“No, I won’t put you in that position. If she wants to tell me then she can.”
And every part of me prayed she would tell me what the hell was going on. What kind of call would have Rocky worked up like that? Was she in some sort of trouble? I continued to hold Wendy while waiting for either a phone call or appearance from Rocky or Sam. But an hour had passed there was nothing new.
Chapter 26
Sam
I was so relieved when Rocky answered the phone and I could tell by the tone of his voice he was both worried and pissed. I didn’t know who else to call. I thanked the lady for allowing me to make the call and she gave me a warm smile as she led me back to my cell. I sat there staring at the walls until a guard came and got me. I could never sit in jail for longer than one night; I was already losing what little of a mind I had left. I imagined sitting in bed with Cole, no lying in bed with him with my head on his chest listening to his breathing even out as he fell asleep. There was no way to tell time in the simple jail cell, but honestly I didn’t have to wait too long.
I don’t think I’ve ever jumped up so fast in my life. I was more than eager to get out of that horrible outfit. Once my clothes were back on, I felt more myself. As they opened the main door for me, the smell of freedom surrounded me and I immediately spotted Rocky in the waiting area. I didn’t want to cry. As a matter of fact, I sat there telling myself I wasn’t going to. But one look at him and I couldn’t help it. I ran to him and threw my arms around this big man.
“I’m so sorry for calling you, I didn’t know who else to call.” I sobbed into his chest. So much for staying strong.
“Don’t apologize for anything I’m glad you called. Now what the hell happened for you to end up in here?”
I sat in his truck drawing in a deep breath as I began the story from the minute I got home from Wendy’s baby shower. He stared in disbelief as I gave him every detail. His knuckles turned white as he held onto the steering wheel. Part of me kept waiting for the steering wheel to be ripped from the dashboard. When I finished, he just looked at me as if he were choosing his words carefully.
“Wendy and I have an extra room. It is no trouble at all so don’t argue with me Sam, stay with us until you can get on your feet. You can’t go back there, what he did was cowardly and I can’t allow you to go back knowing what I know.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“Shit, I forgot Cole is at the house. We were putting baby furniture together when you called. I can call Wendy and have him leave.” He reached for his phone as he pulled out of the station but I touched his arm getting his attention.
“No Rocky, its fine. I owe him an explanation. He’s been trying to figure me out for some time now. He’s done nothing but be nice to me and I’ve been a bitch to him because I’ve been upset with myself. I can’t go on like this.”
He raised an eyebrow waiting to see if I were going to change my mind but I flashed the most confident smile I could. Since last night, I’ve learned to appreciate the fluffy clouds in the sky a little more. I didn’t want to take the green grass for granted again either. This is freedom. Where Dad sent me was pure hell. The thought of having to spend more than just that one night there made me vomit a little in my mouth.
The first thing I spotted was Cole’s truck. My heart began racing as I contemplated what I was supposed to say to him. I got out the truck standing there trying to even out my breathing. Before we got anywhere near the door, it flew open and a frazzled, hormonal Wendy came running out to me. “Sam, oh my god I’m so sorry you had to stay there. Why didn’t you call last night? Oh nevermind that, he told you you’re staying here right? Ohmigod we’re going to be roommates!!”
She flung her hair over her shoulder as she excitedly spoke and I got a mouthful of her jet black hair in my mouth. Bleh. I gave her the best smile I could muster as I replied, “Yeah, it’s going to be awesome. I just need to get my truck and some clothes. I’ll be good to go.”
“Sam, you can’t go inside there. What if something happens?” She got frantic again and I remembered her hormones were out of whack.
“He should be at work, I’ll be ok. It’s my truck….”
“I’ll go with her.” Cole jumped in causing me to jump. He stood there in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest watching me with a pained expression on his face. Pained because of me. And even if it were my entire fault, he looked sexy as hell standing there. My heart skipped a beat or two as our eyes met. Seeing him made my heart flutter, I can do this.
Rocky stood beside Wendy pulling her into his chest as he replied, “That’s a good idea. It’s him or me, take your pick Sam. You aren’t going alone.”
“Cole can come with me its fine.” He looked extremely shocked by my decision and so did everyone else. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf or maybe the whole damn tree, I don’t know. “Can I go now and get it over with?”
Wendy didn’t look too upset by that. She flashed Cole a sarcastic look and then smiled at me. “That’s fine, we’ll be here. Ya’ll be safe.”
I walked over to Cole’s truck climbing into the passenger seat. We had several memories that involved this truck or my own. I owe him an explanation and well he’s either going to run off or he’ll stay by me. I’d love him forever if he didn’t run. I do love him, I hate to admit it because I feel weak thinking it but it’s true. Everything about him from his cocky attitude to his sweet, sweet ways draws me to him and I wish I hadn’t pushed him away before.
“You ok?” He asks as he begins backing out the driveway. Numbly I reply yes and as he turns on his iPod that damn song is playing. If anyone could cry a river and drown the whole world right now, it would definitely be me. He reaches over to turn the volume down but I grab his hand to stop him without realizing our fingers laced together. Just like that first day in the apartment when we ordered pizza, our hands fit perfectly. A million butterflies are swarming inside me right now, this feels more than right. It feels absolutely perfect.
