I looked in the direction she was pointing and spotted him. My mother walked toward the table she’d indicated. The room was filling rapidly and I quickly lost her in the squeeze of bodies.
I slipped between people with a polite smile and the occasional “excuse me” if they hadn’t seen me. Then I got to a group of people that were so tightly packed together and laughing raucously that I had to tap one of the group on the shoulder. The guy spun around faster than I’d expected, almost knocking me over in the process. He reached out and grabbed my elbow to steady me, then our eyes met and I gasped before I could stop it. He was obviously just as surprised as I, as his blue eyes widened and his grip on my arm became tighter. My resultant frown made him realize what he was doing, as he let go of me and finally opened his mouth.
“Hey!” His previous shock forgotten, his face transformed from surprised to happy. “What are you doing here?”
My mouth suddenly dry, I gulped a couple of times and forced myself to speak before he thought I was a complete moron.
“We’re here for my little brother, Shane. He just passed out.”
“That’s why I recognized the name! My little brother just completed training, too.”
He carried on talking, and although I was gazing at his face, I had no idea what he was saying. My mind was desperately trying to process the fact that he was here at all. Phil Ashdown, at my brother’s passing-out parade. Granted, it was his brother’s parade, too, but my brain refused to compute that part. Instead, it went into total meltdown.
“Anyway, Phil, it was lovely talking to you, but I have to go see my parents and Shane. Take care.”
He looked surprised at my cutting him off mid-sentence, then recovered quickly and replied, “Sure. Maybe I can catch up with you later?”
I slipped past him without replying and dashed toward the table where my mum and dad were sitting, waiting for me. At the same time, I spotted Shane crossing the room and detoured to give him a hug.
“Shane!”
He picked me up and swung me around as though I weighed nothing, then set me back down. A smile spread across his handsome, good-natured face.
“Hey, sis! I missed you, too!”
We laughed, then I slipped my arm through his and led him toward our table. As our parents stood and greeted Shane, I sat down. I’d deliberately chosen a seat with the wall behind it. I’ve always hated the idea of someone creeping up behind me, and I adore people-watching, so it was a careful choice. In this case, though, it was one person in particular I wanted to watch.
Phil Ashdown. I could still scarcely believe he was here. Or, come to think about it, that I’d been rude to him and run off. It was totally out of character for me to be rude to anyone, even someone I didn’t like. And I certainly didn’t dislike Phil Ashdown.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
I pushed Phil out of my mind and listened as Shane chatted animatedly about the crazy things he’d been put through in his training period. The more I listened, the prouder I was of my brother for completing his training, and I told him so. My parents agreed wholeheartedly, particularly my mother, who gave him another hug and left a generous smudge of cerise lipstick on his cheek.
He waved his hand dismissively, as though it had been nothing but a stroll in the park, but the pink twinge that flushed his cheeks gave him away. I grinned at him, ready to dish out some of the sisterly teasing I hadn’t been able to administer for months, when out of the corner of my eye I saw two people approaching our table. I assumed one of them was a colleague of Shane’s, given he wore the same dress uniform, and Phil was with him. I shuffled down in my seat, pointlessly hoping that he wouldn’t notice me sitting there.
As they drew up to the table, the guy in the uniform tapped Shane on the shoulder. Shane turned, then jumped out of his seat with a grin and gave his colleague a hug. My stomach lurched. This wasn’t anywhere good.
“Hey, man! We did it!” The boys clapped each other on the back, then turned to face my parents and me as Shane managed the introductions.
“Everyone, this is my good buddy, Paul Ashdown. Paul, this is my mum, my dad, and my sister, Christina.”
Paul gave a wave and a grin, then swept his arm back to indicate Phil standing just behind him.
“Nice to meet you. This is my brother, Phil. He’s in the army, too. But he’s much older than me, so he’s practically a veteran.”
Paul nudged his brother jovially and got a fierce scowl in response.
