‘Mam, didn’t you hear me?’ Annie wailed, red faced and out of control. ‘I’m pregnant! Look!’ And she pointed to her swollen stomach. ‘It’s Philip’s fault, Dad. He attacked me – he’s come into my room at night ever since I was a kid. I asked you for a lock once and you wouldn’t let me have one- I wish I’d told you why, but I didn’t think you’d believe me. Mam, Dad, I’m pregnant and you’ve got to help me.’ She was having hysterics now.
As Evie and Derek looked on, too shocked to speak, their son spoke up, far too cunning to be caught. ‘Ask her what’s going on,’ he retaliated. ‘Yes, go on. Before you take any notice of her load of old rubbish, ask her what she’s been up to, carrying on with that gypsy boy from the fair. Oh, I see you didn’t know. Well, he’s made her pregnant, and just now she called me into her room and had the gall to ask me to help her get rid of it. Well, I won’t! I’m too ashamed of her, my own sister … sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry, as you well know, only you won’t admit it, and now made pregnant by a gyppo off the The fair ground.’
Her legs too shaky to hold her, Evie sank into a chair. ‘Oh, dear Lord … Oh, Annie, is this true?’
Always a proud man, Derek was deeply ashamed. ‘She’s the worst kind of trollop! That’s what she is.’ By now, he knew, the neighbours would have heard the row, and it would be all over the street tomorrow.
Outraged, and at the end of her tether, Annie screamed at them, ‘Yes, I am pregnant! But it wasn’t by any gypsy!’ Pointing at Philip, she shouted, ‘It was my own brother. The first time he raped me, I was eleven years old. I’ve kept quiet, even though I often felt I was going mad, and tonight I just couldn’t take any more. That’s why I shouted out for you.’ And then, at their continued silence: ‘Do you hear what I’m saying? IT WAS YOUR OWN SON WHO MADE ME PREGNANT!’
‘She’s lying!’ Philip was a past master at deceit, and like a rat when cornered he was at his best in that moment. ‘I can’t believe what she’s saying.’ He was incredulous. ‘It’s like I told you. Just now, she heard me on the landing and called me in. She told me everything. And now you know what kind of a daughter you bred.’
While Evie didn’t know what to think, as she was still in shock, Derek was determined. ‘I want her out of this house, and I want her out this very night!’ He looked at Annie through narrowed eyes. ‘You’ve all us been one for the fun and games,’ he said harshly, ‘but now you’ve got your comeuppance, and I’ll not have you bring your shame down on us.’ With that, he stormed out of the room.
Dejected and frightened, Annie went down on her knees before her mother. ‘You believe me, don’t you, Mam?’
Her mother didn’t answer. Instead she bowed her head in her hands and sobbed as though her heart would break.
Annie looked at her brother. With his hands in his pockets and a confident smirk on his face, she knew he had won the day. All the fight went from her.
Going right up to him, she said not a word, but looked on him with disgust. If ever there had been murder in her heart, it was now.
But even though she was innocent, she had lost. And he had won.
Quickly, she dressed and left, with nothing more than the clothes on her back.
Where she was going, there was no need of anything more.
For what seemed an age, Annie Needham walked the darkened streets. There was no one about at this late hour, and she was glad of that. She needed to think. She thought of Judy, and Lenny, and her parents, who had so easily been taken in by their son. Why was that? she asked herself time and again. Why did they believe him over her? She recalled her mother, broken by the lies Philip told, and her father hurt and angry, beyond reason.
‘You didn’t believe me,’ she said to the night. Their disbelief had shocked her. ‘Why could you not believe me?’ But her father had been right. She had flitted from one boy to another, looking for Lenny in all of them, and finding only emptiness.All these years, reeling from what her brother had done to her, and fearful that if she told her parents they would not believe her – the very thing that had happened tonight – she had gone from boy to boy, feeling used and dirty, not to give of herself, which she had never done, but with a need to feel wanted. Sexually active from far too young an age, her innocence plundered and mocked, she had let herself be used time and time again.
All those boys … they were simply another means of trying to forget.
