“Take off your shirt and shorts.”
My back was toward them, but I felt my skin burn as I stripped then Kirk pushed me over, so that I was at a ninety-degree angle. “Hold the pole.”
I wrapped my fingers around the iron pole of the stairs. Digging my teeth into my bottom lip, I braced for whatever was going to come.
“Here,” I heard Miles voice behind me, and then the sound of him removing his belt. For an instant, I thought that would be what Kirk would use on me, but he folded it up then lifted my chin.
“Open your mouth.”
When I did, he shoved the thick leather between my teeth. I dug my fingers into the pole as tight as possible.
As soon as the whip came down on my back I screamed into the belt, struggling to fill my lungs as the next lash connected. After two, I was ready to collapse. I had eighteen more to go.
I squeezed the pole as hard as I could, fearing that my hands would snap under their own strain as the next three lashes came.
My muffled screams turned into steady sobs as I felt the tears dripping off of my face and forming little puddles beneath me.
Six. Seven. Eight.
My chest shook with each breath, and I fell to my knees. The crack of kneecap against concrete was nothing compared to the fire eating my back.
“On your feet,” Miles said. He lifted me up and braced me there for a second while I locked my knees.
The next two strikes came in rapid succession. Halfway there.
I thought I was going to pass out. Or throw up.
Kirk gave me a few seconds to catch my breath, but the radiating burn didn’t let up. Snot and saliva clogged my throat and nose, making it hard to breath.
I wished he’d just get it over with.
I braced myself again, and five more streaks were added. I heard a hoarse scream with the fifth, and it took a second to realize that it came from my own throat.
My knees landed against the concrete again and my vision clouded. I cried out again, just knowing that there were five more to come.
Miles lifted my head, but it was only to shove the belt back in between my teeth. I shook my head, silently pleading where words failed me.
“You’re almost done,” he whispered, helping me to my feet again.
Almost done, but I wasn’t really. Five more strokes and Kirk would be done. The pain wasn’t going to end just because the strikes had stopped.
I dropped my head, my legs quaking beneath me.
“Silver.”
I felt like every structure in my body shattered into a thousand pieces at the sound of Kirk’s voice.
“Stand up.”
They both lifted me to my feet, but my legs were useless under my weight. Miles held me up, while Kirk’s fingers slid through the hair at the top of my neck. I waited for him to jerk my head back, but he leaned down and whispered in my ear.
“Don’t break, Sugar. Push it away. Focus on something else.”
I locked my knees and braced my head on my arm. One, two, I counted my breaths, three, four….
Crack.
Just keep standing.
Crack.
Air in. Air out.
Crack.
The darkness began closing in.
Crack.
I could still feel the intolerable burn, but it didn’t seem connected to my consciousness.
Crack.
Kirk and Miles each took an arm, pulling me upright. Lava poured down my back. And I shuddered as my hair fell over my shoulder brushing one of the welts, every movement, even the touch of air, adding to the fire.
Kirk twisted my hair and pulled it in front of my shoulder, then he and Miles guided me back a few steps, so I could sit against the table. I didn’t want to remember the table. There wasn’t any more room in my head for torture, even if it was just a memory.
The door at the top of the stairs opened, but I kept my eyes on the floor in front of me until I heard a female gasp.
Alley.
“Please, Master,” I whispered, looking from him to Miles and back again. My voice was hoarse, and it was painful to talk, but I needed them to understand. “It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t have anything to do with it. Please, don’t punish her too. Please.”
Miles shot up the stairs taking them two at a time.
“Please don’t hurt her,” I breathed. My voice was almost gone.
Kirk wiped the tears from my cheeks but didn’t say anything. It broke my heart to think that Alley might get the same punishment because she’d been assigned to keep an eye on me today. The guard who had walked in with Alley walked down to us, followed by Miles and a tearful Alley. The guard moved to take my arm, but I jerked away without thinking.
I didn’t want anyone else touching me. I’d had enough of people touching me. Every subtle sensation rolled through my body superheating the burn on my back.
“Take Alley to my apartment,” Miles said, handing the guard a key, “let her in then wait outside of the door until I get back.”
The guard nodded, taking Alley up the stairs while Miles and Kirk took my arms to support me. They pulled me up the stairs and through the side door at one edge of the catwalk. It led through a back hallway to the elevator. They took me up to the tenth floor.
My only sense of relief came from the fact that Ross had probably already left for his plane. We walked down the hallway, past the two rooms I knew until we reached a large silver door. Miles pressed his thumb to a keypad and the metal door opened. Inside, there were four identical metal doors.
Using his thumbprint again, Miles opened one of the doors and they led me into the small room. It was empty except for a small cot in the corner, and a small toilet and sink.
They laid me down on the bed, on my stomach.
“I’ll bring her some water,” Miles said.
Kirk nodded and crouched in front of me. As Miles left, Kirk lifted my chin, forcing me to at least look in the direction of his face, even if I couldn’t focus on it. He rubbed his thumb over my lips.
I waited for the next chastisement. His reminder of why I was in pain. Anything but silence, but as soon as Miles returned and sat the bottle next to me then they both left me, locking the door behind them.
