He might be back on the cricket team, had felt a stirring of interest in the band, and was sprucing his house up with Henrietta’s help, but none of it would mean anything if she didn’t feel the same as he did.
Until she’d come into his life he’d intended being alone for the rest of his days, but there was a special sort of magic about her that had changed him, brought him back to how he used to be, and whatever happened between them he would always be grateful to her for that.
But before Saturday there was a busy week at the practice to be got through, with personal feelings put to one side and health care a priority. Valerie Seddon, the patient who’d had the heart attack at the surgery, was still in Coronary Care but improving, and Dave Lorimer was home with a shaven head and brighter hopes for the future. Both satisfactory outcomes of serious situations.
But it wasn’t like that for everyone. An elderly patient who had been unwell for some time had been told that blood tests had shown she had an iron deficiency. Assuming that a course of iron tablets would solve the problem, she’d been dismayed to be told that it could be a sign of cancer, and that she would have to go for tests.
Her problem was the kind that cropped up all the time as lots of things did, but not so with Coralie Stephens, who had been rushed into hospital with what had appeared to be a stroke and had turned out to be nothing of the kind.
Her husband, a farmer, had been worried about her for some time as she’d suddenly gone deaf and spent most of her days in bed, feeling ill.
Matthew had visited her a few times and hadn’t been happy that a hospital appointment she’d been given had taken so long. But before it had arrived, she had suffered what her husband had thought a stroke and he’d taken her straight to hospital.
Tests had shown that the sudden paralysis was not a stroke. They’d discovered fluid in her ears and the doctors attending her had been baffled by her condition until one of them had suggested that she might be suffering from a very rare illness called Wegener’s granulomatosis, and that was what it had turned out to be.
When Matthew found out what the diagnosis was he was horrified. Henrietta hadn’t even heard of it.
‘It’s a collection of abnormal cells that develop in the nasal passages, the lungs and the kidneys,’ he explained, ‘and you can bet it’s what has been causing Coralie’s deafness. There are all sorts of unpleasant side issues to it. Inflammation of the eyes, skin ulcers, heart problems, kidney failure. The only good thing is that patients usually recover from it. But it can take up to twelve months.’
‘Was all this in the hospital’s report?’ she’d asked.
‘No. I haven’t got it yet. Her husband has just been in to tell me what’s been happening as he knows I’ve been concerned about her and anxious that she should start some sort of treatment. But it took nature to push the matter in the form of the paralysis that caused him to rush her into hospital.’
‘Does he know how they’re going to treat her?’
‘Yes, and it’s not pleasant. Steroids, chemotherapy, even though it’s not cancer-related, and immunosupressant drugs, because it’s an illness brought about by the body’s natural defences attacking its own tissues.’
‘Poor woman.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ he agreed sombrely. ‘I’ve known Coralie and Jim a long time and they’re great people. He was in a state when he came in to see me.’
‘I’m sure he was.’ As they went to face the patients of the day she’d said, ‘After hearing about that anything we have to deal with today couldn’t possibly be as bad.’
‘I wouldn’t bank on that,’ he remarked dryly.
Saturday came at last and when Henrietta went upstairs in the early evening to get changed it seemed unreal. She saw lots of Matthew at the practice and while they were doing the decorating, but tonight would be different. Just the two of them in an intimate setting. It would be as he’d said before when they’d planned to spend the day together—no practice, no decorating and, for a little while, no children.
Did Matthew see it as a date, she wondered, or just a pleasant evening with a friend? No doubt she would soon find out. He was bringing Kate with him and once she was settled in with the children they would be off to the Goose.
When Henrietta opened the door to him and Kate, with the children on either side of her, Mollie in her nightdress and Keiran in his pyjamas, Matthew smiled at the trio who had captured his heart, and Kate gave a satisfied nod as if to say, So far, so good.
Henrietta had chosen the outfit she liked best out of her wardrobe. A sleeveless, calf-length dress of cream silk, with a tight-fitting, dark green jacket. She’d put her hair up and fastened it with the same gold comb that had held it on the night Matthew had kissed her, hoping that it might turn out to be a good-luck charm.
It being Saturday night, the Goose was busy, and as they were shown to their table with the smiling courtesy shown to a regular guest, Henrietta wondered how many times Matthew had dined there alone.
Too many to count, no doubt, but at least it had been one night of the week when he’d sallied forth from the drab house that wasn’t drab any more. The transformation was almost complete and she smiled at the thought.
He was watching her expression from across the table and said, ‘It seems that something pleases you. I hope it’s this place.’
‘It’s very nice,’ she told him. ‘Much more upmarket than I expected. I can’t remember when last I dined in a place like this, but the smile was for something else. I was thinking that your house is almost finished and how attractive it looks.’
‘And what brought that thought to mind?’
‘Remembering how our lives used to be, and what they’re like now. Me in the big city, never knowing what was coming next, always on my guard, and you shutting yourself away once the surgery was closed, giving everything you had to give to your patients because you had no one else to give it to, except Kate. But you did at least come here once each week.’
‘What did you do on Saturday nights when you lived in Manchester?’