‘Yes, all them boys, Lenny,’ she murmured. ‘And not one of them fit to lick your boots.’ She smiled to herself. ‘I think I’ve loved you forever, but you never saw me like that, did you, eh?’
She gave an odd little laugh. ‘However much you love somebody, you can’t make them love you back.’ She wondered if God was listening to her. Nobody else was. She was alone on this earth, but no matter. It would soon all be over.
When her wanderings brought her to the canal bridge, she stood there awhile, gazing down into the darkness of the water. Just for a minute or two, no longer.
Then she climbed onto the wall, closed her eyes – and in that moment when she let herself fall, it was as though all the weight of the world simply floated from her shoulders.
‘Did you hear that?’ Locked in passion with his girl in the alley way, the young man broke away and listened. Then he was running, up the rise and on towards the bridge.
‘Steve!’ His girlfriend ran after him. ‘Where are you going? Comeback, you idiot!’ She started laughing, thinking he was playing a game, teasing her as usual.‘Jesus!’ Looking down at the water, he saw Annie, arms out, floating face down. ‘There’s somebody in the canal!’
Stripping off his jacket, he yelled, ‘Run back to the pub and wake someone up and tell them … Get help! Go on! Hurry!’ As she set off, he dropped his jacket to the ground and leaped, feet first, into the murky water.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
DONAL AND JIMMY had been up since the early hours. It was now 6 a.m. All but one of the horses were turned out into the field. The one horse remaining was the same mare, Jenny, who had befriended Don on his arrival in Bedfordshire.
While he let down the door to the horse-box, Jimmy gave the animal another grooming. ‘This is my first show,’ the little fella said, grinning from ear to ear. ‘I’ve been to countless sales and shows in my time, but this is my first show as an owner. I can’t wait to see the looks on the faces of the other breeders when they see the quality of this mare.’ He clicked his tongue and smiled. ‘This is a day to remember.’Eventually, he laid down the brush, slipped on her head-collar and led the mare into the trailer. ‘Come on, Jenny, my girl! We’re off to show the other buggers what we’re made of.’
Don shut the trailer door behind her, and the two men climbed into the cab, with the little fellow driving; though to Don’s amusement, he could hardly see over the steering-wheel.
The journey took an hour and a half, and when they drove into the field, there were already any number of horse-trailers and boxes parked up. ‘Looks like it might be a busy day.’ Climbing down from the cab, Jimmy looked about. ‘There’s Rob Goodman – he’s been at this for as long as I can remember, oh, and Maisie Billington.’ He chuckled. ‘Better than any man, she is,’ he said. ‘Carries a shotgun everywhere and wouldn’t think twice about using it if she took agin somebody.’
Don had never been to a show of this calibre. Here, before his eyes, were magnificent specimens, their coats gleaming like coal-dust, manes meticulously plaited and hooves polished to a brilliant shine. There were huge stallions and graceful mares, and the folk who paraded them were every bit as fine and dandy as their prize animals.
When it was their turn to unload the mare, Jimmy led her to the enclosure, heart and soul taller and prouder than everyone around him.
‘There are some fine animals here,’ Don said in awe. Though he was not an expert, he recognised quality when he saw it.
Jimmy went to the entry cabin and gave his name as James Benson, owner of the bay mare, name of Sunday Best. This was Jenny’s off
icial title.
Soon, it was time. ‘Wish me luck.’ Jimmy crossed his fingers. ‘She’s far and away my best horse. If she wins the trophy, her value will go through the roof.’ He was shaking with excitement. ‘It’ll mean I’m in with the big boys,’ he whispered. ‘They’ll be clamouring for her young ’uns and they won’t mind parting with their cash, neither.’
The competition was on. The animals were paraded in their finery, and with every horse and owner lined up, the two judges walked up and down with their clipboards and their top hats, and as each horse was eliminated, the line shrank, until there were only five remaining.
One of the five was Jimmy’s mare.
From where Don stood watching, he could see the little fellow’s hand shaking on therein. ‘Chin up, Jimmy!’ he muttered. ‘You’re looking good.’
