by Isla Jones
He was so close to me that the toes of my boots touched his shins. “I don’t know.”
“What would you have me do?” he hissed, urgent and exhausted. There it was—the cutting hit of his anger, the impatience he couldn’t hide anymore. “You want to live in this world, on a farm in the middle of nowhere?”
Everyone watched us now, no one tried to hide it. But Castle held my full attention with his cracking stone mask.
“Soon, all the food left will rot. You would have to grow your own, but you would have to settle somewhere. Infectees will be drawn in. How long will we survive before they come in numbers we can’t withstand?” His face came closer; the heat of hissed words touched my nose. “Other groups, infectees, disease, the elements…” He shook his head, his lip still curled. “We can’t survive like that. What other options do we have?”
Behind trapped tears, I held his gaze. Then, I slid off the wall and forced him back a step. “Who said anything about we?”
Those words came out in stone. Hard, indifferent, and rough enough to send him back a step.
A mere blink later, Castle had recovered and sneered; “I wasn’t referring to you and I. I meant the group as a whole.”
I snorted to hide the bud of disappointment that blossomed.
“I’ll be your key,” I said calmly. “And after that, don’t ever speak to me again. The sight of you sickens me. Your voice makes my skin crawl. And,” I took a step closer, my boot almost flattening on his, “just so you know, it’s always been Leo.”
Lies, lies, lies!
I couldn’t stop them from spilling out of me. I wanted to hurt him, I needed to see a flicker of pain in his eyes, a fraction of what he’d unleashed on me.
Castle inhaled through his nostrils, so deep that the breath filled his lungs and pushed out his chest. A ripple of rage shuddered down his body, clamping muscle after muscle. Then, he let out the softest of breaths and I heard every single hitch in it.
I’d hurt him.
And I craved to do it again.
Before I could swim in his pain, his mask slipped onto his face, firm and unyielding. I faced stone again. A blink, and it was gone—he was gone, back to the other stoop.
Silence pressed down on all of us so hard that no one spoke a word for fear of breaking it. I suspected some of what Castle and I had said to each other had been overheard. We’d spoken in low growls and hisses, loaded whispers and cutting breaths, but it wouldn’t have been too difficult to gather the gist of our ‘talk’.
I avoided the hollow feeling in my gut and walked numbly among the others. The rest of the journey, I walked alone. Vicki was at Mac’s side (or his cart’s side); Leo and Castle led the way with Noah; and Lisa and Oscar stayed at the rear.
I was surrounded by the group, but the rest of the road was lonely.
When we turned right onto an all-white street, the thick silence pulsed over us. Some ached to speak, their excitement fizzled through the group, but the tension was too dense to break through. Still, we walked in silence down the street of snow-dusted brownstones.
It couldn’t be the street, I thought. There were no fancy buildings, hospitals, or even clinics. This was a residential street for families and young couples.
A trendy area.
We stopped at one of the brownstones halfway down the street. It stood out among the others with the wrought iron gate that hugged its stoop, solar panels packed with snow on the towering roof, and a bright red door the shade of rubies or ripe apples.
I titled my head as I studied the exterior. Even with its character, the brownstone couldn’t be the CDC. It was only four levels high and—it was just a house.
But then, I looked at the deltas. Adam grinned and slapped his hand on Leo’s shoulder and Castle even he allowed himself a small smile.
We really were at the CDC.
THE BROWNSTONE
ENTRY NINE
Adam was the first to shove through the gate. Castle followed with lazy footsteps, his hand clutched tight onto his backpack, while Leo stood by the mouth of the gate and held his rifle to his chest.
Adam tried the door. It didn’t budge. No one seemed surprised by that.
I leaned on my IV stand and watched Castle crouched at the door. He dropped his backpack to the ground and rummaged through it. The rest of us waited in the thick silence at the road. Lisa drummed her fingers on the handlebar of Noah’s trolley, while Vicki rearranged Mac’s duvet and pillow (though, he was too unconscious to notice). Cleo’s head poked out from her jacket, and her big beady eyes darted from side to side.