I was lost in my own mind, running from the pain.
As the pain began to recede, it made room for the panic to set in. What if Gabe found out where I was? Would anyone try to stop him here?
The door clicked and I jumped. My body tensed, preparing for the worst.
Then, I saw Kirk’s face. He leaned against the wall across from me and let the door shut.
“What do you want, Silver?”
“To live. To not hurt this badly. I’m scared,” I breathed, and it was like blowing oxygen into the fire on my back. “I panicked.”
“I know. We watched the surveillance video,” he pushed away from the wall and caressed the back of my arm. “Let’s go upstairs.”
My eyes lifted. I wondered for a second if I was imagining the whole thing, but he carefully lifted me from the bed, and put another hand on my hip trying to brace me.
“I’d carry you, but I don’t think you want me to touch your back.”
I shook my head. I forced myself to stay upright, but by the time we reached the apartment, all I wanted to do was collapse. Kirk led me to the couch and let me sit down. He walked away and returned a few seconds later piling pillows on the far end of the couch then taking a seat next to me.
“Lay on your stomach across my lap.”
I crawled across him, feeling like a thousand snakes were biting my back at once. Kirk pulled my hair up, tucking it to one side as I settled. My muscles twitched, adjusting to the new position.
“I’m going to put some ointment on your back. It’ll sting at first, but then it should ease the pain.”
“Why are you being nice to me?”
“I think you’ve been punished enough under the circumstances.”
He started brushing the ointment on my b
ack with tender strokes. I buried my face in the pillows, trying not to scream at the initial touches. Once my body grew used to it, the initial sting wasn’t as bad. I blocked out the pain and went to my own little grey world.
I noticed that he had stopped moving, but he didn’t ask me to move, so I didn’t argue. He rested a hand on my upper thigh and dragged his other through my hair.
“Bend, don’t break, Silver.”
The skin-crawling sensation on my back roused me, and I glanced around the empty room. No longer was I laid across Kirk’s lap.
I didn’t even see him around.
Something on my back moved, and I jerked to get it off. Then, I felt the skin ripping sensation of something biting. Pain radiated out from it, spreading through my entire body.
I twisted, trying to see it.
Still feeling rough skin move across my back, I finally caught a glimpse of the snake.
It struck again at my lower back and I jumped off the couch trying to get away.
My limbs went numb as I watched the snake slither off the couch, its large triangular head ready to strike again. It coiled back baring its fangs and I jumped away.
Fingers grabbed my arms and I looked over my shoulder. Ross glared at me, his fingertips digging into my muscle.
“You’re supposed to be in lock up. Take your punishment.”
The burning in my back spread. Every pulse of my heart sent the venom coursing through my veins, until my vision blackened.
“Thanks.” I heard Kirk whisper as the dream faded.
“I saw the same thing you did,” I recognized the second voice as Miles, “but are you sure bringing her back up here was the best thing?”
“Yeah.” I felt Kirk’s fingers brush my neck. “I need her to trust me.”
“Ross wouldn’t agree with that.”
“So, I won’t tell him. You understand. She’s not like the other girls.”
“Careful, you’re sounding like a heartsick teenager.”
“Not what I mean. She came from a normal life, so she didn’t come in wanting to win our acceptance.”
“She came in wanting to fight for her freedom—that’s a tough thing to break.”
“I don’t want to break her.”
They both went quiet. I heard something rustle then the smell of pizza hit my nose. Hot and slightly acidic with the smell of tomatoes.
“Don’t tell me you expect me to serve you, too,” Miles joked.
“No, but you can help me sit her up.” He rubbed my arm. “How much can you move on your own?”
I wondered if he knew I was awake the entire time. I moaned into the cushions. Then, I felt them both lift me, and help me back so that I was sitting sideways on the couch. My hair fell down over the welts again.
“We really need to take care of that,” Kirk said. He stood, leaving Miles to brace me and returned, handing Miles one of my hair ties. Kirk sat in front of me while Miles twisted my hair up into a messy bun.
“This is irony,” I mumbled, turning to Miles as he moved from behind me. “Alley?”
“She’s fine. She’ll have double laundry duty for a while, but since you begged for her reprieve and we watched the tapes, we did as you asked.”
“Thank you.”
Miles squeezed my arm then I heard his footsteps retreat toward the door.
I leaned my head against the back of the couch, trying to keep myself upright, careful not to let anything touch any of the welts that stained my back. I imagined that it was red and oozing hot lava.
Kirk rubbed my cheek as he rose again, “Just for a little while, Sweetie.”
The combination of words tugged at my chest. I didn’t want him calling me “Sweetie.” And yet, my emotions battled over it. It either meant he felt sorry for me or possibly that he didn’t hate me as much as I thought. “Does that mean you’ll let me sleep on your lap again when we finish eating?”
“Is that what you want?” He handed me a paper plate then flung open the pizza box lid. He dropped two steaming slices of pepperoni pizza on my plate and I settled with my side against the back of the sofa.
I shrugged and winced as I bit off the tip of a slice.
“Here,” Kirk picked up a bottle of pills and handed me two capsules. He dropped my water bottle on the couch between us. “It’ll help with the swelling and pain.