‘Nothing as pleasant as this, I can assure you.’
‘So you’ve no regrets about coming to live here?’
‘You know I haven’t. Even though you were so grumpy when we first met, I was already hooked on country life. I’ve never forgotten the home visits we did together during my first days here. Mrs Carradine at Goyt Lodge and the vet’s little girl were far from run of the mill.’
‘Yes, that was when you picked up on the atmosphere between Roger Martin and myself. I don’t blame the vet or his wife and daughter for what happened to Joanna, and I’ve accepted that his son was just indulging in stupid teenage bravado. But how do you think I felt when I saw Joanna lying there? It was such a waste. A terrible, unnecessary waste.
‘It was school holidays and she was out walking with the ramblers. The Martin lad was larking about near a big drop up amongst the peaks and when he saw Joanna coming, way in front of the others, he pretended to fall over the edge. But it was a bit too realistic. He lost his footing and went over. Lucky for him he landed in a bush not far from the top that broke his fall.
‘When she saw what had happened Joanna reached over and began to pull him up. He was scared stiff and when she had him almost at the top he flung himself upwards while still holding onto her, and as he reached safety the force of his grip pulled her forward and she went hurtling down onto rocks below.
‘Somebody rang me at the surgery and I got there at the same time as the ambulance, but it was too late. She was dead. Gone from me without a goodbye. If I could have got my hands on that young idiot I don’t know what I might have done. Fortunately for him he’d been rushed to hospital suffering from severe shock.’
Henrietta reached across the table and took his hand in hers. ‘No one should have that sort of grief thrust upon them,’ she said softly. ‘Yet so many people do. But you’ve come through it, haven’t you? You’re ready to move on and, whatever you decide to do, I hope tha
t it will make you truly happy.’
She was giving him an opening to say what was in his mind, Matthew thought, yet he had a feeling that she would drop his hand like a hot coal if he told her, as all he was getting from her was a squeeze of the hand and her blessing. And he wanted more than that. Much more.
There was a dance floor in the centre of the restaurant and when they’d finished eating, Matthew said, ‘Do you like dancing?’
She smiled across at him. ‘Yes. I love to dance, though I’ve never had the time to come up with a polished performance.’
‘Same here,’ he said easily, getting to his feet. ‘Shall we see what we can accomplish together?’
We could accomplish lots of things together, she thought as they moved slowly around the floor. Matthew’s touch could be the promise of things to come. His nearness the beginning of desire. Closing her eyes, she gave herself up to the moment and he said softly, ‘No perfume tonight.’
She shook her head. ‘No. I feel it belongs to the past.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Just as your lovely wife does.’
He was staring at her incredulously. ‘I told you the story of what happened to Joanne because it is the past. Not because I’m still dwelling on it but because I thought you should know exactly what happened, as I’ve only mentioned it briefly before, and then I would put it to rest. But it seems that you think I enjoy being maudlin and self-pitying.’
With his hand under her elbow he was walking her back to the table and she thought, So much for a lovely evening. She had angered him. Had known when she’d spoken that it might upset him, yet she’d still said it. Which had to mean that she still had doubts about how far he had come in saying goodbye to his wife.
There was silence in the car as he drove them back to The White House, the silence of anger on his part and regret on hers. Henrietta hoped she would be able to dredge up a serene expression for Kate’s benefit.
She spent the rest of the weekend in a state of misery, analysing and dissecting every word they’d said, and kept reaching the dismal conclusion that she must have doubts about Matthew, or she wouldn’t have said what she had.
Yet only minutes earlier she’d been going on about how he’d changed. He must be thinking that it was time she made up her mind.
There was no word or sight of Matthew during Sunday, and every time Henrietta picked up the phone to ring him she put it back as if it was burning her fingers. By Monday morning she was so desperate to see him again she found herself counting the minutes.
He was on the phone, talking to Doulgas, the practice manager, when she arrived at the surgery and was frowning when he replaced the receiver.
‘Douglas wants to come in during the lunch-hour to show us estimates for the decorating of this place,’ he said in a voice that had no warmth in it. ‘I’d intended visiting young Daniel then. He’s in hospital at the moment, enduring some physiotherapy to try and give him some mobility. The chances are not good and the lad needs all the support he can get, but I suppose I could go this evening.’
‘I can deal with Douglas if you like,’ she suggested, with a smile that was strained around the edges. ‘You know I’m good with colour schemes. I suppose they’ll be ready to hang the curtains and fit the carpets at your place any day.’
‘Soon,’ he said flatly, ‘and, yes, you can sort Douglas out when he comes, if you don’t mind.’ And on that cheerful note he went to deal with his patients.
There was definitely frost in the air, she thought when he’d gone, but at least she was where she could see him. The longing to be held by him, kissed by him, made love to by him was still there. It wasn’t ever going to go away, but for now she was going to have to be satisfied with their working relationship.
The headmistress of the children’s school rang in the middle of surgery to say that she was sorry to hear from Mollie that she’d been unwell over the weekend, and that some of the other children had been the same to varying degrees. They suspected that it was due to a very strong-smelling varnish that had been used by men decorating a new annex next to the children’s classroom.