I give him directions where to go and when he pulls up on the curb, I can’t help but fight tears as the events from last night play over in my head. Especially the part where Marsh put me in handcuffs and escorted me to the back of the police car. Never in my life would I have ever imagined I’d be in handcuffs that weren’t for pleasure. I’ve never tried that before but I’d sure as hell try…possibly with Cole. Christ Almighty, get your head out the gutter and focus on what you’re here for! All my life, I was a careful person. No broken laws, not even a speeding ticket and well, that all changed. I’m a regular fugitive.
“You need me to come in with you? Rocky doesn’t….”
I squeezed his hand and gave him a weak smile. “I need to do this Cole. I’ll be right back ok.” He kissed my knuckle before I got out the truck.
My anxiety level was through the roof as I opened the front door. I looked around for any signs of Dad. Everything was the same as I remember from last night; the living room was spotless like no one had sat in there in a while. The kitchen counter was full of empty beer cans and bottles of whiskey. I couldn’t remember if those had been there last night. When I didn’t see him, I went straight for my room grabbing my pink duffle bag. I stuffed jeans, shorts, shirts, panties and everything else I could possibly fit into it. The only thing I couldn’t seem to put my hands on was my truck keys. Maybe they are in the kitchen. I throw the bag over my shoulder cautiously making my way down the hall. Maybe I should have let Cole come inside with me, but I haven’t told him anything yet.
“What are you doing in my house? One night in jail wasn’t enough for you?” Dammit, he always sneaks up on me when I least expect it. I thought he was at work, but I’m dead wrong of course. What else could he possibly do to me? He’s already thrown out all the money I’ve earned. “Looking for these?”
My keys are dangling from his grip and he’s smirking. Asshole. “Dad, look I’m going to stay with some friends of mine until you’re better. Can I please have my keys?”
/>
“You mean my keys? If I remember right it’s my truck.”
“Dad, you and Brenda bought me that truck. It was my graduation present. Please.” I hate begging. I hate begging with him because it’s pointless but I need my truck.
“Get out of my house before I call the cops again. How’d you like Marsh placing those cuffs on you? I told you I’d get him on the force with me.”
I scowled as I balled my fists at my side. I’m better than this shit he’s pulling. No, wait I’m not. I’m more pissed than the kid on Halloween who ended up with all the crappy candy. Yeah, that’s pretty pissed. I walk outside and ignore the fact that Cole can see me; I really don’t give two fucks right now. I know I’m begging for trouble as I grab my old aluminum baseball bat in the garage. Dad walks outside just in time to see me swing the bat at the windshield. Two swings later, glass flies everywhere and I don’t stop there. I swing at the drivers’ window and before the bat can connect, a hand grabs a hold of me. Cole.
“Sam, stop. Let’s go. You’re better than this.” He whispered in my ear. Shaking, I dropped the bat and walked to his truck. Dad was pissed. As we pulled away, I could see his beet red face in the side mirror. My luck I’ll end up back in jail and this time I’ll actually deserve to be there.
Silence. There was nothing but silence in the cab of the truck. I can only imagine what the hell Cole is thinking right now. He’s probably driving me straight to the hospital so I can admit myself for being a lunatic. Who the hell smashes the windshield out their vehicle? Enough is enough and I know what I need to do. It’s what I planned on doing all along. Cole deserves an explanation especially since he just witnessed me losing my mind. He deserves an explanation for everything so here goes nothing.
“Cole,” I say, taking a deep breath in. “Can we go somewhere we can talk?”
He grabbed my hand, offering a smile. “Yeah, my apartment ok?” He’s smiling at least. That’s got to be a good sign.
I nodded my head before laying it against the window. Wow, I can’t believe I just did that. That definitely was not the plan today. All I wanted was to get the truck and bring it to Rocky’s but yeah, that wasn’t happening now.
Cole led us into his apartment and I sat on the same couch that I suffered my last breakdown on with him. This couch and I were beginning to become really good friends. It was sort of therapeutic in a way. He sat beside me pulling my hand into his. This should be easy to just come out and say to him but I find myself being so worried about what he’s going to think about me. I’ve never shared a single thing about me with him and come to think about it I know nothing about him. All I know is what Wendy told me about their parents. It breaks my heart. Our lips have met once or twice, who’s counting? Yet I’m so consumed with him and worried, wonderful. It’s all or nothing and I cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye that he doesn’t leave me.
“I haven’t been honest with you. You’ve asked me what my deal was, you said you wanted to help me and I shoved you away. I’m so sorry.” I had to stop and regain my composure. I’m literally seconds away from breaking down. Tears are sitting behind my eyes begging to fall down, but I won’t let them. I started off telling him about Dad and Brenda and how she walked in that day telling me she was leaving. I left out everything about Marsh, none of that matters right now to me at all. Marsh is the distant memory I wish I could forget. Cole could tell I was struggling but I had to do this. After the second break to regain my composure, he stopped me for a brief moment.