I bit my lip to hold back a smirk, and Phil shot me a look. My face immediately straightened, then filled with heat. He continued to stare, but my mother had invited the Ashdown boys to sit with us and no one else was taking any notice of me. Phil took his seat wordlessly, continuing to gaze at me until I was begging any deity or supernatural being that would listen to make the ground open up and swallow me whole.
Unfortunately, I remained exactly where I was. I pointedly ignored Phil and listened to the boys chatting with my parents. However, my peripheral vision told me that I was still being stared at, and it was seriously starting to piss me off. If not for the others, I would have given him a piece of my mind.
Phil obviously had a few things he wanted to say to me, too, as he stood up and said, “Would anybody like a drink? Christina, would you mind helping me?”
I watched a strange look pass between my brother and Paul. My mother’s face, already perfectly happy, brightened even further. Wonderful, I thought, they’re matchmaking us now. That’s all I need.
I didn’t see any way I could get out of it without appearing either rude or bonkers, so I stood up with a tight smile and made my way around the table as Phil took everyone’s orders, ignoring the silly eyebrow wriggling and inane grinning my mother was partaking in. Then we headed in the direction of the makeshift bar.
As soon as we were out of earshot of the table, Phil said, “What the hell is wrong with you, Christina? First you don’t want to talk to me, and now you’re acting like we never met before! I didn’t realize you hated me that much.”
I glanced across at him and shook my head. Moron. How could he possibly think I hated him? I took in his cropped blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, chiseled jaw and his smokin’ hot body, and decided the only people that could possibly hate Phil Ashdown were other guys. After all, with him in the room, most girls wouldn’t want to look at anyone else. I certainly didn’t.
“I don’t hate you, Phil.” The words in fact, I’m still in love with you were left unsaid, but they floated around my head, threatening to creep out when I least expected it.
“So what’s up? Why are you being like this?”
His voice had risen in his irritation and a few people glanced in our direction. I grabbed Phil’s arm and steered him outside where we could talk in private.
“Firstly, don’t speak to me like that. Secondly, if you must know, I’m being like this because I don’t know how else to be.”
“I don’t understand.”
I wasn’t surprised. Phil may be hot, but he wasn’t always the quickest on the uptake, particularly when it came to matters of the heart.
“Really? You don’t understand? Well, let me spell it out for you. We met at university, we dated, I fell for you and thought we had a future. Then you announced that after you graduated you were going to join the army and didn’t think it would be fair on me to continue our relationship, effectively ripping my heart out of my chest and stomping on it. Then we end up here together and you expect me to act normal. Get it now?”
Phil looked so stunned and confused that I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
“But I thought you wanted to break up.”
Now it was my turn to be confused.
“What? How could you even think that?”
“You didn’t disagree. When I said I thought it would be too difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship, you just accepted it. I figured it was what you wanted.”
For once, I kind of understood his logic
. I remembered the conversation well and he was right. I’d followed his comment with a shrug and an okay and left. What he didn’t know was that I’d headed straight back to my dorm room, locked the door and cried into my pillow until I’d fallen asleep, exhausted. In my mind, it hadn’t been up for discussion. He was dumping me, and that was that. I’d avoided him for the rest of the term, then we’d graduated and got on with our separate lives.
I repeated this thought process to Phil, and by the time I’d finished his eyebrows were almost in his hair.
“You’re kidding.” It wasn’t a question. “So you’re telling me that you didn’t want to split up either?”
“What do you mean, either? It was your stupid idea!”
Phil shook his head. “Sounds like we’ve both been stupid. Listen, Christina, I never wanted to break up with you. I knew that when I joined the army it would be tough to maintain a relationship, so I gave you the option to get out. When you took it without hesitation and then ignored me for the rest of the year, I figured I’d been dumped!”
We looked at one another in silence, though I was sure he must be able to hear my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn’t get my head around the conversation we were having. All those years ago, neither of us had wanted to break up, and yet we’d done it anyway. Stupid wasn’t the word.