A pang of jealousy tugged my insides.
Cleo didn’t need just me anymore. She had two humans now. It was better for her that way—still, the logic of it didn’t ease the jealousy. At least it wasn’t as bad as it had been back at the auto-shop.
I hung back, near Oscar who rested on the hood of a car buried in snow. His bum would be wet soon, but then again, he wore leather pants and I’m not sure how that works with melted snow.
Ahead, Castle stood and pulled out a document from a large envelope. Then, he unhooked a chain with tags—those army ones that I think are called dog tags—from around his neck. I’d never seen him with dog tags, and I had no idea that there was an envelope with documents in his bag.
All our time together, I never spared much thought to what was in his bag. Once, before the auto-shop, I’d seen him stuff a black book into his backpack; a book not unlike a journal. I’d assumed it was filled with strategy notes and places, lists of the meet-up points, and whatnot. Now, curiosity bloomed inside of me.
I frowned at him. He stood there like a statue, document and tags in his grip, with more patience than I thought he had in him. His aim was pointed at a pot plant that hung above the door’s right corner. Was there a camera there, I wondered?
From the patience on all three delta’s faces, it dawned on me. They’d expected this. All of it; from the silence so loud that it ached my ears, the seemingly eternal wait in the light snow fall, to the odd face of what was supposed to be the country’s best CDC.
Then, I looked at the snow that buried my boots and remembered. The CDC was underground. Was I standing above my sister?
Just as I thought it, Leo’s crunching footsteps drew nearer.
Eyes on the ground, he peeled off his soft scarf and handed it to me. I wrapped it around my neck.
Leo was quiet for a while. We stared at the stoop ahead, and I caught Castle’s brief narrowed look before he turned back to the pot plant.
“Have you taken it yet?” Leo asked.
I kicked some snow at my feet. Right then, I could have ended all of it. The lies. But shouldn’t Castle have been the first for me to tell?
“Not yet,” I mumbled. “I haven’t had the chance.”
Leo folded his arms over his chest and bowed his head. “Have you given any thought to … If you are …”
“I have abortion pills.”
He rubbed his jaw. Their whole uncomfortable act was grating on me. “Do you want to take them? If you’re only considering it because of Castle …”
I cut him off with a huff.
The frosty bite of the air pinched my cheeks pink. It hid the real reason my face flushed so hot, a camouflage I was grateful for.
Leo wasn’t subtle. He was offering up something that warmed my insides, and I loathed him for it. My insides had to stay frozen if I was going to survive life underground with them.
There was no moment of hesitation before I answered. “I want to take them, and I would every single time, even under different circumstances.”
That one spoken truth lifted some weight from me. Children are ok… They’re not for me. Not in any world, dead or alive.
Leo jerked his head up. But he wasn’t looking at me.
I traced his gaze to the door.
Castle, eyes like sheets of ice, waved us over.
Leo took my arm and winked at me. “You’re up.”
He helped me
to the stoop, and only when I shifted my full weight onto the IV stand beside a seething Castle did Leo release my arm.
The pot plant above had cracks that tore through the ceramic. Dead flowers, brown and brittle, dangled over the edge. Only one flower survived. But it wasn’t a flower. It was a camera, disguised in the wrappings of plastic petals.
It whizzed. The camera moved. It shifted to the right and looked me dead on.
Tension rippled through us.
Oscar hopped off the car, Lisa gasped as if she’d thought the whole thing would fall through, Vicki pulled away from Mac. And Castle shared a brisk look with Leo.
That was it.
I’d fulfilled my purpose.
The camera stared right at me. Behind me, Leo lifted up a piece of crinkled paper. I craned my neck to read it. Black pen scrawled my name in thick lines.
