The Loner

by Josephine Cox

  ‘We’ll be all right, Annie,’ Judy consoled her. ‘We’ll get a bottle of pop between us, and a couple of meat and tatty pies. With the sweets and crisps that’ll do us.’

  Satisfied, Annie changed the subject. ‘How did it go at the church?’

  ‘All right, I suppose. Mam said there were more people there than she thought there’d be.’

  ‘So, who else went?’

  ‘Lots of Joseph’s workmates and some others I didn’t know. A few of his neighbours…Oh, and Ron and Patsy Reynolds.’

  ‘Ooh, I really fancy that Lenny Reynolds,’ Annie said wistfully, then she rolled her eyes, and gave a coy little grin. ‘D’you know he’s got his own market-stall, and the girls are all over him. He looks like a film star, and I bet he kisses really good.’ She feigned a swoon. ‘I’ll bet me and Lenny could show that Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable pair a thing or two.’

  ‘Behave yourself.’ Judy couldn’t help but smile. ‘It’s a good thing your mam didn’t hear you say that.’

  ‘Oh, I know. She would have given me one of her lectures, about not rushing my childhood and thinking of my future. She’d say I was too young to be worrying about boys and such.’ In a temper, she kicked a mound of grass into the canal. ‘I’m not too young! I’m fed up, that’s what I am. D’you know, I’ll be fourteen next year, and I’ve never had a boyfriend.’

  Judy shuddered dramatically. ‘Don’t know as I want one.’

  ‘Liar! I bet you wouldn’t say no if it was Davie.’

  With those tactless words echoing in the air, the conversation came to an abrupt end, with Annie wishing she could take back what she had just said, and the other girl feeling quietly bruised.

  ‘Sorry,’ Annie said awkwardly.

  ‘It’s all right.’ Judy shrugged her shoulders.

  ‘You think a lot of Davie, don’t you?’

  Judy nodded silently.

  ‘And I’ve got a big mouth, which I always man-age to put my foot in.’

  ‘I won’t argue with that.’ Judy laughed. Annie was Annie, and she said what she thought.

  ‘Was he there?’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Davie!’

  ‘No…well, yes he was, only we didn’t see him at first. He must have sneaked into the back of the church before the service started.’

  ‘So, what’s happening with him? Has he gone back to his grandad?’

  ‘No.’ If only he had, Judy thought sadly. If only things could be the same as before, when Davie was never far away.

  ‘So where is he then?’ Annie doggedly pursued it.

  ‘Gone away.’

  ‘Where to?’

  ‘I don’t know…and neither does his grandad. I’m so worried about him, Annie.’ Her voice fell. ‘May be he won’t ever come back.’

  ‘Hmh!’ Annie had seen Davie and Judy together a few times and she had sensed the affection between them. She believed it was more than just friendship. Just occasionally, Annie had caught Davie looking at Judy in a certain way. ‘You do know that Davie loves you,’ she said casually. ‘I mean really loves you, and not like a brother neither.’

  ‘Don’t be daft!’ A warm blush spread over the other girl’s face and down her neck.

  ‘I’m not being daft.’ Annie turned into the corner shop and Judy followed. After Judy had bought the sweets and crisps, it was her friend’s turn. ‘A bottle of pop and two meat and tatty pies.’ She slapped the coin onto the counter. ‘And if there’s enough left over, we’ll have two ounces of jelly babies.’

  ‘Hey!’ Leaning forward, the big man spread the palms of his huge hands on the counter. ‘Lost your manners on the way here, did you?’ he asked sharply.

  Seeing that he wasn’t about to serve them unless she asked politely, Annie grudgingly added, ‘Please.’

  ‘Hmh!’ Taking a bottle of pop from the shelf behind him, he placed it on the counter. ‘It really hurt you to say that, didn’t it?’

  Ignoring his comment, Annie cheekily reminded him, ‘All I want are two meat and tatty pies – if you please. And some jelly babies.’

  Delivering her a scathing glance, he served all of that, and a penny change into the bargain. ‘You’re a sullen little bugger,’ he said. ‘If you were mine you’d not stand for a week!’

  ‘Oh, yeah? Beat me black and blue, would you?’

  ‘Teach you a few manners, that’s what.’ He pointed to the door. ‘Go on, be off with you!’