‘The smell was quite pungent,’ she explained, ‘and after the first coating we asked them not to use it any more. But by then it was giving off some nasty fumes and about a dozen or so of the children have had a reaction to them, including your niece, it would seem.
‘We normally have any decorating done during the long summer break,’ she went on to say, ‘but this new building is needed for the end-of-term play that we are presenting to parents and friends. I understand that Keiran and Mollie’s parents are abroad and won’t be able to attend, but we would be pleased to see you there if you can manage it, Dr Mason.’
‘I’ll do my best,’ Henrietta promised, ‘and with regard to the children being ill from the fumes you describe, I’m not happy about that. The firm concerned should have checked that kind of thing before using it near children. I suppose it was one of the new miracle fast-drying substances that have a lot of chemicals in them.
‘Fortunately Mollie seems to have recovered from its effects and I am presuming that the other children who were also affected are now over it, but it could have ended up a serious matter.’
‘Yes, I do know that,’ the headmistress said contritely, ‘and I can assure you that it will not happen again.’
Matthew had appeared halfway through the phone call and when she’d finished talking to the headmistress he said, ‘So it was paint fumes.’
‘Yes, it would appear so. As you’ll have just heard I have expressed my concern. Do you think the children who were affected should be checked over? Chest or lung X-rays maybe?’
‘Yes, I do. One can’t be too careful with that kind of thing and Mollie’s breathing was a bit shallow at the time. I would get back on to the school and suggest that they tell the parents of those children that were affected to take them to A and E to be checked over. Better be safe than sorry.’
“I’ll have to take Mollie this evening when I’ve finished here.’
‘If you want some moral support, I’ll come with you.’
‘Are you sure? I know I’m not exactly your favourite person at the moment.’
‘Don’t make something out of nothing, Henrietta, and, yes, I am sure. I never say anything I don’t mean. We can finish early here and pick the children up straight from the school bus. If the headmistress had come up with this information a bit sooner, we could have taken Mollie to hospital yesterday.’
‘I suppose she would have if it hadn’t been the weekend, but they’ll only have discovered how many children were affected when school started this morning. They are putting on an end-of-term play and I’ve been invited to be there to represent Pamela and Charles.’
‘When is it?’
‘Next week. The last day of July and end of the school year.’
‘You’ll enjoy that, won’t you?’
‘Er…yes, I will, but it will feel odd on my own. I wish their parents could be here for them on that sort of occasion.’
‘If you want my opinion, which I know you don’t, I think they should be there for them all the time. They are missing precious months with Mollie and Keiran that won’t come again. What would they have done if you hadn’t been available?’
‘Boarding school.’
He tutted angrily and Henrietta read his mind. He was thinking that he had been denied children because the only woman he’d ever wanted to give them to him had been killed. While others left their children for months on end and didn’t bat an eyelid.
‘Pamela and Charles do love the children,’ she told him chidingly, ‘but they may have different ideas about bringing them up to what we have. Anyway, they’ll be home sooner than they planned. I won’t be needed any more then as they’ll be closing the house when they take the children back with them.’
‘You may not be needed there any more, but I’ll still want you with me at the surgery.’
‘Yes, maybe until John Lomas comes back. Then it wi
ll be a case of getting used to city life again.’
‘I thought you liked it here,’ he said, aghast to think that he might be driving her back to where she’d come from with his indifference.
‘I do. I love it, but things change, don’t they?’
‘Yes, they do,’ he agreed heavily, and left it at that.
The only person who seemed to be enjoying the visit to the emergency section of the nearest hospital was Keiran—mainly because he wasn’t the patient and also because he was immediately fascinated by the bustling health-care set-up.
Matthew hadn’t had much to say since their conversation about different people’s ideas of bringing up children. Mollie was tearful at the thought of what lay ahead, in spite of being held close and reassured that there was nothing to be afraid of. And Henrietta was wondering what she was going to say to Pamela if her child had been affected by the paint fumes in any way other than a minor upset.
‘Hi, Matthew,’ a doctor in A and E said with a raising of the eyebrows and a glance in her direction. ‘This your family?’
He shook his head. ‘No. They’re the children of friends. How’s your gang?’ Turning to Henrietta, he said, ‘Jason and I were at college together. He’s got twin girls and an older boy.’ He turned to his friend. ‘This is Dr Henrietta Mason, the other doctor in my practice and stand-in mother at the moment.’
Henrietta held back a groan. Why were they always being paired off by those who knew little about them? Especially when the two of them seemed to be drifting apart.
For the first time in her life she had found a man that she could love and cherish with all her being, and if he didn’t want her she would never turn to anyone else. So if you want Matthew Cazalet, go out and get him, the voice of reason said. But it wasn’t that easy when one was competing with a memory.
Since they’d arrived at A and E Matthew’s moroseness of earlier had disappeared and he was teasing Mollie gently while X-rays were being done. When they were given the all-clear he swooped her up in his arms to carry her out to the car and she cuddled against him, happy that it was all over.
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