I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to make things right, and given Phil’s continued silence, neither could he. All I knew for sure was that we’d both fucked up royally and that I was still madly in love with him. I dropped my gaze before he saw the tears welling up in my eyes.
He knew, though. He put a hand beneath my chin and lifted my head. I blinked furiously and willed the tears to stop. Phil and I had had the worst possible misunderstanding all those years ago, and there was nothing we could do about it. It was too late.
Stroking his thumbs across my cheeks to wipe away the years, Phil said, “Please don’t cry, C. It was a long time ago.”
The use of the nickname only he used for me coupled with his brush-off of the situation just made me more upset. I pulled away from him and covered my face with my hands.
“Wh-what did I say now?”
My sadness and grief had started to morph into anger, and I moved my hands and stared him in the face.
“Oh, it’s all very well for you, isn’t it?” I repeated his words mockingly, “It was a long time ago. Well, that may be true, but unfortunately for me, I still fucking love you!”
I made to storm past him and back into the mess, but he grabbed me around the waist and yanked me back. I yelped and tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but his strong, muscular arms meant I had no hope of escape. I sighed and stopped moving, and my body slowly became aware of the big, firm one pressed against it, not to mention a big firm something else pushing against my bottom.
Despite my anger and upset, my traitorous hormones reacted to the situation and sent a bolt of lust rushing through my body. My nipples hardened and a delicious heat flickered between my thighs. I gulped as I remembered just how skilled Phil was at scratching that particular itch, then renewed my wriggling. I had to get away. There was no way I could let him know I was horny because if he came on to me, I wouldn’t be able to resist. He’d always been my weakness. Bastard.
“C, stop it. Just calm down. I’m going to let you go. Will you stay where you are so we can talk?”
I nodded, unwilling to speak for fear I’d say something else that was completely insane. Though after telling him I still loved him, I wasn’t sure how much more foolish I could get.
Phil slowly released me, and for a split second, I thought about bolting. That is, until he spoke.
“I still fucking love you, too.”
I turned to face him, my eyes wide. For what felt like the millionth time that day, a multitude of emotions rushed through me and I struggled to process them all. I just stood there, gaping like a fish. Finally, my brain caught up. Before my rational side knew what was going on, my right hand had delivered a hearty slap to Phil’s gorgeous face. My mouth had also started spouting angry nonsense.
“Well, that’s all right then, isn’t it? The fact we’ve been apart for all these years for no fucking reason means nothing because we still love each other! Could you be any more stupid?”
I may have been attacking Phil, but really I was furious with myself, too. We were both to blame.
I opened my mouth again, ready to launch another tirade of abuse, but Phil countered it with a movement of his own. He reached down and cupped my face in his big, warm hands, leaned down so his face was on a level with mine and said, “God, you’re sexy when you’re angry.”
Before I had a chance to react, he kissed me. As his lips touched mine, all the stiffness and tension left my body, followed swiftly by the anger. In fact, had he not chosen that moment to slip his arms around my waist, the weakness in my knees probably would have caused me to fall over.
Pulled tightly to him, I could feel his erection pressing against my abdomen. Lust trickled its way into my knickers, and I opened my mouth to return his kiss. His tongue immediately thrust between my lips and sought out mine. I reached around him and cupped his ass in my hands as our kiss deepened.
It was some time before we pulled apart. When we eventually did, we were both gasping, and I suspected my facial expression mirrored Phil’s flushed, lust-addled one. We gazed at one another for a couple of seconds, then a strange movement from Phil made me look down and see what the problem was. A giggle escaped my lips as I watched him try to rearrange his stiff cock beneath his pants.
“What?” he asked, grinning at me. “I can’t help it if you make me horny, can I? There was a time when you’d have dragged me to a secluded spot for a little relief.”
“And what makes you think I won’t do that now?” I gave him what I hoped was my sauciest grin, then looked around for somewhere even more private for us to go.