The judge stopped at Jenny then; he ran his hand down the animal’s fetlock, then along her back, and now he had the mouth open and was examining her teeth. He then stepped back, took another, longer overall look, made a note on his clipboard and moved on to the next hopeful.
Jimmy caught Don’s eye and gave him a cheeky wink.
The Irishman smiled. ‘You’re still in there, boy,’ he muttered through his teeth. ‘Still in there!’
At long last, the moment was here.
The judges called out the prizewinners in reverse order.
By the time they called number three, the two remaining contenders for the title of Best Mare were a fine eighteen-hands-high palamino by the name of Golden Girl, and Jimmy’s seventeen-hands bay mare, Sunday Best.
The judges conferred, the decision was made and, clutching the prized trophy in his hands, the chief judge began his walk towards the winner.
Jimmy was trembling in his boots. If he came first, he would surely faint, he thought, but if he came second it would still be a good result and his name would be known in the right circles. But if he came first! Oh, God above! If he …
‘The winner is Sunday Best!’ The voice echoed through the grounds, and when the judge handed Jimmy the trophy, he laughed out loud.
‘Thank you, sir!’ he said. His throat was choked and the tears filled his eyes, as Don ran forward to take the trophy from his quivering hands. ‘I’ve won!’ Now he couldn’t stop the tears, but he didn’t care. ‘I’ve won the trophy!’ And everyone around him was just as thrilled, for they knew of Jimmy the ex-groom, and the legacy he’d been left, and to a man, they were proud of him.
Like Jimmy said, it was ‘a day to remember’.
He talked about it all the way back to the horsebox, and he talked about it while they loaded the valuable animal, and even when the door was shut and the mare safe, Jimmy couldn’t stop talking.
‘I beat the lot of them!’ he kept saying. ‘I’ve got the best mare and she’s worth a fortune, and I won the trophy.’ He didn’t want to let go of it, and as the folks gathered round to congratulate him, Don went away to the refreshment tent to purchase two pints of the best in celebration.If he himself didn’t deserve it, little Jimmy certainly did.
When he started on his way back, a pint in each fist, Don was amused and pleased to see one or two people still lingering, talking to Jimmy and patting him on the back.
As he approached, they wandered away. ‘There you are.’ He handed the little man a pint, from which he took a long, thirsty gulp.
‘Did you see them come and talk to me?’ Jimmy said excitedly. ‘Some of the best horse-breeders in the land and they came to congratulate me!’ He took another swallow of his cool pint. ‘See that man over there?’ He pointed to a red-faced man of large proportions. ‘He’s considered to be the richest owner of all … sends his foals all over the world, he does. Mind you, since old Frank Thomson got wed and retired a couple of months back, he’s had it more or less his own way.’
‘Who’s this Frank then?’ Don asked, out of no particular interest. ‘Good breeder, was he?’
‘Good!’ The little fella almost choked on his beer. ‘Frank Thomson was the best ever!’ He pointed to where a group of men were talking together. ‘See that young man over there? Well, he turned up at Frank’s place one day a few years ago – much like you did with me, as a matter of fact. Well, anyway, Frank took him on as stable lad. Then the yard manager committed a misdemean our, got sacked, and to cut a long story short, that young man there, well … he took over his job.’
He paused, his excitement at winning somehow overshadowed by what he now told Don. ‘This young fellow and Frank’s daughter recently got engaged. There was a party. The previous yard manager, jealous as hell, came back and set light to the stables.’ He shook his head. ‘Such wickedness. In the chaos, many horses died, along with the man who did it. The girl, poor young lass, was trampled underfoot. Frank was inconsolable. A short time later, he and his long-time housekeeper moved away and got married. And that young man there, well, he took off, but he stayed around these parts. Helps out where he’s wanted, beds down with the horses. Oh yes, he knows his way round horses. Frank knew he was good, or he would never have taken him on. Dave, his name is. Dave … Adams.’
Electrified he stared at Don, who had turned to stone, a question burning in his eyes.
