“Now it’s my turn to ask. Will you go somewhere with me?”
She raises her eyebrow again like inside the house before we leave the driveway. “And just where are we going?”
“Just sit back and relax. You’ll see.”
“Wait.” She laughed. “I didn’t say yes.”
“Yes you did.” I smile driving in the direction of the fair that I’m almost positive she will love. And as I pay to park and her eyes catch the bright lights on the horizon, a certain fire lights beside them and she lets out a squeal. “What are you so happy about?”
“The fair?! Oh. My. Gosh. Cole this is freaking amazing!!”
She flew out the truck almost running towards the fair but I caught her arm pulling her into me holding her there. “Hey, you a little excited?”
“You have no idea!” She beamed as I led her inside the fair. The aroma of carnival food filled the air. Her eyes lit up when she noticed someone holding a funnel cake. Much to my dismay I bought one after trying to change her mind. We walked around eating it until a little boy ran past us accidentally bumping into her sending the sacred funnel cake flying through the air before it hit the ground. I don’t think the kid even noticed that happened, he didn’t come back. Sam just laughed it off and squeezed my hand as we continued to walk to a ticket booth. I’ve always been up for riding the craziest carnival rides. Flipping upside down doesn’t bother me.
“Cole,” She asked in the most angelic beautiful voice, “Can we ride the Ferris wheel?” How could I ever tell her no? I can’t. At all.
The line for the Ferris wheel was no where near as long as the line for the Ring of Fire or the Scrambler for that matter. The laugh I heard as we approached the line was not one to be mistaken. I’d heard it many times at Joe’s both drunk and sober on my way to being drunk. The blonde was here and she saw me. I can’t deny it because the man-eating grin she just flashed tried to tell me she would get what she wants by the end of the night and that is me. Hate to break it to her but she’s not getting me ever again. My hand finds the small of Sam’s back and instantly she’s pulled in closer to me with barely any room between us. I cup her chin and bring my lips to hers barely touching them to tease her before fully crushing our mouths together. She moans into my mouth as the kiss deepens. I hate to be possessive, but my point was made as the sound of laughter slowly faded away. Either it faded or I was so into the kiss that I wished her away. As I broke the kiss, Sam wore a goofy grin on her face as she asked, “What was that for?”
“I can’t kiss you?” I ask as I brush a strand of hair behind her ear. She’s perfect and everything I never want to be without ever again. “I just love you, I’m so proud of you for today.”
“I love you too.” She says. We inch closer in line and soon enough we are sitting in our own little car on the Ferris wheel. Sam rests her head on my chest as we go around in circles. The view of the city around us is breathtaking. Nothing in this world can ruin this moment. Nothing can take away this feeling in my stomach. This feeling that tells me she is everything I want and need. She’s the one who changed my whole world. The one who made me want to believe in love. The one who made me want it all. Nothing can take this away.
My hand reaches for hers, lacing our fingers together. Instantly, her head rests against my shoulder and her perfect scent climbs up nestling itself into my nose. She smells like heaven. She knows how I feel about her, I made that clear but I still feel like there’s so much I want to say to her. So many things I want to express but I don’t. I sit here in this little Ferris wheel car as we continue to circle around and around. For a brief moment, we’re stuck at the very top not moving. She squirms a little and I can feel her heart beat escalating. “You ok Sam?”
She closes her eyes continuing to bury her head into my shoulder. She won’t look up at me or acknowledge anything other than my voice. “Why’d we get stuck up here? Make it move, I’m ready to get off. I hate heights.”
“You’re safe babe. I’m here. We’ll move soon, I promise.” I kiss her hair pulling her in tighter to me until she begins to relax a little. A short minute later, we’re on the ground and our car is being opened. We step out hand in hand.
She’s smiling that infectious smile again as she leads me to some carnival game that I’m almost positive will drain all the cash out of my pocket. Lucky me, she just wanted me to pop a few balloons and only about thirty dollars later, she proudly held onto a giant pink teddy bear. Her smile faded briefly as she looked to her right. I’d recognize that guy anywhere. Ever since her first night, when I saw them talking I couldn’t help but hold a twinge of jealousy. Her expression turned cold for a minute, I was about to step in and ask if she was ok when Trey came running up holding a super sized corn dog in his hand.
“Sam don’t you wish Cole was this big?” Trey put the corn dog in front of his dick and started jumping around like a damn idiot. I rolled my eyes trying not to smart off, he meant well. He was a joker, I know this all too well.
“Trey man shut the fuck up.”
“You know Cole, when you react like that, it makes him think he knows what he’s talking about. Good thing I already know the truth.” Sam winked and damn I about lost it that was hot. Trey moved the corn dog to his mouth and took a big bite out of it. I could slap the shit out of him sometimes but what would this life be without Trey and his dumbass remarks.
“That’s my boy. Hung like a mule! Cole, hold this bear. It’s Sam and me on the ring of fire.”