  As Judy and Annie went out the door, his wife sidled up behind him. ‘Right little madam, she is.’ His wife was usually the one who served Annie. ‘Such an angry child. I can’t make her out.’

  ‘She’s no child,’ he grunted. ‘More like a monster in the making.’

  ‘You’re right, love.’ Tutting and complaining, the little woman scurried away with a parting remark. ‘How that nice Mrs Needham ever gave birth to that one, I never will know.’

  ‘Why are you always so sharp with people, Annie?’ Carrying the bottle of pop under her arm, Judy followed her friend down the bank to the canal.

  ‘I’m not!’ Having got to the canal edge, Annie threw off her coat and spread it inside-out on the grass.‘Yes, you are.’ Taking off her own smart jacket, Judy did the same. ‘Sometimes it’s as if you want to fight the world.’

  Annie shrugged it off. ‘I bags first swig of the pop.’

  Handing her the bottle of Tizer, Judy asked, ‘Is there anything wrong? ’Cause if there is, you know you can tell me.’

  Judy couldn’t imagine there being anything wrong though, because Annie had a good home and a loving family. And as far as she knew, there was no one at school who gave Annie any trouble. In fact, they all seemed to steer clear of her, because of her trouble making antics.

  ‘There’s nothing wrong!’ Annie snapped, and she took a long drink from the bottle. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said lamely, handing the bottle back. ‘I don’t mean to moan and grumble, only sometimes I feel so trapped, I just want to take off.’

  ‘But why? And where would you go?’

  There was a long pause before Annie answered, and for a moment it seemed as though she was ready to impart something; a secret that haunted her.

  ‘Annie, I know there’s something you want to tell me,’ Judy urged. ‘If it’s a secret, I won’t tell anyone- you know that.’

  Shaking off the dark mood that threatened to envelop her, Annie took hold of Judy’s hand. ‘There is something I need to tell you,’ she said. ‘It’s just that – well, I want you to know that I could never be angry with you,’ she said quietly. ‘You’re the only friend I’ve got.’ Beyond that, she was not forth coming.

  Still convinced that Annie was harbouring something too painful to speak about, Judy made a last attempt to get it out of her. ‘Promise me, Annie,’ she urged. ‘If you’re ever worried about anything, you would tell me, wouldn’t you?’

  Instead of giving a straight forward answer, Annie replied disarmingly, ‘What is there for me to worry about?’

  Judy gave it a thought. ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘You’re really lucky, Annie. You’ve got an older brother, and you seem such a close family. I wish I had a sister or brother, but there’s only me, now Davie’s gone. Sometimes it feels really lonely, especially at night when I go up to my bedroom, and there’s nobody to talk to. Oh, I know I’ve got me mam and dad, and I love them madly, but it would be nice to have a sister.’

  Annie hugged her. ‘And instead you’ve got me,’ she laughed. ‘A loud-mouthed, miserable sod who wants to fight the world. Is that what you’ retrying to say?’

  ‘You know that’s not what I’m saying.’

  ‘Well, consider me your sister. How’s that?’

  ‘That’s just fine.’ And now that it was settled, they sat down to enjoy their food.

  For the next hour, they talked and laughed and exchanged confidences, about their favourite film stars and songs. Annie was dead smitten by Guy Mitchell, the handsome American vocalist. Both girls loved listening t
o Two-Way Family Favourites on a Sunday morning, when requests were played by Jean Metcalfe. You had to have someone in the Forces, though, to send in a request.

  ‘Ooh, I could listen to him all day,’ mooned Annie.

  The two girls watched the barges go by, and waved to the man at the tiller, and when the food was finished, they picked up their coats and strolled along the canal towpath. ‘Hey, look lively, you two day dreamers! You’d best move, unless you want trampling to a pulp!’

  Leading the horse along the towpath, the bargee had now here to go but onwards. Shafted to a wide strong harness, the huge powerful shire-horse was bent forward, using his great strength to draw the barge along in the water.

  Leaping out of the way, the two girls went up on the bank and remained there, until the horse had pulled the barge to a wider part of the canal.