‘WINTER MILES’
Somehow, seeing the sign above me like a tag in a grocery store, carved out another piece of my already hollow gut. I felt … cheap. For sale.
The camera hissed. It turned to the left and rested on Adam who leaned against the door. Then, it moved again, this time to Vicki and Mac. Only Noah received the same long paused stare from the camera as I had. I stepped back as a heavy clunk shuddered the door. Leo clutched my waist to keep me in place.
We all stared at the red door, breaths stolen from us. It didn’t open.
Adam tried the handle, but it was solid and still, like a brick wall. He shrugged and glanced at Castle for an answer, but before the bane of my existence could give one, the door clanged so loud that I glared across the street, expecting rotters to race out at us.
None came.
And the door creaked open, all the way.
This is part two.
THE CENTRE FOR DISEASE CONTROL
ENTRY TEN
Beyond the door was a room. A ‘lobby’, Summer would call it. One door led off the room, but when Adam tried it, it was locked as firmly as the entrance had been moments ago.
Leo stayed close to me—almost as close as Castle’s watchful gaze—as though he thought I might run back into the street before the door shut behind us.
As everyone bustled around, I took Cleo from Vicki. She rushed over to Mac to check on him. He was beginning to rouse, though not enough to acknowledge his surroundings.
In the corner facing the mysterious door sat an armchair. I sank into it and watched the others.
Lisa dragged the food cart inside.
As soon as she and the cart were in the lobby, the front door slammed shut, hard. I jumped in surprise; Cleo squealed. Out the corner of my eye, I caught Adam’s slight flinch at the loud bang.
We all fixed our stares on the back of the door. Solid metal stared back at us and iron poles bolted across it from the wall. I doubt that even a grenade could open that door. There was no getting out.
“Reinforced,” said Adam; he banged his fist on the door across the lobby. “Both are.”
It should have been a happy moment. Elation should’ve swept over us like the plague. To some, it was just like that.
In the corner opposite mine, Vicki hunched over Mac. A wide grin lit up her face and her cheeks glistened under the faint light from the bulb above. She mumbled soft words to him, though he was so doped up still that he likely didn’t understand anything she said.
Adam wore the grin of a Cheshire Cat and leaned against the door, his eyes shut and face smoothed out. I couldn’t stop myself. I looked at Castle; he was already staring at me.
He turned his gaze to the floor and slid down the wall, knees drawn close to his chest. It wasn’t just the day’s toll that wore him down. He had a moment’s rest after a half-year of doing whatever it took to get here.
Leo flattened his hands to his face. The light jolts of his shoulders told that he chuckled a small laugh.
Each of the deltas revelled in their accomplishment their own way.
To me, the sense of victory was yet to come. I was locked in a reinforced metal room with wallpaper to deceive us. Until I knew what was happening, no smiles were to touch my face.
Minutes ticked by and lumped together, until they reached and passed hour. The elation simmered a while ago, and now only a sense of peace settled over us.
With Cleo on my lap, I slouched in the armchair. Still on the floor, Castle read through some of his secret files with Leo. Their mumbled words to each other came in a constant hum that dared to try lull me to sleep.
Vicki had crushed up some pills and, with soda, forced them down Mac’s throat. Unconsciousness took him again. She wandered over to me sometime around the hour-mark, and perched herself on the arm of my chair.
Her fingers found Cleo’s ear, where they massaged.
“I did it,” she whispered after a while.
My gaze sliced to her. “The test?”
She slid as close to me as the arm-rest allowed. “All six of them. Thank you,” she said, “for getting so many. I think I needed to be sure.”
“And are you…?” I let my raised brows finish my sentence.
“I’ll take the pills as soon as I can,” she said, her voice a low hush. “I didn’t think it such a great idea to take them today with all the walking. I’m just … waiting for the right time.”
“I get that, but the longer you wait, the less likely they’ll work. Take them tonight, if you can.”
Vicki bit her lip and seemed on the verge of voicing a secret thought.