“Sam, you don’t have to do this. It’s ok.” He places one of his hands over mine, instantly calming my nerves but I still have to finish this. I didn’t come this far to stop.
“No,” I choked. “I want to tell you this. I owe you this much.”
He’s amazing in the way he takes his free hand and gently wipes the tears away from my eyes that managed to escape. My cheeks flush as a thousand jolts of electricity shoot through my body. I want to kiss him and thank him but I don’t need to let myself get distracted by his looks. That’s what always seems to get me.
I continued with telling him I never knew my mother just to fill that in for him and when Dad’s issues first started and what drug me over to the gym. Not a single detail was left out for him, except for how hot I thought he was. Minor details, his ego didn’t need to get any larger. It was hard to look into his eyes; the pain behind them was making this harder. When I got to the part about the black eye, he looked more pissed than anything as I explained that’s why I avoided the gym and his anger was more visible when he learned I was in jail last night because of my Dad.
I drew in a deep breath and let it out as I told him, “And you, you’ve been an ass but you’ve also been incredibly sweet to me and all you’ve wanted to do was help. I’m so sorry I shut you out. I didn’t regret a single minute of that first night with you and I’m even sorrier that I avoided you. I never wanted to do that but I didn’t see any other way around it. I couldn’t let anyone see me like that, especially you because for some reason, I give a shit about what you think. But now you know everything and I get it if you don’t want to talk to me again.”
I managed to say all that without losing my shit but the minute I finally quit talking, I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I put my head down sobbing quietly wondering whether this was a good idea or not. I couldn’t stand this moment of awkward silence, he wasn’t saying anything and that’s what scared me. My fears are becoming reality. He wants no part in any of this mess I call my life. I want to just find the strength to be able to stand on my own two feet and walk out with what little dignity I have left but Cole cupped my chin and slowly raised it until our eyes met. Again, he wiped the tears away as I closed my eyes. “Open your eyes Sam, please.” He asked in a soft voice.
My blue eyes opened, taking in his chiseled face. His eyelashes were wet with unshed tears and his lips were slightly trembling. I hated he was upset because of me. I seemed to be pretty good at upsetting people.
“I’m so sorry Cole.” I whispered.
“Stop. I wish you’d told me before now but I’m not even close to mad at you.”
“You’re not? Do you think any less of me?” I asked quietly. In the back of my mind, I was waiting for him to tell me I had way too many issues for him. I have too many issues for myself and to have to burden him with it, I couldn’t bare to put him through that.
He squeezed my hand before pulling me closer to him. Our faces were merely inches apart. I could feel his breath on my lips and suddenly my heart rate was up. “I can’t stand not being near you. I’m not going anywhere; I want to be with you. I love you Sam.”
Whoa. Did Cole just say he loved me? The ‘L’ word, damn. I knew I felt this way about him but I had no idea he felt the same way. “What did you say?”
He leaned in brushing his lips against mine. My breathing became ragged and as he spoke the words I love you again, between each word he planted a kiss on my lips. No way is this happening. This has got to be a dream and if it is, I don’t want to wake up.
My heart is hammering in my chest as I stare into his eyes. “Do you mean that Cole? Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
“I do.” He whispered before laughing, “I can’t believe you busted the windshield out your truck.”
I grinned leaning forward letting our foreheads rest against together, “I can’t believe it either. You must think I’m crazy.”
“Well you’re lucky, I like crazy.”
I continued to grin as I crushed our mouths together finally speaking the words out loud I’ve been wanting to say for so long. “I love you too Cole.”
Chapter 27
Cole
I’m finished. My life is never going to be the same. Ever. Again. Everything about Sam made sense as she told me every single thing. Her Dad needs help, no father should ever put their hands on their child like that. She’s stronger than she knows. And I admire the hell out of her for that. She’s beautiful and I’m
hooked on her.
This wasn’t the way I imagined telling her I loved her but it just came out. The moment felt right. And here we are, faces inches apart both breathing heavily after that last kiss.
“I’m pretty sure I loved you the first time I saw you. I knew I wanted to change because of you. I didn’t want to be that person anymore.” I admit to her. She smiles the sweetest smile as she pulls me in for another life changing kiss.
“I don’t know how I ever avoided you Cole. Every time got harder and harder.” The look on her face shows me just how much she means what she’s saying. She looks so damn innocent and sweet.
“None of that matters anymore baby. You don’t have to run anymore, I’m here and I love you more than anything.”
I cup her face with my hands and pull her in crushing our mouths together. She parts her lips just enough for my tongue to intertwine with hers. She leans into me, melting her chest against mine. Holy shit, as if my breathing wasn’t already abnormal it was definitely much more ragged. Her soft hands reach under my shirt and run all the way up my chest and then down again. All the blood in my body rushed south and she could definitely tell. Her hand continued to slide down and as much as I wanted her to touch me, I didn’t let her. I whispered into her ear, “Not out here.” No way out here, not our first time. Any other time, I’d definitely go for it but I want our first time together to be special and not just on the couch.
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