  Suddenly, a brightly coloured ball came bouncing past with a little boy chasing it, and behind him ran a woman who caught the boy by the scruff of his neck. ‘What have I told you before, Charlie? You are not to run near the edge of the water.’

  Her companion was obviously her husband and the boy’s father; tall and pleasant-looking, he appeared to be in his early forties and in his smart, double-breasted overcoat, he had the air of a successful businessman. ‘Charles! You listen to your mother and do what she tells you!’ Taking the ball from the child, he gave him a stern though not unkind scolding. ‘I intend keeping this until you learn to do as you’re told. It’s for your own good. Now get between me and your mammy.’ He tempered his rebuke with a forgiving smile. ‘You can still see the ducks without diving in amongst them.’

  A moment later, with his mammy holding his hand on one side and his daddy holding his other hand, the small boy walked happily along the towpath.

  Annie winked at Judy. ‘He’s a bit of all right, don’t you think?’ She gestured to the man. ‘I’ll bet he’s not short of a bob or two neither.’

  Judy didn’t think the man was anything special. In fact, compared with Davie’s dad, Don, he wasn’t worth a second glance. Annie was right on one count though, because unlike Don, this man probably was worth a bob or two. But Don was far more good-looking for a man of his age; he was full of the Irish blarney, and he had a cheeky smile, just like Davie.

  A fleeting thought crossed her mind. What if Don never found out what happened after he left, and what if he and Davie never saw each other again? She swallowed.

  Annie linked her arm through her friend’s. ‘You don’t like the look of him, do you?’ she teased.

  ‘No, I don’t.’ Judy gave a shiver. ‘There’s something about him that gives me the creeps.’ A bit like your brother, she thought – but didn’t say so.

  For a while the two girls just wandered and chatted, about this and that and nothing in particular, until Annie suddenly got very excited. ‘Look!’ She pointed to a spot on the other side of the river, surrounded by trees and away from the madding crowd; quiet and secluded, it was a favourite place with fishermen. ‘Isn’t that Lenny?’

  Seated on a three-legged stool and lost in thought, Lenny didn’t see them. ‘Hey, Lenny!’ Annie’s distinctive voice sailed across the water. ‘Mind if we keep you company for a while?’

  Looking up, Lenny waved them over. He had been feeling lonely, but the sight of the two friends brightened his day. He really liked Judy, though everyone knew she and Davie would be sweet hearts one day. But now Davie was gone, and though he was sorry for what had happened to Davie, he was glad Judy was still here. And as she crossed the bridge towards him, his heart was lurching all over the place.

  ‘Is there really a need for them to shout like that?’ The woman and her son had heard Annie call out and their attention was drawn to Lenny. ‘Such vulgar behaviour!’

  As the girls ran across the bridge and through the field towards Lenny, the man discreetly slowed his step to steal another look at Lenny.

  Sensing the man’s eyes on him, Lenny raised his head. For an instant they exchanged glances until unnerved, the man quickly looked away.

  ‘Stuart?’ His wife’s voice cut through his thoughts.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Do you know that young man?’ She had seen him scrutinising Lenny from a distance.

  ‘Of course I don’t know him, Janette.’ The man was obviously irritated. ‘Why in God’s name would I know him?’

  ‘Do you know the two girls then?’ The woman’s intuition told her that something was untoward. She recalled various other unsettling instances, when her husband had given her reason to doubt his word.

  He scowled at her. ‘What’s the matter with you? Sounds like a blasted inquisition! I don’t know that young man, and I don’t know those girls. All right?’

  ‘I expect so, yes. And there is no need to swear.’

  ‘Good. So now can we get off home?’

  As they walked on, Janette Fitzwilliam gave the impression that she was satisfied with his answer. But she did not believe him. She knew her husband too well. She saw how the colour drained from his face when he looked across the water and suddenly, what had started as a leisurely Saturday afternoon stroll in the park now seemed a frantic rush to get away.

  Twice the man discreetly glanced back; his mind alive with dark, intriguing thoughts. His wife had her suspicions, he was sure of it. But for now, what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

  As they approached Lenny, Annie and Judy slowed their pace. ‘I really like Lenny,’ Annie confessed. ‘I’ve always liked him.’

  Judy was not surprised. Annie fancied every single boy she ever came across.‘Does he know?’ she asked.