Her blue eyes shot up in his direction. What he didn’t know but I did was the fact she was a little terrified of being stuck up high. My gaze stayed on the ride as it went through it’s typical round going fast and then slowing down to a dead stop at the very top before going back around again. No way in hell was she getting on that. She clung to the giant bear for dear life as she firmly told him no. He only pressed the issue two times before telling me to ride. I gave her a quick kiss as my best friend and I stood in line waiting.
“How’s your dads new job?” I inquired rather cautiously.
“It’s a job. It’s helping me out I know that for sure. Mom misses him during the day though. I don’t know how much more I can take of this, its hard man.”
Before we stepped onto the ride, I clapped my hand on his shoulder, “Everything will be ok. She appreciates everything you do, never forget that.”
“I know man, that’s what keeps me going. I met a girl, but shit it’s complicated.”
I raised my eyebrow making sure I just heard him right. Did my best friend who happens to be a man-whore just tell me he met a girl? “You met a girl? Am I hearing things?”
He laughed before changing his expression. “No you aren’t hearing things. I fucked it up though. We were getting ready to have sex and she told me she was a virgin. I couldn’t touch her. She deserves better than my fucked up self.”
“Hey don’t be so hard on yourself; what you did doesn’t make you a dick if that’s what you’re thinking. You didn’t take advantage of her even after she told you that. Have you talked to her since?”
“No she is avoiding me and I don’t know why but it’s driving me fucking nuts.”
“You turned her down after she said she was a virgin, I’m sure she was pretty damn embarrassed man. Give her time.” I had to laugh since I could see what I used to sound like with Sam. My best friend had it pretty bad over a girl. I wanted to pry a little more but the line moved and we stepped onto the ride getting ready to have our worlds literally turned upside down.
Sam stood by the exit waiting patiently. Her jaw was practically lying on the ground as we approached her. “I think I would have puked on that.”
“That could be hot, depending whether you’re into that sort of thing or not.”
Dammit Trey. Sam threw her head back laughing before retorting, “Yeah, no. Don’t you have some poor defenseless woman to prey on?”
I wanted to laugh, I wanted to have fun but I know what I saw just a moment ago.
While Trey and I rode the Ring of Fire, her ex approached her and they seemed to have quite the conversation going. How convenient he waited until I wasn’t around but honestly, I guess I don’t blame him. Trey shoots back at Sam with some witty remark then walks off into the night and I’m alone with her wondering what the hell to even say.
Chapter 34
Sam
Just when I seem to think everything is moving in the direction I would like it to, things turn for the absolute worst. Not the worst exactly but it’s not good. I squeeze the giant pink teddy bear to my chest and then squeeze it a little harder when I see Marsh here in his uniform. My heart jumps for a split second at the thought of him in that uniform. His brown eyes are sparkling like little chocolate morsels and I quickly shake the thought away. Obviously working. In that moment I’m so glad that Adryian isn’t here to gloat in my face. I’ve had enough of that. Right now all I can feel is absolute hate for him. He arrested me. He placed cold silver handcuffs around my tiny wrists and placed me in the back of a cop car. I just can’t let that go. I hated Cole and Trey for getting on the Ring of Fire. I was vulnerable and Marsh picked up on that as he approached me.
“Hey Sam, good to see you.” That voice, damn it still gets me. But I can’t let it.
“Hi.” I squeak out just wishing he would disappear. This is possibly the most awkward moment. I’m sure of it.
“I’m glad to see you’re ok.” He paused briefly searching for what he wanted to say. His hand touched mine and as I felt the shock it sent through my body, I jerked away almost immediately. “I’m so sorry about that night Sam. You have no idea how horrible that was for me. I worried about you so much. I couldn’t even tell Adryian about it.” Cue the cringe and complete look of disgust on my face. “She asked how my day was and I couldn’t tell her. I’m sorry I brought her up.”
Sincerity. I hear it in his voice and for a moment I let the anger subside. “It’s ok Marsh. Really. You were just doing your job.”
“I do miss you Sam. I know you asked if I love her and I do. I know you don’t want to hear that but I’m going to be honest with you. That doesn’t mean I can’t miss you, we’ve had too many good times together. You, uh, you still fighting?”
The screams of people on the rides filled my ears and cotton candy traveled up my nose as I watched him intently. “I am. I really like it.”
“Wow.” He chuckles. “I can’t say I would have ever pictured you doing something like that but I’m glad to see you’re happy. That’s all I wanted Sam, was to make you happy.”
Why is he telling me this? He can’t see but it’s tearing me in two and it sucks. In my gut it feels like there is so much I want to tell him. So many words left unsaid but I can’t. I love Cole, Marsh loves Adryian…its how it has to be.
“I’ll leave you alone Sam. I just wanted to say hi. If you ever want to talk, you know you can call me. We’re still friends.” Friends. How can I look at Marsh and just want to be friends with him? That would be complete torture, not to mention completely inappropriate.