The pain you caused.
There wouldn’t have to be any pain, but Kirk was following orders.
I was the one who broke the rules. I’d slowly break apart every shred of my own sanity if something didn’t give.
Kirk had warned me that he was my only ally. He admitted that he’d hurt me. Rape me. And he was the truthful one.
I promised that I’d do what he said if he protected me. I begged him to keep me and not turn me over to the others. He’d kept his end of the deal.
The criminal was better at keeping his word than I was.
I wondered what that said about me.
I also wondered what it meant that I was thinking about giving in.
“How much did you overhear?” Kirk asked, watching me out of the corner of his eye as he ate.
He knew that I had been awake. If I lied and said I only heard the final bit, I’d be screwed if he already knew otherwise.
“I woke up when you told Miles ‘thanks’.” I glared down at the snake on his arm—no doubt the inspiration for my nightmare. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Your back is going to need a while to heal. Then, we’ll start over. You get a clean slate.”
“And if I screw up again?”
“When you do…,” he sighed. There was something different about him. He looked exhausted. Sounded exhausted. “We’ll go from there.”
We finished eating in silence, and I’d scarfed down so much, I felt like my stomach would explode, not such a good idea since all I wanted to do was lay down and go back to sleep and I certainly couldn’t do that on my back.
I laid against the back of the couch while Kirk cleaned up the mess. When he was done, he sat next to me again, rubbing a thumb against my jawline. “I know you’re a strong girl. I know that everything inside of you is telling you to fight. I’m not telling you to ignore it, just to be smart about it.”
“How? How am I supposed to use the urge to fight?”
“To stay alive. Sometimes that means not saying what you’re thinking, and just doing what you’re told.”
“That’s not fighting.”
“You’re wrong. Sometimes the only way to win is to stay alive and not break. If you keep fighting like you have been, you’ll break.”
“Maybe I have already.”
Kirk shook his head and put a pillow next to his legs. “You haven’t.” He motioned for me to lay across his lap.
“I don’t need you to take care of me.”
“You don’t want me to take care of you. Believe it or not, that’s what I’ve been doing since you got here. If I weren’t—”
“Don’t say it. I’ll…” I sighed. “I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
I crawled across his lap and dropped my head to the pillows he’d laid out. As my body relaxed, stretching out my back again, I flinched in pain.
“I can’t put any more pain ointment, yet.”
“I’m oka—” I grunted, then took a slow breath. “I’ll be okay when it settles.”
He pulled the blanket up to cover me up to my waist.
“Don’t you have stuff to work on?”
“Yep, that’s exactly what I’m doing.” He rubbed my back under the lowest of the welts, massaging down my hips and legs.
I took a deep breath and relaxed. At least in this position, I stood no danger of rolling onto a welt. It also felt childish. Waiting on him to take care of me, and soothe my wounds.
I didn’t fall asleep, but I lay there silently until the sun set and the room darkened. I was at war with my own mind and body. I felt completely alone with no one to talk to about my feelings, to ask if I was really doi
ng the right thing. I had to look inside myself for those answers, and it terrified me.
Kirk sat quietly with me, rubbing my leg or patting my head when I got particularly squirmy until the pain dulled again. But otherwise he didn’t move, allowing me the use of his body for my comfort.
“Thank you, Master,” I whispered.
His fingers tightened on the back of my thigh.
“Thank you for bringing me back up here and sitting with me.” I hated the words as I spoke them, not because they weren’t true. I truly appreciated it. I hated them because of what they did to me. They made me his, attached me to him in ways nothing else had.
My mind and soul were ready to admit that I needed him—that on some level, I craved his attention, because it was all that I had. It’s all that I would have.
I desperately needed to stop thinking. “How bad do you think a shower would hurt?”
“How bad does moving hurt?”
“Too much.”
“Then, multiply that by ten.” He massaged just above my tailbone and I moaned into the pillow. His hand continued in circular motions down my ass, then each of my legs.
My body wanted his tenderness so badly that it was willing to do anything he wanted to get it and my brain latched on to every pleasurable sensation—no matter how small—just to get away from the pain. His hand got to the end of my thigh and stopped.
I whimpered.
“You want a distraction?”
“No more pain.”
“I’ll be gentle.”
Gentle would ruin me. Crush up my insides like a used piece of paper and toss me in the garbage ruin me. “Yes.”
He pushed down the blanket, allowing his fingers to graze the inside of my naked thigh.
“Remember the kiss you gave me yesterday?”
“Yes.” No, please don’t pollute my mind, too. I locked in on the memory, the feeling of him leaving me needy, wanting.
Wanting. I repeated to myself.
I could taste his tongue on mine.
What the hell was my mind trying to do to me?
I tried to push it back, but his hand parted my legs, moving up toward my hot core. I felt the cool air. His light touch.
I wanted to spur him on as much as I wanted to damn him.
A finger found my clit and rubbed it gently. Not enough. I pressed against him—instantly embarrassed at my need. And at the rate that my body tried to overthrow me.
Irrevocable: A Sins of Ashville Abduction Dark Romance (Irrevocable Duet Book 1) Page 12