“Oh, I dunno,” he said, clearly thinking I was bluffing, “only the fact that our families and lots of strangers are inside that building.”
“True,” I replied, nodding. “But they’re not inside that one.”
I pointed to a building at the other side of the courtyard. I had no idea what was inside it, and to be honest, I didn’t really care. I walked quickly toward it, hoping that we’d get there before anyone saw us. A glance over my shoulder told me that Phil wasn’t far behind.
I tried the door handle, heaving a sigh of relief as it gave beneath my hand. Phil quickly moved behind me and shoved me hurriedly inside, pushing the door shut and locking it. He then held his index finger to his lips, strode across the room and stuck his head around a couple of doorways to make sure we were alone.
He gave a curt nod and said, “Thank fuck for that. Now come here.”
Raising an eyebrow, I replied cockily, “Why don’t you come here?”
Letting out a noise that was somewhere between a sigh and a growl, Phil moved quickly across the room toward me. Putting his hands on my hips, he steered me until my back was pressed against the door. Then he moved in for another kiss. A spine-melting, toe-tingling, hair-standing-on-end kind of a kiss.
We clung together in our passion, Phil’s hands tangled in my hair and my fingers gripping handfuls of his white T-shirt. We’d both look a complete state when we headed back to the party, but right at that moment, it was the last thing my mind. Especially when Phil’s right hand left my hair and began to stroke its way down my body.
His fingers trailed slowly down the side of my neck, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Reaching my left breast, he cupped it through my dress, then pinched the nipple hard enough to make me twist my face away from his and squeal. My clit began to throb as though it were that particular bundle of nerve endings he’d tweaked. I arched my back, suddenly desperate for him to touch me between my legs. To make me come. To make me scream his name.
I hadn’t realized I’d said the last part out loud until he chuckled and all but purred, “Oh, I’ll m
ake you come, C. I’ll make you come until you see stars. You know I can.”
He was right. He could. He had, many, many times before. Almost dizzy with lust at his words and the memories they evoked, I simply moaned. Reaching up to grab his wrist, I pushed it down between my legs and looked up into his eyes, silently begging him to see his promise through. His baby blues took on a gleeful look as he hooked his fingers around the crotch of my thong and pulled it to one side.
We continued to gaze at one another as he delved between my pussy lips, already soaked with my juices, and sought my clit. It wasn’t difficult to find, throbbing and desperate for attention as it was. I writhed as he touched me there, eliciting a throaty chuckle from him. He continued to watch my face as he slowly, gently, circled the sensitive bud, silently daring me to close my eyes. We’d played this game many a time in the past. He’d tease me as he watched my face, and I had to keep my eyes open, otherwise he’d stop.
I stared back at him almost insolently, biting my lip as I felt my orgasm approach. Phil moved the tips of his fingers faster and harder, and soon I felt as though my body were an elastic band, being wound tighter and tighter until it was almost painful. I begged for release.
“P-please.”
“Please what, C?”
“Please, make me come.” My voice was little more than a whisper.
“Well, since you asked me so nicely...”
With that, he pinched my clit, sending me tumbling into a state of screaming orgasmic bliss so loud that I was surprised the crowd in the mess didn’t come rushing over to see who was being murdered. By now, I’d grabbed his shoulders to steady myself, and my fingernails dug into the taut muscles there, making him wince. I’d long since forgotten about keeping my eyes open; my hormones were much stronger than my willpower, and all I could think about was how good it felt and how much I wanted to do it again.
I’d barely cracked my eyes open when there was a flurry of movement from Phil. He stepped back and shoved a hand into the pocket of his jeans and retrieved his wallet. Clumsy in his haste, he dropped it once before retrieving it and fishing a condom out of its depths. I grinned lazily as he tossed his wallet onto a nearby table and made short work of undoing his pants. Releasing his cock from his underwear, he quickly tore into the foil packet, which he also dropped onto the table, then rolled the latex sheath down his length.
Duty and Desire: Military Erotic Romance Page 8