  Annie shrugged her shoulders. ‘Don’t think so.’

  ‘Why don’t you tell him then?’

  ‘I will,’ Annie retorted, ‘when the time is right.’

  ‘If you really like him, don’t leave it too long, or some other girl will snatch him from under your nose,’ Judy warned.

  ‘Hmh!’ Annie showed her a bunched fist. ‘Just let them try, that’s all.’

  ‘You like him now, but I bet you’ll fancy somebody else before the week’s out.’ Judy had never met anyone more flippant than Annie.

  ‘I won’t!’

  ‘What about I an Lacey?’

  ‘What about him? Ow!’ Tripping over a stone, Annie picked it up and slammed it into the water. ‘Damned thing, I’ve stubbed my toe now.’

  ‘I thought you and Ian had taken a shine to each other?’

  ‘Naw.’ She made a grimace. ‘He’s not my type, and anyway, it’s you he’s waiting for.’

  Judy smiled. ‘He’ll wait a long time then!’

  ‘You’ll see,’ Annie chuckled. ‘One of these days, he’ll start making his move.’

  ‘Then he’s in for a disappointment, ’cause I’m not interested in him, or any other boy for that matter.’

  ‘Except Davie, eh?’ Annie wouldn’t let it go.

  ‘Davie is my friend,’ Judy answered loyally.

  Annie sighed. ‘All right, if you say so.’

  ‘I do say so, and I don’t want to talk about it any more.’ She loved Annie. If need be, she would risk her own life to save her. But sometimes, like now, Annie could be really invasive. She didn’t mean to be: it was just her way.

  As they closed the gap between Lenny and themselves, Annie lowered her voice. ‘Just look at him,’ she whispered excitedly. ‘Isn’t he gorgeous?’ Her eager eyes appraised Lenny’s strong physique, and the way his thick mop of brown hair fell haphazardly over one eye as he bent to retrieve the keepnet. ‘Who wants Ian Lacey when you can have Lenny Reynolds?’ Annie said dreamily. ‘Lenny’s already finished with school, and he’s really ambitious. He’s already got his own fruit and veg stall on the market.’

  She leaned over and whispered in her friend’s ear, ‘I’ve seen him on a Saturday morning. I hide round the corner and watch him. He’s really good at selling. The customers like him…they keep coming back. One woman said she’ll never buy her cabbages from anybody els
e, ’cause his are the freshest she’s ever had, and the cheapest into the bargain. Oh, Jude, I really do like him!’

  Judy was about to giggle about the cabbages, but was glad she didn’t, for just then, Annie fell into a sudden dark mood. ‘Lenny is kind and decent,’ she said harshly. ‘Different from some people who don’t give a bugger!’

  Her face contorted with rage, she quickly stooped to collect a handful of stones, which she then impatiently threw one after the other into the water, sending the ducks swimming away in all directions. ‘Some people love to hurt others. They don’t deserve to walk about free…don’t deserve to live!’ The last stone was hurled with such viciousness, it frightened the ducks into the air.

  Reaching out, Judy took hold of her hand. ‘Annie, please don’t.’ She saw how nervous the ducks were. ‘There’s no need to take it out on them.’

  When she looked up, she was surprised to see that the other girl was actually crying. ‘Who’s hurting you?’ she asked worriedly. ‘What’s going on that you can’t talk to me about?’

  ‘I’ve already told you – there’s nothing going on.’ Wiping her face with the cuff of her sleeve, Annie took to her heels and ran to where Lenny was collecting his fishing gear. ‘Packing up already?’ she complained. ‘I was hoping you might show me how to catch a fish.’

  ‘I might have done, but you’ve frightened them all away,’ he chided light-heartedly. ‘The ducks too, by the looks of it.’ Like everyone else he knew how unpredictable Annie could be. Added to that, she had a frightening temper, which was why she had few friends, except for Judy, who was always there for her, loyal and protective. ‘All right, are you, Jude?’ His eager smile was for her and her alone.

  Judy returned his smile. ‘Yes, thank you, Lenny.’ Curious, she looked into his keepnet. ‘Did you catch anything?’

  ‘A few tiddlers,’ he replied. ‘Nowt worth keeping.’ At which he tipped the net into the water and watched the small fish swim away.