One Of The Guys

by Johnson, Ashley

  As he slid inside me, nothing else mattered. I moaned as he began moving in and out and I had to clutch his shoulders to steady myself as I caught my breath. When I came, I could feel myself losing all control but I knew this was the kind of control I didn’t mind losing. It was mine to lose and no one could stop me.

  As we lay beside each other wrapped under his brown checked comforter, he brushed the hair from my face. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that I would have no problem doing this everyday with him.

  I couldn’t wait to begin looking for a place with Marsh. He should already know that I am super excited to decorate it for us. In my mind, I basically had every thing picked out from our dishes to the bathroom towels. After all, it’s going to be our very first place it should and it will be so special.

  I let out a small groan as I looked at the clock. I needed to get dressed and get home before dad got home and started worrying. Yes, he knew where I was but I was always back before he got home and if I was a little bit past him, he didn’t fuss too much. Things were probably going to be different now though with Brenda gone and it was time to adapt. He doesn’t need to worry himself about where I am; yeah I’m thoughtful like that.

  I sat up on the bed and began dressing myself slowly wishing we were already in our own place. Our own place where I didn’t have to worry about nonsense like getting home or being dressed because I’m almost positive we won’t keep clothes on too often once we move in together. Marsh wrapped his arms around me and planted a kiss on my shoulder. “I’m going to be so glad when you don’t have to leave me and you can just fall asleep in my arms.”

  I couldn’t help but turn my head and smile. “I know. It’s going to be amazing. As soon as I talk to my dad, I’ll let you know.”

  As I stood up, Marsh stood beside me and pulled me into his chest. “I love you Sam. Let me know when you get home ok?”

  “I love you too Marsh.”

  We walked hand in hand towards my truck and as I pulled away, I still couldn’t wipe the goofy grin off my face. Marsh and I were really going to do this. We were going to find a place to live and then we’d begin our lives and live happily ever after. I can’t wait.

  Chapter 3

  Sam

  I was a little nervous as I parked my truck at home. Dad was home which I wasn’t really expecting yet and it was now time to face the music. Was he going to say anything about Brenda? I sure as hell don’t want to be the one to bring it up, awkwardness is no fun. I also realize that Dad and I haven’t been alone with just the two of us since I was a baby. This is going to take quite a bit of adjusting on both of our parts but we can do it. I don’t doubt that for a minute.

  As I opened the front door, I opened my phone to text Marsh that I made it home. He replied instantly.

  Marsh: I love you so much Sam. Place hunting soon, got it? :)

  My face instantly flushed and the butterflies took control of my stomach. They sure had their own way of making me forget everything going on in life for the moment. With the way life turned today, I didn’t mind forgetting. We had decided to go ahead and begin looking in a few days even though I hadn’t talked to dad yet. I don’t want him to feel like everyone is walking out on him, but I’m an adult now and I have a relationship with the best guy in the world. The guy who wants to spend his life with me.

  Dad was sitting at the table writing checks for the bills. It was odd seeing him do that since Brenda usually took care of it. “Hey Dad, how was work?”

  He looked up from the checkbook offering me a half smile. “It was the same ol. Nothing too crazy. You have a good night with Marsh?”

  He seems chipper but I hold true to my word to not ask him for a few days. “Yeah, we just watched a few movies.” I wave it off like no big deal.

  He smiles as he stands. When he walks by, he pats my shoulder and I can’t help but feel sad for him. “Dad, I’m sorry Brenda left.” His smile faded and transformed into something not so pleasant. I shouldn’t have brought that up, but I wanted him to know I was there for him. He wasn’t the only one hurting, I was too.

  “There are things you don’t understand Samantha. Everything’s going to shit. I can’t help it, I wish I could but I can’t.” And he turned on his heel disappearing into his room. Awkward. I stand there blinking my eyes a few times trying to register that conversation but all I want to do is go to bed and pretty much forget this day, except for the good parts. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see a bottle of Jack sitting almost hidden beside the microwave. The brown liquid half gone and a glass still moist from the drink lying in the sink. Dad drinks? This is news to me. In front of the glass sits a picture of my mom holding up her engagement ring showing it off on her petite hand. I haven’t seen this picture in forever. What did he have this out for? I shrug it off as I drag myself to my room.

  Two days passed and I began to notice that same bottle of Jack becoming not so camouflaged. It sat in the open almost daring me to ask about it but I ignored it. Dad wasn’t so talkative anymore; he pretty much went to work and came home to have a drink. Marsh took me to dinner tonight. We decided tomorrow we would begin our search but it hit me that I haven’t asked Dad yet so that moved up to number one on my list.

  “You haven’t changed your mind have you?” He teased as he trailed kisses down my neck in his truck. I’m trying to keep myself together when all he does is make me want to fall apart in his arms.

  “Definitely not.” My hand rested between his thighs moving up. He let out a moan as I fumbled with his zipper. He fidgeted for a second before looking around. We were in his driveway now, no one could see and no one was home. The opportunity to just go inside was there but we were in the moment and I didn’t want to break it.