A simple smile and wave later, he’s gone maneuvering through the crowd making sure the fair is safe for all these kids who seem to be running around without parents. Cole and Trey come walking off the Ring of Fire and I can’t help but tell them I would have puked all over the place if I had rode that. After bickering with Trey for a few minutes, he walked off to go do what he does best. Cole and I stood there in the warm evening air. The expression on his face was unreadable, he hadn’t even laughed at Trey and that was almost impossible.
“You ready to get out of here babe?” I tugged at his arm but he didn’t budge. His eyes met mine, his blue a little more worn than normal.
“Why was he talking to you Sam? I saw him. He waited until I wasn’t here and he walked right up to you.”
Marsh. Dammit. Nothing I do is right. “He just wanted to say hi. Nothing more I swear.”
“I’m just saying it didn’t look like nothing.” My ears can’t believe what they are hearing right now. I didn’t do anything wrong. He tried to touch my hand and I pulled mine away. He’s jealous and of what, I’m not quite sure. It was nothing more than a friendly conversation.
“Why are you picking a fight with me Cole?”
A thousand pins could have dropped on this noisy fairground and you could have heard every single one of them. He’s frustrated I can tell, his face is turning red like it does when he’s in the ring. The face he gets before he annihilates his opponent. Everything is screaming that I am the opponent right now.
“I’m not picking a fight Sam.” He raised his voice. He raised his voice at me. He’s never done that before. I’m staring at him wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Marsh didn’t hug me, he didn’t barely touch me. This was stupid, plain and simple. My head stayed down as people passed us whispering. They could hear, I know they could and I was highly embarrassed.
“Calm down Cole. I told you it was nothing.”
“You want him back don’t you? I may have been several feet up in the air but I could see it. I’m not stupid Sam.” His finger points at me and part of me wants nothing more than to slap it away but I just stare at him incredulously trying to decipher this screwed up, very public situation.
“Where are you getting this from? I don’t want him back. I love you. Where is this jealousy coming from?”
“Look I’m sorry. Let’s go home ok?” Just like that he dropped it. Never in my life have I seen Cole behave this way but it wasn’t every day we ran into Marsh. I set the teddy bear in the backseat of the truck before climbing in and securing my seatbelt. I reached over turning the volume on low, anything to hear some sort of noise to kill this silence. I can’t help but admit I am furious over his display of jealousy at the fair. Even more furious that he raised his voice at me, and yes I’m furious but at the same time it scares me. When we arrive home, I blindly toss the teddy bear onto the couch and walk straight into the bathroom. The shower is on to drown out any silence and to keep him from talking to me. My mind races trying to understand where he was coming from. He actually raised his voice at me and that hurt more than I would ever let him know. If he could raise his voice, what else could he do? I’ve gotten out of one angry, damaged home. I refuse to step back into another. For the first time since I agreed to date him I stupidly realize that I don’t know him at all. He’s yet another stranger in my life. One that I’ve made the mistake of falling in love with. Would he hurt me? I’d hope to hell not but right now, I just don’t know and my past is sending off flare after flare telling me to keep my distance.
There’s a faint knock at the door followed by his pleading voice. “Sam, baby I’m sorry please talk to me. I don’t know why I got so jealous. I just love you so much. I can’t lose you.”
Silence. I refuse to talk. He pleads for another few minutes before the silence is back. I need to breathe. I need to get out this house alone. I text Trey asking if he’s left the fair and he agrees to pick me up for at drinks at Joe’s.
The bathroom door opens and I step out making my way to the bedroom to change. He’s watching me intently waiting for me to crack but I still don’t speak. As I adjust my spaghetti strap blouse and dab on some lip gloss, I turn to face Cole. “I need some time to myself. I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up for me.”
“Wait, where are you going?”
His hand is on mine, his eyes still pleading. I stand my ground in my black flats as I firmly tell him it’s none of his business. He doesn’t care for that answer but as I kiss him goodbye, he doesn’t argue. I tell him I’ll see him later then I’m gone. As I step outside, even though the air is full of humidity, I feel like I can breathe again. Within a few seconds, Trey is in front of the apartment and I jump in telling him to drive away before Cole can notice.
“So Sam, you going to tell me what all this is about?” Trey turned the radio down on purpose. Asshole. I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to go sit at Joe’s, find something new to drink and forg
et all this mess.
“He completely lost his marbles because my ex came and said hi at the fair. It meant nothing. He raised his voice at me in front of people; I’ve never been more embarrassed or hurt in my life.”
Trey stares ahead at the road nodding as I talk. His phone buzzes and he looks at it before hitting ignore. I stare at him intently until he breaks. “It’s Cole.” A minute later a text comes through on his phone and he shows it to me.
Cole: Sam left to go out. If you head out will you keep an eye on her? I fucked up.
I roll my eyes at the same time Trey stares at me like he’s never been part of a scheme before. “What?”
“He doesn’t know I picked you up does he? Great, now he’s going to kick my ass.”
“I needed to get out.” I interrupted. “You didn’t see the look on his face at the fair. It’s the same look he gets in the ring. I’m scared ok. Is that what you want to hear? What if he put his hands on me? I need my space.”
One Of The Guys Page 22