I blanched and my eyes widened. “You’re thinking about not taking the pills, aren’t you?”
Vicki made a face at me. “No, it’s not that. I was … I don’t know how to thank you for this, Winter. For any of it. You put a lot at risk to get those pills for me and—”
“You saved my life.” I smiled. “Call us even.”
Vicki hummed a gentle tune and leaned back against the wall. Her legs dangled off the edge of the seat, near mine, and I guessed she was staying put for a while.
I looked at Castle.
He had his eyes shut now, and his head lolled back against the wall. Leo packed up their paperwork. Did either of them, I wondered, want children? Would there ever be a time that my wants would change and I would at least consider kids?
The thought curdled my belly and crinkled my nose. Definitely not for me. But Vicki…
I made to ask her if she would choose differently later in life—but an eruption of static ripped through the room and silenced me.
My eardrums rang in protect; Cleo whined and tucked herself against me. Some of the others slapped their hands to their ears. The noise was high-pitched, not unlike when a microphone interferes with an amp. Then, the sound cut off, and was replaced by the faint crinkle of a speaker.
A woman’s voice was roughened by the speaker. “Apologies for keeping you and your team waiting, Corporal Hill. Please remain patient while we assess the mission statement and the identity of your crew.”
My heart jumped to my throat and strangled me. Someone had spoken to us. We were at the CDC. They were going to let us in…
Reality sank in just as I sank into the armchair. That’s when it really hit me. Still, it brought no elation with it. Only nerves.
The quiet static silenced completely.
We all stewed in our shock, our disbelief, until Vicki shocked me even more than the woman from the speaker did.
“Corporal Hill?” She choked on a suppressed giggle. “Your name is Castle Hill?”
It couldn’t be helped. Once her giggled overthrew her, I had to hide my own laughter behind Cleo’s perked up head—her tail whipped from side to side, as if she was laughing alongside her humans.
Castle’s emerald eyes blazed through the dim room.
The glare silenced Vicki into soft snickers under her breath. I stayed hidden behind Cleo, but my jerking shoulders betrayed me.
“What are you laughing at, Winter?” said Leo, a lopsided grin on his tanned face. “You and your sister were named after seasons.”
> A ghost of a smile danced on my lips, and I shrugged off his comment.
Castle’s eyes cut to the bag at his feet. Even he was too relieved at being in the CDC to hold onto his eternal flames of anger.
Vicki inched closer, the smile glued to her lips, and whispered. “If you two got married and had sex, that would mean there’s a Castle on a Winter Hill.”
Aghast, I threw her a glare.
She grinned wider. “Now if you ask me, that sounds a lot like fate.”
The static returned and stole our light mood. The woman’s voice was stern, yet not unkind as she ordered us to each state our names, dates of birth, and where we were from.
I noticed she didn’t ask the deltas any of those questions. And when she got down the list to me, she asked, “Any relation to Doctor Summer Miles?”
“She’s my sister,” I said.
“One moment.”
Static vanished again. Impatience snuck in. It was in the way Adam tapped his foot; Vicki drummed her fingers on her thigh; and I twisted my hands together on my lap.
Oscar squirmed a little, and as I glanced at him, he admitted, “I’m about three seconds from ruining these designer pants for good.”
Vicki scoffed. At least someone held onto a piece of the laughter, and I was glad for it to be Vicki. She more than anyone needed a break from the constant misery that we all carried with us.
Lisa, by the opposite door, grunted in fright and shot forward as if stung. We all looked at the door, and I frowned before I heard it. The door rattled.
No … Something behind it rattled.
The longer it went on, the louder it got, until there was a sudden groan. Silence. And the door slid open into the wall like—
An elevator.
Solid metal greeted us, flooded with blinding white light. Our way underground.
The voice was lighter this time. “Two at a time. The injured first, then the payload. Welcome to the Centre for Disease Control Headquarters.”