  With one swift tug, his zipper is down and he lifts up to help slide his pants down. I lean up to kiss his lips before bringing my mouth back down in-between his thighs. At first I just tease him, hearing him moan begging for more. When I take him in, his hands immediately move to my hair, balling it up in his fists as I glide my mouth up and down bringing him close to release. Before he can come, he jerks me up sliding my dress up before pulling me onto his lap. The windows are fogged within seconds as he slides into me. I throw my head back as I move up and down, this should totally be uncomfortable because of the steering wheel behind my back but the thrill of it makes it better. I’m panting, trying to catch my breath as I begin to fall apart. “Oh god Marsh.” I basically yell hoping no one is walking by his house right now. He thrusts up once or twice before crushing his lips to mine as we stop trying to find our breath.

  “That was amazing sweetheart.” He smiled, helping me clean up with some napkins from the center console.

  “Well, you’re amazing.” I glanced at the clock inside the cab. If we were going to be place hunting tomorrow, I really needed to get home. “I should get going; we have a big day tomorrow.”

  “I know but damn, that was so good. I wish you didn’t have to go.” He was pouting, oh my, he’s killing me.

  I frowned as I planted a kiss on his lips before hopping out the truck. “See you tomorrow stud.”

  He opened my truck door for me and as I drove away I couldn’t help but smile thinking about finally getting to find a place to live with Marsh.

  The living room light was off but I could see the kitchen light was on. Dad must have forgotten to turn it off. As I rounded the corner into the kitchen, I could see Dad sitting on one of the barstools with his body slouched onto the counter. He was lightly snoring and there was a spilt glass of Jack Daniels beside him. Great. The same picture of Mom sat right there, the liquid merely inches away from potentially ruining it. Slowly I slide the picture as far away from the alcohol as I can and grab a rag and begin wiping up the mess. I know I need to wake him up and get him to his room. This can’t be too comfortable sleeping like this and I mean how much has he had to drink anyway to be passed out like this? I’ve never seen him drunk like this in my life. Maybe just a drink or tw
o occasionally but nothing to where he couldn’t handle his own.

  I walked over to rinse the rag off and was shaken when the glass suddenly hit the ground and shattered. Dad mumbled a few cuss words and I turned to hurry and help him up before he could fall and hurt himself or knock something else over.

  “Thanks Samantha I don’t know what got into me.”

  He took a few steps to the side almost falling over once or twice before he was able to help steady himself, “No problem Dad. Hey can I talk to you about something?”

  This probably isn’t the best time to do this but I’m so excited about Marsh and I getting ready to find our own place and I can’t wait to tell him. I know he’s going to be happy for us, he loves Marsh to death. He treated him like the son he never had especially during football season. All they did was hang around the television engulfing themselves in the games while I helped Brenda fix whatever we were going to be eating that day. Dad was a die hard Ravens fan but when they weren’t playing or we couldn’t catch the games down here, he would settle for the Texans. Marsh was a New Orleans fan and I liked to give him a hard time. Me, I was a Dallas fan. Not sure where I got that from but Dad and Marsh always gave me hell, livened things up a bit on Sunday.

  He let out a small groan that I understood to be a go ahead and my face lit up with pride as I quickly spoke. “Marsh asked if I wanted to move in with him so we are going to start looking for a place, isn’t that exciting?!”

  Wrong. I don’t know why I didn’t just wait til morning to pop this on him because suddenly his bloodshot eyes were on me and he lunged forward. I sucked my breath in as my arm was caught in-between his fingers and it felt like every bone inside were going to crush into nothing but dust. Tears were forming in my eyes and I wanted to scream out but I couldn’t find my voice. Who was this man who had his daughter in a grip so tight all circulation was lost? Something is so very wrong with this picture.

  “You aren’t fucking leaving me Samantha, you hear me? Christy’s gone, Brenda left, and you aren’t.”

  I’ve never heard him say anything like that about Mom out loud. It was always stories about how great she was, never once a story of how upset he was that she wasn’t here. “Dad what’s wrong? Was what she said true?” I winced from the pain.

  His eyes turned fiery. “Do you believe her? Do you think I would fucking put my hands on her? Where’s my damn drink you good for nothing....” Everything after that slurred and he slowly loosened his grip on my arm as he sunk to the kitchen floor.

  I stared at him wide eyed for a split second trying to make sense of everything that just happened. I close my eyes for a brief second thanking God he didn’t continue with that sentence. I don’t even want to know what he was going to say. On a second thought, I didn’t want to think about this anymore and I turned from the kitchen and ran towards my room where I immediately locked the door behind me.

  I sank down beside my bed and buried my head in my hands and just cried. The tears fell continuously with no signs of letting up anytime soon. Was he really doing things like that to Brenda all this time and I never knew it? Suddenly I really didn’t blame her for leaving him and I wish she had offered to take me because right now, I was more than game.

