.” Ashish’s voice was clear, and he looked right at her, no hint of deception on his face. “I would never hurt you like this. Tell me you know that.”
Sweetie stood there quietly, looking at him, studying him, willing what he was saying to be true. But the blanket. The text messages. The fact that he was here at all, that he’d kept all of this from her in the first place …
“She doesn’t have to tell you anything, jackass,” Suki said, kicking off one boot. When she picked it up, the rest of the girls followed suit, kicking off one of their shoes, picking them up, and advancing on Ashish.
“What is this?” he said, looking at them warily.
“Oh, you’ll find out,” Izzy said, smiling.
“Stop!” Sweetie called out.
They turned to her. “Are you sure?” Kayla said. “Because there are four of us and only one of him.”
“Take your shoe off,” Izzy said, practically bouncing up and down. “Come on, Sweetie, it’s gonna feel so good!”
“I just wanna go,” she said quietly, and turned back to the Suburban. After a moment, the girls caught up with her and piled in.
Even as she refused to listen to Ashish calling her name, something inside Sweetie protested. Could this really be true? Was Ashish just a big cheater? Were he and Celia just feeding her an old, tired story she’d be a total fool to believe? But why? What would be the point?
Well, maybe they needed Sweetie to believe so they could continue their tryst in all the secretive excitement. The thought made her sick. But really. Would Ashish, her Ashish, do that?
“Jerkface douche-canary,” Suki said, as Kayla started up the car.
“We should’ve tap-danced all over his face in our heels,” Izzy said to her. “I can’t believe he just stood there with Celia and refused to admit anything.”
The more they spoke, the worse Sweetie felt.
“Guys, I … I just can’t … Ashish is not …” She shook her head, holding back tears, as Kayla whipped out of the parking lot. “I didn’t get a dirtbag vibe from him at all, you guys. Even right then. I just didn’t feel like he was lying. Did you?” She turned to Kayla, who was usually a really good judge of character.
Kayla kept her eyes on the road for a long moment. Then, looking at Sweetie out of the corner of her eye, she said, “I didn’t get a lying vibe e
ither, honestly.”
“But let’s look at the facts,” Suki said from the backseat. “One: He was dating you and simultaneously texting Celia without telling you. Two: He told you he really liked you while simultaneously planning this whole looks-like-a-date-with-benefits thing behind your back. Let me ask you, when you saw him earlier tonight, did he give any hints at all about what he was up to later?”
“No,” Sweetie said quietly. “He just said he had somewhere to be at nine thirty.”
Suki sat back. “I rest my case.”
“You don’t want to be that girl, Sweetie,” Izzy said from beside Suki. “The girl who becomes a doormat and gives the dirtbag guy a thousand chances just because he’s cute and can lie well.”
“No, I don’t,” Sweetie agreed. “I definitely don’t.” The one thing she’d always had, the one thing she’d hung on to in spite of everything she’d been told about herself—that she was ugly, that she was lazy, that no one would love her until she was thin, that she wasn’t a serious athlete because she was fat—was her self-respect. And she’d be damned if she was going to let Ashish Patel take that from her.
Kayla dropped Sweetie off in front of her house. They’d spent the rest of the ride back singing songs from Band Night—which, by the way, had been a total success. According to the text from Antwan that had just come in, they’d raised enough money for the new jerseys and then some. They’d even decided to donate the overage to a charity for underprivileged women athletes.
As soon as the Suburban disappeared around the corner, though, Sweetie’s temporary high melted away. It hadn’t been completely genuine anyway; it had been painted on over her sadness and disappointment. Now that she was alone, those emotions showed through, and Sweetie felt completely drained.
She let herself into the house and walked to her bedroom.
“Band Night engane indaarnu?”
Sweetie turned, her hand on the doorknob, to see Amma in the hallway in a nightdress, her hair in a neat braid. Her eyes were puffy, like she’d been asleep. Which she probably had—it was past ten thirty, and Amma and Achchan were usually in bed by ten p.m. tops.
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