Dave was deep in conversation. ‘This is my last horse fair,’ he was telling an older man. ‘I’m ready to move on. There’s an old grandfather back home in Blackburn who I haven’t seen in age s …’
When the older man raised his gaze to look beyond Dave, at the two men who were staring at them, seemingly entranced, the young man stopped talking and slowly turned around too.For the longest, heart-stopping minute he didn’t recognise the man coming towards him. But in that split second of recognition when their eyes met, he gasped aloud, the words catching in his throat, so he could hardly breathe.
And then Don was running towards him, and the emotion was too much to bear. ‘Dad! … It’s my dad!’
Don caught him in his arms, and they hugged and cried, and when the hugging was done, Don held his son at arm’s length, his eyes shining and his heart full.
‘I always knew I’d find you,’ Dave told him.
And all Don could do was nod.
Together they went to Jimmy. ‘This is the boy in the picture I carry,’ Don said emotionally. ‘This is my son, and I’ve found him at last.’
Jimmy could find no words; his heart was too full. Oh dear, he’d known it all along – that Frank Thomson’s head groom was called Dave Adams … but the memory had stayed beneath the surface. This was what age did to you, he thought savagely, clutching his trophy. It made you about as much use as a piece of hay from a horse’s nosebag, blowing in the wind!
‘And now, we’re going home.’ Dave looked at his father. ‘We are, aren’t we, Dad?’
‘Yes, son.’ At long last, Don was at peace. ‘You and me… we’re going home.’
That same evening, they said their goodbyes to Jimmy. ‘You will comeback and see me, won’t you?’ The little chap was sad to see them go.
Don promised that he would, and so did Dave. ‘Mind you get in touch with the two people whose names I’ve given you,’ said Dave. ‘They’re about the best you’ll get, to help you build a business. What they don’t know about horses isn’t worth knowing.’Jimmy thanked him, and as the two men walked away, he knew that the goodbyes were not forever.
On the train to Blackburn, Dave asked after his grandad, and the friends he had left behind. ‘As far as I know, everyone’s all right.’ Don had no knowledge of the recent events that had happened while he was away.
‘And Judy?’ She was the one upper most in Dave’s mind. ‘How is she?’ It was eight long years since he had last seen her, but her picture was bright in his mind’s eye …Uncertain as to how he might take the news, Don informed him, ‘If my memory serves me right, I reckon she and Lenny are already wed.’
He didn’t see how the news had shocked Dave, because at that moment a lady entered their car-riage and they had to shove along these at.
�
�She’ll be thrilled to see you, so she will,’ Don went on, in a low voice. ‘As will your grandad. Oh, just wait till he sees you, he’ll be over the moon, the dear old fella!’
At that moment, the lady’s small suitcase tumbled from the luggage-rack, scattering its contents all over the carriage floor, and her dog, a small Jack Russell, yapped so shrilly that further conversation was impossible.
However, to Dave’s yearning heart, the train wheels were rhythmically singing ‘Travel-ling home! Travel-ling home!’
Home. What was there waiting for him? The house in Derwent Street, his beloved grandfather, eight years older, and a parcel of memories, to which hewould now bring his own. But he could get through it all, he knew, if only she were waiting for him, too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ANNIE WAS NOT drowned.
Thanks to Steve, the young man who dived into the canal to save her, she was still alive when they rushed her to the Infirmary, where her life was saved. The baby was lost, however, and though she was desperately sorry that such a terrible thing had happened because of her own cowardly act, Annie had come to believe that it was meant to be. The poor mite, child of her own brother, had been cursed from the start. As she recovered, very slowly, from her ordeal, Annie prayed daily and nightly, for her baby’s soul, and she shed many a healing tear.Since Annie had been admitted, Lenny and Judy were never far away. They were there now, though Judy had gone to get a vase for the flowers they’d brought. Their wedding arrangements had been cancelled. Neither of them had the heart for it while their best friend was recovering from a suicideattempt.
Lenny sat by the bed, holding Annie’s hand. ‘I’m so glad your parents keep coming in to see you.’ Anniehad told him and Judy about thefall-ing-out at home, although she withheld the full truth. ‘We’ve all been so worried.’
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