  The next person who popped into my head was Marsh. Shit, Marsh. I can’t tell him about this. I mean this is the first time it’s ever happened and he was drunk for crying out loud. He was confused. Yes, that’s gotta be it. I’m not one to make excuses to cover up someone’s mistakes but I’d like to think I know this man and this isn’t his real self.

  I finally mustered the strength to stand up and walked over towards my full length mirror. Slowly I raised my shirt over my head and stared at myself. There was my black bra, and then I saw them. Fingerprints practically stained into my arm. Those were definitely going to leave a mark and how was I going to explain this to Marsh? It’s not like I could say that I simply fell and got a bruise. These were definitive fingerprints and there was no way around this. As much as I hated it, I was going to hide something from Marsh and if he ever found out, I’d have to pray that he could forgive me.

  I changed for bed and then slowly slid under the covers pulling them up over my head and drifted off into sleep wishing I were in Marsh’s arms and none of this happened tonight. I dreamt that Marsh and I were spending our first night together in our new home. There wasn’t a single room or counter that we didn’t christen. Unpacking would have to wait; we have all the time in the world for that. Life was more than perfect now. It was the two of us against the world.

  Morning came way too fast and I groaned at the thought of having to get up. I wanted my dream back, I wanted all that back. I fumbled for my phone and checked the time. It was 8:30am and Marsh was already awake. He was ready to see me and I was more than ready to leave the house.

  I threw on a pair of shorts and an old Luke Bryan shirt from a concert Marsh had taken me to last year. I also threw a light jacket over it to hide the fingerprint marks. For like two months I did nothing but tell him how amazing he was and how much I loved him for getting those tickets for me. From the moment I knew they went on sale, I left little notes for Marsh all over the place hinting around. He surprised me with them over dinner on our anniversary and I screamed like a little girl. He sat there watching me drool over another man and was fine with it, how much more perfect could he get? Hands down, that was the absolute best concert I’ve ever been too. I mean gah, it’s just the way he moves!

  I pulled my hair into a messy bun and slowly unlocked my door. My eyes scanned all around me looking for any signs of danger that may be lurking. When the coast looked clear, I darted towards the front door. I couldn’t help but glance into the kitchen and I didn’t see Dad. As I opened the front door, I heard him in the living room.

  “Samantha is that you?”

  Dammit. I swallowed and took a deep breath trying to put on a brave face before I faced him. “Yeah Dad, I’m going to hang with Marsh for the day.”

  “Ok kiddo, have fun. Why are you wearing a jacket it’s hot outside?” Oh my gosh, I think I’m going to break down and cry. Was he seriously that drunk that he doesn’t remember a thing? I can’t exactly say well Dad, you fucking put my arm in a death grip, it’s your fault I’m wearing a jacket.

  “I’m a little chilly that’s all.”

  He didn’t buy that excuse though and he got up making his way towards me. Shit. I wonder if I ran to my truck would I be able to back out and leave before he got to me. Suddenly he raised his voice and stood close enough to me I could smell the stale Jack on his breath. The smell was rancid; I held my own breath trying to keep from having to inhale another whiff.

  “Are you hiding something? Are you?” He reared his hand back and it hit so quickly across my face that I didn’t have time to register what happened until I was stumbling back tripping over my feet. I scrambled to get myself off the floor and before he could say anything else I ran out the door slamming it behind me.

  Without a second thought I started the Tacoma and backed out a little faster than I should have. I even peeled out as I made my way away from what used to be my shelter. Who the hell was this man and what did he do with my Dad? Brenda would be pissed if I told her this but I was so ashamed to admit this to even her even though she had admitted the same thing to me. I know that wasn’t easy for her at all. Clearly I see now she told me the truth.

  I took the long way to his house to buy time and drove until I reached an empty parking lot. Once the gear was in park, I threw myself into a fit of rage slamming my fists into the steering wheel and screaming. Tears were streaming down my face as I tried my best to calm down and gain some sort of composure back. My face was now home to a red handprint. Fuck me. I can’t go to see Marsh like this either.

  I reached into my purse for the compact that I keep on me at all times. I never thought in a million years it would have to be used for something like this. Carefully I applied the makeup the best I could to conceal the handpri
nt that now overtook my face and when I was satisfied and able to hold the tears back; I left the parking lot and went straight to Marsh.

  I’ve always been excited to see him no matter what, that’s just how much I love him. He met me outside as I pulled up with a goofy grin on his face. I jumped out the truck, slammed the door, and ran into his arms that lifted me to where I could wrap my legs around his waist. One of his arms wrapped under me, steadying my body as he held me close. Tears fought their way towards the front of my eyes but I blinked them back and just got lost in his kiss.

  “I missed you so much Sam. Are you blushing, aw babe you’re so damn cute.” Well at least I know that I was able to cover the print up enough to where he thought I was blushing. I wish I were only blushing and I wish I could find it in me to be honest with him. I owed him that much.

  “You always make me blush silly. I love you so much.”

  He spun me around before placing me back down on my feet. It felt like I was walking on clouds when I was around Marsh and they were awfully fluffy. If I were to ever fall from these clouds, it would sure be to hurt if it didn’t completely kill me.